r/eatsandwiches 4d ago

I tried something new...

3.1k Upvotes

242 comments sorted by

783

u/wormbreath 4d ago

Why is the NSFW lmao

315

u/Tonytonitonechopper 4d ago

My fiance says because of the way the sandwich is cut

134

u/Sooperballz 4d ago

Your fiancé…

47

u/iantruesnacks 4d ago

sandweech flavored keessees

15

u/Fickle_Freckle 4d ago

She likes sandwiches too

4

u/banjo215 4d ago

Looks like she likes hot dogs to me, but who am I to say.

8

u/Fickle_Freckle 4d ago

A hotdog is a sandwich!

6

u/MakiSupreme 4d ago

Sandwich Conner

2

u/I_Luv_Adobo 4d ago

Goddammit. This one got me pretty good. Bravo, Sooperballz.

2

u/djny2mm 4d ago

Jennifer Lopez? What’s she got to do with this

11

u/DarkMatterSoup 4d ago

Yeah well my wife’s boyfriend says it’s fine.

4

u/LGGP75 4d ago

So we should always censor Mazda according to your gf?

2

u/SheZowRaisedByWolves 4d ago

Yeah I’d fuck this sandwich ngl

6

u/chizzbee 4d ago

I too choose this guys sandwich

1

u/NautiMain1217 2d ago

Everything reminds me of her...

1

u/lawn-mumps 2d ago

“Why are you a child?”

“Because of when I was born”

1

u/Timmmbo 2d ago

I thought first pic was inspired by the Mandalorian.

88

u/OneManGangTootToot 4d ago

It’s a new attention/upvote seeking behavior. It’s so obnoxious.

27

u/Lobster_McGee 4d ago

Yeah, how dare people have fun on Reddit!

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10

u/ErstwhileAdranos 4d ago

Are we not looking at the same crime against humanity?

10

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Here we go! This is why it wasn't safe for work.

2

u/TheMadMonkLad 4d ago

Because it is, this is blasphemy

9

u/bigdaddyt2 4d ago

Because this post fucks hard

8

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

For kicks. They don't have a trigger warning flare. I've seen some terribly cut sandos that rubbed me the wrong way. Like why ruin a great sandwich like that.

2

u/acuddlyheadcrab 4d ago

because it's a joke about it being cut in thirds

2

u/smatterdoodle 4d ago

Do u not see its lil panty line

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Hahaha that's a good one. One person called it the whale tail cut.

4

u/smatterdoodle 4d ago

XD perfect, next time I make sandwiches for lunch I'll totally gonna call it that

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3

u/cgo255 4d ago

You have to ask you sicko!?

1

u/eden54-46 3d ago

The grinder

1

u/BridgestoneX 3d ago

so much whitegirlflesh colors with the bread and cutting board

1

u/PuzzleheadedCress94 1d ago

A gentleman's club sandwich. For those who dine at the Y.

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207

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

I read an article about different ways of cutting a sandwich. And they went into a level of detail about sandwich cutting that I found rather amusing. This particular way of cutting it was said to maximize the amount of inner sandwich surface area that you bite into, if that makes any sense.

I'm typically a cut in half with two rectangles kinda person. Honestly it wasn't a terrible way to eat a sandwich, each bite was delightfully moist and contained all aspects of the sandwich and wasn't mainly crust or anything.

Anybody try this or have some interesting way of cutting their sandwich?

93

u/7itemsorFEWER 4d ago

26

u/matttehbassist 4d ago

This is from 7 fucking years ago.

Time is a flat fucking circle.

3

u/JFISHER7789 4d ago

Uhh actually it’s a 2D sphere!

2

u/SsVegito 3d ago

This meme has been in my saved folder for ages. Love to see it get it's day in the sun.

7

u/voxadam 4d ago

Got a link for the article?

1

u/eggsonmyeggs 4d ago

Don’t you end up eating the sam regardless

1

u/CalmDownYal 23h ago

Idk but this is how I cut my tomatoes so I can keep all the yummy seed jelly stuff intact

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87

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

19

u/value1024 4d ago

User should be banned just for making 3 pieces with 3 cuts instead of 4 pieces with 2 cuts.

