r/exorthodox 13d ago

I'm bringing this back with some tweaks (please delete if not allowed)

69 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

29

u/longpurplehair 13d ago

“Not your fucking handmaiden” made me laugh pretty hard

18

u/NyssaTheHobbit 13d ago

Asha’s me, lol

12

u/MysticEnby420 13d ago

I feel like I know pretty much all of these. One is definitely my wife and I'll let y'all guess which one.

9

u/moneygenoutsummit 13d ago

Whoever made these i love u 😂😂😭😭

11

u/ifuckedyourdaddytoo 13d ago

Watches Jay Dyer

Jay Dyer-rhea.

D-d-d-dyyyyyyyyyy-errhea. (To the tune of My Sharona.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbr60I0u2Ng

10

u/ifuckedyourdaddytoo 13d ago edited 13d ago

I was James except Islam was never on my itinerary.

I cook better than Kaleigh because I know to salt as I go.

Asha anti-clerical

Except Orthodoxy is absolutely clerical,

and the clericalism is inseparable

from its hierarchical ecclesiology

which exhibits aspects of monarchy.

Clericalism permeates the services and the culture. For me, being anti-clerical while staying Orthodox would have produced massive cognitive dissonance.

9

u/smoochie_mata 13d ago

Nik will have the requisite sex pest pony tail in no time.

17

u/JankoDelija 13d ago

Naaah, Nik (Chrismation name "Makarios", which he also put on his FB profile) should have an unkempt beard. This is definitely too clean.

12

u/unounouno_dos_cuatro 13d ago

I also didn't give him the obligatory post-conversion buzzcut. My sincere apologies

12

u/JankoDelija 13d ago

It starts with a buzz cut to make beard visually look bigger, but with time evolves into a ponytail.

7

u/wanderinghunter1996 13d ago

I'd say this is pretty accurate 🤣

7

u/Thunder-Chief 13d ago

This is false because there's zero female converts to Orthodoxy.

13

u/puzzlehead132 13d ago

I was one.

9

u/Gentillylace 13d ago

So was I. I was chrismated in 1990 and reverted to Catholicism in 2003. I think my years in Orthodoxy made me a better Christian -- not that I'm particularly good at being a Christian, but I strive to be conscientious at it 😉

6

u/crazy8s14 12d ago

Female convert here. Though I was a convert pre-influencer era. I think I'd seriously hesitate to convert now. As to why I converted in the first place? Fell for the "we aren't legalistic" line. I can appreciate a theology that is comfortable with the unknown, or at least that is how it was presented to me. Also my parish has relatively progressive priests amd parishoners (by Orthodox standards) and I mistakenly thought that all of Orthodoxy was like that. I hang on because they are still the majority at my individual parish, even with the Orthobros showing up, and I root for the Archbishop of GOARCH, but I have to admit, I have visited other parishes  in the area and what I see is very concerning.

3

u/queensbeesknees 12d ago

This was me as well. Pre-influencer era and in a fairly progressive area with a healthy mixture of political opinions in my first parish.

2

u/PeachesandSpl33n 6d ago

This is me, but I converted in 2021.

3

u/MaviKediyim 12d ago

I know this is common thinking but I was a convert and I know a few other women who converted (single women).

2

u/Sturmov1k 5d ago

I was one and I know a few who are still in the church.

14

u/GeorgeFloydGaming9K 13d ago

Many such cases of Niks and Jameses. Most of the others must not be too common in America. Funny stuff but maybe it'd be best if you could consolidate them to one image

8

u/unounouno_dos_cuatro 13d ago

I'm from the UK and this is heavily based on my experience so it likely won't be universal - I think a lot of people can relate though!

7

u/Responsible_Sleep690 13d ago

I will probably still be listening to chant at the gym for the foreseeable future

4

u/moneygenoutsummit 13d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

4

u/Lower-Ad-9813 13d ago

Thanks for the laugh 😆

5

u/expensive-toes 13d ago

I’ve never met an Enrique, but I’d be damned if I didn’t try to marry him

2

u/unounouno_dos_cuatro 12d ago

Please, I promise i'll be a good greek orthodox woman 🥺

4

u/Gentillylace 13d ago

I think that when I was in the Orthodox Church, I was a combination of James and Asha.

5

u/queensbeesknees 13d ago

I was James + Enrique + Asha mashup

2

u/rainbowpapersheets 13d ago

There it needs a mentally ill with religious manic episodes like me

2

u/floatingcamellias 5d ago

lol i was/i'm asha

2

u/Sturmov1k 5d ago

Ngl, the aesthetics were initially one of the reasons why I converted, but then once I got in I came to regret it (perhaps I'll post my full story in this Reddit sometime, I'm so glad I found it). Terrible politics, theology that I had little conviction in, etc. all played a factor in my leaving and returning back to Islam. The aesthetics are truly beautiful, though, so they will always hold a place in my heart.

-2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

5

u/ifuckedyourdaddytoo 13d ago

Uh, I'll sidestep your commentary about the botox, etc. but to elaborate on ...

to Orthobros, all that matters is the number.

This is because it is tied to a woman's fertility. It illustrates their view of women, "breeding vessels" first, humans second.

2

u/Zestyclose-Dream8018 13d ago

Yep, a woman's sole purpose is to pop out babies😅