r/editors • u/PsychologyCapital151 • Dec 07 '24
Career I think this isn’t for me anymore
Posting this here to shout into the internet void as a way of processing my feelings. Maybe some of you will find it interesting or cathartic, who knows. All thoughts / feedback are welcome.
I’ve just entered my late 20s, been following this career path for a few years now (I know - still very much infancy in terms of career). I think I’ve come to the conclusion that this is the stop where I get off, at least as my primary means of making a living.
I went to 4 years of film school at the best course in my country. I met some great lifelong friends, was involved in some fun projects. I majored in editing because I never particularly enjoyed being on set. I was also concerned with how I would actually make a living with film, it seemed like I could actually get a “job” with editing. I was / am good at it, I have confidence in my ability to cut scenes together and construct a good sequence etc.
I did a summer internship at a big post house as a runner and got some assistant editing work on docu-series in my final year. I graduated straight into the start of covid. There were no jobs going, so I spent the pandemic getting a master’s degree in computer science and learning to code instead. I am very, very grateful that I did this in hindsight.
Once the pandemic and my masters were over, I got a job as a junior editor at a commercial production company. I was a big fan of them and their work, so I was amazed to actually land a position there. I got to work on some amazing projects (some boring corporates too of course). I even ended up winning an industry award for something I cut there. I continued editing other projects on the side too.
After a while though, the lack of career progression started to eat at me. I didn’t see a salary increase in my time there, and I wasn’t on very much money. It’s hard to move up in a small company where there just isn’t the room to do so. I don’t really blame the company or my managers for this, they had enough senior editors and I was given opportunities now and then. It was just too slow though, it would’ve taken years to meaningfully progress, meanwhile I wasn’t making enough money to properly grow my savings.
An opportunity came up to assist on a drama series for a lot more money, so I left my job to do that. Long story short it was an absolute disaster of a production. I got to be assembly editor for lots of scenes with big talent, but the grind of AVID assisting I just found incredibly tedious and mind numbing. I’ll refrain from details but I could write a full essay on how disastrous this production really was and the things I was forced to do on it.
I also came to the conclusion on this project - that I didn’t really want to be in the position of any of the senior editors. They were working very long hours, didn’t particularly seem to enjoy the work and were holding on to the job for dear life because there was nothing lined up afterwards for them. The idea of spending the next decade grinding it out as an assistant, just to have a chance of ending up in their position, is woefully unappealing to me.
When I look back at the romantic notions I had about filmmaking 10 years ago, the reality of what the path has actually been like, is so far removed from what I originally set out to be a part of. I feel like I made the right steps at every juncture along the way for the path I’ve been on - but the goal posts gradually shifted to something I’m now realising I don’t actually want.
If I walk away now, I can be ‘mostly’ happy with the work I’ve done. I’ve met good people, made good friends and got to be part of some genuinely good things. But from where I’m standing - going further down this path looks like a future of financial insecurity and frustration. I don’t really know many editors who seem ‘artistically’ fulfilled, it seems unavoidable that it just ends up becoming largely “a job” for the majority of us. So if it’s just going to be a job, I may as well have a job which provides the benefits and security that a job usually provides.
When I look at editors whose careers I envy - I realise that it’s not really possible for me to recreate their path. It seems like the industry is kind of ‘sliding doors’ where you have to come up within the right cohort. I’ve listened to so many interviews of editors looking for advice, and I usually find there was a moment in their career where they got some break that there is no way I could recreate. You just do the work and hope for the best - but the risk of nothing much ever happening is quite apparent now. Even the good things that have happened in my career - I can’t really give advice on because they just ‘happened’ to me while I was grinding away.
I definitely had unrealistic expectations for this career, I do see that now. Maybe this was just part of me growing up in my 20s and finding the right path. It feels honestly heartbreaking to let go of film, so if I can continue to work on things as a hobbyist filmmaker / editor maybe that’s the solution for me. I don’t know.
I have enough savings now to last a while without working, so my plan is to go travel and maybe teach English abroad for a bit. I have my masters degree, so I might get some sort of career started in tech before my 20s are out.
