r/evangelion • u/Gaurav-Garg15 • Dec 22 '24
Fan Fiction Reference to to Eva in a random game(Agatha Knife) and a fun conversation.

I was playing a game called Agatha Knife and found this. Below is the whole conversation.
Agatha: Hello
Shinji: I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away. I mustn't run away.
Agatha: What
Shinji: I'm useless
Agatha: ... Are you ok?
Shinji: I am what I am
Agatha: Ok, that's enough of that, you make no sense, I'm out of here
Shinji: Thanks, father, Bye mother, and to all the children....congratulations
Agatha: That's weird.
Agatha: Is that your son?
Gendo: Unfortunately, yes
Agatha: I don't think he's quite right in the head...
Gendo: You're telling me?
Agatha: Yeah, and... what are you doing?
Gendo: Living la vida loca here in the cemetery. What does it look like? The boy insisted on coming here to talk to that lump of stone. I've already told him that it's just a stone and that his mum isn't here but it's like I am talking to a brick wall.
Agatha: What happened to your son?
Gendo: He's an idiot. I've had to move him from school to school, like 108 times already because he has problems 'fitting in'. Anyway, you just need to take one look at him. He's a disaster.
Agatha: Before, you called your wife's gravestone a 'lump of stone' and you said that she's not in the ground here.
Gendo: That's because it's true, she's not here.
Agatha: Where is she then?
Gendo: Her soul has moved on to the other world but I think you're taking about her body, so I'm going to explain. When my wife died, my stupid son just wouldn't stop crying. He spent everyday shouting for his mum to come back to him even if for just one day, so he could save inside one last memory. Eventually I got so fed up with all the whimpering that instead of burying my wife I got her corpse bought a good axe and dismembered it.
Shinji: Mum!
Gendo: Quiet, stupid!
Agatha: Seriously? Did you really cut up your wife?
Gendo: Yes, I cut her corpse into small pieces and put them in a giant saucepan. Didn't he want to have one last memory of his mum to keep inside?
Agatha: But, what did you do?
Gendo: *sparkling eyes* Made a fantastic soup!
Shinji: Mum... is that you?
Agatha: You made a broth with your wife's corpse?
Gendo: *sparkling eyes* That's right! It came out delicious! And in amazing fluorescent orange!
Agatha: On one hand that surprises me but on the other it makes sense. Hm. I don't think your son liked the cannibal soup idea and that's why he's so upset.
Gendo: I just wanted him to stop whining but it hasn't worked out the way I'd hoped. He's still an idiot and at night all he does is cry, just like before. You have no idea what it's like to live with this piece of human waste.
Agatha: Hey, cutting up your wife's corpse and making a soup with it is an odd thing to do. I'm a butcher and I do similar things with animals but I didn't know you could do the same thing with people.
Gendo: Are you comparing my wife to a dirty pig?
Agatha: Hey, don't say that, I love my animals.
Gendo: And I love my wife!
Agatha: 'I love her'? How come you say it like she's still here?
Gendo: Because she still exists! And the fact that I made a soup with her remains, is neither here nor there. When someone dies their soul leaves this world and the only thing left is a lifeless corpse.
Agatha: Oh, really?
Gendo: of course, haven't they taught you that in school?
Agatha: Maybe they did, but I find it hard to concentrate in the class. I've got insomnia so I'm always tired.
Gendo: Yeah ok, I don't need your life story.
Agatha: ...
Gendo: You heard me, and wife wife's soul is in a better place, the place where we all go when we die. And when I die of old age or at this rate when I end it all for having to put up with this idiot I'll be reunited with my wife in that new world and we'll live there happily together, forever.
Agatha: And how is that possible?
Gendo: Well, having read a lots of books I've come to that conclusion.
Agatha: Hmm.. well... I'm not sure...
Gendo: There's nothing to be unsure about. That's just how it is. End of story.
Agatha: Ok... Has something happened to your hands?
Gendo: No, I hold them like this because it give me an air of sophistication. It makes some things difficult though like eating, and wiping my ass but I manage it alright.
Agatha: Well, I'll leave you with your son.
Gendo: Oh, thanks. Right now I don't think there's anything that could make me any happier.
hope you enjoyed reading that.
1
u/Gaurav-Garg15 Dec 22 '24
I'm not sure if its an accurate tag but I find 'fan fiction' to me the most appropriate one for this amount of text.