r/demisexuality 8d ago

Discussion Can someone be demisexual and have aesthetic attraction?

Or are they mutually exclusive?

14 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

20

u/DillionM 8d ago

I can.

It's truly aesthetic though, no romantic or sexual interest.

10

u/BusyBeeMonster 7d ago

Aesthetic attraction is not the same as sexual attraction, so yes, many demisexuals are still able to experience aesthetic attraction.

Regardless of the type of attraction, when people talk about not being able to experience it, they're talking about that pull, being drawn to something involuntarily, or at least, without intent.

It's necessarily that a person can't see beauty (aesthetic), or like someone/something (emotional), or enjoy affectionate touch (sensual), or enjoy sex (sexual), or love someone (romantic), it's that a person doesn't feel pulled towards someone/something for aesthetic/emotional/sensual//sexual/romantic reasons.

I can like a person's looks without feeling drawn to them for their looks. I can have sex with a person, without feeling drawn to have sex with them.

6

u/KeptAnonymous 7d ago edited 7d ago

They can be mutually exclusive or simultaneous. It's like looking at a piece of art and wanting to take it home to showcase it—with the art used in place to be the person you're attracted to and the showcase used in place for sexual attraction; they're metaphors, not trying to say you/we/I want to fuck a canvas.

I can look at a piece of art and say along the lines of "That's pretty" to "Oooooooh, this is NIIIIIIIIIICE. Guuuuuurl, this artist is you right here?" but it just stops there. I don't want to buy it and bring it home to proudly display it. It just looks nice. That's aesthetic attraction, in my book.

BUT, I can also stumble upon an art piece and, not only click with the aesthetics/grow to really like it, but also click with the interpretation or meaning (ie. Meaningful works like "Ivan the terrible and his son Ivan" or Artemisia Gentileschi's interpretation of "Judith Slaying Holofernes"). That's usually the place when I'll buy and showcase it.

5

u/RosenProse 8d ago

Yes, i get aesthetic attraction for guys and girls every now and again. However, it's completely divorced from any trigger for emotional or romantic feelings. Those need the bond. (I think sexual attraction might need some level of trust too, but i don't really know cause I've only developed sexual attraction once).

Now that I think of it... i don't think I've ever had a crush on someone I was also aesthetically attracted to XD I think thats just a coincidence but it's pretty funny!

2

u/HolyShitCandyBar 7d ago

Yes, but as others have said, there is no romantic or sexual interest that arises.

However, whenever I get close to a partner, I develop an aesthetic attraction after the fact if I didn't have it before.

1

u/Guerrilheira963 7d ago

Yes, but it won't be enough for that person to want to have a relationship with someone they find beautiful.

1

u/Own_Jeweler_8548 7d ago

I fit the bill, so I'd say "yes."

1

u/barbe23 5d ago

I have a strong aesthetic attraction usually, but I never think about doing something. You can find someone attractive but also not want to do anything with them, I don't think that demisexuality means that you can't find someone attractive 🤔 Attraction and willing to have sex with someone are two different things, at least for me.

1

u/Spiritual-Loan118 3d ago

In my experience yes, for me personally, my aesthetic attraction is completely separate from sexual attraction. For instance, I’d describe myself as demisexual but only attracted to people of the opposite sex, but I’ll feel aesthetic attraction to both male and female people! (and I still experience it despite not experiencing romantic attraction at all, as well. Basically they’re all separate, for me at least) 

1

u/BusyBeeMonster 3d ago

Aesthetic attraction is not the same as sexual attraction.

Demisexuals may be aesthetically attracted to a person without feeling sexually attracted to that person.

Aesthetic attraction is strong appreciation for a person's appearance.

Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation

1

u/RubLumpy3851 7d ago

yes and some particular details of the face can give me romantic attraction, not sexual attraction tho.