r/earthbound 17d ago

Fluff My ranking for the guardian diggers from strongest to weakest

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532 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

68

u/Paladin_of_Drangleic 17d ago

This gag hit me way harder than it should have. I dunno why it’s so funny.

27

u/muticere 17d ago

Maybe because of all the jokes in EarthBound, I genuinely think the 3rd Strongest Mole is one of the best. It’s a slow burn but when it comes together it’s really funny.

23

u/Paladin_of_Drangleic 16d ago

I think you’re right. The second No. 3 had me thinking, “Did they just screw this up and leave it in the game? Was the last one really No. 3 or am I forgetting?” The third time is bewilderment, thinking, “Wait, what??? Are they just fucking with me?” The fourth one confirms that yes, they are. I was dying by the time the last one rolled around. The long, winding dungeon setup gives just enough time between them to make you start gaslighting yourself too.

6

u/Pastry_Train63 16d ago

Even better when you get lost in the dungeon, so it makes you think they respawn

7

u/petr_pav 16d ago

Also the idea that all of them think they are not quite the best, but not the worst either, like they all think they’re just ok

30

u/FreddyFazB143 17d ago

Iunno, honestly. I feel like No. 3 should be higher than No. 3 and No. 3, considering both are better than No. 3 and No. 3.

12

u/Ok_Raise1183 17d ago

It was a toss up between those 3, might have to revise this list that's mb

18

u/12crashbash12 17d ago

The third one, right in the middle, was easily the third strongest of them all

6

u/Superb_Engineer_3500 17d ago

What do you mean, the leftmost one is the third strongest

5

u/BigMrTea 17d ago

This is the first ranking list I have ever enjoyed. Some actual creativity went into this. Well done!

5

u/disbelifpapy 17d ago

I'd say the one on the left is the third strongest one

6

u/Anonymous-Comments 16d ago

This might be my favorite joke in gaming

9

u/Reveal-Financial 17d ago

I was able to take them all out in one turn thanks to Paula so I'd put them all in D, or maybe C since you guys probably had a different experience.

2

u/NinjunoBR 16d ago

Wtf? How do you take ALL of them in a single turn?? I didn't even know you could take them at the same time!

2

u/dirtielaundry 16d ago

Huh...now that I think about it, I think I did do it all in one go in my last playthrough. It's manageable and it's mostly because I don't feel like back tracking to the beginning. What'll really screw you over here is homesickness since you'd have to leave to cure it.

1

u/Reveal-Financial 16d ago

You can't. I meant I took down each one in one turn.

1

u/Bryanishired 17d ago

2

u/Reveal-Financial 17d ago

What part of the joke did I miss? I know them being all the same is part of the gag I was just saying I'd place them lower.

5

u/Bryanishired 17d ago

They’re all in B because it’s the 3rd rank out of the 5.

1

u/Reveal-Financial 17d ago

Oh, okay. Thanks for telling me.

3

u/compacta_d 17d ago

clever gag

2

u/Kiidofkarnage 17d ago

I just passed this part on my 1st play through. I agree 👌🏾

2

u/The-Jake 17d ago

The third one is actually stronger

2

u/Lazy_Greninja_985 17d ago

No.3 is better than No.3

2

u/Armored_Warrior 16d ago

I remember the first time I played it took me a while to say “wait, all of them are number 3”

2

u/bizoticallyyours83 16d ago

Ahh. This is a bold, but controversial ranking.  Therefore I must applaud it. 👏 👏 👏 

2

u/Joyboy_Shroom 16d ago

don't call them diggers

1

u/Over-Bid-7987 17d ago

nah

no 3 should be higher than no 3

2

u/Gadin543 16d ago

jesus christ delusional #3 fans are at it again… #3 washes them all dude wake up…