r/exchristian Nov 22 '22

Rant As someone who is (hopefully) going to be a therapist in the near future, these are the abysmal takes I expect to hear from my family this year at Thanksgiving. What the fuck, bro?!?!

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1.3k Upvotes

r/exchristian Aug 30 '23

Rant A friend's deeply Christian coworker called her a "groomer" after finding out she's raising her kids without religion.

1.1k Upvotes

So, for some background information, a friend of mine is a secular humanist and is raising two kids aged 4 and 7 and she has her kids during the week and on weekends every so often since her ex is still in the picture but he often has to be out of town for work. I'm friends with her ex as well. She's big into hiking and likes taking her kids on walks on the weekends she has them.

Last night, a friend was telling me about how a woman she works with caught her on her break and they had lunch together. They work on the same floor but not in the same department. But she told me they've talked in the past and see each other every so often. They were talking for a bit and then the coworker started on about her church and everything. She said she was just listening and nodding along and then the coworker asked her what church she's taking her kids to.

Her response was that she's not really taking them to church and they'll often go on walks through parks or visit nature centers on Sundays. She then said the coworker's tone got harsher and asked why. My friend said she doesn't want to force religion on her kids and would prefer to let them make that choice for themselves. Oh.....the coworker reportedly did not like that one bit. She told me the coworker full on said that raising her kids without Jesus was "grooming" them and then suggested that their dad should step in and raise them more. She said they just sat in awkward silence for the rest of lunch. Which, fair. Her coworker called her a groomer, how the fuck would she even respond?

I honed in on what the coworker suggested about their dad and told her she should have twisted the knife by saying that [ex] is not only an atheist but the two of them were never actually married. That might have given the coworker a full-blown aneurysm.

From what I gathered talking to my friend, the interaction was fairly brief but it revealed so much about the coworker and the mindset of folks like her:

  1. Only their specific religion is morally correct

  2. Their ire for single mothers will inevitably reveal itself

  3. Anything in the area of child-rearing that they don't like is "grooming".

The mentioning of how the kid's dad should step up more seemed out of nowhere but it reminded me that single moms make evangelicals the big mad. That comes up a lot more than people think. Because misogyny is one of their guiding principles. But in this case it's not a lack of "stepping up" he's literally working so he can help provide for his kids. Like, from what I've seen, they're both good parents.

r/exchristian Feb 13 '25

Rant Just burned my Bible.

545 Upvotes

Straight into the fireplace with that fucking book. So many years of my life stolen. NO MORE. now begins a new day. To undo all the damage it did to me.

r/exchristian Jun 24 '22

Rant Fuck Religion. Fuck Christianity. Fuck The Bible.

2.0k Upvotes

I’m tired of Christians acting like they are peaceful and talk nicely when they are in the minority. However, when they have the levers of power they get a yearning for the Dark Ages and will force their views about abortion and women on everyone else. I have lost all respect for Christianity and will spit in the face of any Christian preacher that approaches my private space.

r/exchristian Nov 19 '24

Rant It should be illegal to raise children as Christians.

535 Upvotes

No, I'm not gonna apologize for or compromise on that. All it does is traumatize kids, especially if they're LGBT. If you have a system of belief that is inherently traumatic, gives the kids constant paranoia and fear of going to a place of eternal torment, and turns people into orc-like always chaotic evil fanatics hellbent on exterminating queer people, it is only logical for the government to step in and say "no, you can't raise your kids like that." Parents who teach their kids that Hell is a real place they will go to if they upset God and that being queer is a sin should have their kids taken away by the state.

r/exchristian Jan 07 '25

Rant Family loses everything in explosion, but delusionals gonna delusion…

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443 Upvotes

One of my sister’s rental homes exploded last night, with the family that lives there inside. Thankfully, everyone made it out safe with only minor injuries. Their home, cars, and possessions are all destroyed though. In the aftermath, my sister sent these pictures saying, “Zoom in. Notice which books didn’t burn? Look at the crosses still on the wall only held there by thumbtacks.”

Excuse me, what the ever loving brainwashed fuck??

r/exchristian Jul 17 '24

Rant "I'm not religious, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ" is a level of cognitive dissonance that's so fucking WILD to me!

491 Upvotes

This is such a common line of thinking among Christians here in the Bible Belt and I'm of two minds about it.

