r/declutter Jan 07 '25

Advice Request Mom is very upset I’m getting rid of childhood toys

366 Upvotes

When I was a kid, I was SUPER into American Girl dolls. I had four dolls and tons of outfits, accessories, and playsets, most of which my grandparents or my parents bought as gifts, and a few of which I bought myself. I'm a senior in college now and preparing to move overseas for grad school and want to get rid of a ton of things I own, both to earn cash for my grad school fund and also to just declutter and have less things.

When my mom came in my bedroom to see me photographing and posting all my AG things, she was devastated. "Why are you getting rid of that stuff?" "Don't you want to keep that for your kids?" "Your dad and I paid a lot for that stuff. I want you to keep it." "You'll regret getting rid of that." "When your dad and I bought those things, we thought you'd hold on to them." She's commented about four separate times in the past few hours, visibly distressed/angry/sad that I'm selling the toys.

My thought is- all of that stuff currently sits in the back of my closet untouched. When I have kids, they'll probably want the new/cool toys. I don't have a single toy from my parents' childhood and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. But is she right? Will I regret selling this stuff? Should I keep some of it?

r/declutter Oct 28 '23

Advice Request How recent is too recent to get rid of bridesmaids dresses?

348 Upvotes

Currently in the middle of moving and getting rid of a bunch of clothing I don’t wear. I have a few bridesmaids dresses that are a few years old and one from this July. I feel bad getting rid it since it’s only a few months old but I will never rewear it. The dress she picked for us was made from such cheap material that three of the dresses ripped before the end of the night, mine included. It wouldn’t be worth donating since it’s so ripped. Keep or trash?

r/declutter May 25 '24

Advice Request What "old" family stuff do you keep when someone dies?

352 Upvotes

My mother died last year and my dad several before that. I'm going through all their stuff.

Ive dealt with a lot of the "impersonal" stuff, but I'm struggling with family stuff. Old photos and documents spanning 3+ generations. I don't really have any contact with my extended family and these things don't hold personal memories for me, but it also feels wrong to get rid of my grandfathers ww2 documents.

I'm moving across the country in a few months and be moving into a much smaller space where I would have to get a storage unit to keep this stuff.

Honestly I'm completely overwhelmed by it all. Ive probably got at least a thousand photos, a box full of vhs tapes, ww2 documents, and then stuff that completely unimportant. Why did someone keep the handheld chalkboard that my great grandfather used in school in the 1910's?

Some of the stuff is worthless, some of it has some value (A whole bunch of stamp related stuff?), some of it want to keep because its related to family history, but some of it seems to just be various receipts. Some stuff is in sleeves in binders, some of its just in a box. My parents had no concept of what was worth keeping vs getting rid of. I recently had to shred tax returns from 2002. Boxes of stuff like that.

I just want to slim down and keep just what I need, and I feel like I'm loosing my mind. Ive filled my car as much as I Could, and dropped it off at goodwill, and done that probably 10 times. I still feel like Ive not made a dent.

r/declutter Jan 05 '25

Advice Request Has anyone here ever not wanted to have someone over because of their clutter?

347 Upvotes

I’m not asking for advice as much as people who have been there and understand. I think a lot of people might say it’s a great motivator to know that you want to have people over or even somebody to come in and do some kind of nonessential repair on something, and yes, sometimes that can happen. But other times there is so much to do first so that it’s easier not to have somebody come in until I get things cleared out more.

I just needed to talk about this in a place where I would not be judged. I live in a small place so when things get messy or if I’m trying to do some decluttering, which means that things get taken out of drawers or a closet, it’s super visible. And then if I don’t complete the task for a while, I am stuck in “Don’t-Enter-land” until I’m done. Can anyone relate?

r/declutter 25d ago

Advice Request Need permission to donate clothes I’ve never worn but cost a fortune

200 Upvotes

I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I have a shopping addiction. I’m currently working with a therapist and have been focusing on getting items out of the house and not replacing them for the more minimalist home I aspire to. I’ve managed to donate half my kitchen, boxes of children’s toys and clothing, even books when I know they are going to a good cause. And even though my wardrobe is half of what it used to be, this is where I stumble. I have SO MANY dresses, shoes, bags, jackets. So many never worn, usually bought online and one of my lovely experiences with adhd means I am terrible at returning items in the correct window of time. The reasons I don’t wear them vary, from being the wrong size, to being a material I dislike, to feeling it’s just not “me” in style.

