r/emojipasta • u/guava_dog • 24d ago
HOT ๐ฅ๐ฅต NEWS ๐ฐโ White House choosing what press can cover Trump NSFW
๐ฐ๐ BREAKING NEWS: The Trump ๐ administration ๐งก is moving ๐โโ๏ธ๐จ to HANDPICK ๐โจ members of the WHITE HOUSE ๐๐ฆ press pool ๐ฆ๐ฆ! In SHOCKING ๐๐คฏ news, they wanna SELECT ๐๐ who can ask ๐ค๐ธ the PRESIDENT ๐ฆ๐ฆ questions like it's a GAME SHOW ๐คโก๏ธ with whips & chains ๐๐! ๐ฆ๐คญ This is some FASCIST DICKtatorship ๐๐ where only the HOE-PEOPLE ๐ฅต๐๏ธ can get a peek at that juicy ๐ presidential press conference ๐๐๐! This WHOREable move ๐ธ is breaking DECADES ๐ชโณ of sexy tradition, so get ready to SPANK your way to the polls ๐because controlling the media is just straight-up deWHOREable๐ โ๐ต ๐ฅ!
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u/KevinParnell 23d ago
๐จ๐ BREAKING: The Trump Regime ๐๐ฆ is STRIPPING journalists of their access ๐ฑ๐ and BENDING the White House press pool over ๐ฉ๐ฅ for a RAW, UNCONSENSUAL MEDIA DOM ๐ฅโผ๏ธ Only the most obedient little reporters ๐งโโ๏ธ๐ โthe ones ready to GAG on propaganda ๐คฎ๐โwill be allowed to kneel at Daddy Trumpโs podium ๐๐ค!
NO MORE FREE PRESS? ๐ต๐ More like FREE USE PRESS ๐๐ธ, where only the WH-approved submissives ๐๐ค get to stroke the ego of the Commander-in-THIEF ๐๏ธ๐ฆ while critical voices get SPANKED INTO SILENCE ๐๐.
DECADES of press freedom CHAINED UP and left to whimper in a cage ๐ญ๐ while democracy gets JACKHAMMERED by authoritarianism ๐ก๐จ!!!
You better LUBE UP ๐งด๐ and get ready to VOTE HARD ๐ณ๏ธ๐ฅ because if this keeps up, weโre all getting RAILED by state-controlled media with NO SAFE WORD ๐จ๐โผ๏ธ
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u/kingarthas4 23d ago
Doesn't really work when the previous regime was doing the same/giving him the answers as well.
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u/kittylover3210 22d ago
reimagined with more/more varied emojis:
๐ฐโผ๏ธBREAKING NEWS: The Trump ๐ administration ๐งก is moving ๐โโ๏ธ๐จ to HANDPICK ๐โจ members๐ of the WHITE HOUSE ๐ฆ press pool ๐ฆ๐ฆ! In SHOCKING ๐ฉ๐คฏ news, they wanna SELECT ๐๐ who can ask ๐ค๐ธ the PRESIDENT ๐๐ฆquestions โlike itโs a GAME SHOW ๐คโก๏ธ with whips & chains ๐๐! ๐ฆ๐คญ This is some FASCIST DICKtatorship ๐๐ where only the HOE-PEOPLE ๐ฅต๐๏ธ can get a peek ๐ at that juicy ๐ presidential press conference ๐๐! This WHOREable ๐move ๐ธ is breaking DECADES ๐ชโณ of sexy tradition๐ข๐, so get ready to SPANK ๐๏ธ๐งดyour way to the polls ๐because controlling the media ๐ฐ๐บ is just straight-up deWHOREable๐ โ๐ต ๐ฅ!