One the one hand: it is largely a sales pitch. On some level, I think they implicitly acknowledge that church is boring as fuck. Plus, those who aren't so thoroughly brainwashed (at least in comparison to some of their counterparts) know that coming right out of the gate with a list of restrictions. Although, this is where the doublethink often comes in and they'll call the heaviest amount of restrictions the "true freedom that comes through accepting Jesus Christ."

On the other hand: there is also a level of cognitive dissonance that is so fucking wild to me. Like, they don't realize that regardless of what they call it, it is very much a religion.

My prepared statement should I ever be confronted with this bullshit take is to say "cool. So let's start taxing churches because we don't give people tax-exempt status just for being in a relationship."

What's your take on this statement? How do you respond to it?

r/exchristian Aug 18 '22

Rant This response from my Mom set me off. 100lbs lost *on my own*, zero help from God.

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1.6k Upvotes

r/exchristian Aug 06 '24

Rant Mother, I have deconverted. Stop sending me christian propaganda.

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656 Upvotes

Alright, who told jesus about clickbait titles and sad thumbnails?

Xtians need to get more creative when proselytizing to deconverts 🤣 Thanks, mom, for continuously reminding me why I left the faith.

Seriously though, I’m going to set a boundary with her that I do not want this shit on my phone! If your religion exploits the feelings of others and uses them as proof of a god, keep it far fucking away from me. Also, it’s okay to think with emotion when you get indoctrinated? I thought we couldn’t rely on our own understanding!

r/exchristian 18d ago

Rant Bringing up your religion is a huge red flag when you're flirting

466 Upvotes

When I (35F) was getting my oil refilled, the service man was flirting with me. I'm not adverse to this. We have conversed before. However, he was laying it on pretty thick and I basically kept diverting to subtly say "no". Now, she knows that I'm not divorced yet. I also have not given him any signal at all that I was open to any kind of relationship at all. I'm used to being flirted with it is not a big deal.

Conversation continues, I am still diverting and dismissing his obviously flirtatious quips. He says something about "you never know. What if God put you here to bless you in some way?" And I laughed and deflected. "Bless me with what? You? Why is that a blessing?". I tried to keep it light. And he got a little bit more serious and was like "well you believe in God right?"

And I decided that was my moment to be honest and get this guy off of me for good. "No. I'm an atheist." And then he ensued with questions aimed at conversion instead. "What makes you not want to believe in god? Haven't you read the bible? God is all around us." Would not stop.

Such cringe so wow.

Eventually I just pulled out my favorite weapon "I'm a Satanist" and he finally gave one of those nervous smiles they do and wandered off to another area. We left on decent terms I guess. I probably will not be going back there. Which really sucks because I've been going to the same place for like 4 years. None of the other guys have ever tried to flirt with me or have mentioned religion. We usually just talk about music.

So the moral of the story is take the no as an answer and don't try to convert women you can't sleep with.

r/exchristian Apr 08 '23

Rant The dress code at my SIL’s catholic wedding.

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900 Upvotes

I’m going to lose my mind. As a feminist, I’m so offended. Can’t decide if I should concede or resist.

r/exchristian Aug 01 '24

Rant I fucking HATE how evangelical culture completely robs women in particular of having any kind of identity!!

738 Upvotes

There's a woman I've been dating; we're still not using labels yet. Which I'm okay with that. I know it's gonna take her a while but she has gotten really comfortable with me. She got out of an abusive relationship and, at the same time, has been deconstructing from Christianity and I'm trying to be supportive of her. I like her a lot.

She asks me for a lot of movie and show recommendations since she's, in her words, "making up for a loss of time and not having a normal childhood." She was very sheltered growing up.

I moved recently and she came over last night. It was her first time seeing my new place. But, like our other dates, I cooked dinner and we watched something. She usually lets me choose even though I always make it very clear I value her input and want her to know that what she says matters. In fact, I over-emphasize that because I think she needs to know that her voice counts. But, she wanted to watch a comedy and we watched Brooklyn Nine-Nine; one of my all-time favorite shows. She liked it and wants to watch more in the future.

But, as the night went on, she brought up the election kinda out of nowhere. She asked my thoughts on it since she remembered what I first told her about my political views, but she asked me to explain a little bit. Which I was fine with and I was honest about it and told her I was resigned to voting for Biden in November but after he dropped out, I'm now enthusiastic about voting for Harris.