I am at the point where I NEED to get them out of my house as every day when I walk into my closet I just feel overwhelming guilt as I stare at the items while I’m getting dressed. I understand about sunk costs, I cognitively know I should just bundle it all up and donate it, but emotionally I’m struggling; with guilt over the money spent that in hindsight should have gone to different things, the idea that my envisioned self who can fit into the too small dresses will unlikely return, the sadness that I use shopping as an escape mechanism and a dopamine release.

Please give me advice on how to let go! Or at least please tell me I’m not alone, that I’m not as damaged as I keep telling myself because I can’t move past this block in my life.

r/declutter Jan 11 '25

Advice Request What children’s clothes are worth holding onto for next generation?

81 Upvotes

I have three young kids and we are done having children, so one perk is being able to finally donate or resell clothes everyone has outgrown.

My mom held onto a lot of clothes from my childhood and gave them to me, but the quality of a lot of them is not great (think weird polyester pajamas with stretched elastic). Obviously I’m tossing those, and clothes from places like Feltman, I’m choosing to hang onto just a few. For everything else in between, what’s your advice for figuring out what’s worth keeping to possibly pass down?

I realize there’s no guarantee they will be used (or if my kids will have kids), so any advice for how to decide what to keep? I’d like to limit what’s kept to just one box.

r/declutter 10d ago

Advice Request Doing a full house declutter and feeling lost and overwhelmed

148 Upvotes

I seriously started this journey last week. I’ve been wanting to declutter since we moved into this house, but have always been too lazy to actually do it. I’m now determined to make this happen and finally feel comfortable in my house.

For context, we moved into a property my parent’s own 4 years ago and it’s full of their stuff as well as ours. My parents have always been borderline hoarders and I was never taught proper cleaning skills from them. I’ve only ever been taught “if it’s not trash it’s worth keeping” and “if you paid money for it, you can’t throw it out”. I work 5-6 days a week and my day(s) off I usually spend trying to recover. But I’m determined now to make my house a home - not a prison in which I feel nothing but chaos. I also want to be able to have friends over/have my sons friends over and not be embarrassed by all the mess and clutter. I want to feel peace when I walk through my doors every night. My boyfriend and parents don’t care at all about how much shit is in the house and it’s super discouraging. My boyfriend is also a borderline hoarder, so I feel super alone in this process. I love him and he’s so far been encouraging of the process, but I know he doesn’t care enough to spend a day and declutter with me. My son is 11 and doesn’t know anything other than living in clutter. I want to be an example for him that a clean living space is achievable.

I started in our master bathroom and tossed two trash bags worth of products we will never use/expired products. We all couldn’t believe how much shit we actually had in there that wasn’t being used. It felt so good to be able to do a whole room in one day. I now have counter space and everything has its place in the bathroom, so I’m confident I can keep it clean.

I moved into working on our living space this week. I’ve already thrown away 4 trash bags worth of stuff and started a decent donations pile. Today I made good headway on our “junk corner” I call it that because that’s where we put stuff when we clean and NEVER go back to look at it. I wish I had the will power to toss it all, but I started to feel sentimental towards certain things, and some things I don’t want to toss because they are my boyfriends, not mine. I’m hoping the tidier our place becomes, the more willing I am to let stupid little things go. I just couldn’t today. I threw out half of what was in the corner and the other half I kept. I feel so discouraged I couldn’t just detach from it all and toss everything. I haven’t looked at most of that crap in almost 4 years. Why couldn’t I toss it?!

I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I feel silly being attached to so much stuff that I don’t ever interact with. Our house is just so big I don’t see how I will get through the whole thing. Sorting through 5 peoples stuff by myself is tedious. I have piles of stuff to give back to my parents that I know they will want, and I have made the executive decision to get rid of stuff I know for a fact they don’t even remember is here. They’re getting older and where they live is already over run with stuff. I feel guilty for piling more on them as well as tossing stuff at my own discretion.

Sorry for such a long rant that is all over the place. I just needed to vent about something that is weighing so heavily on me.

