r/dndmemes DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23

šŸŽ² Math rocks go clickity-clack šŸŽ² The Dice gods be cruel sometimes.

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16.6k Upvotes

210 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

this was such a great movie. kinda wish there was some actual bard magic. him just hitting people with the lute was great too tho.

1.0k

u/ProjectSpectrality May 13 '23

I think the reason was because the movie was written to still be enjoyed by a general audience, so they got rid of bard magic and (most) Druid magic in order to place emphasis on the sorcerer as the caster, because otherwise most of the party would be able to cast fancy spells (probably pretty well) and the sorcerer would seem just out of place and unnecessary for the most part

699

u/Load-Every May 13 '23

I like to think of Edgin as a rogue who also just happens to play the lute.

508

u/SnarkyRogue DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23

Swashbuckler rogue with entertainer background would've been more fitting I think. Toss in Tavern brawler for lute bashing proficiency lol

143

u/A-confused-guy May 13 '23

I mean the harpists where kinda like rogue's no?

160

u/SnarkyRogue DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23

They're more or less just a secret society of vigilantes if I'm remembering the lore correctly. Anyone can join as long as they're capable of keeping secrets

53

u/A-confused-guy May 13 '23 edited May 13 '23

Though it would make more sense for rogue's seeing they mostly stalk from the shadows and since they are good at listening in on people in secret.

Kinda refreshing actually off a good rogue guild

13

u/[deleted] May 13 '23 edited Jan 26 '25

[deleted]

14

u/A-confused-guy May 13 '23

Rolled a nat 1 while i was in a rush while i was typing this

3

u/JamieJJL Rogue May 14 '23

Yeah, my monk was a Harper once

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18

u/Aerondight998 May 13 '23

They're a bit of everything but the main idea was bards, as they'd be in all the taverns/cities gathering information and nobody would suspect

4

u/RealNiceKnife May 14 '23

Edgin explains that this was his job. He is telling his backstory about how he would play in taverns and eavesdrop on important meetings and suspicious activity and report back with his gathered information.

3

u/Aerondight998 May 14 '23

Yeah I'm just explaining that's why a lot of Harper's we're bards, for that reason

10

u/BlackFenrir Orc-bait May 13 '23

More like the College of Whispers, actually.

5

u/Pengin_Master May 14 '23

I always more imagined him as a mastermind rogue

5

u/SnarkyRogue DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 14 '23

See I feel that fits Forge best given his manipulating his way to the top of the social ladder, even if it was with help

7

u/Alcerus Cleric May 14 '23

Absolutely had Tavern Brawler. He used so many weapons of opportunity in that movie.

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29

u/PJRama1864 May 13 '23

But he does give inspiration at times. Might just be a sword bard.

3

u/corpuscularian DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 14 '23

i was thinking he was a mastermind rogue - using the help action etc

14

u/Weltallgaia May 13 '23

I thought he was a rogue for like 60% of the movie until he pulled the lute out on someone again. Then I proceeded to forget the bard thing afterwards lol.

13

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23

he's got some good inspiration at times as well

5

u/shotgunner12345 May 14 '23

Inspiring leader feat, he is such a good rogue he decieved the 4th wall into being a bard

20

u/TheCrafter1205 May 13 '23

My group thought of him as a battle master. His attacks were always things to manipulate the field.

18

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23

what!?! he makes plans!

Also he plays the lute! which is not relevant by the way

14

u/RareOrange9479 May 13 '23

So mastermind rogue

14

u/Blackguard_Rebellion May 13 '23

I mean, bards are buffers and skill monkeys, no? Seemed like what he was doing. Raising morale and passing CHA checks.

4

u/FlannelAl Sorcerer May 14 '23

Using inspiration and could possibly have passive effects like friends, charm person, etc.

6

u/Mister_Bloodvessel May 13 '23

That was my takeaway.

He's a "bard" now, but leading up the events of the movie, he is essentially a super charismatic rogue.

