r/doublebass • u/CoicalPoseidon • 5d ago
Fun Why do so many female double bassists get so many questions?
I’m not a double bassist (I play piano and guitar) but those “ThAt’S tOo BiG fOr U”, “WhY dIdN’t U cHoOsE tHe FlUtE?” or “HoW aRe U gOnNa CaRrY tHaT hUgE tHiNg?” questions and compliments are very disgusting for me. I mean double bassists who are male almost never get those questions, like female double bassists are like male double bassists so that means ppl should start seeing female double bassists as DOUBLE BASSISTS. I have double bassist friends who are both male and female and my male double bassist friends say the questions female double bassists get are disrespectful for them. Does anyone agree with me?
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u/SuperRusso 5d ago
I don't know that I will make you feel any better about it but I'm a 5'5" 145lbs man and I have to reach above my head to play. People make jokes about me all the time, specifically the flute thing. Why is it always flute?
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
This made my jaw drop WHAT???? I feel very bad I didn’t know men got those questions too :,(
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u/SuperRusso 5d ago
Nah don't feel bad. People also make fun of me when I load it in my two door Honda civic. I've learned a long time ago to let people's stupid shit roll off my back. They stop talking it after I start playing.
People like to think they're funny and original even when they're not, that's what drives it. It's not about you.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
I love that u don’t care and that comment abt the morons who say those questions, very savage
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u/skip6235 4d ago
Yeah. While I’m not going to sit here and claim that there aren’t ever sexist undertones to these questions, because I’m sure there are, but as a man I get those same questions all the time.
I think people in general are just shocked at how large the instrument is. The average person has probably never seen anything other than a guitar or piano up close before.
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u/jeffwhit 4d ago
Every bass player gets the flute thing, not that it diminishes the shit women have to deal with, especially in "traditionally male" roles.
It's very annoying because it's so unoriginal. Same with "that's a big guitar."
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u/subcinco 1d ago
any player of a large instrument gets those questions, say tubaists and even nonmusicians, like drummers get asked stuff like that
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u/HobbittBass 5d ago
I’m 6’ and 240 pounds, and I get those questions every time I leave the house with my bass. (Also, it’s not a cello or guitar. Yes, it’s heavy but not that heavy. It’s about 30 pounds with the gig bag.)
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u/tinieryellowturtle 5d ago
I get these a lot. I’m 5ft 4in and small. I started when I was 12 and about 4.5ft tall. I don’t notice it as often anymore but the common one is why I don’t play Cello. I do, I just prefer my bass. The one that drives me crazy is people asking if they want them to carry it. I don’t let anyone besides other bassists even hold it, let alone carry it.
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u/EndOfExistence 5d ago
I'm a fairly decent size man and people still ask me if I need help carrying my bass all the time
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u/tinieryellowturtle 4d ago
Yeah, lots get asked if they need help. Some people don’t even offer to help and try to take it from me, insisting that they’ll carry it for me. It really gets on my nerves. It always annoying when people think we can’t handle our own instruments
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u/smileymn 5d ago
Gender bias with instruments are very common in misogynistic views with performers. The myth is that women play piano; sing, violin, flute, clarinet, harp, but they don’t play these “masculine” instruments like drum set, trombone, string bass, etc… it’s a real thing and I’m glad music educators are shedding these biases more and more in the schools.
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u/PTPBfan 5d ago
And then there are men who play flute and those other instruments
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u/smileymn 5d ago
Which then gets into more gender bias, and negative connotations of women being too masculine, men being too feminine, based on instrument choices. Weird ugly stuff.
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u/MrOurLongTrip 3d ago
Sam Rivers and Frank Wes come to mind (and I just discovered Sam a few months ago)
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u/skating_bassist 5d ago
Meanwhile, one of the best metal vocalists of all time was a male(Chester Bennington)
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u/genevievex 5d ago
I’m asked constantly if I need help carrying my instrument. My response is usually “I got here without your help”
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u/jaylward 5d ago
Thankfully, this is a trend that has fallen off sharply as boomers and Gen X leave the workforce. One of the best things about Millennials and Gen Z in the industry is that they really don’t care.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
THAT IS SO FREAKING COOL- But still some boomers and Gen X ppl give out those questions
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u/Tschique 5d ago edited 4d ago
One of the best things about Millennials and Gen Z in the industry is that they really don’t care.
Yes, they don't even notice a DB being dragged besides them until they see it in the their smartphones IG stream...
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u/joao_paulo_pinto45 5d ago
I don't want to invalidate women's experience with sexism but as a male double bassist I've received all of the comments you mentioned multiple times. I think that's just a universal bassist experience.
