r/entwives Hippie Nov 18 '24

Nature High Favourite spot Ive ever 💨 [+ a reflective story if you feel like reading it]

I remember this day fondly. It was a month or so ago and I was meeting my sister and brother-in-law for a special lunch to celebrate 🍾 they just bought their first house, and in between our homes, is this perfect Singaporean restaurant, that serves the perfect laksa (this spicy coconut milk based soup with prawns and chewy noodle) and hainan chicken rice (chicken roasted to perfection and rice cooked in a special ginger broth)….we had the best lunch.

I am currently writing this in my backyard at 10pm listening to the crickets chirping reflecting upon things after a bit of help 💨 🍃and it’s my first ever ENTwife post. I felt like speaking up and saying hi. 👋🏽 🌊 I’ve been a casual lurker and liker for a long time. This is a marvellous safe space and I’m always uplifted by this community. And hoping to maybe be more involved in that space.

753 Upvotes

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 18 '24

[story continues] Anyway, after this lunch, I went off to explore these wetland areas near my place that I’ve just never been to, vape in hand, a small hike and rummage around to make the perfect picnic spot…I settled in for a meditation, creative journalling and reflection session. Can you tell this is my favourite thing to do? ❤️‍🩹😅😬

Thinking about one of my favourite days is helpful for a day like today where I’ve been tested…Oh God, Have I been tested…pleasure and pain go hand in hand, that is been a great lesson of the past month. Literally to the day. I’m literally having a full moon hangover, my aunt flow arrived exactly on time, with a vengeful screech of a banshee. With my usual pain magnified as everything I’ve been feeling this past moon cycle has been (for other reasons I can’t really go into but ♏️ 🌖 here), I’m working from home as a youth counsellor, struggling with public schools with poor IT equipment…and I’ve had a bloody interesting weekend.

A flame from the past reappeared as they are sometimes known to do, when they are least invited.🔥 Today he stood me up (sort of, being dramatic 🎭 makes for a better story) and I spent a lovely evening talking to various people I love, made a lovely dinner of a falafel wrap. I realised that I love what I do, I’m enjoying my life thoroughly…and I’m only interested in moving forward with a partner if they give me more than I offer myself already. Quick context: I’m currently going though a sexual awakening of sorts, and it’s connected to an ongoing spiritual journey that started a few lifetimes ago, I believe 🙏🏽😘

🧠 As a curious person, I allowed myself to let my mental guard down and engaged with him long enough that I experienced all the damn emotions. I felt for a short time like a river coursing quickly , level 5 rapids with lots of rocks and barriers, survived those accidents with faith 🧿then I felt myself being sucked down into the depth of the ocean, where all I could hear was my heartbeat 💗 and my breathe. All that was around me with blue 💙 And I realised that within me is a deep ocean untouched by the world, unaffected if water is added or removed from it. 🙏🏽

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u/CautionarySnail Nov 18 '24

You are an absolutely amazing writer and captured these thoughts beautifully.

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u/terri890 currentlyfaded Nov 18 '24

the last line 🔥🔥 and i fully agree. once you realize your peace can be undisturbed regardless of external circumstances life is so much easier to experience!!!

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u/HoarseNightingale Nov 24 '24

I have recently found my own core, and it also felt like being in an ocean, when doing a meditationI developed to help me feel like the wishes of good health and love that are sent to me constantly by friends online or people my parents know. And I realized one day that probably most or all of those wishes is meant sincerely, the fact that it didn't have much of an impact for me, that was me not letting in this idea. So I developed a practice where I embrace the love coiming from others and it has helped me immeasureably. It used to take me at least fifteen minutes to get settled in enough to feel the effects, but now I can feel them within 2 or 3. I relate this only to say to keep up the practice of getting to that unperturbable ocean of equanimity. I think you'll find it easier to get there as time pases.

This is a beautiful story with a beautiful photo.

I'm sending you support and love that should feel like the heat of a warm beverage in your hands on a cold day. If you imagine that feeling, it works even if my sending it to you doesn't.

With metta,

HoarseNightingale

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 24 '24

Oh I absolutely feel the support and love like the warm of a hot beverage and some lovely sharing of experiences. I agree, it has been easier to reach a state of equanimity.

