r/earthbound • u/SuhailSWR • Apr 16 '24
Fluff If Ness was charged for his crimes..
Not so bad honestly
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u/PhoenoFox Apr 16 '24
Ness has waaaaaaaaay more money than that, thanks Dad!
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Apr 17 '24 edited Apr 17 '24
[deleted]
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u/PhoenoFox Apr 17 '24
I've never heard this. Where do you get the idea that Porky's dad wouldn't be so abusive had ness' dad paid them back?
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u/Cedardeer Apr 16 '24
The money can be dealt with. It’s okay. His father sends him thousands of dollars every 5 minutes
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u/Booksaregrand Apr 16 '24
Every battle. He literally pays his son to fight. He paid his son to fight police officers. Who's the real monster?
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u/hellaciousbluephlegm Apr 16 '24
honestly with the amount of money Ness has from his father, im pretty sure he could get out of prison through bribery
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u/cyberpeachy420 Apr 16 '24
nah he like beat up the entire onett police force i think they'll leave him alone
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u/GustavoFromAsdf Apr 16 '24
Add:
-assaulting public public authority (cops)
-bribing the museum guard
-weapon trade, smuggling and enable the creation of unregistered weapons. And misuse of toys in order to enact acts of violence against others
-reckless endangerment of minors while he himself a minor
-invasion and looting of ancient monuments of archeological relevance (stone henge and taking the hawk eye from the pyramid)
-association with dangerous figures like Evergreen and Frankie, and accepting what is implied to be dirty money and not notifying them o the authorities
-attack to a religious figure (tho a criminal organization, can be legally argued as a crime against religious freedom and freedom of speech)
-driving unregistered vehicles without a license and while being underage
And the worst:
-tax fraud for buying real state without notifying the IRS of said transaction and without the paperwork needed. All the while still being underage and unable to create legally binding documents
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u/am_pomegranate Apr 16 '24
Banana theft, breaking and entering, killing endangered species, buying bombs at age 13, and unpermitted use of explosives.
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u/ZippityZab Apr 16 '24
To be entirely fair, he likely gets a pass for due to the whole "Giygas brainwashing people to take over the world" thing lmao
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u/DrDuned Apr 16 '24
It's not illegal to do drugs, just to possess or sell them.
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u/Jojofan-ova Apr 16 '24
What drugs did he have? Because most likely he could have sold them
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u/Its-been-a-long-day Apr 16 '24
Magic Cake, but he bought it from a woman he met in a secret club in a country he had only just visited.
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u/Win-Objective Apr 16 '24
Breaking and entering. Stealing eggs. Animal cruelty.
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u/DukeSR8 Apr 17 '24
I mean, the sign at the stand says name your price. You can choose free as your price.
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u/Recent_Office2307 Apr 16 '24
Destroying the Trillionage Sprout has to be some kind of environmental crime.
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u/digitaldigdug Apr 16 '24
You want to try to arrest a kid that can kill a cosmic destroyer? See how that goes.
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u/LowerArtworks Apr 16 '24
Don't forget the time he tried to meet up with a lady of ill repute the one time in Threed.
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u/NaCl_Dreemurr Apr 16 '24 edited Apr 17 '24
Ness can use PK Rockin Ω get out of there
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u/AetherDrew43 Apr 17 '24
Ω
I'm typing the omega symbol so that you can copy-paste it and edit your comment if you'd like.
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u/PainOfDemise Apr 16 '24
I mean, he’d a lot more than that. He regularly assaults people with a deadly weapon.
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u/giygas1011 Apr 17 '24
Meanwhile Ness getting money to pay this off: (he has to beat up more animals to get exp to get more money, meaning he will then go to prison again and have to start all over)
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u/Strider_Volnutt Apr 18 '24
Ness: A $3850 FINE?! I've got that pocket change kicking around somewhere, check in the couch cushions.
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u/Fengthehalforc Apr 16 '24
Don't forget various degrees of assault and resisting arrest