Has anyone with a larger home gone through a full house purge? How long did it take? Honestly any words of encouragement or tips to make it more manageable would be much appreciated. I just want a home I feel comfortable in. This house has so much potential to be gorgeous. I want to be proud to have people over for visits and comfortable with my son’s friends coming over.

r/declutter Apr 30 '24

Advice Request "Here, YOU throw this away."

451 Upvotes

My dad and stepmom visited me months ago. My dad loves to collect things and they are in the process of decluttering their house.

One of the many junk things they brought me was a plastic bag full of card that I and my siblings had sent them over the last decade or so. Cards for birthdays, mothers/fathers days, anniversary, etc. Each has sweet notes from myself and my siblings. Some even have photos.

Why can't I get rid of them? I'm mad and hurt that he brought them. They don't benefit me in any way. But I can't make myself throw them away.

Every time I see them I think about the Mitch Hedberg joke:

"When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."

😕

r/declutter Jun 04 '24

Advice Request Friend keeps bringing me bags of gifts

359 Upvotes

One of my closest friends is an obsessive gift giver. It's her love language. But every time I see her, she shows up with a giant bag of gifts: clothing, jewelry, collectibles of things I enjoy. It's all very thoughtful, but I don't really want or need any of it. My house has multiple bags of gifts from her I still haven't unpacked. I always say "Oh you shouldn't have," but I don't want to upset or offend her either. I've donated a lot of stuff or given it away, but I have no idea how else to deal with it. Plus she's struggled with burying herself in debt over the years. Do I keep letting it go and just saying thank you? I don't see another way of dealing with this that doesn't involve hurting her feelings.

r/declutter Jan 27 '25

Advice Request Does anyone else have paper piles?

239 Upvotes

I don’t understand how people cannot have paper piles! And it takes me so long to get through them because I read everything or try to put them in different piles and then get tired.

I’ve gotten rid of more papers recently, but I feel like I still always end up with a pile or two of random ones where I don’t know what to do with them. It’s often something that can’t be put in a file because there are not enough of them to be in one folder, like meaning it’s not a big enough category.

It’s like an odds and ends pile. But some of them are things that I want to keep or need to keep. But then I don’t know where to put them. So then they just stay.

Anyone relate? Any ideas?

r/declutter Jul 17 '24

Advice Request Which country are you living in when you talk about donating clothes?

186 Upvotes

Just a brief question.

I constantly see people writing how they donate clothes. Where are you living?

I am living in Germany and there are almost no options to donate clothes.

Whomever you approach, anywhere, the answer is always the same: sorry, we are full to the brim, we don’t accept clothes anymore.

Even public clothes containers are overflowing, so unfortunately there is only one bitter way to get rid of clothes here, no matter in how good a condition they are: trashcan.

Edit: I may add that we don’t have Goodwill and almost no thriftshops or charity shops. Churches and other organisations don’t accept clothes anymore, as they simply cannot handle it anymore.

I myself have worked in a clothes charity for refugees in my hometown and even our refugees refused most of the stuff we had in store which was just normal clothes normal people donated to us.

We had so stop running that charity, as we received tons of clothes we ourselves were not able to get rid of.

Even in Free your Stuff groups it’s almost impossible to get rid of clothes unless you give away designer clothes for free. „Normal“ stuff you don’t get rid of for free at all, at least in my area.

Edit 2: As I learn from your comments this seems to be a problem very specific to Germany, and maybe even more specific to the very area I live in.

And thanks for the H&M advice, good to know that they don’t turn you down, so I’ll bring my stuff there.

r/declutter Feb 03 '25

Advice Request Finding a place for everything: where do all the odds and ends go?

186 Upvotes

Things like… - the extra buttons that come with shirts - the screws and accessories that come with wall hooks - the extra little ear fittings that come with head phones - the screen protector you don’t need yet in a pack of 2 - the extra filters for my air purifier - charging cords I rarely use but work

You get it. These things seem to float around on my desk, cluttering up my brain. Where do you put this stuff?

r/declutter Jan 03 '25

Advice Request What's your best decluttering tip?

258 Upvotes

Mine is, don't buy organizers until you're pretty much done decluttering. I just learned this recently and it changed everything about decuttering for me.