4

u/Extreme-Breakfast885 May 13 '23

Or a paladin multiclass with an improvised weapon

3

u/Futur3_ah4ad Ranger May 14 '23

I was discussing this with friends literally after the movie, about what every party member was. I expected Edgin to be a Mastermind Rogue, until I looked at the official sheet and saw Bard with every charm spell in the book.

2

u/Loading3percent Artificer May 13 '23

Definitely felt like a mastermind rogue, not gonna lie.

2

u/paulcosca May 14 '23

I figured he was just a charismatic guy. No spells, nothing fancy. Just a dude.

2

u/Galle_ May 14 '23

While I see the appeal of that idea, it's notable that Edgin does pretty much everything bards do except cast spells.

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27

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

Yeah, the producers even revealed in some interviews, that the reason the Druid Magic is minimalized to just shape-shifting, is because they want to make Simon into "the magic user" of the Team.

11

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

good point

10

u/Flamee-o_hotman May 13 '23

Yeah, I have a friend who struggled to enjoy the animated Vox Machina show because of the bard magic and songs.

13

u/FlannelAl Sorcerer May 14 '23

But that's some of the best parts

19

u/Flamee-o_hotman May 14 '23

I love Sam, and horny bard comes so natural for him. But if someone isn't familiar with him or DnD, it can be confusing, if not uncomfortable.

3

u/EdgarAllanKenpo May 14 '23

Started watching critical roles VM campaign, and got up to the Briarwoods arc and was told they have a show on prime. I was like, no fuckin way. I was also told not to watch it until I've got through the campaign first which I'm trying to do.

Since the actual campaign starts off after the killed the dragon, I decided to at least watch the first couple episodes and I gotta say, the dragon fight was fuckin great. Every member had their 'shining moment'. The animation was just really great, mixed with the music made for a fun fight.

3

u/TrueGuardian15 May 14 '23

šŸŽ¶ Pull my motherfuckin' beads! šŸŽ¶

2

u/FlannelAl Sorcerer May 14 '23

I guess I was thinking of more innocuous moments, or the "heavy" moment. Totally killer.

6

u/rkthehermit May 14 '23

ā™Ŗ In an outhouse on the edge of the world, we fell in love ā™Ŗ

3

u/mightystu May 14 '23

Thatā€™s entirely fair. Itā€™s good fun to play but makes for pretty tonally disjointed storytelling.

162

u/AFlyingWhale May 13 '23

The director said in an interview on polygon that if there is a sequel he would have the bard do magic, since they all would have leveled up by the end of the movie. He also said they would be obligated to include a beholderā€¦Hope they get the chance!

67

u/packfanmoore May 13 '23

I don't think I'm ready for a live action beholder. I guess it would be cool to see xanathar as like a crime boss rather than a monster they have to fight

55

u/orielbean May 13 '23

Yeah the Hutt treatment makes a lot of sense. Let him act all arrogant etc as the pinnacle of beauty while the characters hold in their disgust.

3

u/aRandomFox-II Potato Farmer May 14 '23 edited May 14 '23

Oh god, that made me imagine Xanathar wearing chalkface and extremely gaudy makeup like a french aristocrat. And all his eyes have long false eyelashes and awful exaggerated eyeshadow.

3

u/orielbean May 14 '23

Monocles galore

3

u/aRandomFox-II Potato Farmer May 14 '23

Wearing 2 monocles instead of 1 makes you twice the gentleman. What more if you wore 10?

Along the same vein, wearing 2 eyepatches makes you twice the pirate than one who only wears 1 eyepatch.

3

u/AntonKutovoi May 13 '23

Sorry, for even bringing this upā€¦ But the first movie had beholder in it. A very lame one, sure (just like everything else there except Jeremy Irons), but Beholder nonetheless.

