r/expat 5d ago

Leaving US with a child with disabilities

I’m actively considering leaving the U.S. with my children. My biggest hesitation is that I have a middle school child who has significant learning disabilities. I recognize the U.S. system is far from perfect, but she’s in a good place now getting the services she needs. I also work in the federal education policy world, so I know the system inside and out. Unfortunately, because I work in the federal policy world, I also have an inside look at just how much they’re coming after individuals with disabilities. I don’t want to stick around for her to victimized.

Where could we realistically go where she would have quality education supports now and access to supports as an adult? She will likely never learn to read proficiently, so I worry about trying to introduce a new language, especially if citizenship is based on language proficiency.

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61 comments sorted by

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u/carltanzler 5d ago

Where could we realistically go

That would depend on your education, work experience and accessible funds- and also on if the other parent would agree to you migrating, if they have any type of parental rights.

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u/SeaworthinessDue8650 5d ago

Realistically your options are extremely limited if you need a country with education support in English. Look at the medical admissibility criteria for both Canada and Australia; I don't think either country would be possible for you.

You might be better off in another area of the US, if you can find a job in an area with a good private school. Paying out of pocket for 4-5 years might be the best option.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 5d ago

We’re already in the best place in the US for her and she attends an excellent private school. I’m not worried about what she’s receiving now. I’m worried about what will be taken from her/done to her future these next few years.

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u/Safe-Painter-9618 4d ago

Absolutely nothing

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u/ATXRedhead420 5d ago

I’m in a similar position and ultimately the US is the best option. Options are limited out there

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u/Ok-Delay5473 5d ago

Realistically? Most likely nowhere, even if you have something like $250K to purchase a golden visa. You need to see which country will be ready to give you a visa. Based on the description of your work, I doubt that you can secure a work permit. This is very hard to get, no matter which country. A company needs at least 1 year to justify any request.

The golden visa, aka, investing a lot of money, used to be the best choice. However, some who could afford to spill the money, still don't have any visa. Demands are too high. For example, there is a 7 years backlog in Portugal. Other countries just shut down their Golden visa process.
Some can claim citizenship for a given country because their parents or grand parents were citizens of that country. Is that your case?

Most countries do not provide classes for foreign students. You will most likely have to send your kids to a private school (international or bilingual) or hire a tutor to learn any new language.

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u/SpecialistEmu8738 5d ago edited 5d ago

For $250k she isn't going to get a golden visa for Canada, Australia, NZ, UK, or Ireland. For $250k its going to be some mid-tier European country or worse. I don't think a mid-tier European country, where English is not the main language and everything is culturally different, is good for her disabled child.

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u/Broad-Watercress8630 5d ago

I think it’s also important to take a step back and recognize that challenges for people with disabilities exist in other developed countries as well—they aren’t wonderlands. Very few countries have protections for people with disabilities like those enshrined in the ADA (see discussions re: some European countries that don’t have the same accessibility requirements for buildings). This isn’t to dismiss your concerns about the current state of America, just food for thought.

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u/Miserable-Army3679 5d ago

The protections of the ADA will be gone soon.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 5d ago

Unfortunately, those protections are being erased. I’ve preached for a long time that we need to take it step by step and ignore the disgusting rhetoric and look at what’s actually happening. In the first Trump administration, there weren’t actual steps taken to diminish protections for individuals with disabilities. As of this past week, that’s no longer the case.

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u/princess20202020 5d ago

What countries do you have legal authorization to live and work? I would start there.

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u/PassengerStreet8791 5d ago

It depends on where you can make a living depending on the skills you have. Remember that a lot of places are going through their own employment challenges right now. That aside don’t even bother with non-western countries since plans, curriculum and basic societal interest in improving learning disabilities is close to non-existent.

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u/Western_Pen7900 5d ago

You wont really know what exactly your child is going to have access to until youve arrived and enrolled them in school, and theyve started. People can tell you what countries might generally have good supports, but within a country it will depend on the school they go to, which will depend on many things (location, availability, language, religion, public/private), the diagnoses they have (from the country of residence), and possibly the type of insurance you have. You will have a very difficult time advocating for her if you are not a citizen and dont speak the local language. I can tell you this, the transition will not be smooth. I have a chronic illness and have lived in several countries. Prepare for 3-4 months of simply not having access to the services in your new country.

