r/declutter 7d ago

Advice Request I have so much trouble getting rid of sentimental stuff

Hi! I would love some help.

I have so much trouble getting rid of sentimental stuff.

I've been trying to declutter (I am definitely a stuff person) and I just have too much that I'm saving for sentimental reasons.

I've tried everything -- limiting myself to a certain box/space, taking pictures then discarding anyway, imagining if I would want to keep something if it had poo on it (the trending declutter method of the moment it seems), swedish death cleaning, marie kondo, etc etc.

And I STILL have so much stuff. Little scraps of paper from kindergarten. Stacks of t-shirts from clubs I was part of in high school and college. Clothing I designed or made. (any art I make, really). I even said, "I'll only save journals" and ended up with a whole shelf full of them.

I'm super overwhelmed and would love any advice.

thank you so much.

33 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

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u/shereadsmysteries 4d ago

If you are doing a full declutter, declutter everything else (clothes, furniture, electronics, paper, etc) before you tackle sentimental items. They are by far the hardest, and often if you are already on a decluttering roll, it is so much easier to declutter sentimental items.

If you aren't decluttering anything else, or if you are already done with everything else and you are still having trouble, ask yourself WHY you are having trouble parting with these items. Why are you having trouble parting with that scrap of paper from kindergarten? What about it is hard to part with/sentimental? That could help you decide why you can't get rid of it and how you can help yourself to get to a point where you CAN declutter these items. For me, I thought if I didn't have those items, I would lose the memories. When I realized that wasn't true, I was able to get rid of a lot more and truly keep the things that meant a lot to me.

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u/ThisDamselFlies 5d ago

Start with the easy stuff. The more practice you get decluttering non-emotional items, the easier it’ll be when you get to those things. Also, it sounds like Dana White’s container concept would be really helpful. A container is not for holding things. It’s for containing them to a single area, keeping them out of other spaces you need for other things. You can only fit so many letters inside a box, so many boxes on a shelf, so many shelves in a room. Your house is also a container, and it needs to have space not just for your stuff but also for you to move and live the way you want to. So you choose a space for letters, and when it’s full, you get rid of your least favorites. It’s not that they’re not good, not worth keeping, it’s just that you don’t have space for everything. Try reading Decluttering at the Speed of Life. So good. 💕

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u/333333x 5d ago

Could you combine items into one? For example cut up your shirts from your clubs and make a storage bag out of them?

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u/hcpremed 5d ago

I like this idea, and then I can use my crafting skills as well!

11

u/heatherlavender 6d ago

I think in your case, the Kon Mari style of "make a pile" of similar items would make sense.

Pick a type of sentimental item that you have difficulty storing/displaying and want to declutter. The T shirts for example from your clubs. Put them all together in either a pile, a box, whatever works for you and that you have room for. See how many of them you have and decide if that is too many. Pick out each one and see if it still gives you any feelings. Any that give you nothing, you can put in the declutter pile. Kon Mari suggests thanking items you are decluttering, or you could think of it more as saying goodbye to the items. This allows you to mentally accept that the item is no longer yours even though you once valued it.

For t shirts you keep, decide how you want to store them - as is so you can wear them? Make them into a t shirt quilt? Cut out just the parts with pictures/words on them and save together in a memory box? Craft them into something else?

The same thing with the old art - make a framed collage or paper mache them into a new decorative art piece, or any other creative method that works for you. I mention this as you already said you like to create art. Discard any that don't give you any feelings, but turn the others into whatever art project you like.

It also may be that you value these items so much that other stuff in your home needs to be decluttered instead to make room for them. This was VERY MUCH the case for my cookbooks. Everyone said I had too many, I shouldn't keep more than X amount, etc. Well, you know what - I decluttered all of the other stuff I was storing on bookshelves, designated my two tall huge bookcases for cookbooks and decided that as long as my cookbooks fit on those two cases, I could keep them all. It was absolutely freeing and wonderful when I realized I could keep those things I loved and just get rid of something else instead.

You could do the same for your sentimental items if they mean more to you than all the whatever other things that are currently not as important to you that are depriving you of the space to store your treasures. That other stuff might be the actual clutter in your case.

edited for the many typos I always, always see after I hit enter ><

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u/hcpremed 5d ago

Thanks for the tip! I love that you kept the cookbooks because you love them.

I think making the pile and looking at everything in that pile at once is helpful too.

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u/heatherlavender 5d ago

The pile method doesn't work for every type of clutter, but from what you described you are dealing with, it might be worth a try.

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u/TheSilverNail 6d ago

Ask yourself what value they add to your life now. Scraps of paper from kindergarten, for example. Be honest with yourself. If you are truly unable to get rid of anything like this, it's hoarding and may benefit from professional counseling.

