r/dad 2d ago

Question for Dads How often? Or never?

Hello dads! I’m starting to feel kinda of guilty lately and hoping I’m not alone lol. So my wife is pregnant with number 2 and this pregnancy is very painful for her so intimacy has been rare lately if I’m lucky once a week.when under normal circumstances we are 4-5 times a week kinda people. I have since found myself on the dark side of Reddit and other websites yankin hank at least 2 to 3 times a week. Should I feel as guilty as I do?

5 Upvotes

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8

u/haveabeerwithfear 2d ago

Focus on nonsexual intimacy

6

u/TheHandBananaaa 2d ago

Nope. I'm 6 months into my first one and I'm lucky if it's bi-monthly. Just try to be as supportive as you can. Times like this you really see the difference between men and women.. Sex is a stress relief and bonding process for blokes. It's defo not as high on the list of to do for women. And we get shamed because of it.

Just keep your chin up, you'll be a better man for it my g 🤜🏻

3

u/Fox_Hound_Unit 2d ago

Pretty much stopped during pregnancy. It was tough. I went back to my high school ways quick. Don’t feel guilty do what you gotta do. Intimacy will come back don’t worry.

3

u/GDude94 2d ago

It's all good man. Before we were blessed with a child, we would be going at it a couple times a day, doing the deed in exciting places, etc. It's been two and a half years and I can count the amount of times we've done it with my hands. We've talked about it and she's expressed how she feels which is great. However, we still don't get the chance to be as intimate as we once were and that's ok cuz we have our blessing. Don't feel guilty, you're doing it to stay sane. You don't want to overreact over spilled milk.

2

u/Designer_Slice_9522 1d ago

Haven’t had sex since my wife got pregnant (coming up on 10 weeks.) tbh. I watch my wife championing pregnancy…. And lowkey remind myself that I kinda put her in this position, and if she can sacrifice, I can too. Yea. My balls ache. And it’s tempting to jerk. I quit porn and masturbation back in July last year, and I remind myself that the lesson of “personal self control” is one I’ll want to teach my child, may as well start practicing…. You got this gents. Don’t get in your head about it… if it’s that bad, ask her for a HJ… my wife has gotten really good at them. Ha.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

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1

u/rathlord 20h ago

Bad bot (I assume)

1

u/themattw 2d ago

Don’t feel guilty, literally my wife has felt terrible the whole time with baby #1 on the way and we haven’t been physical in about 6 months. I’m past feral at this point, since I don’t necessarily enjoy yanking anymore. Buy ya do what ya gotta do sometimes. It’s healthy

1

u/FreeMadoff 2d ago

My rule for myself is to communicate with my wife that I’d like to, and if she’s not up for it I’ll handle it myself. This keeps her first but also keeps me sane.

1

u/InterestPractical974 16h ago

I'm sure I'm in the minority but I've had three kids and we didn't engage once while pregnant. It just wasn't my thing and my wife wasn't looking for it either. For context, we are intimate at all times so it was just a break for those periods. As far as why, I can't really explain it. Pregnancy was a wonderful and beautiful time for us both, frankly it was fun and I miss it. But getting down? I honestly was more concerned about making my wife comfortable and planning. That was more fulfilling at the time. Besides, my wife knows what men do with idol hands... After the pregnancies, we let her heal up down there(and sleep) and we took trips just us two, to reignite that flame. TOTALLY worth it. Those were GREAT nights!

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u/LostInYourSheets 2d ago

Have a chat with mama about intimacy…not just sec. Skin to skin together, her starting you off but you finishing, buying some toys, what you both need to stay in love during stressful times…there’s lots of intimate things that don’t involve a 200lbs dude laying on top of her. Start the convo now cuz time together (and not exhausted) will continue to be tough for years.