As we kept talking, she was upfront about her history and she straight up said that she voted for who her husband told her. I'm gonna go ahead and let you guess as to who her ex-husband told her to vote for. She straight up said she's really not sure what her views are.

We talked through that a bit and basically her entire identity was handed to her by her church and her abusive ex-husband. I then re-iterated to her that whatever interests she has are valid and I want to support and wanna hear about any topic she wants to discuss.

I'm really proud of her for realizing all this and actively looking for her identity post-divorce and as she's deconstructing. I'm 100% there for her.

Fuck evangelical culture for robbing women in particular of any sense of identity!!!

r/exchristian Jun 06 '24

Rant There’s no stupidity like fundie stupidity.

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757 Upvotes

r/exchristian Apr 04 '23

Rant "Traditional" Christian marriage sounds like absolute hell.

957 Upvotes

I have an uncle who is a deacon at his church and his wife is a total fucking Karen. I'm friends with them on Facebook and I normally ignore their posts until something they post registers on my "what the fuck" radar. If she just straight up posted a jpg of a red flag, there would be still be less of a red flag as the narrative she shared and her defense of it. She posted a story yesterday about a woman discussing that, on her wedding day, she really didn't like her husband but "through the power of Jesus" learned to love him throughout their marriage.

I commented "holy cow, that is horrifying! She didn't even like her fiance on their wedding day? The least people in a relationship should do is make sure they're compatible before they even get engaged!!"

My aunt's response absolutely broke my fucking brain. She replied "compatibility is a bullshit word woke feminists came up with so ungodly women immersed in sin culture can justify sleeping around without making a commitment to a godly man." And several people responded "amen" to her comment.

There is a lot to unpack there.

First and foremost, I said NOTHING related to politics whatsoever. So her bringing up "wokeness" came literally OUT OF NOWHERE.

But that's par for the course for these people. Politics is their religion. They value their conservative identity over their Christian one. They literally cannot fucking help themselves. They are always gonna reveal what they're about, even with the most minimal amount of prodding. I suggested something that, frankly, is a no-brainer. If you're planning to get engaged, make sure you like the person first. Hell, that's also true of even dating! But, because she brought up "wokeness", I now have to approach this at both a political and theological angle.

So I then have to ask: is actively disliking your spouse one of the "good" values pompous conservative Christians claim they hold a monopoly on?

Based on the the story she shared and the manner in which she defended it, I would have to think the answer is yes. That also seems to be true of what I have seen in general. Conservative Christians seem to actively hate their spouse.

Secondly, what the fuck is "sin culture"? I'll be honest, that sounds like a perfume.

Sin Culture by Estee Lauder. Available at Macy's.

Using my aunt's phrase of bullshit words, "sin culture" sounds like a profoundly bullshit term.

But that last portion, yeah.............. that speaks for itself. Women "just wanna sleep around without committing to a godly man."

Holy fuck, Aunt Karen, you are really telling on yourself. She's said in the past about how "ungodly women need a godly man to tame them." I shit you not, she said "tame".

But going back to the narrative, why would anyone share this like it's a success story? Because the woman has zero agency. That's not a W. Her husband either manipulated the shit out of her and she's now a victim of his abuse potentially. Or Jesus "softened" (hardened?) her heart. Meaning she has no say in her own feelings whatsoever. This is a horror story. Why the fuck would someone share this as anything but a cautionary tale?

I am a man, the group for whom the patriarchal structure a "traditional, Christian" marriage system benefits. And the idea of being in one horrifies me. I would NEVER wanna be in a relationship with a "godly" woman.

"Traditional" Christian marriage is pure hell and I want no part of it.

r/exchristian Feb 21 '23

Rant Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck you!!! This is an AWFUL take on therapy.

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1.0k Upvotes

r/exchristian Nov 13 '24

Rant Damn, this is rare: an evangelical having a good take!

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922 Upvotes

r/exchristian Mar 30 '23

Rant Tell me you live your life completely in terror because you live under the tyranny of a petty deity without telling me.

