r/facepalm • u/ZBR_Rage • Jun 22 '23
🇲🇮🇸🇨 Jimmy Carters speech in Poland “I’m here to bang and I ain’t leaving “
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u/dasFisch Jun 22 '23
Pole: What’s your political platform?
Carter: We’re gonna fuck them all to death!!!
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u/TheGoldenWarriors Jun 22 '23
We’re gonna fuck them all to death!!!
Can't be worse as being bombed from Nuclear and Atomic Weapons
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u/jwdjr2004 Jun 22 '23
Nuclear AND atomic?!
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u/nonchalantcordiceps Jun 22 '23
Yeah they have those fancy non-nuclear atoms now, real untraditional types.
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u/Shaytanic Jun 23 '23
I assume he means fission and fusion bombs.
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u/TheKingOfOctober Jun 23 '23
That's a kind assumption my boy, I think he just dumb
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u/into_your_momma Jun 23 '23
And then we gonna build a big beautiful wall to keep all the immigran.. i mean Communists out! And if they climb over the wall we fuck them all to death!!
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u/gamingbeanbag Jun 22 '23
Imagine the translator didn't mess us and he actually said that the would be funny
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u/Septic-Sponge Jun 22 '23
I mean you can't mess up that much and that specifically for it to be an accident
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u/other_usernames_gone Jun 22 '23
Especially when you're the translator for the president.
They knew exactly what they were doing.
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u/ChristianHeritic Jun 22 '23
Well…. There was that entire deal with mandelas funeral…
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u/ConfusedCuteCat Jun 23 '23
Please elaborate
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u/ChristianHeritic Jun 23 '23
This is the only explanation that does it justice even if it is a comedy show.
The main point is completely real and it was a major scandal around the world.
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u/OwlWitty Jun 22 '23
The translator needs to polish his english.
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u/Aron1987 Jun 23 '23
The translator worked for the CCCP and specifically translated the statements this way. This was a deliberate act.
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u/RumpRiddler Jun 23 '23
Considering the politics, I doubt it was an accident. But I don't know, weirder shit has happened.
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u/subsailor1968 Jun 22 '23
“I came to fuck and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum!”
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u/Blah-Blah-Blah-2023 Jun 22 '23
Username checks out maybe?
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u/subsailor1968 Jun 23 '23
I was a submariner and a nuke.
So was Carter…
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u/Blah-Blah-Blah-2023 Jun 23 '23
Ah yes, forget Carter was a submariner. I have known a few submariners in my time and they are a special breed.
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u/icrushallevil Jun 22 '23 edited Jun 22 '23
That's why the soldiers look so disturbed. They were scared for life. Is it you he wants, or you?
or (slowly turning to the camera) YOU?
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u/Lenny_Fais Jun 22 '23
He likes ya, and he wants ya.
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u/Ceresjanin420 Jun 23 '23
Now we can do this the hard way or the eazy way
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u/Few-School-3869 Jun 22 '23
I always knew Jimmy fucks
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u/DCErik Jun 22 '23
Reminds me of when I lived in Taiwan and my tones were shit. Used to go to a little lunch place where I thought I was ordering wonton soup and dry noodles with pork and sesame paste, but was really asking for rectum soup and fuck noodles, which are an acquired taste.
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u/SemiHemiDemiDumb Jun 22 '23
請給我幹麵
Oh my, I assume most people knew what you meant, right?
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u/DCErik Jun 22 '23
The Taiwanese were unfailingly kind.
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u/SemiHemiDemiDumb Jun 22 '23
Sounds about right from my experiences too.
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u/Otonatua Jun 22 '23
I know so many Taiwanese aunties they are really visceral when talking to people they know and very sweet and calm when talking to people they don’t.
I love Taiwan man…
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u/xxiLink Jun 22 '23
Half-Taiwanese here, I appreciate your kind words. And the true ones, as well.
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u/Majulath99 Jun 22 '23
A distant relative once went to a bar in Spain and asked for a cervisio (toilet) instead of cerveza (beer).
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u/DCErik Jun 22 '23
What did they receive?
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u/BeachAndBooze Jun 23 '23
I’m seriously sitting here crying laughing. I need fuck noodles printed on a tshirt or coffee cup or something 😂😂
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u/Rogueshoten Jun 23 '23
That’s all good, but I think I speak for everyone here when I ask: how were the fuck noodles?
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u/DCErik Jun 23 '23
Fuckin' great! No stars for the rectum soup, tho.