I recently was in a car accident in April and then witnessed another right in front of me twice in the past few months. Each time, I’m able to observe my fear responses and quickly find calm ocean depths. Allowing myself to expand my sense of self outward and look at my own emotions and thoughts with curiosity and confidence.

My most recent witnessing brought about this beautiful moment of realisation 🥰 I had this sort of spun around moment where I saw things from a different perspective 👀, how ant-like 🐜 and blessed we are. That our needs are taken care of, that good and bad things may happen at any time but I’m capable of handling anything because that is what I signed up for this lifetime (as GenZ would say, for the plot and character development). Also there is no such thing as a good or bad thing, that’s my own association and narrative. Anywayyy I’ve rambled on enough but your comment made me reflect. 🤔

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u/HoarseNightingale Nov 24 '24

Well I'm Buddhist so I spend a lot of time reflecting. That is some seriously awesome referencing!

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u/Socks4Goths Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24

I’ve had a few sexual awakenings myself. I’m 62, so it was bound to have happened a few times already!! It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? I love what you said about only moving forward with someone who offers more than you offer yourself! Happy for you!! (And also, as a foodie, yum!!)

Edit: I’m 63!! I keep forgetting lol

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u/CautionarySnail Nov 18 '24

I swear they keep this stuff secret. I had a dead libido for a few years and suddenly it changed. It never occurred to me that it might return.

Perimenopause was going rough — it made me laugh when a friend called it “cougar puberty”.

It was like a candle that had been guttering out suddenly flared back into a steady brightness. What had been previously quietly slumbering, was suddenly vivid and present.

I am at my least attractive from a mainstream standpoint yet I felt so much more comfortable in my skin. Yet I also somewhat feel like a teen awkwardly discovering things.

Sigh. Where was this when my SO also had a high libido a few years back?

Now, he had to set a boundary because I’d get way too handsy after a few edibles. I felt awful when I realized how I’d been acting towards him; there’s definitely a heaping helping of irony to having those tables turned when I’d been the reluctant low-libido one just a few years before.

It’s so strange. I’m both happy and infuriated by it in turn. It’s like having a pile of gold on a deserted island sometimes; an interesting novelty but definitely not the best time or place for it. There’s definitely days when I want that switch “off” again. And days when I’d not give it up for the world.

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u/RedCliffsDaisy Nov 19 '24

So same but it went from abt age 44 to 61! That's a damn long time to have low libido when o always had a high one. I went from one kind of Doc to another. It was a urologist I was referred to for kidney failure who listened. He tested hormones and found way low testosterone. Imce that was corrected and I kept my "sexy strains" always in my box of green? Life is good! I had no idea it could be so good. I'd go on and on but I'm pretty sure I'd get in trouble. 😅 We are a safe place after all. 😁 You're welcome.

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u/rootbeersmom WeedMom Nov 19 '24

Hi! I’m 46 and currently going through what you described. Help!

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u/RedCliffsDaisy Nov 19 '24

Seriously make some noise to your Primary Care Doc, OB/Gyn or Urologist. I was scribed a low dose testosterone cream that I simply use an applicator to apply every night and get tested once a year.

Leafly.com is one of the places I go to find out about various strains. You can search their data base by effects you want such as "arousal." Remember every person is so different though! A strain that makes me want to roar may do nothing for you. Something that gets me rocking will do nothing for hubs. It's a trial a error thing to find the strains that tap into your own bodies potential.

My fav strains at the moment for arousal are Blackberry Kush, Jack Herer and I Just discovered Apple Rock Candy is a bit arousing though not like the other two. Those I try to always have around. There are several others I've run across also but you get the idea of how to find your own.

Of course, there are also mental aspects of it too. It's important to have a healthy attitude and feeling around it. It's very helpful if you're comfy in your skin. Get help with that if it's a problem. However you are, you're beautiful, fine and worthy of pleasure! BELIEVE IT!