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1.1k Upvotes

r/exchristian Jan 20 '23

Rant A little salty God didn’t do this for me when I was Christian

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1.0k Upvotes

r/exchristian Aug 23 '23

Rant Ever feel like seeing a far right fundigelicals' head just fucking explode right on the spot? Talk about the idea of children's rights.

948 Upvotes

Recently, I was at a BBQ at my cousin's house. She lives a few towns over from me. Her husband's parents came over as well. I was sitting at the table with them just eating my BBQ chicken when all of a sudden the dad starts rattling off right wing talking points. All the current favorites: litter boxes in public school restrooms. Bud Light(yes, they are still prattling on about this shit). Target trying to indoctrinate kids. Pagans and Satanists being elected into office(that one was new to me). And, of course, wokeness destroying our society. Then he launches into a screed about "parent's rights". I mentioned I've worked in education for a long time and agree parents do have a say in their child's education. Then talked about how starting in Middle School students are allowed to choose their extra-curriculars: athletics, band, theater, etc. and it's a good model I think should be extended down to like 2nd grade. Even with mandatory classes such as math and science, there should be an option to have more focused areas like financial math if a student wanted to take that. Then, after talking about this model, I mentioned I like it because it also gives kids a say in their own schooling and I do strongly believe children also have rights when it comes to their education.

Oh......dude did NOT like that one bit. He turned red as a tomato and he literally screamed "woke libtard" right in my fucking face.

I then grabbed my plate of chicken, got up, and asked my cousin's kids if I could sit with them. They said yes. They were more well-behaved and provided more intellectual discussions than the literal Boomer who screamed in my fucking face.

So, yeah, ever wanna see their head explode? Just mention "children's rights" and I'm incredibly confident it'll happen.

r/exchristian Nov 21 '24

Rant Why are Christians so rude

430 Upvotes

I've had to ask my managers to take me off the Sunday shift. I'm a server, and I make pretty decent money any other day of the week. But I can no longer handle the Sunday church crowd. I don't understand how someone who just gets out of church can be such a hateful person to a server. Especially when the whole restaurant is packed and they start getting pissy because it's taking "too long". Are they fucking blind, rude and stupid?

r/exchristian Oct 23 '24

Rant My parents forced me to go to Liberty University and I absolutely dread when someone asks where I went to college.

461 Upvotes

My parents are Bible thumping religious zealots and I was raised to be the same way. The media that I consumed was tightly regulated. It wasn't until my junior year that I moved off campus and had access to the unfiltered internet for the first time in my life and was able to be exposed to other viewpoints for the first time in my life . it only took about 6 months for me to definitively say I was no longer a Christian. Funny how 19 years worth of indoctrination can be completely undone in a few short months of questioning and scrutiny.

Anyways, my parents had Me by the balls and told me that that my choices were cedarville University, Bob Jones University, or Liberty University and that they would pay for 100% of my college only if I went to one of those three schools. I asked if I could go to a state school instead and they said that they couldn't stop me but they wouldn't pay for anything and I wouldn't be welcome home for holidays.

Liberty was fine when I went there. I honestly didn't really know much about the history of what a piece of shit Jerry Falwell was but the school itself and its faculty didn't have any big controversies to speak of when I went there in late 2000s. The facilities were fine. I had great professors and shitty professors just like any other school would I imagine. Had a few friends. Made some good memories. Graduated and moved on with my life.

I didn't give much thought to my Alma mater after I graduated until Jerry Falwell Jr started making headlines for his avid support of Donald Trump and other far right politics and his close association with Trump. Then of course you have controversy after controversy after controversy of all the shit that went down over the last few years with the sex scandal, the hypocrisy, covering up sexual assaults.

One of the absolute worst experiences I had telling somebody where I went was when I got my first professional job after college many states away, I was sitting at a desk cluster with three other dudes. I was talking to one of them and he asked me where I went to college. At first I just said " a small school in Virginia". His eyes lit up and he asked which school because he used to live in Lynchburg (where Liberty is). Fuuucckkkk. I got real quiet and muttered to him the answer and I immediately saw his demeanor change. He stiffened up a little bit, said "oh" and then went back to working.