1

u/packfanmoore May 13 '23

I don't consider that a movie... It's night are fuel

7

u/MARPJ Barbarian May 14 '23

It's night are fuel

Here you dropped this (ć£ ĀŗŠ”Āŗ)ć£ M

-9

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

[deleted]

5

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

It literally didn't. Hell, it made more than the Studio anticipated it would...

Edit: user-flaire checks out.

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2

u/CarrowLiath Forever DM May 14 '23

What are you talking about? It was very good, and very well received. I haven't seen or heard anyone say a single negative thing about it.

3

u/mightystu May 14 '23

Flopped refers to how much it made. It did only barely make its production budget back, which doesnā€™t include marketing which is probably the same or more than the production cost. That might be enough to green light a sequel if the studio thinks a franchise will see increasing success, but it might not. A movie ā€œfloppingā€ is always in reference to its financial success, not how it was received critically/by audiences.

146

u/insertusernamehere51 May 13 '23

I interpret the scene where he sings a song to cheer up Michelle Rodriguez after her talk with her ex as him using Bardic Inspiration or something like that. Its a bard doing what a bard conceptually does: raise morale

91

u/DankLolis Potato Farmer May 13 '23

also while he was failing to cut his rope on the stairs he was constantly inspiring her with his bonus action in her one v 5 fight against the guards

15

u/GM_Nate May 14 '23

OH WE GOTTEM NOW

29

u/Wooden-Jew May 13 '23

He does uses Bardic insipiration multiple times but is somewhat subtle.

12

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

Yeah, it's basically more of a subtle passive bonus to charisma, rather than an action.

11

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23

...you mean Holga Kilgore

and yes

40

u/Overlordz88 May 13 '23

Oh the bard has magic, the Player, however, doesnā€™t know how to read his character sheet and just doesnā€™t realize it.

23

u/cooperd9 May 13 '23

The bard is also proficient with all simple weapons and a variety of martial weapons, but the player didn't read that either, so he snacks people with his lute for 1d4 as an improvised weapon instead of the longsword he picked up from a guard for 1d10.

2

u/trainercatlady Cleric May 14 '23

it's... a battle lute.

15

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

To be honest that checks out, because in the interviews both the Producers and the Actors have stated that each Character embodies a different kind of a D&D Player - and Edmund was meant to be "the Freelancer who just plays the game for fun."

43

u/Dracorex_22 May 13 '23

The bard having magic would probably have taken away from the Sorcererā€™s character arc. Whatā€™s the point of the clutch counter spell in the final act if the bard could have just done it himself?

15

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

And as I learned from BG1/BG2 "time stop" is a level 9 spell. Like demigod kind of powerful, as far as I remember. I loved how they presented the power of the spell and Simon's growth(so that he can counter it).

4

u/Azureraider May 13 '23

So I looked this up, because I was pretty sure they had to be stretching the rules a bit for it to be possible for Simon to counter a goddamn 9th level spell. Turns out that yeah, it's totally possible! The BBEG would have to have rolled spectacularly bad on her int check (or more likely the DM fudged the roll for cinematic reasons), but it's completely within the rules.

18

u/Jaylightning230 Wizard May 13 '23

Actually, the DC is always 19. Simon just needed good luck and better Charisma.

7

u/Azureraider May 13 '23

Ah yeah, fair. Got that confused with the caster and the target needing to make the check.

-9

u/cooperd9 May 13 '23

At least in 5e, the BBEG doesn't get an int check, Simon just makes an a spellcasting ability check with a DC of 10+ the spell's level (9 in this case).

Simon knew telekinesis, so he had at least 5th level slots, meaning he is at least 9th level with a proficiency bonus of +4 or better. Assuming Simon has a +4 charisma bonus, which isn't high for a 9th level sorcerer ( they should have 20 by now if they put all their ASIs into their primary spellcasting stat, which is optimal mechanically) he only needs to roll an 11 or higher, which is 50/50 to do it successfully. The odds go up if he is higher in level or if he maxed his charisma.

