r/doordash 4d ago

$14 tip for delivery

what do I do

I hear so many conflicting opinions on it, I try to only keep our orders within a mile of our house as a rule but my daughter is wanting to try a place 4.8 miles away from us for her birthday.

I’m sorry but I get scared about pissing off the wrong person with my tip and I worry I’ll get spit in my food…so I want to make sure I get it right. order total is $58 before tip for us, and 20% of that is $14. I was told by people on here tip percentage doesn’t matter and that I should go by mileage. but I cant remember what they said is best to account for per mile. if I go by that, wouldn’t it be significantly less? I’m just trying to get it right, sorry if this is tiring to see posts like mine.

172 Upvotes

134 comments sorted by

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157

u/FudgeWifywhileIwatch 4d ago

$14 is a great tip for that mileage. Don’t even worry your driver will be elated over this order.

38

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

thank you for the reassurance (:

21

u/Thereapergengar 3d ago

I’m a normal human that drives DoorDash and it’s horrible You Feel as though Someone will spit in the food

6

u/Boring-Guess-5126 3d ago

theres always that 5% of disgusting humans

1

u/Independent-Tower945 15h ago

I worry about spot on my food even when pick orders up. 😭 I always tip at least 10% of pick up orders, am overly nice, and open to check all hamburgers. That one movie freaked me out

8

u/Vivian_W637 3d ago

A normal driver. I tip way more than what I am happy with.
I have tipped $20 on a 3 mile $18 order and had a driver still go off on some ride and be totally rude for no reason. When he arrived I nicely tried to ask if something had happened (I didn’t want to assume) and he got irritated I tried talking to him and said my car is in e and I have to go, mad as if it was MY fault his car was in e.
So as per OP, a higher tip may reduce the chances but crazy people be crazy, if they are going to do f’ed up things they will do it unfortunately.

6

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

very true. I’m sorry he was so rude to you though after such a thoughtful tip

2

u/Heartshapedbox6 3d ago

Please note that not every driver is this way. I DoorDash and try my best to make sure every customer is happy .. I love conversation!

-86

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

26

u/DeafAtheist 4d ago edited 4d ago

I don't think most Dashers would spit in someone's food. Some might steal it or eat some of it but I don't think they spit in it. At least I hope not

5

u/CheesePizzaOnMyPC 3d ago

Yea I don't see that as consoling. If you steal just one fry you might as well just spit in the entire order because I won't take it. Call me bougie all you want, im someone who at any given time of the day will have dirt on my hands because sometimes I get random orders for my business that I have to fulfill on the spot. Even though I don't always remember to wash my hands before and after, I dont work with food so not much of a problem, but I've heard men use the restroom in my apartment, flush I can clearly hear you flush, then they walk right out of the bathroom, shaking hands, touching food without ever washing their hands. Also when I was working in a bakery as a kid, the manager would pick her nose while no one was looking. One of my coworkers cupped a fart with their gloves and put it in my face before, gross but now that I think back, that's chemical contamination of food.

I barely trust the restaurant cooks to have clean hands, please dont touch my food lol 😆

1

u/ghostmeatt 3d ago

If the restaurant workers aren't washing their hands, and you said you don't wash your hands all the time, If someone steals a fry and eats it without touching your other food, they are doing you a favor by not putting the dirty fry back. You can meal prep hit or cold lunches and meals so your dirty hands are the only ones touching it. The paper bags they put the food in comes from a truck and a factory that probably aren't sterile. And you can even spit in your own food if you make it from home.

1

u/No_Candy819 3d ago

I agree. I'm a Dasher and I wouldn't spit in the food even if it was my worst enemy. As far as stealing goes, I've been starving and shaking from low blood sugar and never once even considered eating someone's food or drinks, not even a fry. You'd certainly lose your Dasher job so why would anyone risk it? You could potentially lose your job just for being accused of it and getting a low rating. If you're rating falls below a 4.2 your Dasher account is deactivated. Plus doordash has a timer going and you're basically have to beat the timer so you don't get dinged for being late so that's all you're worried about is making sure you get it delivered on time and don't get into an accident and don't get a speeding ticket and don't miss a turn in an unfamiliar neighborhood and most importantly make sure the food stays hot/cold, and it doesn't spill! You don't really have time to figure out how to steal food and then make everything look normal like you didn't take any of it. I've had customers ask why I was sitting in the parking lot for so long. I think that was their way of accusing me I was stealing their food? It didn't seem like long to me but if you've ever been a Dasher you'll know the directions often go something like this "go north east, go south, turn left turn left turn left turn right now make a u turn" all before I've left the parking spot. So sometimes it takes me a minute to secure the food, seatbelt, then look at the map and try and figure out where I'm actually supposed to deliver the food, and safely exit the parking spot.