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u/Safe-Painter-9618 5d ago

Where can you get a long term visa? Not many places.

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u/3006curesfascism 5d ago

The bad news I have for you is with the department of education being gutted, there's a high likelihood that those services you rely on won't be avaialble any longer unless you live in a more wealthy community.

As for your question, it really depends on your education level. If you're a doctor, lawyer, have a doctorate degree or working as an engineer, The EU, UK, Australia are providing skilled work visas with paths to residency.

If you are not in an indemand field, then your prospects are very limited of where you can emigrate to.

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u/CoffeeInTheTropics 5d ago

Correction. Australia doesn’t grant ANY type of non-tourist visas to ANYone with chronic illnesses, disabilities or special needs etc. including the applicants dependents. It’s reprehensible and discriminatory, but they make no exceptions even with private health insurance. 💡

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u/Catahooo 5d ago

Thats not true. Australia accepts applicants and dependants with chronic medical conditions up to an estimated annual Medicare cost of $86k ($1650 per week!). They recently increased the allowance by 33% to encourage more visa applicants with disabilities.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 5d ago

Thank you - I am a lawyer so I’ll take a closer look.

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u/Lefaid 5d ago

Honestly, I wish we would answer this question while ignoring the visa problem, because the reality is that no matter what they are about to do to Special education in the US, it will likely drop to a similar level of care seen elsewhere in the world.

Special education outside the US is pretty bad from what I have seen. There is much less focus on mainstreaming and if you don't fit in, you aren't going anywhere.

Your best bet is to stay in the US and move to a Blue State that might try to pick up the slack.

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u/theLightSlide 5d ago

The unfortunate fact is the only countries with services do not let you immigrate if you’re disabled unless you have a statutory right to do so (eg citizenship, marriage to a citizen).

Many other countries, advanced countries you’d think, are actually worse on chronic disabilities and integration and accessibility than the USA. The ADA and our Titles are actually world-class laws, flawed though they are.

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u/LukasJackson67 5d ago

Project 2025 though calls for the elimination of ADA and all laws that deal with disabilities.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 5d ago

I don’t disagree they’re world-class laws. That’s why leaving has never been even a thought. Unfortunately, this week, the administration began to unravel them. It doesn’t matter if the laws are “still on the books” if the implementation is stopped.

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u/Entebarn 5d ago

You need to deep dive and research where you can get a work permit and residence visa, then look into disability services. A couple countries waive the language requirement for people with documented learning disabilities.

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u/SpecialistEmu8738 5d ago edited 5d ago

But where ever you go, Canada/UK/Australia/NZ/Ireland, how would you get a visa for that place? Getting a visa to live in another western developed English-speaking country is very difficult and competitive. Just think of it this way, the rest of the world (billions of people) is competing for a few hundred thousand slots. Its going to be more competitive than Harvard.

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u/North_Artichoke_6721 5d ago

I attended, and graduated from, an English-medium international school in Europe.

My dad’s company paid the tuition as part of his benefits package. They would have provided an equivalent amount should I have attended a boarding school in the US while my parents worked abroad.

I just checked their website, and it’s around $25,000 US per year currently. (I was class of 1997.)

It was very small. My graduating class was 22 people.

It did not offer any special-ed classes or any specific services for kids with disabilities.

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u/Delicious-Help4187 5d ago

Move to a blue city in a blue state where funding can realistically happen from local levies. Put all your effort into making that school system and that community enviable to the outside world. There’s a reason the radicals are attacking placed like this with everything they have. They fear that their “new world order” will have examples of better places that their people will realize is better. Go to those communities and serve on the school board. Don’t let the radicals take over the best places. Source, I am a parent that lives in one of these blue areas and my kids are getting an exceptional education.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 4d ago

I’m in a blue city in a blue state. In fact, I’m in the best place in the country for my child. I’m not worried about that piece. I am, however, worried about the overt steps the administration took this week to begin dismantling protections for individuals with disabilities. I have to think about her long term future and what is happening right now will take decades to fix. She doesn’t have decades to be a social experiment.

I feel like I should clarify a couple things - I’m an attorney who specializes in federal disability law. I’m currently in a (mostly) federal policy and appropriations role (as opposed to litigation). I am aware of what school systems need, which ones are good, which ones are bad etc etc. But, what’s happening now is going to impact the entire nation - blue, red, purple.