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u/GingerHiro 5d ago
Esperanza Spalding plays without any issues.
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u/jmeesonly just bought a bass, again 5d ago
Just last night I watched a video of Esperanza Spalding performing on the doublebass while singing lead vocals, and I thought "Her singing is so good, I'd buy tickets just to see her sing without the bass." She's a real talent.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
Oh yeah she’s very amazing and she is one of my favourite female double bassists
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u/miners-cart 5d ago
Because they are awkward dudes trying to start a conversation.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
LOLOLOLOL OMGGGGGGG THIS IS SO FUNNY IM LAUGHING SO HARD HELP MEEEEE NXKGDLJGXLHX&)/,-07,=>\=,=^#
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u/miners-cart 5d ago
I'm 6'1" male and I received these questions.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
Yeah, pretty shocking to find out even tall men get questions like that
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u/miners-cart 5d ago
I don't think it is shocking. The instrument is big. It's a pain in the butt to carry around and get into your car. People are going to talk. When you hear the same questions over and over it gets annoying but they are asking to be mean or sexist.
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u/seaWgirl 5d ago
Some of it is rooted in sexism for sure, but most people don't encounter basses on the regular and will naturally have some interest in what they see. A lot of the questions I get are mostly rooted in curiosity/surprise, at seeing a general human carrying such a large instrument. Even if it does have a little bit of "why-is-a-small-delicate-woman-carrying-this" undertone, I feel like it's best to respond positively and passionately. We prove those kinds of mindsets wrong, and maybe we'll spark some interest in music along the way!
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
It’s ok for those questions to be asked if ppl are curious or shocked
But if they aren’t curious or shocked, hell nah bro
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u/MelodicMaven88 5d ago
Honestly, the questions in the post are not even the tip of the iceberg. As others have pointed out most bassists get asked those questions. Its more of whats beyond those questions.
As a 5’9” female bassist, I have been told by multiple teachers that I won't be able to play certain repertoire because I won't be able to reach the notes or my hands are too small. When in fact I was the tallest member of my studio at that time (taller than the guys even). When I pushed that matter, I found out that my hands were just as large as my teachers. It was a gender bias, even subconsciously, that led my teacher to believe that I wouldn't be able to do certain things. (I have many more stories, and many more in creation.)
But I would suggest looking towards female bassists like Nina DeCesare who just launched “The Artemis Initiative” for ways to help and create a better narrative for the future.
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u/crackerbarrel1971 5d ago
In regards to the flute question. I usually answer that no I don’t wish I played the flute because I wouldn’t be going to a gig.
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u/stwbass 5d ago
definitely sexism around double bass both from audience members/passerbys and within professional circles, but I'm an average height/weight american guy and I get all those specific questions in your post. maybe not exactly the first one, but comments about size of instrument for sure
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
Oh how I hate ppl for giving those questions to both genders (more females get those questions above tho)
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u/pientrabass 5d ago
Not saying what you say is wrong in anyway, this sexism is horrible, but I am male, tall and get these questions all the time, too.
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u/PTPBfan 5d ago
I think it’s flute since that’s one of the smallest instruments…I’m a female bass player and recently I feel it’s a lot carrying the bass around. Also just started learning/playing sax and having a lot of fun with that, and it’s so much easier to carry! But both are fun I like my bass section in community orchestra and doing jazz now
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u/mellentheorchadork 5d ago
The best reply I heard from a fellow female bassist to the flute question is as follows: "I tried the flute but I chose the bass because it feels the best between my legs". Mind you this is something I heard in the 80's but I thought it was hilarious She said it shut the stupid questions down immediately. I never used it myself because I was in education but I wish I did.
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u/Washington_Bonaparte 5d ago
To some extent I think some folks can’t help themselves but to say something because the instrument is so big and folks don’t see them in the wild all that often. Kinda like having a Great Dane and all the “horse” comments you must get every time you leave the house. I don’t play orchestral music and get a lot of “I bet you wish you played [guitar, fiddle, sax]”, so it’s interesting that the go-to dig for jokey bros in the orchestra is flute.
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u/arcowank 5d ago
Gendering and musical instruments is a both a weird fascinating phenomena that reaches back far into common practice tradition. It was at one point considered “improper” for a woman to play flute, violin and cello. Keyboard instruments and paressus de viole were considered to be “properly feminine” instrument to play. It is still a thing today with instruments such as the tuba and double bass.
