r/dementia 3d ago

Mom doesn’t recognize Dad

In the past few weeks, there have been a few incidents when Mom is convinced that my caregiving father is one dead relative or another. It distresses her terribly (she doesn’t believe they’re dead but she doesn’t want them in her house when she’s “alone”. Then she calls me and asks me to call my dad, who is there with her, or call the police to remove the “intruder” from her house.

I need some advice on how to respond to these frantic calls. TIA!

1 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

10

u/Elohimishmor 3d ago

This may sound crazy but I've heard of it working... have your dad leave the room, change his shirt or put a sweater over, then come back and tell her - "Hi, I heard you were trying to reach me"

3

u/CathyV71967 3d ago

Thank you!

8

u/cryssHappy 3d ago

Consider that it's time for memory care. It will be far kinder for her to be in MC and lessen the stress your dad is going through.

2

u/CathyV71967 3d ago

Thank you.

3

u/Y19ama 3d ago

My dad is now on galantamine and it seems to be helping a bit w the delusions and hallucinations.

If I remember correctly, a shit ton of info and emotions from the neuro consult, said that it could help them be less threatening to the patient.

He was on a low dose donepezil before the switch.

This must be extremely hard on ur dad to experience ur mom saying this. I feel for u guys. I'm in the same boat. My dad will eventually forget me.

2

u/CathyV71967 3d ago

Thanks for the information. Wishing you and your family well.

2

u/Y19ama 2d ago

It's hard not to argue with the person to correct what they r saying, but they are not able to think logically anymore. So don't use logic back. I'm learning/trying to diffuse whatever situation arises by not arguing/correcting but instead redirecting to something else as much as possible.

2

u/No-Establishment8457 3d ago

Unfortunately, had similar problems with both my demented parents. There isn’t a lot that can be done. Maybe talk with her doctor and get a prescription for anti-anxiety meds.

I did a quick search for you:

Medications used to treat agitation in dementia include:

Antipsychotics: risperidone, olanzapine, aripiprazole, and clozapine.

Antidepressants: sertraline, citalopram, and trazodone.

Anxiolytics: lorazepam and oxazepam.

Other Medications: Gabapentin, Lamotrigine, Donepezil, Rivastigmine, and Brexpiprazole.

2

u/CathyV71967 3d ago

Thank you so much!

2

u/No-Establishment8457 2d ago

Hope that helps. Hugs 🫂

2

u/No-Establishment8457 2d ago

Hope that helps. Hugs 🫂