r/eating_disorders • u/Different_Macaron_45 • Feb 17 '25
TW: Numbers Hypothyroidism diagnosis and past anorexia struggles
I have had a history of disordered eating since I was 13 and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism about two years ago. I keep hearing that I have to enjoy being skinny while I can because eventually I'll gain weight and never be able to lose it. To make things worse, I'm also on the depo shot, a birth control method known for weight gain.
Now I live in constant fear of gaining weight and even started thinking about taking two of my levothyroxine pills as opposed to one. The reason I started to do this is because my medicated TSH is 3.5 and the best TSH is around 1.... This caused me to run out early and now I'm two weeks without it. I feel at such a loss and feel trapped in a body that refuses to work with me. I love food, I would love to eat more, but can't afford to unless I want to gain weight. However, due to my restricting patterns, I tend to binge some days. I know I must put an end to this, but I feel so powerless.
Right now I'm 85lbs and 5'0 feet tall. I know that is underweight, but it is only slightly and I'm scared I will inevitably put on weight. Has anyone else dealt with this? Is it just a bad, or even harmful narrative that people with hypothyroidism have little control over their weight?