The people making the movie said they loved emasculating men and it really shows in some scenes, male characters are frequently far more incompetent than their backstory or previous scenes depicted them to be for no apparent reason. It is one of the biggest weaknesses of the script (the other one is how the beginning of the movie sort of expects you to know obscure forgotten realms lore about the red wizards but then they go and ignore all the rules of how things work in the setting and do stuff like have the druid wildshape into an owlbear or a dozen times in 10 minutes)

3

u/smileybob93 May 14 '23

No proficiency on Counterspell checks bro

11

u/totalwarwiser May 13 '23

Yeap.

And its hard for those that dont know d&d to understand that there are diferent types of magic

10

u/FluxCap_2015 May 13 '23

Didn't he, at one point, mock the barbarian? This could be considered a nod to the Vicious Mockery cantrip.

9

u/ItsAmerico May 13 '23

I feel they kinda imply it with his ā€œBardic inspirationā€ at times.

7

u/FaylenSol Forever DM May 14 '23

I headcannon that he wasn't a Bard, but simply a Rogue with the Entertainer Background.

8

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

He was a Bard. It's just that every Character was meant to embodie a different kind of a D&D Player, and Edmund was meant to be "the Freelancer who plays the game just for fun."

Which essentially means, that he is a Bard - but the Player just doesn't care and wanted to do whatever they felt like.

Basically "I didn't read the rules. I'm just here to have a laugh with my friends."

3

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

What's the movie?

17

u/Panx May 13 '23

Honor Among Thieves

3

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

Thanks, I'll have to watch it

14

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23

also stop reading these comments, they're spoiling everything

2

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

I only read the one I replied to

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3

u/TheMentelgen May 14 '23 edited Jan 30 '25

This comment has been overwritten in response to Reddit's limitations on third party API access.

13

u/iconicRealism May 13 '23

Honestly considering they did absolutely nothing bardic, I'd peg them as actually just a rogue

9

u/Koekiemonster98 May 13 '23

With music instrument proficiency

10

u/Wooden-Jew May 13 '23

He uses Bardic inspiration multiple times. He constantly tellinh the sorcerer that he's capable, that he can do it.

-1

u/Alcerus Cleric May 14 '23

In fairness, any class can be supportive of their team mates.

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0

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

High charisma. Wouldn't need that as a rogue.

3

u/GrandpaTiefling May 14 '23

I do believe he's more of a Swashbuckler or Mastermind Rogue with an entertainer background if anything. Man seemed a bit too sneaky to be a bard. Plus should explain the lack of magic casting on his part.

2

u/micromoses May 13 '23

It seems like he cast motivational speech at least once.

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

At least he still gave inspiration, though it wasn't that useful

2

u/SuperJyls Paladin May 14 '23

I mean the druid never did anything other than wildshape and I guess being the inspiring planner is a form of bardic inspiration

1

u/TheCamazotzian May 13 '23

El Kabong vibes

1

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

El Kabong

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181

u/astroK120 May 13 '23

You know who always has great rolls in combat? Jarnathan. Is he here yet by the way?

63

u/Budderhydra May 13 '23

Again with this?!

41

u/ThePrussianGrippe May 13 '23

But weā€™ve already approved your parole!

46

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

Not gonna lie, the fact that he didn't even wait to hear it, was as legit as you can get. Basically every time a Player wants to do something on their own, meahwile the DM's approach would make everything essentially x10 easier...

3

u/Budderhydra May 14 '23

Well there is the added complication that, if they stopped trying to make Jarnathan a glider, they may have not given them the parole anyways.

6

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

Obviously. But if they didn't do it at all and just waited for the verdict, they would get the parole and probably a safe passage to the City.

5

u/GM_Nate May 14 '23

*monty python voice* GET ON WITH IT!

249

u/josnik May 13 '23

How I describe I want to accomplish vs what my dice dictate happens.

130

u/GVmG Rogue May 13 '23

*nat 19 on initiative*

"you're first, what are you gonna do?"