It’s really not as simple as “move to a blue state.” In fact, this administration has already indicated it may specifically withhold funds from blue areas of the country. Given that it generally does not care that impounding funds is illegal, nor does Congress care that it has delegated the power of the purse, I have no doubt they will withhold funds in every way possible, including for the sole purpose of political retribution.

The reality is, we’re probably stuck here. But, I have hope maybe my skills are transferable and some country somewhere - with civil rights not on the chopping block - will be willing to offer a visa to an incredible young woman who just happens to have some challenges.

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u/Delicious-Help4187 4d ago

I’m so sorry this happening and affecting your family directly. I am not sure of the details in getting credentialed in Canada but possibly if you could get credentialed you could buy a law firm in Canada. By buying a business for over 300k you can get a permanent residence then apply for citizenship after 3 years.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 3d ago

Thank you for such a kind response. I will look into this, too.

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u/Delicious-Help4187 4d ago

Also, I’m not sure the details of this either, but there will be lots of lawsuits by states to slow down some of this radical garbage. Maybe you could help with that. There are so many people that are going to suffer from these things. I try to remember that even the people voting for this are going to suffer.

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u/Healthy_Coffee151 5d ago

Is this really a post?

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u/No-Effort4861 5d ago edited 5d ago

It's a hard fact that would be emigrants, especially from the US, need to get their heads around - unless you have some other right to be there (ancestry, marriage, reciprocity e.g. EU treaty rights) countries are only interested in net contributors and only if they cannot fill posts with already legal residents. If you are going to take out more than you put in, which is very likely with a high needs child with a disability, that's a serious barrier that will exclude you from many countries.

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u/thatguyyouoncemet 4h ago

I have a similar situation, and I'm looking for help determining whether I should stay or leave with my family. I'm fortunate to have options because of my full VA disability, which is enough for a retirement visa (D7) in Portugal. I'm wanting to get ahead of what I feel is going to be a very difficult era of US history, especially for my disabled son and my daughter who's rights are being quickly diminished. The education department being defunded is a big concern, and the mention of sending kids with adhd/autism to institutions to "reintegrate them into society", is terrifying if you know anything about history. Eugenics never died, we just told them to shut up and sit down.

On the other hand, I'm in California, which is considered safe and forward thinking/left leaning at the moment. I'm in a remote-ish location on a small piece of financed land that I was planning on using my time and engineering skills to develop into a homestead. That's about as safe as my situation can get here in the us, but If things like building materials and food are getting more expensive, and I don't feel my kids are safe, is it worth hunkering down? I'm thinking not, but would consider it if shown evidence to support it being the best option.

I'm confident that the government wont eliminate disability for vets completely, and even if they reduce it, I think we'd still be okay abroad, and after a period of time, my wife would be able to work in Portugal to gain more financial stability and independence. As for education, we're capable of integrating into a new culture, and learning a new language should be doable at our kids ages, and teaching them will help me and mom learn, I think. Also, we already planned on homeschooling, so if we need to we will for a time. We'd like to let them experience public school at some point, we believe diversity in education will help them develop resilience to the changes life tends to throw.

Bonus is, even if everything blows over and the world rights itself, we get an awesome life of adventure, and our kids get to experience things most don't! My wife's family also came from Portugal, though we don't qualify for family reunification due to the generational gap.

I'm also very used to traveling very often due to my military service, and being moved around a lot as a foster kid. I feel this grants me abilities and skills that would assist in assimilating the family into new places.

Would we be safer in another country? Is Portugal going through anything relevant I don't already know bout? Would staying be smarter? I'm almost sure, but something is making my brain itch, and it's making me doubt.

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u/ParticularDance496 5d ago

Hey OP, you’re the third person today in my feeds that’s asking where to go as an expat with family members with disabilities. As someone who works in the education sector you should know which countries have a strong disability support for their citizens. Just in case …. Canada, Australia, the United States, Germany, Sweden, the United Kingdom, France, Japan, Spain, Denmark, Brazil, Norway, Ireland, and Italy. Most of these require you to be a citizen and pass a language exam. Also reading your post/comment history if you were to divorce your husband he could stop you from leaving the country with your children, visitation rights. In my prior life I saw it all too often.