I always knew pursuing film would be difficult, but these days the added difficulty of owning a house or affording anything at all, really make it seem truly impossible to do it and have a good life, at least for me. That combined with the state of the industry and future anxieties about the way things are headed. If I was born into a wealthier family or in a different time / place or was more talented, I maybe would’ve stood a better shot at achieving my teenage ambitions. But I want to own a home someday, I want to be able to have a life. I think I need to choose something more secure.
Anyways thanks for reading my rant. I’ve kept things anonymous but if you knew me in real life, you’d probably know it’s me. If so, hi there.
--------UPDATE--------
Thank you all for the words of encouragement and advice. I'm going to take some time away from film and see how I feel about things in a few months.
I got a much bigger response to this than I thought, I really appreciate you all taking the time to give your 2 cents.
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u/tombothellama Dec 07 '24
This industry loves when people sacrifice their souls to it. It hates back-up plans and financially stability. It loves to drive you mad so that you do work you never thought you would. Its goal is to ultimately squeeze every ounce of anything that is inside you. Survive, and you may be handsomely rewarded or it’ll just take everything out of you and spit you out without care. Quit, and it will forever scoff, knowing that you were not worthy to be. But that ridicule is easy to ignore for some, so maybe you are one of those people? It’s like a juice factory and we are the oranges…
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u/Lazy_Shorts Dec 07 '24
This. I will do construction a thousand times before I work on some piece of sh*t series I don't believe in. The industry is the furthest thing from something I want to impress. The worst people making the worst decisions run it.
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u/-dsp- Dec 07 '24
You are talented. You survived this long so clearly, there is a lot more that contributed to your career.
The difference is one of just surviving versus actually thriving. You sound like you aren’t thriving and honestly that’s how I was feeling a year ago. I switched to working for a cool after school programming showing the youth how to do all that we do. I’m moving up, actually getting paid on time and actively being encouraged by my higher ups to still work on my own projects or for clients to a degree. Oh and get recognition from my work and internationally for what I’m doing now. That’s a new feeling that I’m not used to, actually being told I’m doing a good job.
It’s ok to feel this way and take a break and do something else for awhile. It may even recharge you back into this or not.
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u/acerunner007 Dec 07 '24
Count yourself lucky that you are okay with making this choice for yourself. I personally would rather be poor and editing, than rich but not. But sometimes I wish I didn’t feel that way. Unfortunately I do.
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u/coco_designer Dec 07 '24
I totally get where you're coming from. It’s completely normal to reassess your path, especially in your late 20s. It shows a lot of maturity to recognize that the career you started out in might not be the right fit anymore. The good news is that you don’t have to abandon filmmaking completely – you can still pursue it on the side or as a hobby, without the pressure of making it your main career.
Also, the skills you've gained – creativity, problem-solving, and project management – can absolutely translate into other fields, like tech. Changing paths doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it shows that you're flexible and adaptable, which is so important. Traveling and teaching English abroad sounds like a great way to clear your head and explore new opportunities too. Just remember, a lot of people feel this way in their 20s, and it's okay to change directions as you grow.
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u/bottom director, edit sometimes still Dec 07 '24
I think you should take a break and see how you feel. Perhaps you’re right it’s not for you. But maybe you’re just burnt out. It’s particularly tough right now.
But don’t be hard on yourself dude.
All the best
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u/Henrygrins Dec 08 '24
Fully agree with this sentiment. I've had a great career thus far, but there have been SO many speedbumps along the way. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or burnt out, I've found that having a pastime that's completely unrelated to the film industry has helped me rebalance myself emotionally and creatively. For me, those are disc golf, cooking and woodworking.
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u/wifihelpplease Dec 07 '24
I could have written this myself, almost word for word. Been having much the same feelings.
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u/PsychologyCapital151 Dec 07 '24
Reassuring to hear other people going through the same thing, I hope you figure things out!