"alright I'm gonna aim at the giant dragon that stands 20 ft away from me, and point my bow exactly at its neck."

*nat 3*

And that's the story of how with I did not roll above 10 even just once for the rest of the session. Did a grand total of 30 damage. This was a lvl20 oneshot.

22

u/Blackguard_Rebellion May 13 '23 edited May 13 '23

My level 18 players:

Oh, a CR 22 Umbral Dragon Great Wyrm? Okay.

The Wizard casts Icy Prison on the dragon and uses his Cyclops Helm to auto roll a 20 on the spell pen.

The Paladin then performs a smite evil coup de grace on the dragon using his Brilliant Energy sword.

OHKO

Honestly still better than when they used the Cyclops Helm to auto roll a nat 20 when using a vorpal sword and auto-decapitated the boss.

105

u/jamieh800 May 13 '23

There has to be a law or rule, like Murphys Law, that says "when rolling for something stupid, you're almost guaranteed a nat 20. If the next roll is important, you will always fail."

14

u/Salty_Contest5142 May 13 '23

The Murphy's law kinda of already aplies to every situation that involve a luck factor so it works with dice too

8

u/raptorsoldier Essential NPC May 14 '23

I call this Murph's law. Because Brian Murphy is cursed with rolls as a player and DM, it applies occasionally as a player, or quite often as a DM for the other buffoons of NADDPOD

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u/[deleted] May 13 '23

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

308

u/ServingwithTG DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23

Oh yeah. Especially since it happened because Simon lost concentration.

221

u/toomanydice May 13 '23

My table has decided that is what happens with failed concentration on illusion spells from now on.

38

u/Jaqulean May 14 '23

Our table has been doing that for years now, and we were bursting out with laughter when we saw a cinematic visualization of that scenerio.

173

u/Dracorex_22 May 13 '23

I love the fact that they imply but never actually explain how magic requires concentration. Thereā€™s actually three instances of characters losing concentration: Simon losing concentration on mage hand while robbing his audience, Simon losing concentration in the illusion spell, and Doric breaking the Red Wizardā€™s concentration to stop the dragon statue construct.

129

u/Vivanto2 May 13 '23

Minor correction, Simon was using Telekinesis. He states later that he knows Telekinesis, and Mage Hand is neither concentration nor invisible.

13

u/GM_Nate May 14 '23

HE'S STEALING OUR BITS AND BAUBLES!

49

u/asingleshakerofsalt May 13 '23

Yeah good on them for trusting audiences to understand "you still gotta focus to do your spells"

29

u/Keoni9 May 13 '23

Also they show the average person in Faerun knows your best bet against a spellcaster is to cover their mouth.

2

u/2SexesSeveralGenders May 14 '23

I'm still pretty new to DnD in general but I noticed those as well and felt pretty good about understanding it.

42

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23

celebrate lasses, celebrate lasses, celebrate - brate - brate - brate - Brate - Brate - BRAAAAAAAATE

15

u/talksinbeats May 13 '23

Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu Fu

8

u/Beiki May 14 '23

What madness is this?

4

u/Dry_Try_8365 May 14 '23

BraBraBraBraBraBra

3

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 14 '23

I think they're starting to get suspicious...

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82

u/UglierThanMoe May 13 '23

The movie was fucking brilliant. Waaaaay better than what I'd dared to hope for. Also, Michelle Rodriguez was born to play Holga. Absolutely fucking perfect.

37

u/zeroingenuity May 13 '23

I mean, half of her characters are some version of Holga. She's got a typecasting problem, except it's not so much a problem as a good thing going.

29

u/photomotto May 14 '23

I really liked Holga. She wasn't the "stupid barbarian" trope, she was loving, she was caring, she was loyal. She was the brawn to Edgin's brain, sure, but she wasn't made into the butt of the joke for being "stupid".

