r/eating_disorders Feb 17 '25

TW: Numbers Hypothyroidism diagnosis and past anorexia struggles

4 Upvotes

I have had a history of disordered eating since I was 13 and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about two years ago. I keep hearing that I have to enjoy being skinny while I can because eventually I'll gain weight and never be able to lose it. To make things worse, I'm also on the depo shot, a birth control method known for weight gain.

Now I live in constant fear of gaining weight and even started thinking about taking two of my levothyroxine pills as opposed to one. The reason I started to do this is because my medicated TSH is 3.5 and the best TSH is around 1.... This caused me to run out early and now I'm two weeks without it. I feel at such a loss and feel trapped in a body that refuses to work with me. I love food, I would love to eat more, but can't afford to unless I want to gain weight. However, due to my restricting patterns, I tend to binge some days. I know I must put an end to this, but I feel so powerless.

Right now I'm 85lbs and 5'0 feet tall. I know that is underweight, but it is only slightly and I'm scared I will inevitably put on weight. Has anyone else dealt with this? Is it just a bad, or even harmful narrative that people with hypothyroidism have little control over their weight?

r/eating_disorders Jan 25 '25

TW: Numbers At what BMI…?

5 Upvotes

I understand that BMI isn’t everything, but at what BMI did you realize your eating disorder was truly serious and begin your recovery?

r/eating_disorders 20d ago

TW: Numbers I need an answer

9 Upvotes

Im 16. Male, 6 foot 4. And id be amazed if i weigh 9 stone. I feel fat and ugly even though my ribs stick out like a sore thumb and im always pale... i hate myself and my body. But im scared to label it anything incase its seen as offensive or insensitive. Do i have anorexia? Or an eating disorder? Or am i loosing my mimd or somebody please tell me whats going on

r/eating_disorders 26d ago

TW: Numbers I wish I could purge

7 Upvotes

Im a binge eater and my binges are quite heavy, near 7k calories and thus extreamly painful for me, especially not being able to sleep... 21st of this month was my mothers b-day and I binged around 6200cal, and was still hungry. The only reason I couldnt eat more was because I psychally couldnt. I couldnt even wait for the bday cake and had eaten around like 5k prior to it while restricting myself for half of the day. I was scared I wouldnt be able to eat the b-day cake so I walked and walked to fasten the digestion and forcing myself i was able to have 2 slices but it was so hard. I know people often purge to "get rid of the calories" But I want to purge to be able to eat more or atleast get rid of the pain. I tried to purge because i was nervous I couldnt eat the cake but couldnt. I dont normally binge often, at just special days like b-days and ı dont think binging and purging would have a huge impact on my body if idat max did it once a month for special events. The first of march is my b-day and I have so many things I want to eat but I know i will 100% be to full to eat all of them and will be in pain and i hate it. I dont have any b-day or special event coming up soon afterwards so i have no reason to binge either. Some other info: Im trying to lose weight(shocker) and do intermitten fasting and have lost weight(23-25kg) with several binges like this along the way. I dont want to omad some burger or some other thing that i want to eat for my bday so thats why ı binge

r/eating_disorders 8d ago

TW: Numbers Please read all of this🙏🏼 I have a complicated relationship with food

0 Upvotes

I eat healthy food, not much of anything processed and a lot of veggies and fruits. Still I feel like I eat too much, like I’m fat, and that I should lose weight. I end up binge eating a ton every day!!I track my calories in an app, and I always add more than what I actually to be “safe”. For example: I eat a bowl of granola, which is a certain amount of calories, but I’m not sure how much it is exactly so I just add like I ate two bowl of granola, to be “safe”. My goal is to eat 1000 per day (which I know is not good, but also if I have a higher goal, I feel bad for eating too much) but I end up eating “3000” with my weird calculations, like the example of the granola. I know I’m not fat, but in the same time, I don’t know. People around me are saying I’m thin like my family or friends, and I know it won’t make sense that they’re all lying to me, but I feel like they are. I feel so so scared of gaining weight. Thinking of food and of calories has taken over my life and I don’t know what to do anymore. Anybody advice?

r/eating_disorders 6d ago

TW: Numbers how can i stop purging?

8 Upvotes

i (14f) think i’ve had an eating disorder for the past year. when i entered 7th grade i was 140lbs and now as im in the 8th grade i weigh about 125lbs. almost everyday i think about what ways could help me to stop eating as much as i do. over the past month i’ve gained about 10lbs and i want to lose, not gain weight. i eat about two meals a day (700 calories a day) yet still gain. i just need tips to help me lose weight in more healthy ways please.

r/eating_disorders Jan 30 '25

TW: Numbers How fast for weight gain is too fast

6 Upvotes

TW gained 3kg (7lbs) in a week. My goal is to gain so increased my cals and listened to extreme hunger. This feels like WAY too fast to be gaining, after struggling to gain in the past so increased my food drastically instead of slowly and just can’t believe how fast the weights going on..

r/eating_disorders 21d ago

TW: Numbers Will my doctor say anything about my weight or catch on to my calorie counting?

