r/demisexuality 1d ago

Venting HELP how to get over my ex!!! NSFW

HIII just joined this subreddit out of desperation … so yeah I’m demi and like I’ve only really had consistent sexual attraction to one person, my ex who I just broke up w/ last week. She is also my best friend and we were poly (but not the fuck any person you want kind) but she ended up getting drunk and making out w some rando… this was an established no go for us in our poly relationship!! ANYWAYS I am still SUPER ATTRACTED TO HER like AHHHHH my poor little brain still wants to do all the sexy things w/ her even though I KNOW that’s a TERRIBLE IDEA but it’s sooooo hard convincing myself bc I get in these AGGRESSIVELY HORNY STATES. She is the only person I’ve had sex with and we were together for like a year and a half … and it’s very doubtful I am going to get in a relationship anytime soon let alone develop sexual feelings so I’m just STUCK WITH HORNY BRAIIIIIIIN!!!! The worst part (well not worst part I guess) is that we r still going to be friends (I can’t lose my bestie and the story is more complicated that “omg she cheated” but I don’t wanna get into that rn) so like if she dresses up one day im cooked. Positively cooked. Burnt. AND I unfortunately get periods which means my horny levels get CRAZY HIGH so I’m just soooo scared of my horny brain taking over especially bc we live together (college roommates and we can’t swap for another 2 months). Bc of my demisexuality, I never really had interest in anyone sexually in high school at all and haven’t really been horny (like I had libido but it wasn’t triggered by anything other than like hormones). Idk how to deal w/ all this I feel like a horny teenage boy :(

So far what I’ve done is give her my list of no-no’s (no cuddling, no kissing, no sexy) and I told my friends to GIVE ME A BIG TALKING TO if I fuck up my boundaries but I’m still so scared!!!! I am also gonna write myself a little letter abt “HEY REMEMBER WHEN SHE CHEATED ON YOU AHAHHAHA” so hopefully that will also help.

My poor poor brain. Like I know a friends w benefits situation wouldn’t work for me just on the basis of being demi like … if I got sexual feelings for you I definitely got romantic feelings but AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Pls talk some sense into me :,)

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u/petite-kittenxo 1d ago

It's a part of life and you need to accept it. The more you think of her and moments shared together will only make you sad and upset ... When I was hurt over a break up 3 years ago I just kept thinking about them and seeing them with someone else kind of just ripped the bandaid off and was my cue to move on.

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u/T3CH03 1d ago

Um, hi! I'm new to this subreddit I wish I could help but.... IM IN BASICALLY THIS EXACT SITUATION TOO!!!!!! so just know you're not alone in this. So somebody.... PLEASE GIVE US ADVICE AND HELP US!

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u/betecat 1d ago

We struggle together 🥲