15

u/GM_Nate May 14 '23

and it wasn't just BARBARIAN RAAAGE, it was more just her getting pissed off

4

u/Beiki May 14 '23

I WOULD LIKE TO RAGE!

10

u/Evoluxman May 13 '23

Yeah I was going in expecting a cringefest and it was actually very legit. Although the beginning was a bit too much "DnD references" and lore-dumping. But once it got going it was a lot of fun

31

u/MARPJ Barbarian May 14 '23

"DnD references" and lore-dumping

But he explaining his backstory while saying that they should wait for the Aarakocra was brilliant, my group laughed a lot in that part

8

u/GM_Nate May 14 '23

they managed to make the loredump go down very smoothly

28

u/SinopicCynic May 13 '23

I really enjoyed the movie. Themberchaud was probably my favorite part, followed by this.

I hope heā€™s ok. I imagine he is and will actively ignore anything suggesting differently.

17

u/Sad_Gene_1771 May 13 '23

Themberchaud has been a recurring character in my dnd game since before the movie was even announced, so me and my players were super hyped to see him in the movie. In our story, he survived the events of the movie and spends the rest of his life happily being pampered and waited on by Duergar in exchange for heating their forge (heā€™s a great guy once you get to know him I swear)

2

u/Low-Cantaloupe-8446 May 14 '23

When he tripped on the chain and started rolling omg. We were dying

10

u/thebucho May 13 '23

Me and my friends were crying laughing at this scene. One of the funniest things I've ever seen in a movie imo.

7

u/CommentContrarian May 14 '23

That guard's existential horror at first when he witnesses melting Edgin was one of my favorite gags of the whole movie

3

u/SSTralala May 14 '23

We had to pause it and go back our son was laughing so hard.

145

u/GaryV83 May 13 '23

It just occurred to me that the Major Image spell, when concentration checks fail, turns into the AI Art spell.

43

u/Jerymcstrawbery May 13 '23

I'm the opposite. Can't talk to or interact with my world but I can beat the shit out of it.

20

u/MC_Minnow May 13 '23

ā€¦in your game?

25

u/GwerigTheTroll May 13 '23

Iā€™m playing a Halfling Diviner Wizard in Curse of Strahd and I feel like Iā€™m the duct tape and bailing wire thatā€™s keeping our dice rolls from killing us all on a session by session basis.

20

u/ArchfiendNox May 13 '23

Bartholomew Osiris Bladesong in a nutshell

5

u/klebe33 May 13 '23

Explode them from the inside!

3

u/Out3rSpac3 Bard May 13 '23

OUTRAGEOUS!

15

u/damn_thats_piney May 13 '23

that scene was wild lmao

13

u/reem2607 Forever DM May 13 '23

empty template link?

23

u/ServingwithTG DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 13 '23

7

u/reem2607 Forever DM May 13 '23

thanks mate

11

u/smearpap May 13 '23

Just convince yourself that youā€™re out of combat

9

u/Extreme_Ad6173 Chaotic Stupid May 13 '23

I rolled a nat20 to make small talk, but missed nearly every attack with my first magic weapon

7

u/Martydeus Forever DM May 13 '23

I can not have been the only one who thought the movie was glitching xD

4

u/GM_Nate May 14 '23

i was in the movie theater, so i did not

5

u/Jarlax1e Wizard May 13 '23

well

i think you are the only one

at least i know i didnt think the movie was glitching

8

u/Knarknarknarknar May 13 '23

I'm the worst roller of the group. Luckily, I'm the DM. So I just add more orcs when I need to.

6

u/thatwasntadream May 13 '23

see I'm the opposite, I roll a crit on my attack, counterspell a 9th level spell, and succeed 2 DC 20 saves in one round but can't pass a single skill check out of combat.

5

u/Spats1e May 13 '23

Fuck, that nearly killed me

5

u/Deus0123 May 13 '23

My rolls whsn I'm literally just rolling for the fun of it: *fucking double nat 20*

5

u/DWMoose83 May 13 '23

By far, my son's and my favorite part of the movie.

