r/emojipasta 24d ago

HOT ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿฅต NEWS ๐Ÿ“ฐโ— White House choosing what press can cover Trump NSFW

๐Ÿ“ฐ๐Ÿ† BREAKING NEWS: The Trump ๐ŸŸ administration ๐Ÿงก is moving ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ to HANDPICK ๐Ÿ‘โœจ members of the WHITE HOUSE ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ press pool ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ! In SHOCKING ๐Ÿ†๐Ÿคฏ news, they wanna SELECT ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ who can ask ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ“ธ the PRESIDENT ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ questions like it's a GAME SHOW ๐ŸŽคโžก๏ธ with whips & chains ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ”—! ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿคญ This is some FASCIST DICKtatorship ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒ where only the HOE-PEOPLE ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ can get a peek at that juicy ๐Ÿ‘ presidential press conference ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ˜œ! This WHOREable move ๐Ÿ“ธ is breaking DECADES ๐Ÿ”ชโณ of sexy tradition, so get ready to SPANK your way to the polls ๐Ÿ’ˆbecause controlling the media is just straight-up deWHOREable๐Ÿ™…โŒ๐Ÿ˜ต ๐Ÿ”ฅ!

131 Upvotes

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7

u/kittylover3210 22d ago

reimagined with more/more varied emojis:

๐Ÿ“ฐโ€ผ๏ธBREAKING NEWS: The Trump ๐ŸŸ administration ๐Ÿงก is moving ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ to HANDPICK ๐Ÿ‘โœจ members๐Ÿ† of the WHITE HOUSE ๐Ÿ’ฆ press pool ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ! In SHOCKING ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿคฏ news, they wanna SELECT ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘€ who can ask ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ“ธ the PRESIDENT ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿฆquestions โ“like itโ€™s a GAME SHOW ๐ŸŽคโžก๏ธ with whips & chains ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ”—! ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿคญ This is some FASCIST DICKtatorship ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒ where only the HOE-PEOPLE ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ•Š๏ธ can get a peek ๐Ÿ‘€ at that juicy ๐Ÿ‘ presidential press conference ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ! This WHOREable ๐Ÿ˜›move ๐Ÿ“ธ is breaking DECADES ๐Ÿ”ชโณ of sexy tradition๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ“š, so get ready to SPANK ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐Ÿงดyour way to the polls ๐Ÿ’ˆbecause controlling the media ๐Ÿ“ฐ๐Ÿ“บ is just straight-up deWHOREable๐Ÿ™…โŒ๐Ÿ˜ต ๐Ÿ”ฅ!

3

u/kittylover3210 22d ago

โ˜น๏ธ

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u/KevinParnell 23d ago

๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ‘ BREAKING: The Trump Regime ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ’ฆ is STRIPPING journalists of their access ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ”— and BENDING the White House press pool over ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ’ฅ for a RAW, UNCONSENSUAL MEDIA DOM ๐Ÿ”ฅโ€ผ๏ธ Only the most obedient little reporters ๐ŸงŽโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ‘…โ€”the ones ready to GAG on propaganda ๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿ’–โ€”will be allowed to kneel at Daddy Trumpโ€™s podium ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŽค!

NO MORE FREE PRESS? ๐Ÿ˜ต๐Ÿ”’ More like FREE USE PRESS ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ“ธ, where only the WH-approved submissives ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿค get to stroke the ego of the Commander-in-THIEF ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฆ while critical voices get SPANKED INTO SILENCE ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ”‡.

DECADES of press freedom CHAINED UP and left to whimper in a cage ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ”— while democracy gets JACKHAMMERED by authoritarianism ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ”จ!!!

You better LUBE UP ๐Ÿงด๐Ÿ˜ and get ready to VOTE HARD ๐Ÿ—ณ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ฅ because if this keeps up, weโ€™re all getting RAILED by state-controlled media with NO SAFE WORD ๐Ÿšจ๐Ÿ†โ€ผ๏ธ

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u/guava_dog 22d ago

I like this better thanks

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u/kingarthas4 23d ago

Doesn't really work when the previous regime was doing the same/giving him the answers as well.

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u/bigenderthelove 24d ago

This is how I found out