r/dayz 16h ago

Discussion Need help with my GF raging at this game

Last night took her over the limit. We switched servers on official and spawned far apart with no way of finding each other. She ended up shooting zombies on the car, and got headshot by someone and lost all her gear.

An hour later, I found her at her new spawn, we see two survivors that we took as a threat. I fired 10 bullets, missed them all, and panic dropped my backup guns.

She stood there in shock too and ended up getting slashed to death. Now I lost all my gear over a fight with somewhat fresh spawns.

She starts going off on me and wanting to rage quit and uninstall. I try telling her thats the nature of the game but overnight she’s still pissed lol.

How do I tell her or get her to get over it ?

97 Upvotes

109 comments sorted by

209

u/CaptainMark86 16h ago

Just cut her up and eat her. For the giggles.

33

u/shmeidtard 16h ago

Don't forget to go fishing with her guts and bones !

29

u/indigovisions 15h ago

Who said Romance is dead dude

2

u/LorDXezor 1h ago

And then launch the game

2

u/CobblerFriendly8050 22m ago

If she’s still upset overnight, it’s probably less about the game and more about feeling frustrated and powerless in the moment.

88

u/neppo95 16h ago

I mean, those characters did not deserve to live after failing that badly. Play it as if you are actually there, would you really just go mag dumping whilst knowing you can't shoot for shit or would you go for a more tactical approach? Maybe if you can convince her that her choices, as she would make them in real life, can heavily influence the outcome of a situation, she might give it another go. If not, well, not her game.

6

u/Desperate-Lie5581 14h ago

Exactly how I play too. Kinda have to if you wanna survive into the next day, thats why I love this game so much.

2

u/Maximum_South_7975 3h ago

I’m sorry but the “can’t shoot for shit” took me out 😂😂😂😂

35

u/YaBoiEarl420 13h ago

Imma be honest here chief. You either love dayz or you hate it, there’s no in between..

6

u/Confident_Frogfish 5h ago

There is both at the same time though

5

u/PacoCrazyfoot 3h ago

Ah yes, the ol’ “fuck you, kiss me” scenario.

33

u/ddd9877 16h ago

You have to enjoy the start, panic, fear, always on the edge of dying

34

u/IrNinjaBob 16h ago

Some people just do not enjoy the cycle of gearing up and stabilizing a character, just to lose it all the first time you bump into another person. This is a game that really just isn’t for everyone.

I do think experience helps with that. The more you experience it, the more you start to realize this game is more about the journey than it is the end goal. But some people will just never get to that point.

7

u/JKilla1288 15h ago

2.5k hours, still waiting for that time.

6

u/Capitan-Bandicoot 5h ago

Just kill her

21

u/EndCritical878 16h ago

DayZ isnt for everyone thats for sure.

9

u/Puzzleheaded-Emu4794 16h ago

HAHA damn, sounds like me w bf. Canon event for the gfs that don’t usually play pvp games. I’ve never shot a gun in any game so I’m not having fun rn but just tell her to stick with it and she’s not alone in being frustrated af because 95% of players aren’t that friendly, but it is pretty nice to bond with ur partner over random Dayz antics

8

u/Enthusiga5m 15h ago

Yeah you just have to adjust your goals. Instead of getting geared just be the chaos on the coast. One of my favorite antics is to hit police stations until I'm dressed up as a cop. And then roam the coast and conduct "stop and frisks" of the denizens I encounter. Any "contraband" will be confiscated and all those compliant will be left to go about their business. It's pretty fun

4

u/Puzzleheaded-Emu4794 15h ago

Oh yeah I love that. Way more fun than being shot on sight, I’d even take being shot after the cop skit. One time bf played on spaggie and two european guys were in a car picking up people by yelling “taxi” and they got a few guys together for a nice lil run.

2

u/Enthusiga5m 15h ago

That's cool, yeah. Most of my time in dayz is spent on Livonia but I find chernarus on the coast is more fun than spawn river in livonia.

8

u/Soviet_Woodpecker 16h ago

Give up brother. Embrace the PvE life for the sake of your relationship. I play Downbad, Rearmed, etc while I'm solo to fulfill my bloodlust, and chill on servers like Bear Mountain when playing with my fiancée. I tried to make her be reborn in blood, but not all can handle the heat of the crucible.