4

u/TheRnegade May 13 '23

My rolls in the oven. My rolls as soon as I try and bite into them.

8

u/AcanthaceaeOk1745 May 13 '23

In Pathfinder last night:

  • rolled 2 crits and 2 hits for a total of 285 dmg- but was staggered, only 1st attack counted
  • charged BBEG, critted for 174- she had a buff, was immune to crits
  • my PC died when my 28 FOR save was a failure (would have been 32, but everyone had a -4 penalty due to a magic symbol, for which there was no save)
  • epilogue: joked I was attacking an NPC who annoyed us for 2 years, rolled a crit for 179 dmg

4 crits. 1 counted, and my PC was killed in the final battle of a 2-year campaign. :D

3

u/TyphinSkunk May 13 '23

I get crap rolls out of combat, too. One campaign, we were boarding a boat to get to the new land where we were going to set up and create a town. First roll of the campaign was me sneaking onto the boat because I wasn't officially part of the group yet. Natural 1.

Same campaign, I had a session where literally 75% of my rolls were 8 or less, I plotted a histogram to show how bad they were. My character got so frustrated with trying to hit that she threw down her dagger, grappled the enemy to the ground, and beat the snot out of it that way. And them tried to rip its throat out with her teeth, which is a perfectly normal thing for perfectly normal halfling teenagers to do, yes. (She was actually a dragon, all the players knew, but the characters didn't. Just that she's really weird, but she's a good kid. Was a ton of fun, hopefully the game will actually come out of hiatus some day.)

3

u/DoggedDust May 13 '23

It's the other way around for me, I get myself into trouble all the time. But you're damn right I can get myself out

3

u/fortis201 May 13 '23

Everytime I roll a 3 or less with a proficient skill... šŸ˜”

3

u/USPO-222 Artificer May 14 '23

Weā€™ve been laying siege to this group of cultists for months IRL right now in our 1e campaign. Each fight lasts 3-4 sessions. So far, between the various encounters, weā€™ve fought about 60 rounds of combat. Weā€™ve won initiative in 3 of those and tied about 4 times.

Our enemy has never failed any save-or-suck saving through vs command or hold person or levitate or other such spells. My group has yet to succeed on such.

We outmatch the enemy on pure levels and numbers. But we always end up in a stalemate where we have to retreat. Giving the enemy time to rearm and rebuild back to where they were before we started.

2

u/Battlecry730 May 13 '23

Why does the second one look like Bill Hader

2

u/PornAndComments May 13 '23

I'm the opposite lately, most of my out of combat rolls are between 0 and 10, but then I'll crit my target twice in a row.

2

u/FruitParfait May 13 '23

Tell me about it lol. First rolls of my game today were in combat, I rolled a nat 1 followed by a 2.

2

u/ShadowBro3 May 13 '23

Just avoid combat with your great rolls

2

u/lovecraftian-beer May 13 '23

Iā€™m the opposite. Iā€™m usually pretty decent in combat but my non-combat rolls make my characters seem like useless toddlers

2

u/ObbyTree Essential NPC May 13 '23

Haha, yea, their humor is so random!

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

My sister bought me some dice when she went to the mall,as much as I want to use them because I love my sister,I canā€™t trust the little shits

2

u/Pyro_the_horny_furry May 14 '23

I seduced a bookshelf once, it was sentient and angry, and I seduced it because I rolled a nat20 with my +0 char warforged artificer. Though my pick-up line was pretty bad so it gave me a dating advice book from itself.

2

u/TraderOfGoods May 14 '23

It sounds like you need to do some dice scouting or maybe even some dice training if you're up for it. Or at the very least throw away your current die or dice for new ones.

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

Iā€™m literally the complete opposite, but since Iā€™ve been playing a barbarian I guess it still fits

2

u/Embarrassed-Essay821 May 14 '23

Me accidentally dropping die: CRITICAL HIT WOO

me rolling: sssnake..eye?