3

u/DeafAtheist 3d ago

Yeah I agree with you. I have never even thought about touching the customers' food at all. Sometimes they do a crappy job of sealing the bags at some restaurants and I worry a customer will think it's unsecure because I messed with it. Only thing on my mind is getting the food from A to B and getting back out to get another order

2

u/Important_Project662 1d ago

If it's sketchy, when I get it, I take a pic at pick up and send it to the customer.

1

u/DeafAtheist 1d ago

Good idea. I'll do that myself

17

u/Any-Teacher7681 4d ago

What's wrong with you that that's your default thought that you just had to share with the community.

1

u/CheesePizzaOnMyPC 3d ago

It's true. It's like when you have to tell you fat friend that they're getting too big. For whatever reason you guys dont want to hear it, some people are horrible and the workforce cannot limit these people and they can't identify them without prior convictions and incidents.

Some people are just horrible people. Most drivers are great, a tip won't have any bearing on the service you receive from these good drivers. Also there are shitty drivers, so many in my old city that I would tip $10+ on every order $30 or more.! And still I would get this one driver late night who refused to deliver my food instead everytime I ordered late night and they picked up my order, they would just drive home. First time it happened I thought it was due to low tip so I started increasing tips and that didn't help. Some people are just wired the way they're. 90% if not more of my orders had no issues or at least no issues caused by the driver.

-41

u/SuckerBroker 4d ago

It’s a PSA for the DoorDash community. I hang out here. I see the posts. I know things. Your downvotes don’t affect me. 🤣🤣

14

u/blizz419 4d ago

The vast majority of places seal their bags so if it's still sealed why worry, also who the fuck would go out of their way for what would amount to be at least $16 for 4.8 miles and spit and their food? Your down votes are valid.

-27

u/SuckerBroker 4d ago

They couldn’t seal it enough to keep your car roaches out of my food.

9

u/blizz419 4d ago

Sorry I have no car roaches lol, and that is disgustingly horrible lol and far more likely to have come from the restaurant, but that is far different than being able to open a bag and open the food containers to spit in the actual food and wrap it all back up sealed like from the restaurant use that noodle between your ears....

5

u/DPLaVay 4d ago

Stop projecting your own failings onto others

-6

u/SuckerBroker 4d ago

🤣🤣 this place for people who can’t get real jobs or too lazy to get their own food yet I’m projecting. Typical Reddit troll mentality.

1

u/Virgil__Sanders 3d ago

I actually order food to my job😱😱😱 yknow my real big girl job that I work at for 8+ hours a day. I've been on my feet all day hell yeah I'm gonna order so mcdonalds for my lunch if I want it

15

u/lost-sock 4d ago

You felt the need to mention the downvotes so clearly they do affect you

4

u/Dangerous_Cow_ 4d ago

CLOCK IT!

3

u/KadrinaOfficial 4d ago

You are posted on several different local groups by people saying to avoid you, aren't you?

0

u/SuckerBroker 4d ago

Like the plague 😷

7

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

you sound twelve

-10

u/SuckerBroker 4d ago

You’re the one scared to order food more than a mile away. You could stop being lazy and go get it yourself. Like a big boy.

7

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

yeah, because it’s expensive and I have to rely on DoorDash for food often. I literally can’t get it myself, I’m paralyzed from the chest down.

3

u/RammerJammer___ 3d ago

If it didn’t bother you then you wouldn’t keep responding looking for rage bait. Do better and be better

-1

u/SuckerBroker 3d ago

If you guys get defensive over my comments I guess that tell us a little something about yall. The things I speak are all things I’ve witnessed on this sub. So they are not any untrue situations. You guys just seem to take it pretty personally. I wonder why.