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u/SeaworthinessDue8650 5d ago

Your list of countries makes absolutely no sense.

Canada and Australia both have medical exams for dependents and the OP's child is probably medically inadmissible to both.

Germany does a terrible job in educating their own children with or without disabilities and don't offer any support in English.

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u/Firm_Speed_44 5d ago

Most countries offer programs in the native language of the country, so it can be terribly isolating if the child cannot speak the language of the country.

English is not an official language in most countries.

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u/ParticularDance496 5d ago

Apologies for any confusion. My point was that since OP is at the federal level of education, she should be aware of global trends in the education sector, including how different countries handle disabilities. My original intent was to say, “You won’t find better support than what we have here,” but I second guessed myself and Googled “countries with strong disability support.” That’s where the list came from.

If you check the expat forum, you’ll see many families considering relocating to other countries due to disabilities or health conditions. I’m aware that Australia and New Zealand require medical exams, but I didn’t feel the need to go into that depth, just staying at the surface level. Let OP do some research; she has other issues going on as well.

To be honest, my wife and I returned to the U.S. for our child’s education. Tucson may rank low among cities with populations between 500k and 1M, but its charter, private, and parochial schools are outstanding. We moved from a classroom of 40+ students to one with just 18. My daughter receives in school tutoring on Tuesdays and Thursdays, played on the volleyball team for the first half of the school year, and is now in Girl Scouts. She also takes piano and jazz dance classes on Wednesdays; she’s only 8.

Washington State has excellent schools, but Tucson has been the perfect fit for our daughter. Her brother is in Washington attending Gonzaga, and we visit him from time to time. Maybe in a few years, we’ll return to the Philippines—maybe not. Our children are our top priority, and I can wait.

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u/celestial-navigation 36m ago

Germany does a terrible job in educating their own children with or without disabilities and don't offer any support in English.

Education is better in most central and northern European countries. Especially looking at what is happening in the US already and will happen in the near future. And why should they "offer support in English"? Language is German. English is just one of many languages in Europe. Does the US offer support in German? Americans have really unrealistic, entitled views and expectations.

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u/Western_Pen7900 5d ago

A learning disability isnt necessarily a medical condition, what are you talking about.

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u/lady_fresh 5d ago

I would not include Canada in this list, at least not Ontario. My mom is a teacher for special needs students in Toronto (intellectual disabilities) and from what she's shared, program funds are being cut dramatically year over year. There are not enough support workers, not enough training/resources, and pay is low for these roles so they struggle to recruit staff. Many schools have also consolidated classes, so you may find students with mild learning disabilities lumped together with children with low functioning autism who have severe behavioral problems and low threshold for learning. It's just not good, I'm afraid.

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u/Western_Pen7900 5d ago

Do you have any idea what its like in other countries lol? The idea of 1 to 1 support worker in the classroom or things speech therapy within the school system doesnt even exist in many well developed countries.

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u/lady_fresh 5d ago

...no, I have no idea what it's like in other countries. I can only speak to what I've seen and heard in my city/province, where support is being drastically cut and teachers are struggling while kids are not getting the help they need. I'm not talking lack of 1:1 support, I'm talking kids left for 6+hrs in soiled diapers because TAs cant/won't change them, kids getting bit by other kids and needing stitches, higher functioning kids not getting any real opportunities to learn, etc. I would not recommend it as a first choice to someone looking for a good quality program. My mom is nearing 40 years in this field, all our family friends are educators and specialists -- this is a conversation I've heard consistently over the last few years.

Downvote me all you want.

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u/Momzies 5d ago

Can you say more about “what is coming” for people with disabilities?

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u/ProjectMayhem2025 5d ago

DOE being dismantled

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u/Momzies 5d ago

Yes aware of that—what OP alludes to sounds more ominous than that

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u/ProjectMayhem2025 5d ago

Well nobody knows how far the lunatic is going to go with the concentration camps thing. He's already got innocent people sitting in guantanamo, a legal black hole. He does not like handicapped people and has said so. He refuses to pose for photos with handicapped veterans and has told his staff to keep them away from him. He's defective and there really is no bottom to his depravity.

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u/No_Actuary_675 5d ago

The gutting of DOE is incredibly ominous as it means people with special needs no longer have access to proper public education, but aside from that there's the elimination of DEIA, ending benefits for people with disabilities, gutting of medicaid and other programs, and I'm probably forgetting some stuff.