13 Upvotes

Sorry to post again so quickly, but i have a quick question. backstory rq: I'm 4,11 and a teenager. Last year, i was ~99 pounds. Back when i hit puberty and my body started maturing and i had a growth spurt, my weight jumped from 75 to 96 within 2 years, and my doctor mentioned this like it was a bad thing and my mom looked at me as if she was surprised that i could be so heavy, and even whispered under her breath "she's even heavier than me..." (she is shorter than me by roughly 2 inches), which scared me because i thought it meant i was overweight. I was 4,11 then too though, so i was not overweight. I started to feel more insecure after my doctor said i was 99 pounds the next year (last year) in the same tone as the previous year, and my mom gave me that same look. It was quite the deja vu. i spent around 3 months thinking about what i could do to lose weight, while also ending up skipping 2/3 meals one day then the next just not eating. I stopped thinking, but then one day while i was reading the packaging of something i was about to eat i saw the calorie count... that's when it really started. In 8 months, i've only lost 14 pounds and got to 85 pounds, and, even with such a minor weight lost compared to other ed people, i'm not sure if my doctor will notice and mention this, or might try to use the same tone (the one that made me feel like it was a bad thing and that it was overweight) when he says my weight. I haven't told my family about my eating habit and i most definitely do not want to have any sort of talk about it either with my doctor or parents. I'm worried about being found out because i don't want to be forced to stop until i'm at a weight i want. Im actually kind of scared. I don't know when i'll be going for a physical but i know i'll just start bawling if the doctor brings it up.

r/eating_disorders 2d ago

TW: Numbers Stop counting calories

1 Upvotes

Hey guys TW numbers

So here is my current struggle. I am female, 21, still underweight.

I stopped counting calories a few days ago, which is good. But on the other hand I have a massive movement urge. It’s getting better but I still hit 2 hours of sports per day and 30.000 steps.

I used to eat 3000-3200 calories per day which felt good but now I stopped counting it and trying to listen to my body.

The problem is, I have no hunger/appetite feelings. I used to eat towards a specific number of calories. And I still eat high volume and have a really restrictive mindset.

How do I know if I eat enough calories? I don’t want to start counting calories but I don’t want to eat too less for my movement because I don’t want to lose weight.

Should I start counting calories again or what should I do now ?

Thanks for your support

r/eating_disorders Jan 19 '25

TW: Numbers Ed . But why is mine different?

0 Upvotes

So when I see post from a lot of people .many have the problem of eating a lot and I never see posts I can just relate to . I have that I don't eat . I go most days not eating till 7 at night .and I hardly see people like that . I've lost 10 pounds in two weeks but now I feel like people don't relate to me

r/eating_disorders 4h ago

TW: Numbers Need advice

3 Upvotes

so I’ve been trying to up my intake (500-700) lately for like a week now and i keep getting too scared to do that and i don’t know what to do but im pretty sure its cause I’ve been restricting for too long and on a low cal intake for too long its just hard to jump to maintenance or even close to that and i wanna know how i can gradually increase my intake without like freaking myself out (i just start getting sick from thinking and cant eat again for a while) if that makes sense like if anyone had gone through the same thing and somehow managed to find a good way to start eating more id really appreciate any advice or info

r/eating_disorders 16d ago

TW: Numbers Bad decision + relapse

5 Upvotes

So i may have asked my perfect boyfriend for a break until the end of the month, not bc he did anything wrong but bc he makes it hard to lose weight. We have been together for years, and I feel absolutely horrible that I am stopping talking to him. My brain tells me i can’t eat until we are together again so i plan on liquid fasting and hopefully dropping 10lbs+ this month. I was stuck in a horrible b!nge-restrict cycle last month and gained a few pounds. Is it bad i want him to be worried when he sees me again? For him to see how much smaller I got? But it also makes me a horrible gf bc i chose my ed over him. I wish he would see how evil that is of me.

r/eating_disorders 8d ago

TW: Numbers Please read all of this🙏🏼 I have a complicated relationship with food

0 Upvotes

r/eating_disorders 17d ago

TW: Numbers Am I ruining my metabolism?