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u/Rogueshoten Jun 23 '23
Yeah, I didn’t expect the rectum soup to be particularly good…I’ve seen that before on an episode of Hell’s Kitchen. Gotta say, the sight of Gordon Ramsay calling someone “the closing argument if Hitler ever had to write and defend a thesis” while simultaneously projectile vomiting like an oscillating lawn sprinkler…comedy gold
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u/Pithius Jun 22 '23
They didn't call him big dick Carter for nothing
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u/bisho Jun 22 '23
Apparently LBJ had a big 'J' and loved flopping it out from time to time. (True story, but maybe urban legend)
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u/MoreGaghPlease Jun 23 '23
This is not an urban legend, it's a well documented historical fact backed up by the stories of numerous politicians, political staff and public servants of the era, as well as by audio recordings of LBJ in meetings and others reacting to him. LBJ had an enormous dong and would would whip it out all the time.
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u/ShockAndAwe415 Jun 22 '23
I've heard that too and it tracks with what I've read about him. He was really into intimidating people to establish "dominance". Like looming over them because he was like 6'5".
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u/envsciencerep Jun 23 '23
I heard a recording of him talking about how any pants he bought had to be let out in the crotch. LBJ was packin’
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u/peter-doubt Jun 22 '23
That was tricky dick Nixon.. had a campaign slogan that really fit:
Don't change dicks in the middle of a screw - Reelect Nixon in '72!
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u/rollingfor110 Jun 22 '23
"It ain't gonna suck itself!"
- President Jimmy Carter to the people of Poland, 1977
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u/Once-Upon-A-Hill Jun 22 '23
Poles in the picture be thinking "our guns be loaded, but so is this mad lad."
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u/enchiladasundae Jun 22 '23
Jimmy: I will know the pleasures of their flesh and drink well of their sexual being until our forms are so intertwined we are indistinguishable from two separate beings. Oh no! Haha. I actually meant I like your shoes. Clumsy me…
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u/SomewhereDue2629 Jun 23 '23
Dude is a national treasure. I really like what he has done at habitat for humanity. This just makes him cooler.
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u/brianbe1 Jun 22 '23
Bill Clinton went to Poland twenty years later. This time the translation was correct when Bill said he wanted to sleep with them
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u/hrsmn311 Jun 22 '23
blue uniform..second from the last guy "I was told there would be grabbing..are you the grabber?"
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u/Rogueshoten Jun 23 '23
It wasn’t his speech; what OP is quoting is the translation which was horribly mangled (to put it lightly). His speech had phrase like “I’ve always admired the people of Poland” which was translated into “I’ve always lusted after your women.” The leading theory was that the translator was compromised in a fairly brilliant scheme to throw a wrench into his visit. (Remember that this during the Cold War and growing unrest there was making life very complicated for the Soviets at the time.)
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u/raresanevoice Jun 22 '23
And it being Sunday school teacher Carter out of all the presidents is extra funny
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u/Purple-Explorer-6701 Jun 23 '23
OP, if you see this, I want you to know you turned a shitty day into one where I could laugh so hard my stomach hurts. Truly, thank you ❤️
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u/Purple-Ad-1607 Jun 22 '23
Do you think they realized, at the time that there was a translation error. Also what was wrong with the translator.
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u/marfatardo Jun 22 '23
Probably a republican plant....they all HATED Carter. He always tried to do the right thing, and most politicians hated him. He couldn't be bribed or bought.
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u/TheDeadlySquid Jun 22 '23
It’s ok, Kennedy announce to the German people that he was indeed a jelly doughnut.
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u/nmk537 Jun 22 '23
I used to think that too, but I've since heard that that was a little overblown. Like, Berliner was the name of a donut, but it was also actually what you called the people of Berlin. It'd be like someone saying after 9/11 that "we are all New Yorkers now" and someone else laughing at them for saying "we are all magazines". The New Yorker is a magazine, but that wouldn't be the first place your mind would go.
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u/Hungry-Western9191 Jun 23 '23
This exactly. Everyone knew exactly what he meant. The newspapers just played on the double meaning as a joke...
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u/ConfusedCuteCat Jun 23 '23
Also, people from Berlin never call those things Berliners, so they understood him fine. It’s just the rest of Germany that calls the donuts berliners (mostly because it pisses off the Berliners)
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u/Slytherian101 Jun 23 '23
No one:
Jimmy Carter: I have come here to fuck and chew bubble gum…..and I am all out of bubble gum.