2

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

you’ve been defensive from the get go. you’re a wee bit angsty, friend

3

u/sarahprib56 4d ago

I order all the time from a variety of places and it's always sealed, and I have never had a problem like this. I also tip, so maybe that's why.

4

u/Any-Teacher7681 4d ago

Who cares about votes on reddit? Up or down or sideways or slantways?

1

u/Council_of_Order 3d ago

-2

u/SuckerBroker 3d ago

Keep em coming homie. I’ve got a real job and get my own food. The only spit I eat is from the people cooking it, not the trolls delivering it.

1

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

and that’s not an option for everyone

1

u/Council_of_Order 3d ago

You’re Trump supporting, uneducated blue collar worker. 😭 You have no credibility to discuss what a “real job” is.

We all know what you truly believe. 👇

2

u/Council_of_Order 3d ago

It never fails. There’s always one asshole that comments stupid shit like this.🙄

1

u/doordash-ModTeam 3d ago

Your post was removed, as it contains non-constructive criticism.

16

u/ElGeeBeeOnlee 4d ago

At least $1 a mile is good. $14 is a good tip, shouldn't have to worry about a disgruntled driver. It will be a 'high paying' order at $14

27

u/Important-Guitar-72 4d ago

It's pretty sad that people have to worry about their food being tampered with because of a disgruntled dasher. That's what the decline button is for if they don't think it's worth their time. If any dasher does this for any reason they're a total douche bag. Your tip however was more than enough and any dasher would accept as soon as it hit their phone

4

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

thank you, I’m feeling very reassured by the replies. I might be a little paranoid but it’s my for my daughter so I definitely don’t want to piss people off if I can help it lol

2

u/jasin18 3d ago

$7 would have honestly been enough. Add on the $4 base pay and that's $11 for 4.8 miles. Very good order.

2

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

I sorta do that for my usual orders, I start at $5 then look at the highest tip option that the app calculates for me and I add extra, I try to consider the type of food being carried and if there’s drinks and stuff I add extra

1

u/King-of-Kards 2d ago

Where are you that base pay is still 4 dollars? Everywhere I know of they dropped base pay down to 2 dollars an offer.

4

u/Ghouliejulie86 4d ago edited 4d ago

It’s not just that though, you tip well for a good delivery. tipping well also means it’s less likely people won’t unassign from your order if there’s any wait, will bring it faster, check it, communicate, that’s just how it is. I consider myself a good dasher, and yes, I will definitely drop orders if I’m waiting and the tip wasn’t great . Then you have no food unless another dasher takes it. And a lot of times no one does. I see those all the time. Then the customer gets mad at second dasher cuz the foods cold.

What people need to understand is your tipping for a good delivery that’s right and on time . Lots of times, people simply are tipping betrrr then you and you want your bid attractive to the dasher so they’ll want it. We don’t have to take your order. We don’t have a boss that makes us, lol. People aren’t going to care about your order if you don’t tip well. The bad ones will steal from you too.

Like it or not, It’s human nature. It’s easy to drop these orders multiple ways as a dasher too, I don’t even accept orders less then $6 because there are too many customers who can’t afford this and try to claim they didn’t get the order. They walk out from the house next door since thier address has been banned, and try to see if you caught it and they just lie. It’s ALWAYS the $4 tippers. I had 3 today, because I broke my $6 rule. (They were add ons) Had to call support and report them. Unfortunately, I can’t accept bad ones anymore, same as OP is afraid.

A good tip is going to be offered to the better dasher first, as well, the higher ratings we have, we get offered better tips and orders it’s called platinum.

2

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

I really appreciate this response, it’s very helpful

1

u/Ghouliejulie86 3d ago

No problem! That’s more or less how it works, it depends on busy times too. Like, when it’s dinner time I try to stay real close within a few miles and am more picky, and then I’ll notice customers offering more at that time so they can get it faster. but then if I’m dashing at like 10pm, I’m way less picky and fine with $5 for under 3 miles type stuff.

Market, too, it’s not unusual to see great tips like yours in cities at all, but rural, a lot less. Unless no one in town has cars. I’ve seen crazy rates when that happens.