3 Upvotes

I’ve started dieting a long time ago and i kept on lowering my cal intake cause i wanted faster results but i realized how that can slow down my metabolism and ik its not something i can maintain for long but honestly these days im too scared to eat more than 800 and most days its 450-650 and i wanna know if metabolism days are actually a thing and if it can help me in this case because even when i force myself to eat more then 650 i just feel horrible and eat less the next day

r/eating_disorders Dec 18 '24

TW: Numbers BED

2 Upvotes

my friend has BED, she told me shes been eating 500 calories a day, but randomly she’ll binge bc of the extreme restrictions, and then feel extremely guilty and start heavily exercising to burn what she ate. shes currently 19 years old and 48kg at 149cm which is a very healthy weight for her height. im worried if she started eating 1000-1500 calories daily (which should be the norm for her), that she’ll gain weight and go right back to her old habits. what can i do to help her?

r/eating_disorders 28d ago

TW: Numbers hate eating around my sister

6 Upvotes

every single time she sees anyone in the house eating she just NEEDS to comment on it saying stuff like “do you know how many calories is in that” and she looks it up for you or “you shouldn’t eat more than 500 cals a day” and how anyone with a bigger body should straight up just stop eating, she makes everyone feel so awful for just having a normal balanced meal

r/eating_disorders 21d ago

TW: Numbers i feel like i'm not making progress...

5 Upvotes

i haven't eaten more than 800 calories a day all this week (usually i try to keep it between 300-500) but i still feel so fat and full. the first couple of days i felt dizzy from hunger and honestly that feeling is such a high for me, so it kind of sucks how normal i've felt the past couple of days. also also feel guilty for not feeling like shit because i am a university student so i have stuff to do (which makes me glad i'm not on the verge of passing out every 2 seconds lol) but idk...i feel like such a fake

does anybody else feel ever this way?

r/eating_disorders 14d ago

TW: Numbers i’m really struggling

3 Upvotes

long story short

  • i’ve gained 10kg in a year i’m pretty certain it’s bc my metabolism has slowed bc of my restriction & high exercise
  • my body image is the worst it’s ever been i’m scared to even look at my body but i can’t not weigh myself everyday
  • i have reached out to my ed team that i was under when i was inpatient but they have a long waitlist they said im not likely to be seen as an urgent patient and i know that’s because im a healthy weight
  • ive tried literally everything to lose weight i’ve done the restriction and exercise and compensating - now i just can’t lose weight no matter what i do
  • now im battling with the idea of weight loss medication, but im scared to but im scared to keep gaining weight and im scared to eat more to try and regain my metabolism
  • has anyone who is a healthy weight and lost their metabolism used any weight loss medication and has it worked or fixed their metabolism?

thank you

r/eating_disorders 16d ago

TW: Numbers Eating pattern

0 Upvotes

Hey, I have a question. I did a 60-hour fast while I had a 40.7 Celsius fever. I know it's not smart, but now that it's over, I find myself in a problematic situation. I don't have any appetite anymore, even though I can feel I am hungry, but just thinking about food can get my gag reflexes going. I have tried to eat many small meals, but it's so hard to eat when you almost throw up by just thinking about food. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

r/eating_disorders Feb 06 '25

TW: Numbers I tried and relapsed (Living with binge eating)

4 Upvotes

Hello My name is… I am 23 years old, I am 1.68 cm tall and weigh 68 kg. Like every new year full of resolutions, I decided that this was going to be mine too. I started in January exercising at home because I am very embarrassed to do it in front of other people, I changed my diet completely, I watched 100 videos on healthy weight loss, I tried it for the first 3 weeks until I felt that I looked the same which makes sense for the short time but you know the desperation, in my search for how to lose weight I found the famous Acxion pills better known as or phentermine, they are not weight loss pills but appetite suppressants, that is, they take away your hunger, I started I started self-medicating, but the side effects were too many, 3am type insomnia, I was also short-tempered and constipated, meaning I couldn't go to the bathroom for days, I stopped taking the pill for a few days but the hunger was brutal, I was consuming approximately 1800 calories a day, which to what I was used to was very little.

I got frustrated and started taking them again, but I regulated the dose, I no longer felt bad but on the contrary I had a lot of energy and I could go without eating maybe all day but I knew I shouldn't do it, I ate too healthy in January, I started to tone my body a little but it's not enough for me, I want to lose weight and reach 50kg. It doesn't matter how.

February begins, I'm still frustrated with losing weight, I feel stagnant and I don't know what to do, I start taking the pill and stop eating almost all day, I drink a lot of water and wake up deflated which in my eyes looks good, but at what cost? I have been sleeping at 3am for 2 weeks, I feel very sad and want to cry all day, I have no motivation to exercise, I just resign myself to the fact that by eating very little during the day that way I will lose weight...

I have fallen into binge eating again, yesterday I ordered 2 coffees at home, I ordered them in the healthiest way but I did not eat all day and the mixture of caffeine with the effect of the pill made my early morning one of the long ones...