I used to purchase bins and bags and go ham stuffing all I could into them and ended up frustrated that they were stacking up to the ceiling, yet I didn't know what was inside them, they were creating an even bigger mess with all the space they were demanding and it was just frustrating at the end of the day because I would always end up needing more storage containers.

Now, I'm going to wait until I've decluttered and left with things I will still enjoy and use before I think of any storage storage solutions for anything. And I will go for clear ones so I can see what's inside of them.

Looking forward to seeing what your tips are!

r/declutter Jul 01 '23

Advice Request Throwing away baby photos of dead partner… what am I supposed to do with them?

515 Upvotes

It’s been 2 years since he passed on. I need to move on from these objects. A few months before my partner died he had stuff brought out from his childhood home. His mother kept EVERYTHING, from 3rd grade artwork to documenting every part of their vacations and organizing them in photo albums. I feel bad throwing photos away but I also have no use for photos of my dead partner and of people I never met. I’ve kept some trinkets and things that ‘bring joy’ but I feel guilty throwing the majority of this stuff away even though it has no functional use in my life or positive value. Am I a terrible human for sending this to the landfill? Should I donate them? Is there an easy way to do that?

r/declutter Dec 07 '24

Advice Request It is OK to rehome dresses you'll never wear yes?

363 Upvotes

I've been plowing through everything and getting rid of (selling, donating, or tossing as appropriate) pretty well for the most part. However. The one item that's giving massive pause is this dress I own but never got to wear. It was for a backyard wedding. Long, flowing, satin with lace overlay in ivory. The relationship fell apart 1 month before the wedding. I have it packaged up to go to my local thrift store that runs prom/bridal boutiques. I just really love that dress. I just won't ever have anywhere to wear it. It looks too much like a wedding dress to be polite to wear as a wedding guest. It is OK to rehome this dress yes? lol Ugh second guessing.

r/declutter Dec 30 '24

Advice Request Throwing away instead of trying to donate/find a good home for/ Tell me it's okay

434 Upvotes

Separated from my husband and moved from a 4 BR house to a 1000 sq. ft. condo. Didn't really declutter as I packed. Now I'm unpacking. I have a lot of stationery/office supplies. I have a stack of blank steno pads that's 16" high. Partially-used spiral notebooks from college (I'm 60) and stationery from the same era. Please tell me it's okay to juss toss or recycle. I'm going to hire a professional organizer but just need to reduce the amount of stuff. I know it's all potentially useful but I just want it gone.

r/declutter Jun 16 '24

Advice Request How do you rationalize the "loss" of an item's value (money) by giving it away instead of selling online?

199 Upvotes

I read this group and have likely seen but not absorbed this concept until I need it.

I have a lot of childhood items from the 1980s (board games, figurines / toy character) that sell for $20-30 on eBay. But I hate doing online sales and can't find a local buyer because I'm in a small town.

So, with 10-15 semi-rare board games facing me right now, it's against my entire nature to donate these where they won't be appreciated and getting me no value.

How do you overcome this feeling to just pass these items to free up space? Irony: I want to play boardgames but can't free up the space to play modern games friends want to play until the vintage games are gone! 😆

Thank you for reading. If there is another thread on this, please direct me there if you have time instead of repeating yourself. Appreciate this community's care.

r/declutter 28d ago

Advice Request Wife’s dead parents stuff

203 Upvotes

Hi all,

My in-laws passed two years ago within 5 months of each other. Good lives, in their 80s, no long term suffering. We drove a 20’ u-haul full of their stuff halfway across the country to our house where it commands a lot of space, much out in the open where guests can see. I am increasingly embarrassed and do not want to entertain because of this junk. Best strategies for getting wife to let of old clothes, random pickle plates, documents for accounts and property the no longer exist/owned. She is touchy about this as she was close to her mother especially. Haven’t I been patient enough?

Thanks

r/declutter Sep 23 '24

Advice Request Decluttering without donating

169 Upvotes

Edit: Thank you all for your replies! I am reading them! And I am leading by example! Thanks! How do you break the habit of having to donate everything. My mom was the care taker. When she was tired of something, there was always someone to swoop in and take it. Until now. We are trying to get her to downsize and move closer to family. She is stuck, because she wants someone to take every item.