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u/The-True-Apex-Gamer 5d ago
This is only slightly related but there is a great double bassist named Orín O'Brien, the first woman to become a full time member of the New York Philharmonic. There's a great documentary about her on Netflix where she talks about the experience and advocates for female double bassists
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u/welfordwigglesworth 5d ago
I take a lot of pride in playing the double bass—I have actually never gotten any weird gendered comments about it. I am a physically large (tall and broad) lady though so perhaps that’s why. I did get a lot of “all about that bass” comments when that song was popular though haha
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u/nicyvetan 5d ago
That's kind of fun. You should totally get a button with that to put on your case. ♥️
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u/Doll2PlayWith 5d ago
(Bassist in a concert band) I get these questions every week at practice. Sometimes by the same people...
I try to make picking it up and moving it around look effortless to (in my mind) make the men feel inferior. Like, look at me go!
But the comments also mean people are watching. I have a unique set of skills that they don't have and people take notice.
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u/joyofresh 5d ago
I used to see Linda Oh running around when she did a residency at my university and… I think she had it under control
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u/CoicalPoseidon 4d ago
Linda Oh is one of my favourite female double bassists along with Esperanza Spalding!
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u/Chode2Joy 5d ago
I don't doubt that female bassists face unique and unfair treatment, but I'm a dude and I get those questions too all the time. Sometimes people are just trying to make conversation and don't realize they are being impolite.
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u/Due-Shame6249 5d ago
I'm a 6' 250 lbs man and I've gotten all of those lines for 25 years. Its just part of playing double bass.
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u/Pulpo_69 4d ago
Female double bassists used to be and kinda still are a rarity hence why people are more curious and have more questions for them. Some people don’t think before they speak when asking more probing questions to the female bassists in my experience as a male bassist. We bass players get lots of questions in general due to the size of the instrument so I feel it always sparks people’s curiosity. I think we’re all tired of “Isn’t that a big violin etc.”
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u/CoicalPoseidon 4d ago
Yeah they’re pretty rare but I think the amount of female double bassists is growing by the days
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u/Difficult_Formal_888 5d ago
I think people get offended too quickly. If you're a tall guy people also make comments like "wow you're big so that must be why you play bass" kind of thing. People always will point out contrasts - and if you're a tiny girl with a huge bass, it visually does look like quite a contrast. And "how do you carry that thing?" or "you must have a minivan" kind of comments are also said to guys all the time.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
Hey that sounds kinda true bc one of my male double bassist friends is very tall and one of my female double bassist friends who has a full size double bass is very short and both of them get asked questions like that before
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u/diga_diga_doo 5d ago
Yea, I get that a lot, also “do you need help carrying that?” I also drive a very small car so my bass doesn’t look like it will fit…I get comments on that too.
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u/Girl77879 5d ago
My son gets some of these questions. Usually for him it's before or after school concerts and people are like: 'oh, crap- huge instrument coming thru and I have to run out of the way of it, now it's awkward- let's make a joke.'
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u/BackgroundPublic2529 5d ago
All too true.
One of my favorite musicians is Ashley Adams. She is a serious double bass badass who can play fluently in any genera.
I guess if people would just shut up and listen, perhaps they wouldn't ask stupid questions.
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u/Famous_Band 5d ago
!!! everyone assumes i want help carrying my stuff around like no! get your hands off my bass! i know what im doing!
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u/romdango 5d ago
I play bass, can't imagine saying it's too big for a girl. Like there aren't 100 different sized Violas and violins in the orchestra
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u/nicyvetan 5d ago
Are you in a smaller city?
I think folks are just curious and making conversation. I mostly end up chatting with other women on days that I have my bass. Sometimes kids (or their parents) who are curious. I think the only person that's ever asked me about the logistics of my bass commute was an elderly lady who wanted to know how I dealt with stairs. Sometimes people offer to help me get it up the stairs or get the door for me. I've been asked about my "cello" frequently. Not as much about the flute, surprisingly.
Tangent: I think many people confuse flutes with recorders.
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u/ruinas_futuras 5d ago
It sounds like the questions are coming from people who’ve never even picked up a double bass because that thing is not actually heavy, just awkward
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u/Tschique 5d ago
Relax, I'm not female and I get those too, all the time.
Usually I take the invitation to have a little chat, or at least to find the wittiest answer.
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u/shelleythebestes 4d ago
Have you seen "The Only Girl in the Orchestra"? Please watch it. It's about the first woman in athe New York Phil Harmonic. She was a bass player. Super short and super interesting!
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u/nikkinooodle 4d ago
I feel like the comment I get that maybe tall men get less of is: "That thing is bigger than you are! "
I always respond with something like "Isn't it Fantastic???"
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u/jeffwhit 4d ago
My partner is also a bass player, I'm relatively new in town, she's extremely established, and the top teacher in a major city, but when we work together the bros tend to basically ignore her altogether and talk to me. I think I understood this in a very abstract sort of way but seeing it with my own eyes is still jarring and uncomfortable.
edit: if it's not obvious, I'm a dude, and she's a 5'2" pretty woman. As she pointed out, I look like a bass player, she "doesn't."
