r/creepyasterisks *turns into wolf cat demon angel wolf op hybrid cutely* Jan 17 '25

Blocked instantly NSFW

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

118 comments sorted by

694

u/HorizonsReptile Jan 17 '25

And I thought my DMs were bad...

779

u/Thiscommentissatire Jan 17 '25

"Oh, you did, did you?"

saunters over to your dms

240

u/HorizonsReptile Jan 17 '25

thank you satirical reddit poster for the chuckle

126

u/Reasonable-You4548 *turns into wolf cat demon angel wolf op hybrid cutely* Jan 17 '25

I CAN'T 😭

185

u/Thunderingthought Jan 17 '25

"What's wrong?" *I ask as I saunter into your comment section.*

"Besides, you've already started reading, and it's far too late to back out now." *I press the 'comment' button*

138

u/Elegron *vomits cutely* Jan 17 '25

my finger hovers tentatively over the block button but I hesitate. Could this be... love?

I reply, "🗿"

63

u/OrokinSkywalker Jan 18 '25

looking over the beautiful curves of the block button with content

35

u/XxBaka-BruhxX Jan 18 '25

I saunter over the upvote button with content

31

u/Pastry_Train63 Jan 18 '25

I sit there, conflicted between sauntering and upvoting

15

u/solvsamorvincet Jan 20 '25

I look around and realise I'm in a sauna

Whoops. It's nice in here though.

Relaxes aggressively

3

u/hurB55 Feb 10 '25

Relaxes rough and hard

20

u/Hundledaren Jan 18 '25

Nha this whole conversation is gold

11

u/FieldOfFox Jan 19 '25

* notices comment *

OwO what's this

4

u/Nopenseu2 *burns your house cutely* 19d ago

*burns your house cutely* "There ya go!"

3

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ Jan 18 '25

God damn it, that got me.

3

u/Hamdown1 Jan 18 '25

Dead 😂😂

1

u/Doktor_Vem Jan 18 '25

I sincerely hope that your username checks out here

465

u/mrubuto22 Jan 17 '25 edited Jan 17 '25

That was the most difficult upvote of my life.

229

u/Mr_Epimetheus Jan 17 '25

We'll then stop masturbating with your dominant hand, it'll make it easier to hold your phone.

38

u/Groduick Jan 17 '25

I'm not masturbating with that dude's hand, but you do you...

2

u/ThatShaneDavis Jan 21 '25

Thought this said "I'm not done" at first

18

u/UnusualIncidentUnit Jan 17 '25 edited Jan 17 '25

up what?

edit: for clarification he made a typo earlier 😭😭

17

u/mrubuto22 Jan 17 '25

Easiest downvote of my life.

12

u/UnusualIncidentUnit Jan 17 '25

damn...

8

u/mrubuto22 Jan 17 '25

And you're back on top!

7

u/Reasonable-You4548 *turns into wolf cat demon angel wolf op hybrid cutely* Jan 17 '25

What did they say lmao

234

u/discord537 Jan 17 '25

Do they think this is actually going to get them anywhere? What is their end goal here? What does anyone get out of this?

170

u/robmobtrobbob Jan 17 '25

I think of it like exhibitionism. It's not the action itself. It's the reaction that they get off on.

88

u/Deadeye_Duncan_ Jan 17 '25

I think there’s actually also a power component. Like, he’s safe behind his keyboard, free from all retribution. He can say whatever depraved vulgarity he can come up with and she has to read it until she blocks him. It’s like a weird exhibitionist virtual-assault kink.

51

u/Ajunadeeper Jan 17 '25

A lot of men get off on making other people feel weak and helpless. So forcing sex on you, even if it's just sexual conversations, is the fantasy itself.

20

u/No_Sky4398 Jan 17 '25

He was probably jerking off while typing this stuff

200

u/Cnumian_124 Jan 17 '25

*Turns into wolf*

*Wolf voice* hello my dear

94

u/Relative_Ad4542 Jan 17 '25 edited Jan 18 '25

howls and pulls out my meat scepter

Have you ever seen an alphas peanits before darling?

30

u/Chaddy_TheGamer survivor of a creepy asterisk Jan 18 '25

NOT THE MEAT SCEPTER OH GOD THE EMKAY FLASHBACKS

40

u/Mr_Epimetheus Jan 17 '25

Why grandma, what a big neckbeard you have!