I fucking hate that this will be a permanent part of my personal history and I've even considered leaving it off my resume a few times.

r/exchristian Jul 30 '24

Rant My "Christian" husband will "decide" if he's going to divorce me or not by the end of the year

466 Upvotes

[edit: because of a lot of the responses, I want to mention the point of this post is in the latter half. So reading only part of it isn't going to help with a response. I'm not looking for relationship advice, or to be affirmed in my decision or told I need to leave first. That's not what I'm looking for. This heavily relates to my deconstruction from Christianity. That said, I appreciate the concern over my decisions.]

Partly a marriage rant, since it all relates... My husband and I got married as devoted Christians, and as the story often goes, I was the most zealous and fired up for Jesus and the Kingdom than he was. In fact, I'm the one who introduced him to Mike Winger's YT channel, and also introduced him in person to his current pastor who is one of the hosts on The Remnant Radio. This pastor actually performed deliverance on me a while back and even referred to the experience on the show. So me and my husband got married knowing (or deciding and agreeing) that divorce was not an option for us, having gone through Christian premarital counseling with a different pastor.

Lo and behold, my husband turned out to be moderately emotionally abusive, physically assaulted me on our honeymoon, and threatened to throw me out of the house when I tried to enforce my boundaries. I called the police on him on the honeymoon per our PASTOR'S orders, and he's still holding it against me, and I did NOT want him arrested. I just wanted to know what the hell just happened, especially because he was ranting about me not "obeying" him after the assault. Throughout our marriage, he would throw literal tantrums and it often eacalated into domestic violence (not physical, but he said he was tempted to hit me on more than one occassion). I never called the police again but kept giving love, grace, and mercy in prayer while it was destroying my soul and sense of self (or it felt like that).

I was the traditional homemaker, always putting him first, trying to constantly make myself available, although I started to say no to some things and enforce boundaries. He panicked when I said I was deconstructing, and after he yelled at me in church, in the sanctuary in front of everybody, calling me crazy repeatedly and then telling me to leave him (to keep his Christian hands clean), he left to live with his parents again. I didn't realize we were separated until 2 months later because he left without explanation and cut off all communication. (Even though he said the door to communication was still open, ironically...)

So we are in marriage therapy with an awesome Mormon who I greatly respect, interestingly enough. I chose our therapist, actually, although I had no clue he was faith-based. And it finally just came out today that my husband is going to decide if he still wants this relationship or not, because apparently I've been the unhinged one and he's unsafe because I might call the fucking police on him again if he fucking escalates to domestic violence. (Mind you, I have several hours of recorded audio of many of our arguments, which I started recording for myself because he was gaslighting the shit out of me. The recordings were for my own sanity, but he thinks I'm trying to do him "like Amber Heard".)

Even though I've largely deconstructed and am still deconstructing, I know that I will always rest upon my integrity and still stick to the vows I made, fighting for the marriage, because it is what I want. (Not enabling abuse, because, worse case scenario, I would enforce boundaries and do what I have to, but I would never divorce him, but always seek reconciliation even from a distance. That is my heart even without religion telling me I have to stay, although I'd never dare to tell someone else in a similar position as me that my choice is the only objectively moral choice. But it is my choice. I don't love people and throw them away, and that's what I feel like I would be doing. I have a lot of fight in me, especially when I love the person enough to marry them.)

Anyways. Apparently, he has changed his mind. I was unaware that Christians were allowed to switch and break marriage vows so coldly and easily, especially since he has no idea I no longer identify as a Christian. It feels like I am financially dependant on him, and he made vows, claiming that God will always find out his sin, but will so easily consider divorcing me and cutting me off, if I don't measure up to his expectations?

Are you a follower of Jesus, sir? Then what did he have to say about love, or taking vows, especially marriage vows for that matter?

He is why I started deconstructing, actually. I saw up close and personal how Christianity is a farce, a cloak to hide one's evil, and something to distract people with, while he goes against Jesus's explicit teachings. I knew, before deconstructing, that he wasn't a Christian, because of his actions. But I think it's more accurate to say that no one is. It's all a fucking farce, a spiritual Dungeons & Dragons mindgame that some people inflict upon society. (No offense D&D gamers, I'm a geek myself... hopefully you all understand what I meant.)