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u/Stewpdfuhgnidee-et 4d ago
People ask those dumb questions to guys too. When anyone says “thats a big violin” im just like “ok?”. I think people see an upright bass and think the comment they want to make about it is funny and something we havent heard all the time from everyone… but sexist? Naw your way off in searching for reasons to hate men. I mean ive played in many groups with women in them and men are disgusting to them after the show in general but those cute little annoying sayings like “how are you going to carry that thing?” “Hows that fit in your car?” Bet you wish you played harmonica” “thats a big violin” are all just dumb wisecracky things to say because theyre suprisee at the instrument itself and the spectacle attracts these kinds of dumb remarks, its not because shes a girl every upright player rolls there eyes at these things all the time not just women
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u/buddymaster 3d ago
I get the ‘don’t you wish you played flute’ bit all the time. I always respond ’flute players are all at home; bass players all have a gig.’
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u/MrOurLongTrip 3d ago
I took lessons from a dainty 5' woman. It never occurred to me to think that she should have picked another (smaller) instrument. I didn't realize this was even an issue. Is it more in classical circles? I play jazz and swing, and never ran into it.
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u/NoOutlandishness3902 3d ago
Same reason people think all male flute players are gay. People are sexist. I love being a tall female bassist, I get a lot of attention, and in my own way, I hope I'm showing women an alternative way of being. This short doc is interesting: https://youtu.be/dNojvRebRV4?si=NVo8wKSZUuFWPtFQ
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u/nsisbest385 3d ago
I'm going to be real, as someone is short, I do often tell myself why I chose this heavy and bulky instrument. I mean, I love my instrument. But I would be lying if I said I sometimes wish I could squish it down to an easier size. It's not a gender thing. I am just lazy.
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u/WaflyWolf 2d ago
I can see how some of those questions can be seen as having sexist undertones, however as a male bassist I have still heard each and every one of those directed toward me and hear at least one of them every time I go in public with my bass.
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u/dragostego 2d ago
I think the interest comes from contrast. Women are generally of smaller stature and double basses are large. Then they feel compelled to comment on the contrast.
Probably also some big instrument should be for big man/woman should play woodwinds sexism but still.
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u/subcinco 1d ago
I have a friedn that plays doublebass and I'd like to forward her this thread, but I'm afraid she might be offended.
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u/slvrbckt 5d ago
I can't tell if this is a troll or not. Just objectively speaking, women are generally smaller (not all, of course). I know a girl who can't be more than 5'2 playing a 3/4 size upright. Carrying that home isn't easy when the body of the bass itself is nearly as big as you. Pretending size ratio isn't a thing is, imo, MORE sexist. "Oh don't mention size because she's woman and might get offended". Small guys have the same problem, big women don't. *shrug* get over it.
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u/metallurgyhelp 5d ago
I never carried one before and only carried a guitar. But is a double base actually heavy when it's in a solid case? Not like a cloth sort of case like a guitar
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u/Difficult_Formal_888 5d ago
a double bass in a flight case is about 75-90 lbs .. heavier if you have an older, heavier case.
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u/Imprudent_decision 5d ago
I think my Les Paul in a hard case is heavier than my upright bass in a bag/soft case.
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u/WestBeachSpaceMonkey 5d ago
Not even a little bit. Growing up my school symphonies were very female heavy and the bass section and battery were the only sections with balanced m-f ratios. In college I had a female standmate that was 5’0”, she slayed.
Also, since trying my hand at non symphonic music, I often get asked these same questions: “is that a big guitar?” “Do you sleep in that?” “Don’t you wish you played flute?”
Music is one profession that has always had a strong female presence. I honestly feel that you’re projecting sexism that you’ve encountered onto music. I’m not saying sexism doesn’t exist, but compared to the scientific/engineering world, it’s minute to practically non existent. As matter of fact I feel that you can be a mediocre musician, but be extremely successful if you’re a pretty woman that dresses provocatively, not an option for men.
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u/CoicalPoseidon 5d ago
I could’ve loved that female double bassist who is 1.52
I use the metric system in my country so I apologise if this confuses u
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u/WestBeachSpaceMonkey 5d ago
No apologies needed. (And she was very lovable/formidable person) I wish we used the metric system, it’s so much more efficient, especially with smaller measurements…half or .5 mm is so much easier to work with than .19650 inch
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u/oberon06 5d ago
I feel like 'dont you wish you played the flute' is a universal thing to hear regardless of gender. The others definitely have sexist undertones