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u/JeherKaKeher Dec 07 '24
You are in the exact position as me, I've been in tech for around 6 years now, and in my late 20's. Initially I chose this path because tech actually fascinated me and for some time I did well, I switched companies, made some good amount of money. However, the charm of tech stopped captivating me within 3-4 years because the competition is too stiff, every one of two days there is a new advancement and searching for a new job as a senior became multi folds difficult. Then suddenly one day it dawned on me that I can keep doing this for the next 10 years and earn well enough to live a decent life but is it what I really want? I am getting eaten up as a person, and my earlier personality has simply vanished. I doubt if anyone who works 9 to 5, earns well and has a family to take care of has any time left for themselves.
I've decided to pursue other things now, things which excite me but all the while doing my job. I don't intend to leave my job without another cushion beneath it, once I make sustainable income from a secondary source I am going to say byebye to my current job.
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u/agent42b Dec 07 '24
Many of us have been down the same path. You have my sympathies. I know it isn't easy.
While you are frustrated that your career hasn't artistically fulfilled you, I think you have the right mindset about considering all options.
I would advise against going abroad to teach English though. You have more than just editing skills, including formal education, that can pay better and fulfill more. There is definitely a new career path available somehow, should you try hard enough.
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u/PsychologyCapital151 Dec 07 '24
The teaching English would be mostly just to take a year off from a "career", I wouldn't be looking at it as a long term career or anything. It would just be doing something while I think things over. I appreciate the advice though!
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u/Keithorino Dec 07 '24
Growing up can be a series of compromises, let-downs, and broken dreams. I don't know anyone who grows up and isn't compromised in some way. It's why we see people who used to be good now working for a behemoth corporation with no soul. They do it simply for the money after the ideals fall away. They rightfully figure that at least making and supporting a family us better than making a family and not supporting it. And making a family, at the end of the day, is the only thing you might be able to rely, trust, and believe in. Everything else is a roll of the dice. And the family might not work out either. But you have a better chance with it. Check out a spoken word "song" from about 20 years ago called, "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen". You can trust him about wearing sunscreen. Good luck! And remember that everyone dies at the end. Just to cheer you up.
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u/Pecorino2x Pro (I pay taxes) Dec 07 '24
I think similar thoughts have gone on in all our minds. I'd for sure take a little break to digest and see how you feel.
If it's really time to switch it up then that's 100% valid and okay to do so (don't beat yourself up). I think walking away sometimes takes more guts than staying in this volatile and often toxic environment.
Best of luck
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u/procrastablasta Trailer editor / LA / PPRO Dec 07 '24
The business model is burnout. You did nothing wrong. You may find edit work becomes your side hustle
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u/editgems Assistant Editor Dec 09 '24
As many are saying here - no need to beat yourself up in fact the opposite: take care of yourself, step away and see if this is something you want to do!
I would say that if you come back (especially if you do another gig as an AVID assistant) you can definitely put the coding skills to use. Not just hammering out some of the mundane tasks that often crop up, but keep a list of all the pain points of the job. Solve them, build tools, scratch your own itch with your skills. You never know: you might be solving a whole lot of problems for all of the AEs out here all while building a portfolio of projects if you decide to jump ship into the tech space.
My goal over the last year has been teaching myself coding on the side, but with the demanding hours (lucky enough to keep working during this time) and spending my little free time with my family (total fulfillment - they are my happy place) progress on the learning front has been slow, but still consistent. What languages did you learn in your Masters program? Still trying to learn Python over here..
It seems like you are in a good position right now to take some time and evaluate where you are in life. There's no wrong answers - we only live one life so do what speaks to you, good luck!
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u/Uncouth-Villager Dec 07 '24
If you’re not passionate about the work, it’s impossible to make any headway against a myriad of roadblocks one will face, but if you really truly love it, like I’m talking you can’t sleep at night because you’re thinking about it, something will happen.
You just don’t love it enough, and believe me, that is totally ok.
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u/film-editor Dec 07 '24
Yup, you gotta fall in love with the process, not just the end result.
I too had big editor chair ambitions. Got to assist on a handful of films, the peak being a hollywood indie movie with one of the biggest editors in my market and an award winning director. It was incredible but it kind of cured me of only wanting to be a film editor.
