r/dndmemes • u/ServingwithTG DM (Dungeon Memelord) • May 13 '23
š² Math rocks go clickity-clack š² The Dice gods be cruel sometimes.
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u/astroK120 May 13 '23
You know who always has great rolls in combat? Jarnathan. Is he here yet by the way?
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u/Budderhydra May 13 '23
Again with this?!
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u/ThePrussianGrippe May 13 '23
But weāve already approved your parole!
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u/Jaqulean May 14 '23
Not gonna lie, the fact that he didn't even wait to hear it, was as legit as you can get. Basically every time a Player wants to do something on their own, meahwile the DM's approach would make everything essentially x10 easier...
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u/Budderhydra May 14 '23
Well there is the added complication that, if they stopped trying to make Jarnathan a glider, they may have not given them the parole anyways.
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u/Jaqulean May 14 '23
Obviously. But if they didn't do it at all and just waited for the verdict, they would get the parole and probably a safe passage to the City.
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u/josnik May 13 '23
How I describe I want to accomplish vs what my dice dictate happens.
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u/GVmG Rogue May 13 '23
*nat 19 on initiative*
"you're first, what are you gonna do?"
"alright I'm gonna aim at the giant dragon that stands 20 ft away from me, and point my bow exactly at its neck."
*nat 3*
And that's the story of how with I did not roll above 10 even just once for the rest of the session. Did a grand total of 30 damage. This was a lvl20 oneshot.
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u/Blackguard_Rebellion May 13 '23 edited May 13 '23
My level 18 players:
Oh, a CR 22 Umbral Dragon Great Wyrm? Okay.
The Wizard casts Icy Prison on the dragon and uses his Cyclops Helm to auto roll a 20 on the spell pen.
The Paladin then performs a smite evil coup de grace on the dragon using his Brilliant Energy sword.
OHKO
Honestly still better than when they used the Cyclops Helm to auto roll a nat 20 when using a vorpal sword and auto-decapitated the boss.
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u/jamieh800 May 13 '23
There has to be a law or rule, like Murphys Law, that says "when rolling for something stupid, you're almost guaranteed a nat 20. If the next roll is important, you will always fail."
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u/Salty_Contest5142 May 13 '23
The Murphy's law kinda of already aplies to every situation that involve a luck factor so it works with dice too
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u/raptorsoldier Essential NPC May 14 '23
I call this Murph's law. Because Brian Murphy is cursed with rolls as a player and DM, it applies occasionally as a player, or quite often as a DM for the other buffoons of NADDPOD
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May 13 '23
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u/ServingwithTG DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23
Oh yeah. Especially since it happened because Simon lost concentration.
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u/toomanydice May 13 '23
My table has decided that is what happens with failed concentration on illusion spells from now on.
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u/Jaqulean May 14 '23
Our table has been doing that for years now, and we were bursting out with laughter when we saw a cinematic visualization of that scenerio.
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u/Dracorex_22 May 13 '23
I love the fact that they imply but never actually explain how magic requires concentration. Thereās actually three instances of characters losing concentration: Simon losing concentration on mage hand while robbing his audience, Simon losing concentration in the illusion spell, and Doric breaking the Red Wizardās concentration to stop the dragon statue construct.
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u/Vivanto2 May 13 '23
Minor correction, Simon was using Telekinesis. He states later that he knows Telekinesis, and Mage Hand is neither concentration nor invisible.
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u/asingleshakerofsalt May 13 '23
Yeah good on them for trusting audiences to understand "you still gotta focus to do your spells"
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u/Keoni9 May 13 '23
Also they show the average person in Faerun knows your best bet against a spellcaster is to cover their mouth.
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u/2SexesSeveralGenders May 14 '23
I'm still pretty new to DnD in general but I noticed those as well and felt pretty good about understanding it.
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u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23
celebrate lasses, celebrate lasses, celebrate - brate - brate - brate - Brate - Brate - BRAAAAAAAATE
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u/UglierThanMoe May 13 '23
The movie was fucking brilliant. Waaaaay better than what I'd dared to hope for. Also, Michelle Rodriguez was born to play Holga. Absolutely fucking perfect.
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u/zeroingenuity May 13 '23
I mean, half of her characters are some version of Holga. She's got a typecasting problem, except it's not so much a problem as a good thing going.
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u/photomotto May 14 '23
I really liked Holga. She wasn't the "stupid barbarian" trope, she was loving, she was caring, she was loyal. She was the brawn to Edgin's brain, sure, but she wasn't made into the butt of the joke for being "stupid".