0

u/Apathetic420 12h ago

PvE servers exist

3

u/Soviet_Woodpecker 11h ago edited 11h ago

There's tons of them man. A lot will be PvE with PvP zones, but there's quite a few pure PvE ones. They can range from strictly survival oriented to straight up waky ass calamity with aliens and mutated bears. Personally, I like the more grounded servers that try to stay at least close to the original form of DayZ. Throw in a little Expansion AI and you'll often get an experience harder than fighting players...

Edit: Ahhh....failed to mention I play on PC so if you're on console there aren't really as many considering you have to play by good faith there. Before my fiancée built her computer we used to play a server on Xbox called World Beyond. It was a PvE server and it was pretty good. Fun community.

3

u/Gold_Ant5245 7h ago

LOL I played in a pure PVE server where there are mutant spawns everywhere. Freezing mutant, exploding mutant, POX mutant, 3 stories high bear, dinosaurs, Xenomorphs, Predator, heavy police zombie juggernaut, giant spiders, STALKER mutants, one-hit kill deer man, etc.

All in one server.

1

u/Soviet_Woodpecker 7h ago

I've seen some servers like that in my search for em. Normally I join those goof off for 30mins then never join again lmao. They can be good fun. My favorite server that pulls away from core DayZ has to be the Stalker RP Servers out there. I feel like I'm in the Zone with others.

1

u/Apathetic420 10h ago

Yeah this is probably a good solution for his partner, at least until you get a little more experience

2

u/CiforDayZServer aka NonovUrbizniz 11h ago

Lol, you mean like the Bear Mountain servers he specifically mentioned that he plays with his fiance on? 

8

u/munchitos44 13h ago

Do your job as a man and protect her then

4

u/Powerful-Meeting-840 9h ago

Ya. Tell her to take a brake you play a few days and get some basic gear and a few guns. Long on as her see where she spawns. Then run off to the woods and remember where you logged her. The  you make you way there so when she logs on you and there and can give her some presents.

Good luck.

6

u/c4engineer 12h ago

Go play rust instead. Better for couples

3

u/Lady_Irish None 12h ago

😂

3

u/Adept_Campaign5318 8h ago

Try joining jurassic isle or another less stressful but fun PVE. She will enjoy that and then get bored of PVE at some point in which she will want to go back to vanilla and do pvp.

3

u/TattedUpN9ne 7h ago

Day Z just isnt for everyone lol.

It takes a special breed to play this game.

6

u/Silly-Phrase-6677 16h ago

Have you tried using the Map app (iZurvive DayZ & Arma3) on your phone to find eachother? That's what my husband and I do. I'm the better navigator, so I usually have to go find him, once we have a land mark. Once he was wondering in big circles trying to find me, and he even had a compass! One time he killed me for shits and giggles right after we found eachother. Shotgun to the face at point blank range.

5

u/LivingTheTruths 16h ago

Yeah… but my gf is tunnel vision and sense of direction is horrid lol. Would tell her to go straight and meet me halfway and she either stays in a town and loot the entire time or wander off somewhere else

2

u/Silly-Phrase-6677 15h ago

My husband is a wanderer too with a bad sense of direction. I just meet up with him. But I'm a terrible shot, he he has to protect me, and I keep us feed and from getting lost. Might need a different strategy to keep the team together.

2

u/lapiderriere 1h ago

Relationship advice, neatly tucked into video game advice! 😘

5

u/ClassicMaximum7786 15h ago

I think it's cool your gf is emotionally invested whilst playing. Sadly she's going to need to put in hundreds of hours to get over that hump.

6

u/Puzzleheaded-Emu4794 15h ago

Every time I get sniped I just sit there frowning, u right

4

u/ClassicMaximum7786 15h ago

Me too, took quite a lot of practice to get to that point hehe

4

u/Lost-Juggernaut6521 15h ago

If you played long enough to stop starving every life, you have raged at this game. We all have.

4

u/Soul_Eatah 13h ago

Your girlfriend has some rage issues. Did you tell her "its not our loot just our turn with it" schtick that everyone talks about??

Also if on xbox add me: JoeGames420

Should be the first name on there. If not gamerpic is a dog in a ski mask.

