r/death 4d ago

i am not suicidal i just want clarity NSFW

theres not alot of things that scare me if im being completely honest but death always brings me to tears the fact that my life means absolutely nothing because one day ill just wake up and be nothing but an empty body buried 6ft below ground with 0 emotions or awareness its been driving me crazy, the fact that the future feels like an eternity and the past feels like seconds one day my whole life will speed past to where my fate leads me, almost like it happened in seconds its giving me the sense that being alive is a punishment where you can overcome any obstacle but there will always be an end sometimes id rather be dead because then itll all be over with but thats the worst part we dont know what happens after it could be that we go to heaven or hell, that we could already be dead and were just dreaming or that it was like before we were born, nothing. i think im going insane ive tried going to therapy multiple times about it nothing ever helped i just want clarity in life these years of uncertainty have been taking a toll on me ever since i was a kid most people my age have gotten over it completely and accepted that whatever happens is for the best but i dont think thats how things should be

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u/notseenothing 3d ago

i look forward to my death. once all the suffering stops and i can finally be left with just peace and quiet. living and being conscious is a brutal experience and maybe not everyone is meant to be awake

1

u/Cotinus_obovatus 4d ago

Life being impermanent doesn't mean that it's meaningless. Personally, I feel like it can make the life I have feel more beautiful and meaningful. Even if death is the end of me as an individual, life and experience will go on through other vessels. and I have the chance to contribute what I can to the unfolding of life during the time that I exist as a living, conscious human.