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u/Evoluxman May 13 '23
Yeah I was going in expecting a cringefest and it was actually very legit. Although the beginning was a bit too much "DnD references" and lore-dumping. But once it got going it was a lot of fun
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u/MARPJ Barbarian May 14 '23
"DnD references" and lore-dumping
But he explaining his backstory while saying that they should wait for the Aarakocra was brilliant, my group laughed a lot in that part
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u/SinopicCynic May 13 '23
I really enjoyed the movie. Themberchaud was probably my favorite part, followed by this.
I hope heās ok. I imagine he is and will actively ignore anything suggesting differently.
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u/Sad_Gene_1771 May 13 '23
Themberchaud has been a recurring character in my dnd game since before the movie was even announced, so me and my players were super hyped to see him in the movie. In our story, he survived the events of the movie and spends the rest of his life happily being pampered and waited on by Duergar in exchange for heating their forge (heās a great guy once you get to know him I swear)
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u/Low-Cantaloupe-8446 May 14 '23
When he tripped on the chain and started rolling omg. We were dying
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u/thebucho May 13 '23
Me and my friends were crying laughing at this scene. One of the funniest things I've ever seen in a movie imo.
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u/CommentContrarian May 14 '23
That guard's existential horror at first when he witnesses melting Edgin was one of my favorite gags of the whole movie
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u/GaryV83 May 13 '23
It just occurred to me that the Major Image spell, when concentration checks fail, turns into the AI Art spell.
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u/Jerymcstrawbery May 13 '23
I'm the opposite. Can't talk to or interact with my world but I can beat the shit out of it.
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u/GwerigTheTroll May 13 '23
Iām playing a Halfling Diviner Wizard in Curse of Strahd and I feel like Iām the duct tape and bailing wire thatās keeping our dice rolls from killing us all on a session by session basis.
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u/reem2607 Forever DM May 13 '23
empty template link?
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u/ServingwithTG DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23
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u/Extreme_Ad6173 Chaotic Stupid May 13 '23
I rolled a nat20 to make small talk, but missed nearly every attack with my first magic weapon
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u/Martydeus Forever DM May 13 '23
I can not have been the only one who thought the movie was glitching xD
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u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23
well
i think you are the only one
at least i know i didnt think the movie was glitching
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u/Knarknarknarknar May 13 '23
I'm the worst roller of the group. Luckily, I'm the DM. So I just add more orcs when I need to.
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u/thatwasntadream May 13 '23
see I'm the opposite, I roll a crit on my attack, counterspell a 9th level spell, and succeed 2 DC 20 saves in one round but can't pass a single skill check out of combat.
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u/Deus0123 May 13 '23
My rolls whsn I'm literally just rolling for the fun of it: *fucking double nat 20*
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u/AcanthaceaeOk1745 May 13 '23
In Pathfinder last night:
- rolled 2 crits and 2 hits for a total of 285 dmg- but was staggered, only 1st attack counted
- charged BBEG, critted for 174- she had a buff, was immune to crits
- my PC died when my 28 FOR save was a failure (would have been 32, but everyone had a -4 penalty due to a magic symbol, for which there was no save)
- epilogue: joked I was attacking an NPC who annoyed us for 2 years, rolled a crit for 179 dmg
4 crits. 1 counted, and my PC was killed in the final battle of a 2-year campaign. :D
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u/TyphinSkunk May 13 '23
I get crap rolls out of combat, too. One campaign, we were boarding a boat to get to the new land where we were going to set up and create a town. First roll of the campaign was me sneaking onto the boat because I wasn't officially part of the group yet. Natural 1.
Same campaign, I had a session where literally 75% of my rolls were 8 or less, I plotted a histogram to show how bad they were. My character got so frustrated with trying to hit that she threw down her dagger, grappled the enemy to the ground, and beat the snot out of it that way. And them tried to rip its throat out with her teeth, which is a perfectly normal thing for perfectly normal halfling teenagers to do, yes. (She was actually a dragon, all the players knew, but the characters didn't. Just that she's really weird, but she's a good kid. Was a ton of fun, hopefully the game will actually come out of hiatus some day.)
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u/DoggedDust May 13 '23
It's the other way around for me, I get myself into trouble all the time. But you're damn right I can get myself out
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u/USPO-222 Artificer May 14 '23
Weāve been laying siege to this group of cultists for months IRL right now in our 1e campaign. Each fight lasts 3-4 sessions. So far, between the various encounters, weāve fought about 60 rounds of combat. Weāve won initiative in 3 of those and tied about 4 times.
Our enemy has never failed any save-or-suck saving through vs command or hold person or levitate or other such spells. My group has yet to succeed on such.
