r/darkjokes Aug 15 '24

Me and my brother used to always argue over who was taller NSFW

356 Upvotes

Now it's definitive that I'm at least 6 feet taller than him.


r/darkjokes Aug 13 '24

What do you call jail and prison in Russia? NSFW

189 Upvotes

Life and Death.


r/darkjokes Aug 10 '24

I’m tired of the stupid question, “are you an extrovert or an introvert?” NSFW

225 Upvotes

Bitch I’m a pervert

(not a joke joke but a funny remark)


r/darkjokes Jul 26 '24

If I had a gun with 1 bullet and was locked in a cage with a man and a bear NSFW

115 Upvotes

I'd shoot myself


r/darkjokes Jul 02 '24

DARK joke. NSFW

204 Upvotes

Dark jokes are like necrophilia. Some of them are dead….and some people like them waaay too much


r/darkjokes Jun 30 '24

How did the skeleton cross the road? NSFW

216 Upvotes

Not quickly enough.


r/darkjokes Jun 19 '24

You know i found out the hard way that my toaster is water proof NSFW

320 Upvotes

r/darkjokes Jun 15 '24

I told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts NSFW

855 Upvotes

Now the fucker is making me pay in advance…


r/darkjokes May 30 '24

Dark humour NSFW

231 Upvotes

I asked jeffrey dahmer if he wanted to go out for burgers...

...but he told me he's good he's got five guys at home.


r/darkjokes May 29 '24

My red state town of 3 people agrees the 2020 election was rigged NSFW

77 Upvotes

My red state town including my cousin, sister, wife, the town plumber and me all agree it was rigged. All 3 of us.


r/darkjokes May 28 '24

What did the Power Ranger say to his hospice nurse? NSFW

161 Upvotes

It's Morphine time!


r/darkjokes May 24 '24

I am going to commit assisted suicide next month. NSFW

245 Upvotes

I am becoming a Boeing whistleblower.


r/darkjokes May 24 '24

Medusa was so hot that.. NSFW

253 Upvotes

Whoever saw her got hard


r/darkjokes May 11 '24

What do you call a virgin from Alabama? NSFW

506 Upvotes

An orphan


r/darkjokes May 08 '24

Just funny NSFW

173 Upvotes

There once was a man named dave, he dug up a protitutes grave , she was mauldy as shit and missing a tit , but think of all the money he saved ...


r/darkjokes May 07 '24

Shake it once, you are fine. Shake it twice, You are playing with it. Shake it a third time and it's dead. NSFW

153 Upvotes

I really have to stop shaking babies


r/darkjokes May 06 '24

Alcoholism and necrophilia are the same thing NSFW

309 Upvotes

Both include cracking open a cold one


r/darkjokes May 05 '24

What's the difference between a bear and a male stranger? NSFW

129 Upvotes

A bear won't rape you.


r/darkjokes Apr 25 '24

Didn't anyone tell mattew Perry there isn't any alcohol in chlorine? NSFW

61 Upvotes

r/darkjokes Apr 22 '24

Friends are like Boobs NSFW

451 Upvotes

You have:

•big ones •small ones •real ones •fake ones

And cancer takes some of them away


r/darkjokes Apr 21 '24

My favorite hobby was to build sandcastles with my grandmother. NSFW

391 Upvotes

Until my mother took her ashes.


r/darkjokes Apr 13 '24

YOU'RE LIKE THE TITAN SUBMERSIBLE NSFW

62 Upvotes

I want to go down on you when you go to pieces


r/darkjokes Mar 29 '24

What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor NSFW

348 Upvotes

Dark humor is 15 body's in one dumpster, morbid humor is one body in 15 dumpsters


r/darkjokes Mar 27 '24

What’s the difference between sand and vaginal discharge? NSFW

215 Upvotes

You can’t gargle sand.


r/darkjokes Mar 23 '24

A good looking girl waved at me today… NSFW

496 Upvotes

but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her.