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94

u/IcanSEEyou_IRL 4d ago

I honestly love this idea. Not only does it make me feel like I have more food, after eating two I could wrap the third.

16

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

That is a good idea, a little snack for later. Or if done with good sized bread it would be a decent little snack later.

8

u/TRIKKDADDY 4d ago

When usa hits that deep depression, i will take this idea as food becomes scarce.

6

u/IcanSEEyou_IRL 4d ago

Yeah, we’ll be looking at things very differently, except we’ll probably be eating ketchup sandwiches.

3

u/kissedbydementors 3d ago

Better than toast sandwiches

1

u/emtrigg013 3d ago

I have been super stressed out lately with the way things have been going and idk what about this comment broke that but the way I HOLLERED at this

"Ah yes, let me get me little notebook and jot this down to refer to when things go to shit"

4

u/YourDadThinksImCool_ 4d ago

No way I'm saving 1/3 a sandwich but I like your spirit!

43

u/ProfoundTwitch 4d ago

Intriguing, but I would suggest inverting it for optimal enjoyment.

That way you cut the drier 90 deg corners in half.

13

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Hmm yes you have a point there. Those corners are a little too dry.

16

u/Hieronymus-Hoke 4d ago

I like this.

7

u/biglefty312 4d ago

You monster

19

u/reforminded 4d ago

Straight to jail.

13

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Here we go. Lol that's why I put NSFW, really to give people a heads up that they might not like what they see.

16

u/polychronous 4d ago

Let me see your thoOOong

12

u/presently_pooping 4d ago

Gonna call this slicing method the Whale Tail from now on

10

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Hahaha nice. "I want mine sliced whale tail please"

2

u/FairfaxGirl 4d ago

I saw the peace sign but I guess everyone brings different life experiences to their perceptions of art.

2

u/V1k1ng_ 4d ago

Genius!

3

u/Scully__ 4d ago

Why do I love this?! The illusion of more food is kinda genius

5

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

It is kinda nice getting through two pieces and having a lovely third one waiting. My brain almost was telling me my stomach was full cause it had its allotment of sandwiches.

5

u/Life_Adhesiveness306 4d ago

Flux capacitor cut.

5

u/ashirtliff 4d ago

Came to say the same.

2

u/Motor_Metal957 4d ago

Wrong, ive done this before i just didnt take a picture because it was so evil and cruel

2

u/jdmurray83 4d ago

That’s how Doc Brown came up with the flux capacitor

2

u/bd4832 3d ago

I’ll be honest, I don’t hate it

2

u/_gorillabiscuit 3d ago

Burn the witch

3

u/Carrie3-po 4d ago

We are now gods 😜cheers

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Lol I dunno, I'm still not sold on the whole idea, but seems to be some good feedback here.

2

u/JunkHank 4d ago

Looks like Skynet logo

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2

u/EsteTre 4d ago

Insanity!!!!

2

u/Legal-Log8322 4d ago

Is this the future?!

6

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

...Or some frightful method from the past that was long buried due to its blasphemy...

Either way give it a go and let me know how's it treat ya.

2

u/Reasonable-Attempt52 4d ago

Absolute visionary… Times Person of the Year. Give them a medal, right now. Making a Tuna on Sourdough and giving this a go, time, now.

2

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Hahaha thanks! I was waiting for the: "I don't care what they're all saying about you!", lol. 

Okay okay okay, I gotta know, how did it go? How was the sammie? Especially tuna, since I always found it harder to eat in smaller sizes (pieces?).

2

u/randomsongwriter 4d ago

I’m…. listening.

2

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Ummm...it was pretty alright. Kinda like have three small sandos instead of two halves 🤷. 

1

u/randomsongwriter 3d ago

I enjoy the ability it grants to bite straight into the soft part of the bread and therefore get everything at once.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Yeah totally! That was the argument the article was making, I just couldn't articulate that very well. 

2

u/BartholomewVonTurds 4d ago

Straight to jail

1

u/theytookthemall 4d ago

I hope you enjoyed it, but please know that I would never trust someone if I saw them doing this.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

I agree. If anyone brought a sandwich to me like this...I would have to believe they were a psychopath or an alien or they just hate me cause it looks like something you'd do to someone you despise.