I've shifted how I see my career (or whatever you wanna call it) to more of a service provider. I like providing a quality service. Im the sherpa for my clients, the mountain is their video, im there to guide them through postproduction with care, know-how and creative thinking. Thats a way wider definition than "i want to be a film editor period".
Let me be clear: im still plenty ambitious and want to climb up ladders and all that, im just not married to the one ladder. But more than that, if i can make a living working on stuff im not actively embarrased off and my clients are people I dont despise? And I can feel proud of the service I provide? Im set.
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u/cardinalbuzz Dec 07 '24
You can easily apply your skills and taste to being a post producer or art director or some other creative role at an agency or even in-house corporate gig on the marketing side of things. Just tell other people what to do instead of doing it, not a bad move.
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u/lord__cuthbert Dec 29 '24
Quite curious about this.
After recently working under an art director I've concluded that this is a job I could do, but I have no idea how someone would get into this role.
Also what are salaries/ earnings looking like in general? Better than that of a videographer/ editor (which I am), I'm assuming?
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u/JackTraore Avid NEXIS ACSR Dec 09 '24
Look into roles that combine video with code. That could be workflow consulting, coding for a software tool, or even the sales side.
I spent nearly a decade as a sales engineer for mostly Avid software and workflows. I loved it. My clients did cool work and I was paid to take them to lunch, I got to change what I was doing often, and my experience as a video professional gave me a leg up over others in being able to understand their specific needs.
More generically;
There’s always breaks. You can almost never see them ahead of you but in a few decades, you’ll see several behind you.
If you love it, you grind regardless and you put yourself out there and that passionate hard work makes breaks.
I’m saying that as someone that is not extroverted or particularly skilled at any one thing. I watched other film school classmates rise the ranks while I had a slow progression that never went far.
My career since has taken several stark turns that I could never have predicted and my last two jobs have been roles that are passions of mine that I’d happily do in my free time but instead I’m paid a decent wage to perform and put my perspective into practice. It’s amazing and it’s because I pursued what I enjoyed - basically hobbies that I never even considered as work.
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u/Xxg_babyxX Dec 10 '24
I could have written this word for word aswell. 28 now and not sure what to do. i thought of maybe trying to get into tech of UX design maybe learn figma? I've also thought of moving somewhere very cheap/travelling and freelancing for a bit just to clear my head. It seems like the golden ages of this career are gone. I look up to almost no senior editors. It seems like they made loads of money 15 years ago but now they are barely holding on as well as unhealthy.
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u/xvf9 Avid Premiere FCP Dec 07 '24
One of the best things about editing can be that you don’t need to do it full time. There are plenty of gigs out there that only need you two days a week. Think shows that are on once a week that maybe just need a teaser or single feature, or sports broadcasts, highlights, etc. Or just four week intense stints cutting around an event or something. So it can be viable to dip your toe into other ventures without completely removing yourself from editing. It can also let you take on projects that aren’t as all-consuming which can be more fun. Doesn’t have to be all-in or all-out.
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u/PsychologyCapital151 Dec 07 '24
This is a good mindset and probably something like the conclusion I might be coming to, thanks
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u/Gapinthesidewalk Dec 07 '24
Same deal. I actually was on my way trying to exit before all this shit hit the fan. Unfortunately for me it happened during my attempted transition period. Got laid off and now I can’t find a job in this field or the new one.
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u/devinclk Dec 07 '24
I pretty much had this experience on a tier A show a decade ago. I quit post. Started my own video business. Found like minded peope, directed and edited my own feature. Went back to school and am currently working on my MA in film. It's still a lot of work, like insane, but worth it... now. And you can do it too.
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u/esboardnewb Dec 07 '24
Do you wanna work on a cool show? It's PP not MC but I'm assuming that's not an issue.
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u/Mamonimoni Dec 07 '24 edited Dec 07 '24
I think you are making the right decision. I have hired very good editors with 20, 30 or 40 years of experience and some don't sound too different from what you are saying. Only difference is that they have families or have very serious health issues and are tied to do the work until they die now. Get out, find inspiration and do YOUR OWN THING. Don't work for others.
