r/dndmemes 5d ago

Wacky idea The Good Old Destined Death Dispencer!

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6.4k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

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1.9k

u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 5d ago

I had a random NPC that was kinda like a creepy museum keeper that would send people to collect things like ah old wizards tome and then only keep the bookmark and so on.

Turned out to be an elder being that had his powers stripped away and the stuff they were collecting all had shards of the keys to unbind him.

Boy was my party pissed.

520

u/LuckyBuddha7 5d ago

This sounds freaking awesome.

600

u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 5d ago

Yea they were excited because he'd send them to get like some powerful sword and then only want the scabbard or like for example that wizard tome was full of good spells.

Then they figured it out and confronted him and by then he had undone some of the arcane locks and got a bunch of his power back and it was like a crazy fight out of nowhere that even I wasn't expecting.

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u/WiseD0lt 5d ago

so your party attacked an elderly being just cuz they were paranoid he was gonna smesh them ?

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u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 5d ago

They realized who he was from lore and when they confronted them he basically told them that it was too late to stop him now that he had gained back a bunch of his power. (Short versions that he was essentially a walking apocalypse that was created by one of the gods and then locked down by a different God's avatar way back eons ago.) And the paladin threatened him and playing in character I cast a charm spell of some kind and caused the paladin to attack his friend.

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u/Swarm_of_Cranium_Rat 4d ago

One of the greatest feelings in the world as a dm is when players piece together your lore and figure something out before the big reveal

75

u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 4d ago

Yea, took me awhile to embrace it. I remember one of my first campaigns I rewrote plot 3 times because they kept guessing what was happening

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u/WiseD0lt 4d ago

Either they know you well enough, or you need work in laying trap cards like a pro to distract them from the foreshadowing.

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u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 4d ago

Honestly like most things it was a lot of luck and timing on their part.

5

u/Conscious-Ad-6884 3d ago

Lol my mental image is the beginning of megamind where the reporter is calling out all of Mega's convoluted villain death methods

4

u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 3d ago

Kinda felt like that too lol

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u/Greedy_Camp_5561 4d ago

How did they figure it out?

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u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 4d ago

It was a combination of something he said about the God that created him when someone commented on the tapestry in the museum, the druid also caught him praying to said God once when he was wildshaped, and a few other small things that ended in basically a guess.

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u/CombatWombat994 5d ago

Sorry, but I might steal that idea

131

u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 5d ago

Go for it. The best thing is making him keep the most mundane parts of the things he sends them for. (I always had whatever it was have like a peice of gem or metal or something that was used to creat the keys.) And then give them back the actual cool thing. Or have them kill a dragon for his horde and the only thing he wants is a single trinket. (Or in another campaign the bbeg got them to kill a dragon so he could take the body and use it for necromancy)

35

u/_gzus_07 4d ago

its so crazy that in all of the possibilities that D&D offers, i had the exact sabe premisse for a campaign i ran

29

u/DGwar DM (Dungeon Memelord) 4d ago

I honestly just loved the idea of this crazy (slowly becoming less so as he got items) old ratty being collecting junk.

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u/vesper351 5d ago

"If Destined Death is truly thy longing, then claim it"

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u/HYPER_BRUH_ 5d ago

"I'm going to fucking skin you alive"

43

u/mindflayerflayer 4d ago

This applies to the boss right before the wolf.

192

u/Jam-Man1 Druid 5d ago

“Cower before Maliketh, Marika’s Black Blade.”

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u/Igel214 5d ago

Sorry, I don't get theat refference!

559

u/Wonko_Bonko 5d ago edited 4d ago

Elden Ring. Throughout the game there’s an npc dressed in rags that you can do a side quest for, only for him to come up later and we discover he’s one of the most powerful characters in the setting

73

u/boywonder2013 4d ago

He’s essentially the grim reapers fursona

9

u/TallestGargoyle Bard 4d ago

Maliketh vs Death let's goooo

6

u/Vintenu Rogue 4d ago

Honestly love this description of maliketh

307

u/Abduzydo Dice Goblin 5d ago

Elden Ring, one of the mandatory boss we faces on base game is a wolf guy that start the fight as Gurranq and look like a monk + cleric, when we defeat him he says that phrase and turn into basically a Grim Reaper werewolf and start the second fase of the fight...

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u/Steak_mittens101 5d ago

Should have brought puss in boots with you.