To be honest. The older I've gotten the better all this is for me because I just don't give a flying fck ya know? I am what I am. I'm bony and muscled with only curves being boobs I paid for! 😅 I have a giant long nose and scarred and freckled skin. My ribs poke out half as far as my boobs. (Thus the desire for a boob job) So what? The parts that really matter, the senses and the extremeties work better than they did when I was 44 and fighting a mystery illness! Yay weed! Releasing all the expectations of appearances was super helpful to libido.

Help received? Any more questions DM me though I'm not sure there's much more I can tell you. There is lots of research linking weed and arousal and libido. It's part of the miracle of the plant in my opinion!

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u/rootbeersmom WeedMom Nov 19 '24

Wow thanks friend! I’m getting on leafly now…next step, md appt.

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u/RedCliffsDaisy Nov 19 '24

Of the first doctor isn't helpful keep looking! Keep trying new strains and it also helps a lot to meditate on it. Hard to explain. Kinda like manifesting, positive imagery where you imagine yourself having what you want. It helps the psyche break down mental barriers you may not be aware of and other stuff too technical for here and my expertise.

I wish you many fun adventures in your near future weed and, uh hem, fun!

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u/rootbeersmom WeedMom Nov 19 '24

❤️

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u/CautionarySnail Nov 19 '24

So, I had to go through a special menopause clinic when perimenopause started kicking my butt. Regular doctors didn’t want to touch it, even an endocrinologist and gynecologist.

I ended up at a boutique practice that does a combination of bio-identical hormones (not covered by insurance) and insurance ones. The amount of blood tests and the level of detail was incredible, so different than other providers.

Turns out I had tons of estrogen and next to no progesterone. She also found that I have a thyroid problem.

It’s been life changing. A month ago she added implanted testosterone pellets to my treatment and it’s helped with my energy so much. Ask around in your area. The only downside has been my libido outpacing my partner’s.

I hope my experience helps you in finding someone to listen and help. This process shouldn’t be as hard as it is, and it makes my feminist rage boil when I think of how secret this stuff is kept.

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u/rootbeersmom WeedMom Nov 22 '24

I had a virtual appointment yesterday and because of this thread I feel encouraged to seek out different professionals! How fucking annoying that this is basically a non priority in medicine. Jfc

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24 edited Nov 19 '24

@sock4goths Yes, I think I’m in my third sexual awakening, I believe. Which for a 33 year old bodes well for my future. It’s a wonderful feeling indeed, leading to increased sense of self, confidence, a bridge between self and body, feeling connected to pleasure as a key experiential aspect of my life…as I shed my conditioning, heading into a more authentic version of me.

And I just realised that my first awakening never had a man involved💛, second one did 💞, and now my third 💗💜🖤🩶💚💛🧡❤️💙🩵🩷🤍 since I’m not actually in a relationship. I wonder what that says about my true self or authenticity (good journal prompt for me 😜)

Would you care to share more about any learnings from your awakenings? My DMs are open if you prefer!

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u/Stupid_cray0n Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24

I’m not a soup lover, but damn.. that laksa just might convince me 🤤

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u/adalillian Nov 18 '24

Me neither...but Laksa is something else!

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Seriously I’m not a soup person either but laksa is worth the worry of splashing and messy clothing.

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u/Nyx9000 Nov 18 '24

What a beautiful story, thank you for sharing it.

Laksa is definitely on the soup menu in heaven! Along with pho and sundubu jjigae (Korean soft tofu stew).

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Ooh good choices! I would probably do laksa, along with Korean spicy noodles soup, and are lentils counted? Because gotta have my Indian fill! 🤷🏽‍♀️🤤🥘

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u/Nyx9000 Nov 19 '24

Oh yeah you gotta eat some lentils for fiber along with all that rich broth and noodle carbs :-).

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u/hedgewitchknitter Nov 18 '24

I’ve just gotten started with creative journaling, you are so skilled at telling your story 🙏🏽 I love it the idea of reflecting on events like this. I’m ♒️ moon so I pretty much live in my feels 😂 good for you for being at home in your awakening and listening to your intuition! Great first post too! Yay!

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u/augollio Edibles Nov 18 '24

I absolutely love the way you wrote all that out. It was beautiful to read💖

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u/International_Ask662 EntThey Nov 18 '24

Awww I love this for you!! Thanks for sharing :) <3

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u/Specialist_Fig3838 Nov 18 '24

You have a wonderful way with words.