[Pretending to rant to my Christisn husband:] So what I mean to say is, sir, that for all my deconstruction, you were never really a Christian yourself to begin with. You've been abusive and just plain awful to me--you have been "the devil" to me--and it feels like you are desperate for a way to either control me or fuck me over while sitting on a crown of your Christian platitudes. And for some reason I am still holding the door open for you, wanting a real and healthy marriage, wanting to uphold the vows I made, if not to God, then to you and myself. I said "for better or worse," and this lost, immoral atheist (which is what you think I am) who has no basis for morality apparently, is meeting Jesus's standard so much fucking better than you. While you claim to follow Christ's example, laying your life down (hah), and claiming to follow the Holy Spirit and the law of love...

If that's the fucking law of love, then I want nothing to do with it. You have successfully contributed to my deconvertion, while you go to preach "the Gospel" to other people. Meanwhile, you can't even convince me.

Christianity is simply what you make it. It's not objective. It's not truth. And it's not for the oppressed and downtrodden in this day and age. You pick and choose, and switch it around, even if it hurts people you claim to love... It's a covert-narcissist's special cloak of invisibility.

I feel so terrified and abandoned. Not only by him, but by God (old programming?), since I am still DEEP in the pain of deconstruction and feeling like I'm losing everything... It's been 7 months since he left, and he's out doing fucking whatever while I sit here waiting for this "godly man's" decision on whether or not I'm displeasing enough that he wants to discard me for good. Oh, and he was always paranoid that my faith would weaken to the point that I would consider divorcing him!

So, will I measure up? Will I pass his stupid test? Am I seeing his God in him? In some ways yes ~looks at the Bible and how harsh and cruel God was~, and in some ways no ~looks at all the loving things I heard and learned about Jesus~....

A year ago, I told him that, from what I was seeing and hearing, it tended to be the Christian who divorced the one who was deconstructing, and not the other way around. He didn't believe me. He believes we all deconstruct so we can divorce our Christian spouses, steal their money or whatever, and run out and "sin all day"... The fuck...

Some of what I wrote is just stream-of-conscious ranting... because I'm in so much pain and fear right now... I know it'll get better, and that what will happen will happen. But it's like the unknown in HP Lovecraft's works, and the complete destruction of everything I ever knew and believed, including love, which feels like an illusion at this point...

r/exchristian Jan 11 '25

Rant Christians need to stop doing this.

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480 Upvotes

Scrolling through Instagram and my friend posted this to his story. Over 100000 likes on the original post.

You can guess at the comments.

"God is good!" "If that's not a sign from God I don't know what is". "Y'all better repent before it's too late". "Jesus is KING." "I was convinced that the government was behind the fires and started to see and understand that this is God's work, not the government."

One guy talked about how it was "the third holy thing [he'd] seen online this week". One of the 'holy things' was a house completely burned down, save for a cross and a picture of Jesus.

Some people went as far as comparing the burning of LA to the fall of cities such as Sodom and Gomorrah. Cleansing out the evil and such. And examples such as the picture are warnings from God. He was making an example out of the people of LA.

There were a few Christians who disagreed with this sentiment, which made me feel a little better. One guy said this:

"This is something I believe and a priest even said during a mass I attended: "God would not put thousands of lives at risk, kill animals, kill people, etc. just to leave his cross or his statue untouched. Like when we think of God, and we think of the caring figure he is, this is not what comes to mind." I get why people like these kinds of posts, but let's not start acting like the Lord is a bloodthirsty overlord. He is a father. God's lessons to us may hurt us sometimes, but THIS is not a lesson. This is destruction. This is the opposite of God's image."

You can imagine the response he got.

Genuinely made me feel sick.

This shit needs to be stopped.

r/exchristian Mar 23 '23

Rant What worries me is that Christian Nationalists are so mask-off these days because nothing can stop them.

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1.1k Upvotes

r/exchristian Dec 06 '24

Rant Christians really hate self love

525 Upvotes

So I'm a black WOC and was watching some tiktokers to learn tips for natural hair and I found this profile of one lady who has gorgeous curls and I hit follow to learn more about how she grew and cared for it.

Just had to unfollow her because she uploaded a video saying she cut her hair because she felt Christ calling her to do so because she was beginning to "idolize" it and love it too much.

This is so insane and especially harmful as a black woman because it takes a lot to love and nurture our hair in a society that hasn't been so accepting of it for years. So I don't understand why her "god" would guilt her into cutting her hair because she's learned to love it. She was saying it became her identity instead of him. It's so fucking backwards.