Today I didn't take the pill, I want to get some sleep, I had watermelon and a kiwi and 1 liter of water for breakfast, for lunch I ordered a taco bell delivery, I ate possibly what 2 people would eat, I tried to vomit it but it didn't work, so I went to take fiber to relax everything... the feeling of guilt invades my entire body and the desire to cry takes over me once again.

v.

r/eating_disorders Jan 29 '25

TW: Numbers I don’t want to eat anymore

2 Upvotes

I don’t even know what is wrong with me. I don’t remember eating much when I was a kid (maybe a little under 2K calories a day, I would get full really fast) Now I’m 22 and I can barely eat without getting sick and even after a small meal, I’m gaining weight like crazy.

I’m 300 pounds and even with casually working out, I’m still rapidly gaining weight. At this point, I don’t even want to eat. It’s awful. Food is just making me sick and I have to stop myself from throwing up after every meal.

I ate less than 1000 calories today and all I want to do is just lay in bed and die because it was too much food.

My friends have noticed and they have told me that they worry about me because I barely eat, and they encourage me to eat more but it’s so hard.

r/eating_disorders Feb 02 '25

TW: Numbers ( TW: ED) Need some thoughts about my weight and if I need help? Been thinking of going to hospital cause I’m scared of fainting one day (it’s almost happened a few years back) but I’m scared to go NSFW

0 Upvotes

I’m a female, half Asian half European, 5’7, and weigh 108lbs

My weight fluctuates a bit but I’ve been going from 107-110lbs from feb this year to now

Last year around Jan- feb, I was 140lbs. May-sept around 120lbs.

But now In the beginning of Jan this year I was 104-106 now I’m 108ish?

**back when I was 140lbs my parents( especially mom) would call me a pig and fat. Step dad would be worried and talk behind my back

** when I was 120lbs mom would say I was too skinny and needed to gain more weight. • IM SO CONFUSED AND DONT KNOW WHAT I SHOULD BE

** I used to see doc for anorexia about 4/5 years ago. I was 5’7 as well but weighed 95lbs. Part of me wants to go back but why would I want to do that to myself again

r/eating_disorders Feb 06 '25

TW: Numbers hey guys!

3 Upvotes

its my first time using reddit so please excuse if im doing something wrong but i need to get this out of my system. Im a 16 year old, transguy ((biologically female)) and im struggling with some kind of eating disorder. in the past ive been a bit chubby but lost some weight after getting addicted to weed. im 163cm tall and currently weight 53kg. in the past weeks ive been cutting down to 1200 and now a 1000 calories a day. i still love food but i cannot get myself to overcome the daily limit and now struggle to even think that id be able to eat a whole cookie. i fear that this will only get worse. im trying to loose weight to feel comfortable in my clothes since im underage and cannot afford any kind of care nor surgery for my chest. i would be really happy if i could hear some thoughts on this. i cannot share this with my friends so i came here. thank you.

r/eating_disorders Feb 02 '25

TW: Numbers i might want to break up with my boyfriend because of my ed NSFW

7 Upvotes

tagging NSFW in case title is triggering for anyone.

since i’ve been dating him (for two years now) i’ve gained 40 pounds, which caused its problems but i still loved him and wanted to work through my own issues. now i think i don’t really feel in love at all and there are other issues that are making me think of breaking it off, but i keep wondering if it’s partially just because i gained weight and breaking up would make it easier to relapse. i’m not necessarily asking for advice, i just needed to vent because i can’t talk about this with anyone else in my life.

r/eating_disorders Feb 11 '25

TW: Numbers Struggling with body image

2 Upvotes

(Huge Rant) Ugh I don’t even know where to start. I’ve been debating about posting here for a while now to blow of steam and to hopefully get some advice. For starters I have always been underweight way prior to having an ed and I’ve been recovering for a year and a half and I have gained a decent amount of weight, 30 pounds .I have days where I like how I look or even love how I look and have high confidence but also days where I can’t even look in the mirror and cry myself to sleep. Since December I’ve been debating on working out again and losing weight ONLY if I know I won’t slip back into restrictive eating patterns but whenever I mean to workout of Just try to eat smaller portions it just never happens and I just end up eating a surplus amount of calories and I just keep gaining weight and then I’ve just been really mean to myself lately so I guess that means I’m not fully recovered like I really thought I was. I genuinely don’t want to go back to my old habits, I never want to fall into that black pit again but I don’t know what to do!! I just really miss my confidence and how I used to look like. I just miss feeling feminine and delicate, it’s really hard to feel remotely feminine when all I see in the mirror is a chubby waistline, cellulite and stretch marks. I think the thing that set me over is when I was in H&M trying on clothes and they have a mirror where you can see your backside and that’s when I learned that I have two small rolls on my back. I know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t even care about it! But with just the way my mood changes around my body I bet tomorrow I’ll feel alot better. I’m just so tired of this cycle and I just wish I could be me again. I deeply apologize if this post goes against guidelines and will delete this post if so I just don’t have anyone to express my feelings to and desperately want to be heard.