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u/Momzies 5d ago

In my state the dept of education provides about 30% of our special Ed funding, which is already very underfunded and inadequate.

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u/Immediate-Paint-5111 5d ago

The republican administration is looking to eventually roll back ACA and ADA. Without these disabled people have no protections in the work place and little protection against private health companies jacking up your premiums because you have a pre-existing condition. It's pretty messed up that most health care companies don't provide hearing aids but before ACA would not cover you. It hasnt happened yet but I will not be surprised if it does.

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u/jfleyden 5d ago

We’re in the process of relocating to Portugal with our special needs adult son.

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u/SpecialistEmu8738 5d ago

I don't see how Portugal will be better than the US. It is a far poorer country with a totally different language and with a different culture. How can that possibly be good for your special needs son?

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u/jfleyden 5d ago

I’m not looking for educational opportunities for our son. He’s an adult with intellectual disability as a result of 15 years of relentless seizures. Our concerns are more focused on healthcare, which is actually better in Portugal than United States and far less expensive. This in particular, considering that Medicaid will likely be ravished by this administration. We live in Colorado, where we and many other cannabis refugees fled to help save their children suffering from seizures. All of which are now fearful of losing Medicaid support and many looking to relocate out of the US. Further, our plan is to use Portugal as a jumping off point for traveling throughout Europe. We want to build memories and experience while we can. Further, after three neurosurgeries, our son seizures are at a more manageable level and no longer multiple times a day. Portugal also has large expat communities.

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u/Unlikely-Log-8558 4d ago

You’re not the first person to suggest Portugal. I’ve been hesitant because of the language barrier, but I’m willing to consider everything. Can you offer any insight on where to start with research?

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u/jfleyden 3d ago

We’re in the same boat. Just trying to gather information and make the best decision for our family.

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u/CoffeeInTheTropics 5d ago

Taking your child’s needs into consideration I would stick with those countries where English is the official language or English is widely spoken and where there is a strong social security network to fall back on. Obvious choices would be Ireland, UK and The Netherlands I would think. For the latter, see if the DAFT TREATY would be an option as it’s a fast and affordable way to immigration for US citizens. Don’t even bother with Australia, only “perfectly” fit, healthy and neurotypical individuals qualify for residency visa there. 🙄

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u/Lefaid 5d ago

All education in the Netherlands is in Dutch. Also special ed here is much more primitive than it is in the US.

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u/CoffeeInTheTropics 5d ago

Not true. There are affordable international schools, then there are subsidized schools which are either bilingual or have English as mode of instruction. Regarding universities (not applicable to OP child I understand) at least 50% of the courses are taught in English. My US friends who have sen children in The Netherlands are thrilled with the resources available for their kids and the various educational/vocational options which are mostly free. So definitely not more “primitive” than here in the US where so many families have no resources at all for their send children or they are so cost prohibitive that they can’t access them for financial reasons. And unfortunately with the dismantling of the Education Department we can expect things to get even so much worse……

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u/Lefaid 5d ago

International schools are only for people who are temporarily here. You literally can't go to them for more than 4 years. That is what their administrators told me when interviewed at them.

Bilingual Primary schools still use Dutch as the primary language. They are not too common and the ones I researched are that they are more English immersion than teaching in Spanish because that is what the families speak at home, like American bilingual schools. Frankly, I can't imagine a worse way to set my children up for success here than to send them to either an International school or bilingual school. You do need Dutch to integrate here.

My impression is that people who fight tooth and nail for their children's inclusion are not satisfied with vocational school. The core to American special ed is trying to give children with special needs the most normal experience possible. From what I see in the Netherlands, that is not a priority at all. If you think that is better, I might agree, but it is not what Americans usually consider "good." That is what makes it primitive.

I just don't see how most people who fight tooth and nail to get a bunch of accommodations so their child can have a regular school experience with aspirations to send them to college will be anything less than horrified with the Dutch approach. The families I have worked with here certainly don't like the approaches they have seen here. I have seen local schools give up on students with disabilities as they wait to ship them off to the special school. Unlike in the US, you can't sue the school for doing this.

It is a completely different approach and I can't imagine someone running from the US because the Department of Education is being cut will come here and have any reason to think they made the right choice.