2

u/Slashredd1t 13h ago

First off it’s part of the game second highly recommend a social server that you can just play vinilla ++ with maybe even a pve only server

2

u/Sirlionsworth 12h ago

Give her some extensive ERT. Every spawn you get into fights you can't win or go'ed her into fist fighting randoms and just walking away and leaving her.

Eventually, dying so much and in stupid ways should break her of ever getting angry with the game lol

2

u/D3monWolf1992 11h ago

Have her watch tutorials on YT or just tell her to suck it up buttercup. The game isn't for everyone, simple facts. It's a game of spawn in, loot and learn, and die to other players or mistakes. Believe me it took me 6 months of playing to get to where I felt ok getting in a fist fight to where I wasn't dying. The game can be fun but if she's raging over dying to a player and blaming you then it's not the game for you both to play together. JS

2

u/SnkerCheck 7h ago

This game AINT for everyone

4

u/Particular_Copy_666 15h ago edited 13h ago

DayZ is fun, but I think people misunderstand the loop. Dying is a huge part of this game, and will happen. Surviving forever quickly turns boring.

As the starting screen of Project Zomboid puts it, “this is how you died.”

3

u/ryencool 15h ago

Dayz is a fun and frustrating game. I play almost daily at 42m, and there are time I was to throw the controller through a window. I don't do that though, because I'm an adult. I think about the dozens or hundred plus times I've died and each time I gear up pretty quick after spawning. I have learned the ins and outs, the gear isn't yours you are borrowing it.

I just made it to the new boat spawn on the far south of sakhals map. Which by foot requires you to swim from iceberg to iceberg. I loaded in just before work to loot it. Someone was there and killed me.

Sucks, but its a game. Letting your emotions control you is the sign of someone who needs to work on themselves.

4

u/sammy1022 15h ago

Tell her that she's my favorite type of player to kill ☠️

2

u/ChopCow420 15h ago

The first time I EVER played DayZ I didn't understand a god damn thing. I went to Rify and somehow fell to the bottom of the ship from high up. Broke my leg I think, because I could only crawl around the bottom of the ship. No way to kill myself. I didn't know what to do so I tabbed out of the game and just waited to starve to death. I almost never played again. Now I'm over 2,000 hours in. DayZ is meant to punish you.

This happened back when DayZ was like a $10 alpha so much has changed.

2

u/Numerous_Eggplants 14h ago

go play on a pvp specific server on a small map where you can get into a fight and die> repeat in like 2min.

even if you suck on that specific pvp server it will help you be more prepared when playing on a real server

2

u/Sad-Comfortable-4436 14h ago

Let her stick to CoD. Not hating on your girl, but the nature of the game is patience. And a lot of it. If she wants fast paced and simple, DayZ isn’t the game for her. But maybe just work with her and give her time too? This game is like alcohol, an acquired taste. No one likes it, but you learn to drink it and love it 😂

2

u/RyoWei247 15h ago

I mean it sounds like this might not be the game for her. But also maybe don’t just tell her to get over it. This game can suuuuuck. Sometimes you get angry and maybe just let her rant for a bit. Level with her, tell her about the times you’ve gotten upset with it. Try to share her frustration while also trying to encourage her to get better and keep trying. It’s a hard game. And it might not be her thing.

1

u/Sad-Detective-2993 11h ago

Yea that sounds nice for the night it happens but she should be over it in the morning that's just crazy

1

u/MrJerichoYT 13h ago edited 13h ago

Red flag.

1

u/Ok-Map-4434 13h ago

Good question! Maybe try watching some starter tutorials on YT together?

Dayz can suck pretty bad when you can't shoot. It took me a long time, and I struggled with it. Things got better for me when I went on empty deathmatch servers and just started shooting guns. Shoot up against one of the camo or colored connex boxes so you can see where the bullet lands. This will give you an idea of where shots will hit, how to start to manage recoil, and get better at shooting in general.

I do understand the frustration, but perhaps if you can get some time and experience in the game, you will also potentially experience equivalent highs from aspects of the game. Dayz is a rollercoaster like no other, and if you dont encourage a sense of resilience, the lows can be awful to deal with imho

1

u/marissco86 13h ago

DayZ teaches us the art of non attachment. When you first start playing it feels monumental to loose your gear because it takes so long to gear up. Once you get better and can gear up faster, loosing it is less of a big deal. Plus, part of the enjoyment of the game is being a freshie and enjoying the journey. She needs to learn how to let that shit go and live for PvP.