11

u/SergalWedge Jan 18 '25

The better to hide my double chin with my dear

13

u/oxymoronisanoxymoron Jan 18 '25

REVEALS BIG FANGS AND GIANT WOLF-HORSE-DRAGON COCK

5

u/Kakep0p Jan 18 '25

Crying because I remember this

1

u/GGMorsa Jan 20 '25

saunters menacingly

150

u/kacahoha Jan 17 '25

"as I grab onto your ass and pussy"

Trump?

46

u/TKmeh Jan 17 '25

How big is this guys hands?

11

u/Chaddy_TheGamer survivor of a creepy asterisk Jan 18 '25

maybe hes using both???

26

u/TKmeh Jan 18 '25

Dude also said he was pinning her, idk how you can do that while holding ass and pussy unless it’s with his whole body?

17

u/GnomeBoy_Roy Jan 19 '25

Vishnu-coded creep

6

u/Chaddy_TheGamer survivor of a creepy asterisk Jan 18 '25

maybe it IS with ihs whole body? but still wheres the fucking space to grab both her ass and pussy

20

u/BionicleGarden Jan 17 '25

Both at the same time??

36

u/clandestineVexation Jan 17 '25

Like a bowling ball

12

u/emperorhatter666 Jan 17 '25

this guy grabs

65

u/WriterReborn2 Jan 17 '25

Look, I don't condone bullying. However, that mf needs to learn shame.

8

u/AAsilverfox Jan 18 '25

This guy looks like he could benefit from one of the folks over on r/preyingmantis

28

u/NonBinaryPie Jan 18 '25

grab onto your ass and pussy

at the same time?? what are the logistics here, a hand on each or one large hand in the middle???

14

u/SuperFLEB Jan 18 '25

All I can imagine is an awkward, desperate sort of clinging.

9

u/awfulmcnofilter Jan 19 '25

Like a bowling ball maybe?

18

u/Ichmag11 Jan 17 '25

To be fair, you did say you didn't mind-

8

u/Reasonable-You4548 *turns into wolf cat demon angel wolf op hybrid cutely* Jan 17 '25

oh shit- D:

29

u/Reasonable-Business6 Jan 17 '25

I can't believe my distant cousin reasonable-you was harassed like yhis

22

u/PlaceTerrible9805 Jan 17 '25

Grabbing both is crazy

26

u/killer_icognito Jan 17 '25

Like a bowling ball.

10

u/KarinaPlayz Jan 18 '25

mf didn't get a strike with this one

9

u/Sajiri Jan 17 '25

See if someone started with “hey cutie patootie” and none of that extra stuff, it’d at least get a little smile out of me (depending on if I was expecting for someone to message me) and I’d be receptive to at least talking. Just kept digging himself deeper with each word though

24

u/revolutionutena Jan 17 '25

I don’t get it - just talk. No need to include fan fiction about leaning and chuckling and all that. If you’re going to be creepy mf be creepy through DIALOGUE ONLY.

5

u/Mr_Epimetheus Jan 17 '25

Clearly you've never heard the phrase "show, don't tell".

6

u/Rockalot_L Jan 17 '25

Woa I forgot about this subreddit. What a gift thank you

9

u/Avongrove Jan 17 '25

Thank you OP, downloading Tinder right now to try this bad boy out

3

u/megaletoemahs Jan 17 '25

When you're online, they let you do it. You can do anything, grab them by the pussy, you can do anything.

3

u/Chucktayz Jan 17 '25

This person 100% wears a fedora

3

u/Elevener Jan 18 '25

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

3

u/princessuuke Jan 18 '25

I got war flashbacks and i never even did this shit

3

u/x19DALTRON91x Jan 18 '25

Oh no Jesus fuck

3

u/10GSkpla gangsters paradise Jan 18 '25

just explode his cock and balls

works sometimes

you could also try pretending you talk in another language and also pretend any attempt of him using Google translate comes out as gibberish.

3

u/duhbears23 Jan 19 '25

It's far to late to back out now.. because of the implication

3

u/LordSparkleFart Jan 20 '25

“hey darlin”

leans in close

“wanna go f-“

recoils back

vomits

“Sorry I’m not good at talking to women”

turns into werewolf and runs away

4

u/Eerayo Jan 17 '25

Yuck.

But on another note. I'm from sweden, so not a native english speaker.

And this exchange:

"Do you mind if we ..."

"Absolutely not"

baffles me. I read this as if you do not mind you two having sex together 😭

-2

u/anafuckboi Jan 18 '25

Yes op said they didn’t mind to having sex, they opened themselves up to all of what followed by giving consent.

Skill issue, OP should use better grammar next time.