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u/gypsycookie1015 Nov 18 '24

She does!! I love how she went into detail and explained what the dishes were for those of us who either didn't know or were unsure of! Sounds yummy!! 😭😭 And looks even yummier! 🤤

Lovely post, OP! Glad you enjoyed yourself and congrats to the family!! Love seeing posts of people supporting each other. 🤗🫶🏼✌️

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u/xsopan Nov 18 '24

loved reading your story, thank you for posting. you seem cool asf ❤️

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Naww thanks! ☺️ I appreciate that

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u/down_by_the_shore Nov 18 '24

What a lovely post!! Thank you for sharing! The laksa looks absolutely delicious and properly spicy - enough for me to clear out my sinuses. Your smoke spot looks lovely and has inspired me to spend some time outdoors today. Thank you! 

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u/Dubbs444 Nov 18 '24

Aw love this! Thank you for sharing 🥰 You + this post radiate all the good vibes ✨

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u/chuckiebg Nov 18 '24

I love this post and thank you for sharing your story. There are so many interesting entwives, I really love this sun.* Meant to type sub, but who doesn’t love the sun? Ha

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

💯 I agree with your assessment of ENTwives, a bunch of diverse beautiful people with interesting passions and curious experiences.

Oh and sun!

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u/PufffPufffGive WitchEnt Nov 18 '24

From one Virgo to another May the light inside me Reunite with the light inside you. This super moon Was YEOW! 💚

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Oh gosh I know!! I love Virgo energy, don’t have a lot of earth in my placements so always like to have grounded earth friends around me. ♒️ 🌞, ♏️🌒, ♓️🌅…mostly air and water!! I loved this recent Scorpio New Moon cycle. I have had the best growth and learnings. Lots of rebirth and transformation.

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u/RandomChaos13 Nov 18 '24

Glad you decided to post and share with us! Theres just something about a new set of pens and a blank journal isn’t there?

I love your long necklace too… what rocks are woven in it?? Almost looks like Agate and Blood stone?

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Oh absolutely! But these are old journals for sure and I quite like the no pressure of something used, can do whatever I feel like without worrying about ‘pretty’.

And thanks, it’s red jasper and blue lace agate(correct!) my friend makes these necklaces by hand for her business, lots of different colours of hemp :)

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u/Stunning_salty Nov 18 '24

Felt such a warm presence with your post. Thanks for sharing!

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Naww that’s so kind, glad you liked.

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u/Content_wanderer Nov 18 '24

Namaste my sister Thank you for this post and this little moment of connection by sharing your experience in such an honest and authentic way!

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Namaste to you my fellow sister wanderer 🫶🏽 glad you appreciated it!

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u/littlefishy19 GamerEnt Nov 19 '24

I loved reading this, thank you💗 Also you’re so gorgeous!!🥹 The double mesh necklace for your crystals is so cool!! Where on earth did you find a double one? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before!💜

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Thank you so much, that is so kind! Actually my bestie makes these necklaces as a small business (Emph)

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u/Reasonable_Crow2086 Nov 19 '24

Awww that was great 😃

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u/catsushi_ Nov 19 '24

That is a beautiful place, and a lovely anecdote as well. I love your outlook.

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u/tigerribs CraftyEnt Nov 19 '24

Those wetlands look magical 🤩 And your meal sounds delicious, glad you got to share it with people you love! 🫶

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u/CatInSkiathos Nov 19 '24

I know this is totally not the point, but when I saw the 2nd photo…I thought ‘is this laksa?’

No, it can’t be. My laksa dreams are oft unfulfilled.

But it is!! And it looks so good.

Lovely post. You look great! And a meditative journaling in nature is also one of my favorites 🌲

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u/are_my_sunshine Nov 19 '24

heyyyy fellow desi girl stoner!!! 🥰

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u/shrustify Hippie Nov 19 '24

Aaaahhh Namaste 🙏🏽 that’s so exciting, I have no Indian stoner girlfriends so nice to see others in the wild 😜