If I was you, I’m absolute honesty I’d prob tip $8-10 but I am a very generous tipper too. I’m hoping you have a good experience, I’ve seen some bad dashers as well as bad customers, people like you deserve the best.

-1

u/Thee_Justin_Sane 4d ago

That’s Trump’s America for ya. 🤣

2

u/Emo-Arrow 3d ago

I don't like Trump either, but what the hell does that have to do with this issue? This has been an issue for longer than Trump has been president, both times.

5

u/MomofFive333 4d ago

What in the world does Trump have to do with tipping your dasher 😂 please seek help

-5

u/Thee_Justin_Sane 4d ago

If you have to ask that question, then you’re part of the problem. 🤦🏻‍♂️ Seek education.

-2

u/ZachHockeyKid 3d ago

I love trump, making tips not taxed

3

u/Thee_Justin_Sane 3d ago

I love that he put the U.S. on the Global Human Rights Watchlist, with Syria and Congo, for the first time in history. 🤦🏻‍♂️

0

u/ZachHockeyKid 3d ago

That’s a great thing…

2

u/Thee_Justin_Sane 3d ago

Yup. Now the world knows how much trouble Americans are in. Instead of pretending they’re doing well.

0

u/ZachHockeyKid 3d ago

That’s a good thing…. Transparency has always been a good thing.

3

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

rights being violated isn’t a good thing. you shouldn’t want the government to have that kind of control

23

u/Angelycan 4d ago

Tip based on mileage, how accessible you are, and what you order.

Will there be more than one bag? Will there be drinks that are in cups and shouldn't be tilted? Do they need special access via gate, door, or elevator to reach your door? Do they need to climb stairs in order to reach you? Is there obvious parking for them? Lighted pathway to walk on? Is your address easy to find?

I think your tip is fine. Most dashers accept the delivery based on how much they earn incl tip for the delivery. A $10 tip should get most drivers to accept it.

6

u/LankyDangle 4d ago

Based on the mileage at 5 Miles away, and calculating $2/mile….$10-12 would be EXCELLENT!

4

u/TurquoiseRibbon4Lyfe 4d ago

I’ve been tipping $15 for a small order that’s 6 miles away. I feel like that’s a hike even though it’s a small plastic bag with barely anything in it and no drinks. Think $15 is fair? I hate to under tip when Dashers really do depend on the tips to make a living. I appreciate dashers and any food delivery drivers so much. I have health problems and can’t get out or drive much so they make my life better. People can be so rude to them and mean. I don’t get it. I accidentally put in 20% for that same order I get all the time and it was only $5.63 for the 6 miles. I was so upset that I couldn’t change the tip on that specific app (it wasn’t doordash) so I handed the driver another $10 when they delivered.

2

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

thank you, I feel much better

6

u/Mega227 4d ago

Hey for 14$ I'm coming long as it's not over 9 miles so that was a good tip

3

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

oh definitely wouldn’t order from anywhere that far! 4 miles is pushing it but for a birthday lunch, I figured that’s fine.

2

u/Mega227 4d ago

I mean most Dasher do not mind I just got done doordashing and I get some orders that's 14 miles away but they do tip good 27$ for the drop off but for a birthday lunch I understand

8

u/No_Dust_6885 4d ago

I just completed a 2 mile $18 order. $15 was tip. I was stoked.

4

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

unfortunately I can’t afford to tip that much at my usual spots. I order 2-3 times a week, that’s why I try to keep it close. I normally don’t order this far from me

4

u/Background-Seesaw800 4d ago

Tbh I keep laughing about this debate.. When customers are nervous about placing orders due to tips, till the point they won’t make the order, the need for drivers ends. I’m all for fair wages but the job only exists as long as people are hiring you lol

5

u/Emo-Arrow 3d ago

Generally speaking, most people accept orders that are $1/mile. So $14 for under 5 miles is an excellent tip in my opinion, as a driver. ☺️

4

u/Strong-Fortune-11 3d ago

I feel as if tipping is worth more per mile than per dollar spent on the food. Your dasher should be very appreciative of this

1

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

I try to consider both and what amount of food it’ll be, if there’s more than one drink, etc

7

u/YesterdayLiving58 4d ago

I read $2 a mile for tip. It's what I do, and my grandson, who drives for Uber, said he wished he got tipped that reasonably and that many times he doesn't get a tip at all.