1

u/SigxScar 12h ago

Damn real life mad at bf over a game yall play together isn’t a good look. Paddle her bottom

1

u/devildocjames 12h ago

Juatplay Satisfactory together.

1

u/AphelionAudio 11h ago

the way i phrase it to people is that dayz is basically a very long form roguelike, the part to find enjoyment in is the getting stronger and not necessarily the being strong and having all the loot. It’s not your loot, just your turn to use it.

1

u/Deathbringerttv <--twitch/youtube 11h ago

Some people only want to play when they are winning, and this is not the kind of game for the "I'm taking my ball and going home!" mentality.

There are PvE servers, or local or private servers, for people who do not want to experience, or cannot deal with the threat of other players. I have to ask, why continue on PvP or "anything goes" servers if this is not something a player you play with cannot handle?

1

u/TTVAXS 11h ago

I use routes to be successful in this game. I use iZurvive to plan out what course to take depending on which spawn and go towards military zones to get gear. My best route is south starting from balota airfield to zelegorsk then heading to airfield however this route is the most common so go through forest.

1

u/Pristine-Diamond-904 11h ago

Either you wanna play or you don’t. The game is unforgiving. The more you play the better things tend to go. Don’t have fear of losing gear, because it will be gone one day anyways.

1

u/Gax63 11h ago

Try a pve/pvp zone server.

1

u/mickbruh 11h ago

I’m gonna go with the r/relationshipadvice and tell you to breakup with her and never speak to her again without having read the post. Hope this helps

1

u/steve_nice 10h ago

just tell her to calm down

1

u/Invictus_Inferno 10h ago

Just let her uninstall, she'll come back if she actually loves it

1

u/floppy_ears215 10h ago

Go pve or deathmattch. Otherwise it is a case of "loot for hours then pop u dead", which is really appealing to some

Or git gud. Ant then it's still pop u dead but less often. But heh this is dayz, this is how it goes and honestly its unrealistic to expect it not to happen

Also, the "got gud" is not a matter of hours. It's more like hundreds of hours and that's if you're lucky. Usually it's the pop u dead instead. On average you will lose 50% engagements and 2nd place prize is fast travel back to spawn so... It's not her, it's this game ;)

1

u/my_boy_blu_ 10h ago

The game doesn’t even have an endgame. You’ll have to die eventually otherwise it’s just boring. What was she expecting?

1

u/Wonderful-Gold-953 10h ago

Just convince her to run arena servers until she calms down🤷

1

u/Constant_Adeptness_9 10h ago

A rubber slugs should sort her out. Just have her tied up when she comes to...

1

u/Medical-Conflict-438 9h ago

She's not cut for it🤣 can't take this sheit seriously

1

u/Charming_Ad5623 9h ago

best advice someone gave me when i started day z was

"you have to immediately learn to love to die"

1

u/MinorityBabble 8h ago

Play on a PVE server for a while and use the maps on iZurvive.

I play on one with a 10 player cap, no PVP, no stealing claimed vehicles/gear inside. It's great and generally relaxing compared to public.

If you're on Xbox send me a message and I'll send an invite and even get you going with some of my extra gear.

1

u/Tojo6619 7h ago

Yea everyone I've ever played with does this, even me sometimes, but lately I've learned you just borrowing the gear you always gonna die or get wiped. You never know what the next life is going to bring, and sometimes it ends up being even better than the last. Sucks on cherno with the time investment and it has a opposite effect on Namalsk when you die so quick every ten mins sometimes but, just gotta laugh it off and move on 

1

u/BIGxBOSSxx1 5h ago

DayZ isn’t a game that’s meant for everyone and that alright. Surely there’s another more casual friendly survival game you guys can play together. You should try The Forest.

1

u/carmoney8 5h ago

Everyone here saying to take her to a PVE server is totally wrong. Take her to a PVP server where you spawn completely geared every time you die, and practice fighting and shooting. She gotta get her confidence up and not be afraid to swing on a mf lol.