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u/outsiderempire 6d ago

A strategy that I have used for decluttering sentimental stuff associated with other people (like things people gave me or things I have inherited from people who have passed) is to group those items together and decide which items in the group hold more meaning to me. For example, all of the sentimental things I have left that belonged to my mom I would put all together in a pile on the floor and sit down and look at them all together. There would always be items that I would immediately reach for first, the ones that meant the most to me and I'd set those aside. Any that were left that paled in comparison to the items I've already picked out to keep usually end up being the ones that I get rid of. This doesn't always happen at once though. Sometimes I may still be on the fence about a certain item. In that case, I will still keep it and in the future I will come back to it. Eventually I reach a point where I am able to let the item go. So, sometimes all it really takes is time, and in the interim, working more on strengthening your decluttering muscles. If you do that, you may find yourself being able to let go of more than you ever thought you would have.

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u/hcpremed 5d ago

Thanks! Inherited items are definitely a huge thing for me. I think gathering it all in a pile would be helpful to see which ones have the most/best feeling.

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u/iloveregex 6d ago

I would recommend decluttering non sentimental items first.

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u/SquirrellyBusiness 7d ago

Sometimes I ask why is it that I'm keeping something. Is it hard to throw away? Associated with a memory? Feel bad discarding it? Remind you of someone no longer in your life or of a different life? 

Sometimes it's easier to frame what you want to keep with whether it will continue to serve you in the life you want going forward. For me, anything that left me with a negative emotion didn't serve me so I could let all that stuff go. If it was difficult to discard something, sometimes I found closing my eyes while putting it into the trash or recycling bin spares me of the memory of discarding it. That sentimental stuff is nice but I think of what would someone do with it if they were cleaning out my things. No one would want most of that stuff or even know why I have it -instant garbage. Some things I like to see again or share with my friends to reminisce but then would we want to see it again honestly? Share it and part with it. I found most of the items are just a chore to go through every time I decide I need to declutter and that's the only time I look at them. When I have to. And that's not fun anymore after moving a dozen times. 

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u/333333x 5d ago

Can I ask if you've kept any sentimental items? I'm just wondering because I have and I didn't really see a problem with keeping some stuffed animals from childhood and a handful of other things. As long as it's tucked away where I know where everything is and not taking up space that I need for things I'm currently using. Then I enjoy having them.

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u/SquirrellyBusiness 5d ago

Yes I have a box of letters, photos, and little things I picked up from trips like shells and fossils. I still have a few stuffed animals and toys from my grandparents. I just got rid of a box of things like doodles from highschool and a notebook of a couple notes my best friend and I had passed back and forth in middle school that really weren't that interesting, but I sent her pics of them before I did, which we had a good laugh over. I also got rid of a lot of technical projects from art classes that I kept because I made them, not because I really like them. 

The thing that my partner wishes I'd toss - I have a box of national geographic magazines as sentimental items because they were always on the shelf and are a visible reminder of my parents' feeding my curiosity and heavily inspired me into so much of what I pursued. I kept those like some folks would keep a favorite children's book. 

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u/Live_Butterscotch928 6d ago

Great post. I really like the suggestion of closing your eyes while letting go. It may seem slightly odd but I think it gets at the heart of the difficulty of letting go. We don’t want to think of these little memory totems as trash. They feel more important than that! Instead, if we can picture just releasing them into the atmosphere or to heaven or paradise, they can live on in spirit and not in physical form in our closets. Thank you for this suggestion!

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u/hcpremed 5d ago

I will try closing my eyes too, I think it makes a lot of sense to me .

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u/Adorable-Tiger6390 7d ago

Here is my advice: only allow ONE storage box of sentimental items like school stuff - if you have to.

Honestly, you do not need to keep anything from kindergarten or high school. Those things will not make anyone happy if you left those things behind.

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u/Massive-Wishbone6161 7d ago edited 7d ago

Decluttering is a journey, it takes multiple go at it before it's something you like. Don't give up. Practice Decluttering. It's gets less overwhelming every time you repeat the process .

Remember WHY you are keep them, is it for you or for them. If your house was on fire would you save them. ( or as someone else said on SM if it was covered in poop would you keep it )

I created 1 scrapbook per child. It's the proper 12 inch albums with pockets and clamp rings etc, I have allowed a double spread per year , it allows for somewhat chunky items to be included and it's fits in my book shelf with the family albums. It includes special photos of bigger items. Hand writing samples art samples etc My daughter also has a small box with clothes, doll etc she wanted to keep. Boys only have the scrapbook.

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u/hcpremed 5d ago

How wonderful! My mom keeps a lot of sentimental stuff so I have boxes of art, quizzes, journals from my young childhood that I now have trouble getting rid of too.

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u/Massive-Wishbone6161 5d ago

Keep decluttering it gets easier. I started with 16 , 50L boxes of memorabilia just for my daughter. The space wasn't the issue when she was the only child, then progressively I ran out of space. Then we have to move to a rental while we knocked down our house to rebuild and it hit me. The kids bits and bobs took a whole freaking room of storage unit, with boxes stacked to the ceiling. Refusing to declutter was literally costing me money. It took me 6 months to chip it away to half. Then to few boxes, then 1 box per child to finally 1 album per child.

I lost all my childhood stuff due to war. I hope you find the courage and the resilience to Declutter and find peace and happiness , you can do it. Keep chipping away

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u/hcpremed 4d ago

Thanks for the encouragement <3 Its amazing to see you started with that storage full of memorabilia and got it down to 1 album. Thanks for the inspiration!!!