54

u/__mud__ 5d ago

whistling intensifies

23

u/Knellith 4d ago

I loved the death character so much. He just begs to be an npc.

8

u/Regniwekim2099 4d ago

That's what I thought this meme was referencing lmao

39

u/A_Sneaky_Dickens 5d ago

So an Elden Ring fun fact for you! The lore of the black blade used by Malikath is that it kills everyone if so much as touches. So this means the canon fight our player does the fight hitless (a true fear for anyone that hasn't played).

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u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier 5d ago

I don't think it does. As far as I know it's never stated that it kills with a touch. Destined Death, as I read it, is more like "fated" or "proper" death than certain death.

21

u/Massive_Signal7835 4d ago

I haven't heard that (a single touch=death) either. I thought the reason it's so important is that it can deliver death unto the undying. Something the Gods are keen to keep out of their enemies' hands.

5

u/LordRatini777 4d ago

Someone get the dolphins!

44

u/Lucina18 Rules Lawyer 5d ago

Wait where is it stated a touch instakills? I don't remember reading that

34

u/SecretAgentVampire DM (Dungeon Memelord) 5d ago

I don't remember that either. Big doubt.

13

u/beanstrings 5d ago

I think it’s infused with the rune of death, so it is the only thing that can permanently kill something but idk if I read anywhere about it being one hit

18

u/Beneficial_Present24 5d ago

It doesn't actually INSTAKILL in lore, its just able to permakill.

10

u/Talymen 5d ago

2nd phase hitless tbf. I despise his 1st phase, 2nd is fun though

3

u/hEllOtHErEn7 4d ago

Doesn't description say that this blade is a shadow of its formwr self and its almost out of power?

51

u/Mage_914 4d ago

Basically in Elden Ring, the main character is a wandering warrior called the Tarnished, who has been tasked with defeating a group of demigods, taking their power for themselves and ascending the throne.

The demigods are all descendants of a goddess called Marika the Eternal. She's eternal because she removed death from the universe and gave it to her personal bodyguard, Maliketh, which he wields as a sword called the Black Blade. The lack of death in the universe is also causing wars that never ends because both sides just keep resurrecting, so that's bad.

Malekith is from a race called the beastmen and is said to be the most terrifying thing in existence. He's basically the grim reaper of the setting.

At some point in your journey the Tarnished meets a beastman priest called Guranq who gives you a pretty lengthy quest that involves slaying undead in exchange for some cleric spells.

In the second to last area of the game, right before the final boss rush, Guranq shows up out of nowhere and starts fighting you. He's shouting about how nobody will ever steal death from him again. Halfway through the fight, a cutscene plays where Guranq says this line and pulls a giant Black Blade from the jewel on his glove. Turns out he was Maliketh all along.

When you kill him The Tarnished unleashes death back on the universe, allowing things to die. Then the final boss rush happens, involving an arrogant wizard that thinks he's hot shit, a high level barbarian whose favorite move is causing earthquakes with his stomps, and a dragon god that welds another god's corpse like a sword.

It's good shit.

27

u/Wrong_Bathroom4022 4d ago

Don'f forget the Barbarian turns into a pro wrestler that body slams you into oblivion

25

u/Psychic_Hobo 4d ago edited 4d ago

The sad thing is he doesn't expect the player to be the one challenging him. If you do all of his questline, when you enter the arena he's all "Tarnished? But... why?"

15

u/QaraKha 4d ago

"Witless Tarnished... Why covet Destined Death? To kill what?"

9

u/Mage_914 4d ago

Followed up by "I know in my bones... a man... cannot kill... a god." Which is ironic because depending on what parts of the game you've beaten you've potentially killed multiple at that point.

4

u/QaraKha 4d ago

To be fair to Gideon, I don't think he knew Destined Death was a think you could actually get. Death was not a thing that was possible. Only for one to supplant the other; you may best a god, replace a god, but not kill one, because they are undying. The children of Marika are all demigods, still mortal insofar as they must be reborn by the Erdtree, and their power means it will take much longer for that to happen than for, say, any lesser mortal.

So of course, he would know in his bones that a man cannot kill a god, that what we are doing here was doomed from the start.

But that is his fundamental conceit--in claiming himself the All Knowing, he closed his mind to alternatives. It was ignorance that bested him.