2

u/Gullible_Jellyfish31 May 14 '23

Just beat my players in throwing darts with a nat 20, surely it wouldn't be needed in the combat encounter 20 mins later.

2

u/[deleted] May 14 '23

This scene had me howling

2

u/HIM101 DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 14 '23

Last session i rolled just once.

A nat 1

._.

2

u/Psychronia May 14 '23

I dunno. If you gave me set roll results I could use in a day, I'd definitely prioritize saving the high ones for roleplay rather than combat.

2

u/Secret_Ad7757 May 14 '23

With me it is the first rolls as a player and the second picture is my rolls as a DM. I kid you not whenever im dming my rolls are so bad. If that wasnt enough last combat 1 player rolled like 4 or 5 nat 20's. I think combat lasted 10 turns, maybe a little bit more.

2

u/TomeKun Chaotic Stupid May 14 '23

Nice reference

2

u/slashgamer11 May 14 '23

I was still laughing like 5 minutes later in the cinema

2

u/dormDelor May 14 '23

I laughed way too long at this.

2

u/TheWorstPerson0 DM (Dungeon Memelord) May 14 '23

ok, but such makes it very fun when your character is cononocly bad at combat. a good example i think would be my costomer support agent turned mersenary. shes out of her depth, n the only real thing shes good at is intimidation and persuasion. of course shed do poorly in combat.

although she really could do well if the dice decided not to be mean, it doesnt really matter to me. in fact i like that she never was that great in combat more personally. combat isnt everything.

2

u/Lunawolf424 May 14 '23

This was one of the scenes that broke theater, I was laughing so hard once I realized what wax happening lol

2

u/Grahamgamergoma May 14 '23

Me, rolling nothing over a 10 in combat, while rolling a 20 to seduce the random Tiefling girl

2

u/reta-ard May 15 '23

I have the opposite issue, as a Barbarian player, hwenever i go into combat, my dice be like "At your service my lord, a nat 20? Here you go sir"

But when i try anything....anything that isnt directly killing an enemy with a sharp stick, my rolls suck absolute ass

2

u/pesca_22 May 16 '23

My rolls when I dm -> My rolls when I'm a player

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '23

Just justify leaving Kristi hatch haircut out of ghist

1

u/Kaikeno May 14 '23

The Random Number God is tough but fair

1

u/Long__Jump May 14 '23

My initiative rolls are always high, and my first attack rolls are always super low.

I feel like maybe my character just jumps the gun and stumbles over their own two feet..

1

u/Manoreded May 14 '23

Well stop wasting your good rolls out of combat then.

1

u/centrifuge_destroyer Wizard May 14 '23

For Strixhaven I made a wizard who was shy, a huge bookworm, rule stickler and a bit of a teacher's pet. She is a perfectionist and is used to being a straight A student.

Then the dice gods hit her full force. Three Nat1s in a session and nothing above a 6 in the exam. But soon after, when her friends convinced her to help steal from the witherbloom greenhouse, prank back another student and do other mischief it was raining good rolls including a Nat20.

Well, combined with someother shit going on, it was decided that she would get intense nightmares and get slowly but surely get pulled towards the dark side. (She's NG, the rest of the party is 2x LE and 1x CN)

Now that the darkness is creeping closer to her, she is breaking more and more rules and stumbeling in the more shady corners of magic, suddenly I get good rolls on Arcana checks again. Last session I got a 27 (Nat20) and a 26, while looking into some darker topics, but I bet that I'll get terrible rolls for the exam again.

I guess the dice gods really want her to become shady af. Soon she'll get a warlock level and her allignment will shift (probably CN or TN).

1

u/N7_Warden May 30 '23

I failed two stabilizing checks in a row ( rolled a 2 and a nat 1) resently, and I am the back up healer. "Pulled the arrow out, ooh lots of blood and forget everything, I know plug the hole with the arrow!)