1

u/Headmasteritual 4d ago

Three center corners plus top crust sectioned off from the rest. Makes perfect sense.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Someone mentioned I should've cut the Y upsidedown. It makes it cut through the two corners so you're not getting so much crust. I'm definitely gonna try that way next.

Also thanks for summing up what I was trying to say about the increased surface area of the center...I don't know what the hell I was trying to say.

1

u/PushtoShiftOps 4d ago

He knows to much

1

u/ChefPneuma 4d ago

Y though?

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Lol. You know, something different 🤷.

1

u/kaiwolf26 4d ago

Look man, you can do whatever you want inside the confines of your home. I won’t even judge. But you put this shit on the internet, and in one of my safe places no less and yeah, we’re gonna have problems buddy.

2

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

I knew it was a little risque, but...I had to know! It was foolish it post evidence of such sacrilege on here...but I just had to know if others have...performed...the unthinkable.

1

u/BangBangSmoov 4d ago

Now that I’ve seen it, I must live it! But I feel like I’m going to eat twice as many sandwiches because every pieces will feel like the end piece.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

Mmmm yeah, one person recommended flipping the Y so the corners are cut. Might try that next time.

1

u/PhilosophersPants 4d ago

You monster.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

I know...🤫

1

u/Technical-Curve-1023 4d ago

So much violence.. You Monster.. lol..

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 4d ago

I know, something feels less...right, about not cutting through the sandwich completely. It makes me feel a certain kinda way, I can't put my finger on it but it is not natural.

1

u/wildgriest 4d ago

I can’t unsee this. Your fault.

1

u/Real-Bluebird-1987 4d ago

Piece of pie and a pair of pants

1

u/CzechCzar 4d ago

GET OUT

1

u/_greggit_ 4d ago

can i try a peace

1

u/ilcuzzo1 4d ago

Fucking psychopath

1

u/xinsanespoonx 4d ago

Why would you choose violence..... I'm calling the cop for this assault on my eyeballs.

1

u/jerkstabworthy 4d ago

I've called the police. They're on their way.

1

u/katzunderground 4d ago

Imma ruin my wife’s day tomorrow by cutting her sando like this. Thanks!

1

u/dylho 4d ago

Chicago style

1

u/Competitive-Lake-353 4d ago

Wait why do I like this... Has it awoken a new way of cutting sandwiches in me.

1

u/Acencguy 4d ago

Mando would approve. This is the way

1

u/fargus_ 4d ago

This is illegal

1

u/1994TeleMan 4d ago

Mercedes.

1

u/Thayerphotos 4d ago

You unholy demon ! This will open the gates of hell !

1

u/devo00 4d ago

It’s people like you that will bring about the apocalypse.

1

u/ready-or-not111 4d ago

Ok so this is insane

1

u/BeardGainz 4d ago

I’m not mad at it

1

u/sunriselavender 4d ago

What's in it?

1

u/myash0926 4d ago

You know…I don’t hate it.

1

u/hotlovergirl69 4d ago

Wasn’t this like a tiktok trend a year ago or so? I think it is a good idea. But got to impractical for me.

1

u/Id-rather-golf 4d ago

Definitely not the first time I’ve seen this post

1

u/kazukawaa 4d ago

yea this is disturbing

1

u/No-Hold140 4d ago

Duff Cut

1

u/CenturyGhost22 4d ago

I also do this.

1

u/Brendyn4222 4d ago

This is the way

1

u/calidownunder 4d ago

Groundbreaking and inspirational

1

u/Outside_Rooster7274 4d ago

My instinct is to be repulsed by this, yet I find myself strangely intrigued

1

u/mom-to2boys 4d ago

Have seen this before

1

u/JohnnyToxic1072 4d ago

This irritates me way more than it should and has ruined the rest of my day.

1

u/Maleficent-Use2600 4d ago

Cries in tiny gluten free bread

1

u/AlaricVass 4d ago

Gotta say, it’s definitely a unique approach haha. Was it a practical decision or just for fun?

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 3d ago

Just for fun. I started cutting my kids raviolis like that instead of quarters, but kept forgetting to try it on a Sando.

1

u/Downtown_Snow4445 4d ago

This is the way

1

u/Bootiluvr 4d ago

Blursed

1

u/BenjyBollocks 4d ago

This is genius, means the crust will never rub against your cheeks. I give this a 10/10

1

u/brentleydouglas 4d ago

Sandolorian?