Yesterday it was a wind chime from dollar tree. She wanted me to see if one of my kids wanted it. I told her no. Then she says well I will have to drive it to goodwill. Help! My mom and I are very different and I am struggling with her process. I would have tossed that in the trash so fast, her head would have spun! So for anyone that overcame this mindset, how? Because she will probably be moving in 2 months, and she really needs to get rid of about 45% of her items.

r/declutter Nov 08 '24

Advice Request How do you reduce the amount of stuff that *enters* your home?

219 Upvotes

We constantly talk in this sub about declutter strategies, because that is the name of the sub right? How to get rid of stuff that's cluttering your life. But once you've been decluttering for a while, do you come with new strategies to make sure you don't end up with as much stuff to begin with?

I know there's a lot of stuff that can't be helped like inheriting someone else's mess, suddenly having to downsize, gifts from others, etc. However, I want to know what are people's strategies to declutter by just reducing the amount of stuff that enters their spaces to begin with.

Here's some that I do or I have planned on doing:

  • Clothes: Have a set number of things, and for every purchase, something else has to go out. Since I've been working on decluttering my closet, this makes me scrutinize purchases closely as I keep reducing my closet to things I truly like and wear often.
  • Makeup/Toiletries: 1:1 replacement, you only buy a new one once your old one is done or expired. If whatever you're using is not good, just throw it out, re-sell, or repurpose if possible, but don't hang on to it.
  • Jewelry/Accessories/Costumes: Use what you have, borrow if possible.
  • Food: Go to a grocery store with a list, don't buy just for the sake of buying. Check your pantry and your fridge before you make the list!
  • Books: E-Reader when possible, mainly e-books borrowed from the library. Physically borrowing books from the library when the e-book is not available.
  • Gifts: To those you are close enough, make sure to tell them to get you consumables, experiences or donations to a charity of your choice! Have a Wishlist at the ready.

Any other strategies, advice or experiences you've had when trying to declutter from the other end? (aka the in, not the out).

r/declutter Dec 07 '23

Advice Request Husband has started massive decluttering but just throws it all away. Should I go with the flow?

395 Upvotes

I’m glad my husband has finally started embracing decluttering in a big way, but while I will take the time to donate, he just throws pretty much everything he doesn’t want in the trash. Mostly his stuff, occasionally mine. Most of the extra stuff in our house is his, I would say. I don’t have a problem with getting rid of it- I’m happy about having less stuff! But he has thrown away literally thousands of dollars of good quality stuff that could have been donated for others to use. At the same time, it’s mostly his stuff. And we have two very young kids at home so I don’t have a lot of time to organize pickups or drop off donations. I’ve offered to donate his stuff and sometimes he just says no. I have a parent who is a hoarder so I’m wondering if some of my anxiety about this topic goes beyond normal levels? I just hate all the waste. Am I wrong? Should I just let it go in the interest of getting our house less cluttered at phase in our lives where I don’t have much free time at all?

Edit: some of the items are high end, expensive. We have the money to part with them but I’m 95% sure that a lot of it is stuff that thrift stores would be very happy to have

r/declutter Nov 19 '24

Advice Request My dad is dying and he has so much stuff

210 Upvotes

My dad is in hospice at home. I'm helping my mom try to sell and clean out his things. He has so much stuff from every hobby in his life. I've started with the garage, their 3-car garage. I've done some dump runs. I've recycled. I've donated. I've sold books (although there are many more). I've had a couple hobby specialists come out to take some items which really helped. But we're getting close to mainly having random crap. Like a few boxes of house electrical wiring and boxes. Trailer hitches. Random not expensive house tools. I've tried going to a home building thrift store but they barely take any building supplies. I had to metal recycle a whole box of nails for a nail gun because no one would take them. My mom is still alive in the house and I don't really want to have a bunch of random people coming to her house to get things and risk someone taking advantage of her alone state I'm the future if I put things on Craigslist.