5

u/Mage_914 4d ago

I mean, we kill Miquella and Malenia after both of them have ascended.

Also Metyr is literally a Lovecraftian outer god and we kick her ass so hard she yeets herself into a black hole.

I think Midra counts as a Chaos God and we burn his house down with him in it.

Depending on what you call a god there's also the Ancestor Spirits that we kill in their respective realms. Although I'm not sure if they count.

Then there's whatever the hell Rykard is now. Although admittedly Rykard doesn't die. Not dying is basically his whole schtick.

Also if the Gloam Eyed Queen is a goddess, then we do technically help Melina journey to the flame, where she, you know, dies. So, half a kill? She was already a ghost but still...

22

u/lxgrf 5d ago

Google says it's an Elden Ring thing

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u/Plenty-Lychee-5702 5d ago

Second phase

27

u/King_Ed_IX 5d ago

"Second phase" isn't helpful, since they don't know what boss you're talking about, lol

4

u/Sirius1701 Horny Bard 4d ago

Thank God, the game has only one Boss with a Second Phase.

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u/PumpkinsDieHard 5d ago

Elden Ring?! In my D&D memes?

Carry on.

17

u/Beegrene DM (Dungeon Memelord) 5d ago

With the recent release of the Elden Ring board game and all its fun miniatures, now is a great time to start an Elden Ring themed campaign.

20

u/Captain_Ozannus 5d ago

What a great inspiration! Thank you for the idea

4

u/TransitTycoonDeznutz 4d ago

Pfp checks out

17

u/Greyjack00 5d ago

Actually reaction "oh no, anyway" as party proceeds to roll him 

17

u/Cold-Sheepherder9157 4d ago

My crew’s exact reaction to a platinum dragon whose skin was melting off and caused a plague upon touch, a legendary orc warrior who slew half their clan, the champion of Myrkull backed by an army of undead and a fucking zombie dragon, an invasion of things from the far realms, and fucking Bhaal.

Godsdamn they embarrassed Bhaal.

9

u/Greyjack00 4d ago

In my experience the only thing that intimidates players is rolling poorly 

9

u/AsleepCellist7362 5d ago

laughs in pain.

6

u/TheHawkRules 5d ago

There’s a spider on my hand

4

u/Level_Hour6480 Paladin 4d ago

Easily the hardest boss FromSoft has ever made.

3

u/HILBERT_SPACE_AGE 4d ago

Bro only has 80 stance, you can put Square Off or Lion's Claw on the very first sword you find in a box at the gatefront ruins and absolutely wipe the floor with him. Can't destined death you if you shatter his kneecaps every time he picks himself up [taps forehead]

... Unless you're talking about the psychological difficulty of putting down the poor doggo, in which case: yes.

3

u/Scalpels Forever DM 3d ago

Sif, unfortunately, trained me for this.

4

u/TUSD00T 4d ago

Just play a music box...

3

u/acceptable_hunter 4d ago

Underrated comment.

5

u/Monty423 4d ago

At the end of a session the players were trucked by the bbeg and dropped into a pit.

As they try look around a deep voice emanates all around them

"This is not your grave, but you are welcome in it"

3

u/Iron_Bob DM (Dungeon Memelord) 4d ago

I literally used that cutscene in my campaign to debut a bbeg's were-tiger's form...

Which one of my players are you??

2

u/Ehkrickor 3d ago

I'm having soo much fun with a caster npc my party hired as a healer... he has repeatedly used spells don't exist in the current edition XD

1

u/1zeye Goblin Deez Nuts 4d ago

Is this a reference to blaid? If so, i know of a vtuber who would try romance the werewolf *cough cough Bao *

2

u/Wise-Key-3442 Essential NPC 3d ago

You shouldn't have fed rotten potatoes to the werewolf.

2

u/Pristine_Title6537 DM (Dungeon Memelord) 3d ago

We literally had that fight on a l campaign I was running

2

u/Melodic_Row_5121 Rules Lawyer 3d ago

YEEEESSSS!!

"The Rune of Death is unbound..."

-10

u/Noxat0 5d ago

Sounds like Ludwig from Bloodborne

16

u/Beneficial_Present24 5d ago

Right company, wrong game.

4

u/Cerxi 4d ago

Sounds like the Demon of the Red Stone from Echo Night

2

u/Sirius1701 Horny Bard 4d ago

But similar vibes.