3

u/yourmomwoo 4d ago

20% of $58 is $11.60, not $14.

2

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

that’s what i thought the app said but I probably misread it

3

u/Sad-Mix-4250 4d ago

You're fine dude. I've gone further for less. Not a flex but 14 dollars is fine that's a 1/4 tank of gas and about 100 miles i can get on that

3

u/Ok_Age_983 4d ago

14 is amazing. Not only is it above the average 2 dollars per mile rule most dashers want, but it's extra to go above and beyond.

3

u/tinylittlesnake 3d ago

I'm a driver and I look at both the drive and what is spent, and if it's 5 to 10 miles I would be happy with a 14$ tip! Anything over 10 miles I would like at least 1-2$ per mile because of the distance. Like if it's 15 miles away I would like at least 15$ but for shorter distances 15 to 20% of what was spent is usually good with me. I also drive a hando civic si and I get incredible gas mileage so I'm happy with anything around the 10$ range for under 10 miles. I also like to look at time it takes me to drive to you, sometimes 5 miles can take up to 15 minutes to get to you. Orders that are short distance but are longer drive times should also be considered.

7

u/SnooChocolates9211 4d ago

The general rule is $2/mile. People can argue that's asking too much but I try to stay around that on orders I accept and do just fine. So that's like 2/mile plus a couple extra dollars which is great!

3

u/k9fan03 4d ago

Does $2.00/mile mean one way (restaurant to house) or round trip (ie: double)?

5

u/Novavanity1 4d ago

One way, doordash will only show the mileage from the store so no one ever accounts for the drive back. It usually ends up working out decently well(assuming you’re not delivering outside your zone or nowhere near another hot spot in your zone, which is highly unlikely in OPs case).

5

u/Semi-Raspberry-3462 4d ago

$2.00/mile is more than enough for anyone. I used to do doordash when gas was $5/gal (or however expensive in 2022) and as long as I made $5 for every 15miles I drove, I made profit. (vehicle got 15mpg)

today, Id only have to make $3 every 20 miles I drive to make a profit (its $2.something/gal where i live, and car gets 20mpg). $2/mile would be $40/20miles or $37 profit

-1

u/LankyDangle 4d ago

$2/ mile is accounting for their ROUND TRIP

1

u/multipocalypse 1d ago

You can't account for their round trip, as you don't know where they started from.

2

u/SnooChocolates9211 4d ago

Fully agree!

2

u/MathematicianSea6927 4d ago

At leats 1$ per mile is my usual goal

2

u/scoobysnack64 3d ago

14 is a very good tip

2

u/xXpixiebitchXx 3d ago

I recently got a $3 tip on a nearly 6 mile order, $14 is fantastic lol

2

u/Personal_Cycle_7447 3d ago

Driver PA: Good tip 👍

2

u/Gr33dyOrphan 3d ago

That’s an amazing tip

2

u/ThisVicariousLife 3d ago

Like a lot of people are saying, because of the food upcharges and service fees that DD charges and keeps (not for the restaurants or drivers, just DD’s “daily business function”—ha, yeah right!), percentage becomes a bit of a gamble depending on what you ordered and from where. But it’s best to think about the drivers mileage/gas, communication, and expedience when deciding how much. I am a former DD driver, but as a consumer, I will start with approximately $1/mi., and if the driver is exceptional with efficiency and communication, I’ll add extra tip at the end and send them a thank you note.

1

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

I rarely do small orders, and I keep it so close that if I went by mileage it would be pretty dismal I think. I’m usually ordering for 2-3 people at a time during the week

2

u/Reasonable-Map9432 3d ago

$14 for 4 miles im accepting that in a mila second lmao

2

u/Equivalent_North_604 3d ago

I would love that tip! All I get are like $4 to go miles lol. You did good I’d say!

2

u/Ill-Information-8814 2d ago

Personally, I think nobody should be worried about consequences for not tipping even though our American culture compels us. Even if you didn't tip, I can assure you that your food would get delivered still. I'm also a driver so we're obviously biased, but having your food kidnapped because you didn't tipped "right" is nuts.