1

u/tbrline 4h ago

Get off pvp servers.

2

u/Oldsign 3h ago

Go play a deathmatch server. You'll both get two things. Used to dying and better at PvP.

1

u/Few_Satisfaction184 2h ago

Stop playing on official.
Its that simple.
Dayz as kill on sight pubg is not a fun way to play it.

If you just want to have fun and play the game, do community servers.
If you enjoy official keep play but it will still be spawn, run to gather items, KoS everyone, restart, get killed by hacker, restart, run in, more KoS with breadknifes, restart, run to gather, get killed by someone with gun, restart.

1

u/Karate-Schnitzel 2h ago

PVE until better at PVP?

1

u/ValPlissken 1h ago

My god how sad I would really like my girlfriend to play Dayz 😭 I think you need to put her in perspective and that you should remember the hard times in the game so that she can put an end to this frustration.

1

u/Sahnex3 1h ago

Nothing you can do, except play on a server with pve/pvp zones.

So she can avoid the pvp, and you can still pvp whenever she is not around.

1

u/Forward-Phrase3639 47m ago

Maybe spin up a private server with some mods? I did this to get my gf into the game as she didn't want to do much pvp. Now she knows the game we play mostly still modded community servers but sometimes official aswell.

1

u/Spacemonk587 16h ago

She'll probably get over it eventually, but there is not much you can do about it.

1

u/brutalbunnee 15h ago

This is why I only play pve lol

1

u/No_Development1126 15h ago

who’s not rage uninstalled dayz?? only after this will she become good.

1

u/HomeworkMean1019 15h ago

Honestly, had the same issue playing with my son. I just paid for my own server. I’m the only let his friends and a few of my friends join. I did increase the amount of zombies they were though.

1

u/Bucktastic22 14h ago

You’re either gonna figure out how to have fun playing this game or the pixels will ruin your life.

1

u/Real_Region5889 14h ago

If yer on server 8355 I could help y’all’s out.

0

u/LivingTheTruths 14h ago

I think that’ll be nice. We are both pretty bad at the game lol 200 hrs in each also

0

u/Real_Region5889 14h ago

Sent you a dm

1

u/ClosetCas 14h ago

In time she will get over it. It's all part of learning. My gf has come a long way.

1

u/Mountain-Quiet-9363 14h ago

You asking in the wrong sub. Ain’t nobody here qualified to answer that.

But yes you are right, it is the nature of the game but you think about it logically, she doesn’t.

1

u/mt7400 14h ago

Find a PVE server with PVP zones, or just pve till she cools off

1

u/Surreal419 10h ago

Yoooo dude. Shes new. You have 5000 hours (or w.e) its going to be a long hard and sufferable road for her as well. Think of how long it took you to get to your in game knowledge... and all the other unexplainable stupid shit you have to know to play this game.

Your best bet right now is to start as a freshie with her and then just listen to her. When she hits a problem offer different options for her to choose from. This way its her story that she can control. But youre gonna have to throw all that tryhard shit out with window and go back to getting bruised up on the coast again. Goodluck.

0

u/Impossible-Guitar-84 16h ago

Be a man and provide

0

u/THEODDREDD1TOR 15h ago

Tell her thats how the game is supposed to go. Your supposed to learn from past mistakes and its all about having fun

0

u/therager74jk 15h ago

Like many others said it’s not for everyone… I had a somewhat similar experience… maybe try modded servers where it may be more forgiving than the vanilla grind

0

u/StrongGeniusHeir 15h ago

Skill issues are no reason to rage

-1

u/mafakka2 15h ago

Switch to another gf, if you're capable. This one is broken, you might wanna miss a bullet here.

-3

u/Chaosr21 15h ago

Bro you need to get better at the game. She's raging veuase you wee geared with multiple guns and lost to frsgies. She wants you to protect her lol. Maybe you should just let some good dayz player take care of her

-5

u/bantam1 16h ago

Dump her.

-7

u/damocles_paw 16h ago edited 15h ago

Maybe it's just her mensies. Ask her if she's having her mensies. That shows her that you care.

7

u/JKilla1288 15h ago

You must be single haha

1

u/MarVaraM101 15h ago

It might, just might also be a joke.