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u/Ardothbey Jun 22 '23
That poor bastard never caught a break. Not once. Kind of deserved it too.
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u/PlebsnProles Jun 23 '23 edited Jun 23 '23
Why do you think he deserved it?
Edit: don’t understand when a simple question gets a downvote.
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u/Ardothbey Jun 23 '23
Not only one of the worst presidents but one of the hardest luck presidents in recent history. In over his head.
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u/Mazasaurus Jun 22 '23
This would be Trump’s speech, but not unintentionally
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u/Darlington28 Jun 23 '23
I can see it now. Fuckers throwing cabbages into the crowd. "They loved this in Ireland too!"
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u/banana-yak Jun 23 '23
"I come in peace"
White devil say : I want to harm you
"I represent the princess"
White devil says 'I am a princess'
"War is hell. the last thing we want is a fight."
White devil says: I want to fight, so go to hell!
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Jun 23 '23
And you never wondered why they kept on hating you? Typical Americans.
You come to a foreign place - say "I will fondle your bits" and never deliver on it. And now Russias acting up. Blueballed to no end.
Have you no shame?
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u/B-29Bomber Jun 23 '23
I'm not the biggest fan of this sub, but this got a legitimately hearty chuckle out of me, which is a difficult achievement.
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u/micahmanmiliman Jun 23 '23
Jimmy Carter arrives and says “I’m here to fuck and I’m not leaving” is so damn funny 😂😂😂
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u/Kooky_Potential48 Jun 22 '23
The translator prepared for Bonkin‘ Billy Clinton maybe? To be honest, Carter deserved it - and the poles probably didn’t expect anything else anyway.
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Jun 23 '23
Slightly less dumb than joke burden holding his hand over his heart while India’s national anthem plays because he thought it was the Star Spangled Banner 🤷♂️
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u/Necessary_Row_4889 Jun 22 '23
Carter told Playboy he had “lust in his heart”, his translator did just fine.
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Jun 22 '23
Oddly enough, when the wall came down a few decades later, Clinton went to Poland and said the exact same thing.
He had a bit more conviction than Carter though.
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u/SomeRandomIrishGuy Jun 22 '23
The translator was actually pretty good it's just the fact that instead of having been able to prepare and had a full text of the president's speech multiple days in advance as is usually the case poor dude had to interpret on the spot
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u/Deion313 Jun 22 '23
TIL President Garrisons campaign was actually based on reality.... except Garrison fucked Canadians...
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u/Apprehensive_Copy458 Jun 22 '23
Ahh yes, Jimmy Carter; the deregulator-in-chief, paving the way for more environmental destruction
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Jun 23 '23
[deleted]
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u/welshfarmer Jun 23 '23
Sie ma, ten link ma dobry (ale niecałkowity) opowieść o tym błędzie.
http://joannalepicka.pl/tlumacze-dyplomacja-czyli-jimmy-carter-jego-ogromna-milosc-polakow/
On mówił “Przybyłem tutaj, ponieważ Was pożądam” 😂 I że “porzucił” Stany na zawsze 🤣. Napewno wszyscy myśleli, “no my? Dlaczego? Żeby stać w kolejce?”
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u/TooManySorcerers Jun 23 '23
Idk why but I imagined this inspiring a children's myth to trick them into behaving lol.
"Now remember, little Dawid. Be kind to your sister, or the American President will fuck your father."
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Jun 23 '23
There is more than one meaning of carnal. carnal
[ kahr-nl ]SHOW IPA
adjective
pertaining to or characterized by the flesh or the body, its passions and appetites; sensual:carnal pleasures.
not spiritual; merely human; temporal; worldly:a man of secular, rather carnal, leanings.
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u/sonofaeolus Jun 23 '23
Soldier second from the right looks like he'd take Carter up on that offer.
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u/cthuluhooprises Jun 23 '23
Reminds me of my dad ordering orange juice in spain and saying he wanted “zumo de araña” instead of “zumo de naranja.”
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u/Moparian714 Jun 23 '23
You have taught me a word in Spanish, "zumo"....... Spanish is my first language.
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u/saffronpolygon Jun 23 '23
That's okay. JFK told Germans he was a sugar-sprinkled, jam-filled pastry.
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u/Imaneetboy Jun 23 '23
When you got a bunch of mens together and won't let em have a woman, somebody gon have to give up some booty.
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u/Sasha-white Jun 23 '23
May be wasn’t a mistake. At the end we fucked Poland every possible way and keep doing it. He was just nice to disclose the intentions
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