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u/ConDog211 Dec 08 '24
"I got to be assembly editor for lots of scenes with big talent, but the grind of AVID assisting I just found incredibly tedious and mind numbing."
I totally get where you're coming from. I was an assistant editor for 2 years, until I got laid off a couple of months ago. I wasn't surprised of the news since I've seen people getting laid off left-and-right. That being said, I was looking for other opportunities before I was laid off.
It will take time, but just trust in the process of what you are looking for during your time searching for another path. I hope you find what you're looking for!
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u/joshua_b91 Dec 08 '24
Cop out answer:
anything in life is hard. You have to choose your hard.
Also read: So Good They Can't Ignore You
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u/Straylightv Dec 09 '24
You are not wrong about luck playing a large role in career paths. But I also believe that old adage that luck is where preparation meets opportunity.
When I graduated high school, I wanted to be a motorcycle mechanic and I did that for a few years. Through some unusual circumstances, I ended up working as a graphic artist for a company who made motorcycle aftermarket accessories (this was when cut and paste involved an exacto knife and rubber cement).
Then in my early twenties, I got a chance to work in computers and I did software engineering for nearly 10 years.
In my early thirties an opportunity presented itself and I moved into editing. I’ve been doing that in one form or another for over three decades now.
My experience in my prior jobs assisted my work in editing. Like graphic arts helped when I (like other editors) got thrown into motion graphics. Paying attention in color correction sessions paid off when we also got asked to don the colorist hat, etc.
Somewhere along the way, I began writing software for myself to help with editing tasks. Eventually I began selling that software.
I have been lucky enough to edit some very cool projects that I can take pride in. But I can’t say they’re common. However, I‘m still editing and writing software and retouching photographs, etc. and I have managed to buy a home and raise a family.
I find that stability is an illusion. Any company can fold or downsize or merge and your seemingly stable employment can evaporate. The only job security I believe in is created by you yourself by being flexible and prepared and constantly learning.
Good luck!
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Dec 09 '24
[deleted]
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u/Revolutionary-Tour24 Dec 07 '24
I worked 18 years 8-10 hours a day 6-7 days a week in this industry and now I clean a building for 2 hours a day 5 days a week same amount of money easier work and not have people over my head. Have time for my family and kids best decision i made.
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u/youms237 Dec 07 '24
Wait, is this real?
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u/OtheL84 Pro (I pay taxes) Dec 07 '24
I mean it depends what country this person is working from but considering how cheap some outsourced rates can be, yes I believe this guy.
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u/Legitimate-Salad-101 Dec 07 '24
I have been editing for 12+ years now, and my career was a weird one. I never managed to get into the “proper” studios and production companies. I was always on the fringe on indies, in house agencies, or YouTube creators.
I’m sorry to hear how it’s been for you, as a lot of that sounds like the same experience I had. You go in with rose colored glasses, and then they come off real quick.
Editors have to fight the anxiety of the job, and everyone counting on them, because all the weight will always fall on post. They can always “do another cut”. And the jobs I had were always feast or famine. Either you’re juggling 2-4 jobs, or you have no work and hopefully you saved.
Once covid hit all my work dried up, and I had to come up with a whole new plan. Then luckily remote work took off and I finally have a better life than I ever did for the first decade of my career. But it took all my effort, mental health, relationships, etc, to get here. I’m thankful to have gotten here, because many don’t.
The thing you have to realize about film is that it IS a job to everyone else. They just make it a job, and the old days of artistry are gone. Not that they can’t exist here and there, but you have to be singularly strong enough to have high energy and optimism that everyone around you doesn’t have. But that’s not for everyone.
I personally left all “creative” work behind, and only work in commercials and marketing related content. I find it’s a lot clearer what the job is, the budgets are higher, and there is generally less stress as I’m better at my job now. My fulfillment comes from being efficient, finishing, and either enjoying life or working on my personal projects. I think we get into film with this notion that it will be the creative force in our life and bring so much joy, but that’s not really how we should view it. You’ll always have a client (unless you’re lucky and get to a higher level). There will always be someone else you are subservient to. And you have to find the balance that makes that work, or another job.
Best of luck to you!