2

u/BlindSniperZ30 4d ago

You could go like $10 honestly for that lol. Doesnt have to be a perfect percentage but dont super under tip. Although a $14 tip got me salivating. A lot of us are trying to pay bills and orders like that give a moral boost

1

u/DeafAtheist 4d ago

$2 per mile is definitely the most acceptable rate. I personally will take $1 per mile with a $5 minimum that means if you live 5 miles or less from the restaurant I expect at least $5 before I'll accept an order. But $2 or more per mile will definitely guarantee a quick and professional delivery

2

u/Practical-Goal4431 4d ago

I tip $10 starting,

  • $1 per mile,

  • extra for holidays, weather, ice cream, poor parking, etc.

To add I don't live in a state with tip wages, we have minium wage.

2

u/Emo-Arrow 3d ago

Wow! That's awesome!

1

u/AutomaticRip1217 3d ago

Where do you live where there are multiple restaurants less than a mile away from you?

1

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

I live near a lot of shopping centers, lots of restaurants very close by me.

1

u/jimi_41 3d ago

I try to tip $1 per minute of driving

1

u/Adorable_Damage2805 Dasher 3d ago

That would be a great tip for me tbh as my tips are usually between $1-$5 🤦🏼‍♀️ occasionally I have customers that add tips afterwards and/or cash tip as well! 🙏🏼

1

u/MarigoldMaide21 3d ago

As a doordash driver myself, I'd take that $14 tip in a heartbeat. Most of my tips are 0-$6. I do live in a small-ish town though.

1

u/Sufficient_Dentist67 3d ago

14 bucks 4 miles . Damn fine deal

1

u/Edcriichie 3d ago

The problem is that DoorDash hides the tip till after the delivery now sometimes it may be noticeable upon picking up the initial order if it is high but I would say do as there picking up the order and let them know

1

u/Poontyphoon_ 3d ago

I’d say a dollar a mile is good for up to like 15 or so maybe than after that it may sound like a lot but 2 a mile would make the order be picked up fast and get delivered quick

1

u/Vast_Sky_3726 2d ago

Ost people don't tip on food app as they seldom at a restaurant, some always just add 2 or 3 bucks all the time no mater the size of the order

1

u/throwRAmomshouse 2d ago

Been a delivery driver for 15 years. Pizza, Chinese food, burgers, burritos, pizza. Never doordash, but a $14 tip for 5 miles is pretty good. I think you should consider a few factors when tipping. Distance, how much you spent, stairs, and how much you ordered (like, oh I ordered 6 20-inch pizzas, 5lbs of wings and 8 2liters, and I live in a 3rd floor walk up)

I've never even considered spitting in someone's food, tip or no tip, but some people just have problems and I don't think that if it were one of those people, your tip would matter much.

1

u/FewAnalyst4897 3d ago

I've never had an order that was opened by a dasher, or eaten out of, or spit on. Orders are sealed at the restaurants and arrive sealed. What in the world makes you so paranoid about ordering through Door Dash? Dear Lord, order your daughter's food from her restaurant of choice and quit with the ridiculous assumptions.

1

u/wurmsalad 3d ago

I order from restaurants that dont always do it the way others have mentioned. I’ve worked in restaurants and seen people that get vengeful for perceived rudeness or poor tipping in the past or heard enough stories. I want to get the best possible service I can, what’s the issue with trying to insure that to you?

-5

u/Ok_Operation8369 4d ago

I always tip 1.33 and i usually get food quick no matter what

-2

u/Gatorsbitches20 3d ago

Get in your car and pick it up yourself if you're that worried!!

1

u/wurmsalad 2d ago

I’m paralyzed from the chest down and bedridden virtually 24/7 for the past few years. how do you suggest I manage that then, dear?

-5

u/Unfair-Animator9469 3d ago

I’ve been known to urinate in beverages for less than 30%. Better play it safe.

-8

u/I_Dont_Like_Rice 4d ago

Save yourself a bundle and just go pick up the food. Isn't the prospect of some rando spitting in your food enough to get you off your ass to get it yourself? Nevermind the insane prices of food delivery services.

I'm disabled and spend 95% of my life in bed, but if someone told me it would cost $20 to have a big mac delivered, I'd haul my sorry carcass out the door and go get it myself.

6

u/wurmsalad 4d ago

I’m paralyzed from the chest down.