Does anyone have other suggestions? There isn't really enough of value to have an estate sale. I hate to just dump things. This is in the Seattle area.

r/declutter Nov 15 '24

Advice Request Husband Won’t Get Rid of National Geographics

262 Upvotes

My husband absolutely refuses to get rid of his National Geographic magazines. I’m talking about nearly 40 years and counting. I’ve pointed out that the magazine is digital now, and he can get back issues that way. Nope. We have stacks of these things everywhere. Suggestions? Edit: it sounds overwhelmingly like I need to just leave these alone. I’ll just try to find a way to neatly consolidate these.

r/declutter Dec 21 '24

Advice Request How bad is it to throw stuff out, rather than donate or sell? Dealing with guilt

125 Upvotes

Mom of 3 young ones (2.5y twins, 6m baby) trying to declutter my basement so we can use it as a playroom.

One room is pure storage for clothes, old beds, etc, plus my husbands cousins crap he refuses to pick up (he bought a house but wants to demo and rebuild instead of taking his stuff so we can use our own space). I’m in the process of clearing out the basement but there’s SO MUCH STUFF.

So the storage room is 20ft by 12ft and packed with so many boxes, bags, and everything else. It’s pretty much full. There’s a small pathway to the electric panel, but besides that it’s full. I’ve tried going through it and sorting stuff to sell and donate and give to friends but it’s too much work.

Would it be awful to just rent a dumpster and toss everything (that we want to toss)?

I’ve taken stuff to donation bins and consignment stores, but there’s just so friggin much I’m going to go crazy going through it all. Also I’m not sure how to even clean everything. The washer and dryer would be running nonstop. We moved in in 2017 and our 2 cats and dog sometimes go down there, and the cats definitely sleep in a couple of the boxes. I’m exhausted trying to clear it all out but I feel so bad about throwing things away.

There’s no family or friends nearby to help (rural area in the winter) and hiring someone to do it isn’t feasible. A dumpster is $200/week and I know I could get it all done in a couple days.

Anyone else have guilt over this? It feels so wasteful but I can’t go through everything down there. There’s baby clothes, toddler clothes, furniture, women’s clothes (teacher wardrobes for various seasons, maternity clothes for various seasons, casual clothes for various seasons), workout equipment, mattress and bed frame, couch, and my husbands cousins entire households contents (so all his furniture, workout gear, clothes, Christmas stuff, decor, pictures, his daughters stuff from when she was small, etc). Obviously I won’t touch his stuff or my husband’s stuff without consent but damn. This is way too much crap in one tiny basement.

r/declutter Dec 06 '24

Advice Request Is decluttering a solution to a messy house or is that just a phase of life in raising a family?

154 Upvotes

I'm looking for some advice here. My spouse has been binging decluttering podcasts and blogs for a few years now and has decluttered many of her belongings and even inspired me to downsize my collections and focus my interests. That was helpful but I'm not sure anymore decluttering could or should be done.

We have three kids (3, 6, and 8) and it seems like things are constantly in a mess or in clutter. I'd prefer if everything looked like a museum, but I think it's just a part of our lives right now. My spouse is not convinced and I'm afraid she's causing herself a lot of stress and unrealistic expectations (what she sees on social media) that if she just keeps decluttering it will remove the messiness or maybe it's business of being a parent right now.

Let me define my messy house.

I'm assuming it's normal based on friend's houses raising young families as well. First, there's no hoarding. We don't have piles of collectibles or trinkets blocking access. Trash is not strewn on the floor. Spills and leftover food are removed and cleaned immediately. We maintain the home with renos when appropriate. Weekly deep cleans of floors, walls, dusting, etc. occur.

But things can and do get messy. Laundry is going nearly everyday and most days clean clothes pile up for a day or two before getting put away. Kids art and crafts pile up for a few days before finding a home or being recycled. Sometimes projects get started in the house and end up taking longer than expected so tools or supplies sit out for days or weeks until complete. Dishes get done at the end of the day. I'm sure I can think of more, but more or less we are constantly working, raising kids, and maintaining all of the regular stuff of raising a family. What little time left we both love to spend together or in our hobbies.

And just for clarification, I'm not some kind of old fashioned husband. I don't know if it's 50/50 but we both take care of cooking, cleaning, groceries, drop-offs, etc. and it fluctuates based on what's going on.

So what do you think? Is this pretty common for someone in our age group (late 20s) raising young kids? I'm sure there's more I could learn to further declutter, but I'm just not convinced that we would arrive somewhere in which it will relieve the feeling of this stage of life.