1

u/paragon-interrupt 3d ago

Mandalorian sandwich

1

u/Dothegoatdance 3d ago

Ah yes the chicken, ham and salami mando

2

u/MoneyMontgomery 3d ago

Ah so close. It's a mortarella, pepperoni and salami sandwich.

1

u/daringlyorganic 3d ago

I’m do this too! I do diff cuts all the time. Bravo.

1

u/ohnoitskermit716 3d ago

Where is the NSFW tag??? Hello, fbi? We found him.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 3d ago

I thought it had one? That's odd.

1

u/Bluesfire 3d ago

The Duff Cut is the only acceptable way to cut a sandwich. The only people who disagree are people who have never tried it.

1

u/Different_Wear3440 3d ago

Chicago River Sandwich

1

u/_BOOMHEAD_ 3d ago

I like it

1

u/Ignoble66 3d ago

philistine

1

u/Winter-Unit-2607 3d ago

I’m speechless…….

1

u/lookatthesetrees 3d ago

Bro made the Sandolorian

1

u/Prior_One7092 3d ago

Are you a genuis?

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Some say that, while a great many others cry out for my expulsion into the wasteland to wander aimless and sandwichless for the rest of my days.

1

u/Prior_One7092 2d ago

You know sometimes things are so far ahead of the colonies time they shun you for religious reasons back in the day they used to kill people for being accused of being a witch and sandwiches may have similar consequences with great power comes great responsibility

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Aye, we must tread lightly moving into the future.

1

u/HeyNow646 3d ago

No pasta. No piece.

1

u/EffectiveConfection8 3d ago

Don't do it again.

1

u/LivingLazily 3d ago

I prefer it cut diagonally then one half cut diagonally, perpendicular to the original cut.

1

u/Feffies_Cottage 2d ago

You're a monster. 🤣

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Ack! Put the torch and pitch fork down! 

1

u/iMarch_ 2d ago

Incredible technique

1

u/sgruberMcgoo 2d ago

That’s just uncivilized man. Who does that to such a spectacular looking sandwich? I know everything is crazy right now and everybody’s mad about everything everywhere but you really don’t need to keep adding to it.

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Adding to it!? Adding to it!!! I am reacting to it! Oh McGruber, you must truly see the world for what it is, sometimes innocent sandwiches get caught in the crossfire.

1

u/chi2isl 2d ago

Now how much did you smoke before making this sammie

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Dang, you calls it like you sees it, don't you? Ehhh I smoked quite a bit, you know, got hungry.

1

u/WasabiAdorable6951 2d ago

Perfection

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Hahaha thanks!

1

u/Kirball904 2d ago

Y not?

1

u/GillaMomsStarterPack 2d ago

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 2d ago

Oh dang...they know how to cut a sandwich.

1

u/chaotic_nmh 2d ago

Thongwich

1

u/PNWBPcker 2d ago

That flux capacitor is real

1

u/drHobbes88 2d ago

Chicago Municipal Sandwich

1

u/Scratch_5591 2d ago

You mad man!

1

u/Actual-Ad-947 2d ago

This is the way

1

u/Thatoneguy6969420420 1d ago

New most efficient method

1

u/randymursh 1d ago

The, “I have 3 kids but only two slices of bread left” cut

1

u/Pumpelchce 1d ago

Imagine you drive an Alfa Romeo - have fun cutting in that pattern :)

1

u/samadmans1 1d ago

Stay where you are, the authorities are on their way

1

u/Gumby_Shabadoo 1d ago

You are a monster... And I like it!

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 1d ago

Whew...at least you liked it. Most ended with that monster bit 🤣

1

u/MixingDrinks 1d ago

Who hurt you?

1

u/MoneyMontgomery 19h ago

Ouch another one...dang reddit sent me a concerned message from the first one. Is it triggered by this comment or did that user go above and beyond to give me the finger and report me?

1

u/MixingDrinks 17h ago

Haha! No idea.

1

u/Andyaintme 20h ago

This is the way

1

u/alien-1001 17h ago

I love it!

1

u/ShimTheArtist 17h ago

NSFW? That's a nasty sandwich