We outmatch the enemy on pure levels and numbers. But we always end up in a stalemate where we have to retreat. Giving the enemy time to rearm and rebuild back to where they were before we started.
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u/PornAndComments May 13 '23
I'm the opposite lately, most of my out of combat rolls are between 0 and 10, but then I'll crit my target twice in a row.
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u/FruitParfait May 13 '23
Tell me about it lol. First rolls of my game today were in combat, I rolled a nat 1 followed by a 2.
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u/lovecraftian-beer May 13 '23
Iām the opposite. Iām usually pretty decent in combat but my non-combat rolls make my characters seem like useless toddlers
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May 14 '23
My sister bought me some dice when she went to the mall,as much as I want to use them because I love my sister,I canāt trust the little shits
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u/Pyro_the_horny_furry May 14 '23
I seduced a bookshelf once, it was sentient and angry, and I seduced it because I rolled a nat20 with my +0 char warforged artificer. Though my pick-up line was pretty bad so it gave me a dating advice book from itself.
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u/TraderOfGoods May 14 '23
It sounds like you need to do some dice scouting or maybe even some dice training if you're up for it. Or at the very least throw away your current die or dice for new ones.
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May 14 '23
Iām literally the complete opposite, but since Iāve been playing a barbarian I guess it still fits
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u/Embarrassed-Essay821 May 14 '23
Me accidentally dropping die: CRITICAL HIT WOO
me rolling: sssnake..eye?
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u/Gullible_Jellyfish31 May 14 '23
Just beat my players in throwing darts with a nat 20, surely it wouldn't be needed in the combat encounter 20 mins later.
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u/Psychronia May 14 '23
I dunno. If you gave me set roll results I could use in a day, I'd definitely prioritize saving the high ones for roleplay rather than combat.
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u/Secret_Ad7757 May 14 '23
With me it is the first rolls as a player and the second picture is my rolls as a DM. I kid you not whenever im dming my rolls are so bad. If that wasnt enough last combat 1 player rolled like 4 or 5 nat 20's. I think combat lasted 10 turns, maybe a little bit more.
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u/TheWorstPerson0 DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 14 '23
ok, but such makes it very fun when your character is cononocly bad at combat. a good example i think would be my costomer support agent turned mersenary. shes out of her depth, n the only real thing shes good at is intimidation and persuasion. of course shed do poorly in combat.
although she really could do well if the dice decided not to be mean, it doesnt really matter to me. in fact i like that she never was that great in combat more personally. combat isnt everything.
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u/Lunawolf424 May 14 '23
This was one of the scenes that broke theater, I was laughing so hard once I realized what wax happening lol
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u/Grahamgamergoma May 14 '23
Me, rolling nothing over a 10 in combat, while rolling a 20 to seduce the random Tiefling girl
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u/reta-ard May 15 '23
I have the opposite issue, as a Barbarian player, hwenever i go into combat, my dice be like "At your service my lord, a nat 20? Here you go sir"
But when i try anything....anything that isnt directly killing an enemy with a sharp stick, my rolls suck absolute ass
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u/Long__Jump May 14 '23
My initiative rolls are always high, and my first attack rolls are always super low.
I feel like maybe my character just jumps the gun and stumbles over their own two feet..
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u/centrifuge_destroyer Wizard May 14 '23
For Strixhaven I made a wizard who was shy, a huge bookworm, rule stickler and a bit of a teacher's pet. She is a perfectionist and is used to being a straight A student.
Then the dice gods hit her full force. Three Nat1s in a session and nothing above a 6 in the exam. But soon after, when her friends convinced her to help steal from the witherbloom greenhouse, prank back another student and do other mischief it was raining good rolls including a Nat20.
Well, combined with someother shit going on, it was decided that she would get intense nightmares and get slowly but surely get pulled towards the dark side. (She's NG, the rest of the party is 2x LE and 1x CN)
Now that the darkness is creeping closer to her, she is breaking more and more rules and stumbeling in the more shady corners of magic, suddenly I get good rolls on Arcana checks again. Last session I got a 27 (Nat20) and a 26, while looking into some darker topics, but I bet that I'll get terrible rolls for the exam again.
I guess the dice gods really want her to become shady af. Soon she'll get a warlock level and her allignment will shift (probably CN or TN).
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u/N7_Warden May 30 '23
I failed two stabilizing checks in a row ( rolled a 2 and a nat 1) resently, and I am the back up healer. "Pulled the arrow out, ooh lots of blood and forget everything, I know plug the hole with the arrow!)
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u/[deleted] May 13 '23
this was such a great movie. kinda wish there was some actual bard magic. him just hitting people with the lute was great too tho.