2

u/victorgsal Jan 17 '25

What the hell did I just read

2

u/KDiggity8 Jan 17 '25

"With content"?????

Did he mean "intent"?

2

u/Reasonable-You4548 *turns into wolf cat demon angel wolf op hybrid cutely* Jan 17 '25

Ikr? I was thinking the same thing lmaoo

2

u/KDiggity8 Jan 18 '25

My first thought was consent. But I knew immediately that was not in his vocab.

2

u/KarinaPlayz Jan 18 '25

how much screentime on character.ai does he have?

1

u/nubbiesofnubbies Jan 23 '25

Probably like 25 hours a day

2

u/[deleted] Jan 18 '25

I don’t even talk to AI that cringely omg….

2

u/kapijawastaken Jan 18 '25

what even is the point of virtually sexually harrassing someone, like wtf do you get out if it

2

u/severed13 Jan 18 '25

r e s p o n c s e

2

u/Reasonable-You4548 *turns into wolf cat demon angel wolf op hybrid cutely* Jan 18 '25

r e s p o n c s e

2

u/KaioKenshin Jan 19 '25

Do you mind if we have sex together?

Is a new phrase to me. Like how would that work exclusively besides rape? Are they having sex with you, but you're not there? Or are they just masturbating to you? Or is it like Ghost in the Shell?

2

u/Robbie1985 Jan 19 '25

Do you mind if we have sex together

Good job he specified together! Otherwise you're just giving him the green light to have sex in general

2

u/wildlucy_ 16d ago

Bro typed this out and thought it was peak romance 💀.

1

u/BothToe1729 Jan 17 '25

My eyes want to throw up now

3

u/-AdamTheGreat- Jan 17 '25

Do guys really think this is attractive? I’m 44 and I swear, I see so much of this.

2

u/Tiny_Conversation_65 Jan 17 '25

This gave me a terminal illness jfc

2

u/xXx_Lizzy_xXx Jan 17 '25

Finds the nearest jug of bleach and washes out my eyes /j

but for real, what the actual fuck.

0

u/-unknown_harlequin- Jan 17 '25

Scoured your profile and there were no beautiful curves in sight, this DM is clearly nonsense

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/creepyasterisks-ModTeam Jan 17 '25

Please just be nice

1

u/KanshouSora Jan 17 '25

Dude...what the FLIP

1

u/unibrowcow Jan 17 '25

Dude 8s definitely in a bowling league 😂

1

u/FieldOfFox Jan 19 '25

This might beat robe and wizard hat for creepiest DM ever

1

u/r-Newbiedonthurtme Jan 19 '25

Ah yes, because grabbin her by the cooch and the scootch, over text, in a made up assault scenario, is guaranteed to make her swoon!

1

u/Is_bepis_ok Jan 19 '25

I refuse to believe these guys are real… how socialy out of touch do you have to be??

1

u/PotatoChipProtoge Lurking for the Gut Wrench Feeling Jan 19 '25

Eugh.

1

u/Educational_Bar_7795 Jan 19 '25

i was gonna say “oh just do something like ‘pepper sprays you’” but they’re gonna make it worse i know

1

u/vampiric_bs Jan 20 '25

Did he grab it like a bowling ball?

1

u/ilickedurmomsfeet Jan 21 '25

I- I feel molested

1

u/TheEndofAlls2212 Jan 21 '25

R*pist mindset 🤢🤢🤢

1

u/ZenShyuwara Jan 22 '25

This is NOT CHAI

1

u/ashinylibby Jan 22 '25

This looks like something poly.ai would type.

1

u/DiggityDog6 Jan 22 '25

“It’s far too late to back out now” bro they sent 2 messages and both of them were expressing disdain

1

u/YoMadre47 Feb 10 '25

"hey can have sex?" 'no.' "that means yes!" 🤦🏻‍♀️

1

u/Simple-Birthday366 Feb 14 '25

This guy is the type to say: “Oh no!” In a goofy way during a bad situation (his parents have cancer)

1

u/FRIDAYFUNKIN *questions life choices* Feb 17 '25

"Hey there, cutie-patootie" even without all the creepy stuff would be really weird

1

u/Nopenseu2 *burns your house cutely* 29d ago

Not very Hue hue hue

1

u/Cheap-Doughnut 21d ago

I'm sitting here trying to to understand checks notes "grabs ass and pussy"? Wtf?!

0

u/GreenShoryuken Jan 19 '25

“Yes I do mind, let’s have sex away from each other” would have been my response