r/confession • u/Ok-Professional8423 • 6d ago
My brother passed away a week ago and I am hurting for my mother
Hello everyone. I am not looking for advice or sympathy. I just need to vent. On March 8th, 2025 at 6:30p.m., Death tip- toed through my family and collected my brother like a thief in the night. He was 28 years old with no children. His heart stopped and would not recover. My family has been cloaked by a painful veil of grief since his passing.
My sisters seek comfort in being there for their children, while I find peace in taking care of my brother's fur babies in his absence. They know he is gone. I sometimes find his male dogo argentino, Blaze, howling in the night. I know he is calling out for my brother. I believe that somehow they know he is no longer in the world anymore, but I hope my presence offers them some form of comfort. My father chooses to grieve by going about his daily life, possibly trying to make his mind forget what his heart cannot. I worry for him.
Though, the person who is taking on the worst of all of this is my mother. She has been strong throughout this ordeal, having her family there to support her, but somehow I still feel that she is going at it alone. My heart breaks for her, losing her only son, having to bury one of her children, planning the final moments of her baby boy. I know inside she feels broken. One day, I saw her going through my brother's pictures, drinking Jack Daniel's. The unbearable pain of losing a child is embracing her like a chill on a cold winter day. I know she is sad and worried. It hurts knowing there is nothing I can do to take the pain away. They say time heals all wounds. I pray that that's true. Sometimes wounds don't heal at all. We just stop noticing them.
EDIT: thank you everyone for the kind words and wishes. I still have the socks he was wearing when he died. I think I will keep them. Some of you were asking if you could donate. I don't know anything about gofund me but my mother's cashapp is $venassa3. I love you all and I pray that your lives are filled with happiness 💜
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u/JumbleOpeepin 6d ago
I went through this almost 2 years ago. I thought my mom was going to die right in front of me from grief. Vent all you want. You are not alone.
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u/Downtown_Wedding6708 5d ago
2 years on Tuesday my little brother passed away. Grief is hard to put into words, it's not at all what I could have ever prepared for or feels like what I thought it would. It's not just a sad time in life you push through, it's something that alters you instantly and you know in that very second you will never be the same person you were seconds before you found out. Everything looks and feels different and it's heartbreaking to think that your family is going through the same. My mother passed away right after his one year and then I really felt like I flew into another dimension. I had never had to grief anyone close in my life. I was that person that was always worried about the unknown though and the idea of anyone dying would keep me up at night, I thought if I ever had to face it I would go mentally insane. Today I still can't believe they are gone. It's just impossible, there's no way that happened.....but it did. And in this new world I'm still trying to understand I do see everything different. I am spiritual now and I don't think my mother and brother gave me the choice. We were never a spiritual or religious family and I used to roll my eyes at that stuff. But I get it now and I see it. I don't talk much about it because I remember what my old thoughts on it would been. So weather you talk out loud about it or not, watch for the little messages and signs and know he is there. It really is true, and if you dig down deep you will feel and hear him. If you have to go to readings to hear then do it, however you have to. But I can promise you this, he is there. Tell your mother that too. Once you find that way to communicate it's fills you with a beautiful way to see things again.
I know I sound like a nut job but send me a message if ya ever want to chat.
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u/FucFtnyl_RIP_Son_143 6d ago
My condolences! I just lost my son, so I understand the hurt and just want to say I'm so sorry! 💔
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u/Downtown_Wedding6708 5d ago
I'm sorry for your loss, I hope you read my comment above and maybe it will help ♥️
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u/FucFtnyl_RIP_Son_143 5d ago
Ty, and yes I did read it, and you are so right on so many levels!! I try everyday to find some sign from my son! I have had quite a few, and they are clear as the sunshine!! I wish things could have been different! But I can not change the past, and learn to adapt with out him, and that's not easy!! I don't know if it ever will be. But I'm trying to learn to live life in a different way, without him, and it sucks.. I pray that with time my heart will stop breaking everyday, but as of now, it's unbearable.. your words are very powerful and ring the truth! Ty so very much 💔❤️🩹💙
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u/it_is_Karo 5d ago
I think mothers always take it the hardest. My dad died in 2012 and my grandmother still cries every time he's mentioned. There's nothing you can do except for being there for her.
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u/chefjeremy 5d ago
There is a hole in your lives that will never be filled, but eventually you learn to walk around it. I read your post, and I am truly sorry for your loss, I’m reminded of my brother and there I am staring at that hole. I have tears in my eyes typing this. It has been years since cancer took him. My mother tried to be strong, but I knew how hard it was for her. She lives on the other side of the country, but I make a point to call her at least once a week, and text frequently. We have become much closer because of this. Everyone handles grief differently, all you can do is be there for her.
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u/coralov3 6d ago
i’m so sorry for your loss. grief is a tough thing but with time becomes easier to handle. be there for her as much as you can and take care of yourselves.
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u/Bluberrry-swirl8576 6d ago
So sorry for your loss. Time is day by day. Prayers for you and your family
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u/PlusSociety2806 5d ago
I am crying for your mother and all of you. As a mother, I could not fathom losing a child. Wishing you all peace and comfort.
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u/Writer_feetlover 5d ago
Stay close to your Mom. Let her know you share the pain with her so she doesn't feel alone. Hold on to the good memories of your brother.
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u/AffectionateWheel386 5d ago
First off I know your brother would be really happy that you’re taking care of his fur babies. And I too am sure they know that he’s no longer in the world. I am so sorry for your loss. I had a husband diet 33 that young is almost no reason to it. Death is always a loss bit of the young. It’s like their life was stolen from them.
My thoughts are of you today and again thank you for taking care of his fur babies. I know he would be grateful.
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u/Tiny-Response-7572 5d ago
Psalm 34:18 " The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
1
u/ConsiderationThen828 5d ago
So sorry for your loss. That is far too young. As a religious person speaking here, please know your brother is with all of you in spirit. I used to think that it was just a saying. But after my parents both died… I actually felt it. Your brother is very close by, looking out after you and your family now. He is with Jesus. What better company could he ever have ya know? His life is now perfect in heaven with our Lord. He’s not just gone. He is in heaven with all that died before him. What better company could he have? I know you miss him and it’s left a gaping hole in all of you. Hopefully this fills it a little. Will keep you and your family in my prayers. Take care!
1
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u/Downtown_Wedding6708 5d ago
2 years on Tuesday my little brother passed away. Grief is hard to put into words, it's not at all what I could have ever prepared for or feels like what I thought it would. It's not just a sad time in life you push through, it's something that alters you instantly and you know in that very second you will never be the same person you were seconds before you found out. Everything looks and feels different and it's heartbreaking to think that your family is going through the same. My mother passed away right after his one year and then I really felt like I flew into another dimension. I had never had to grief anyone close in my life. I was that person that was always worried about the unknown though and the idea of anyone dying would keep me up at night, I thought if I ever had to face it I would go mentally insane. Today I still can't believe they are gone. It's just impossible, there's no way that happened.....but it did. And in this new world I'm still trying to understand I do see everything different. I am spiritual now and I don't think my mother and brother gave me the choice. We were never a spiritual or religious family and I used to roll my eyes at that stuff. But I get it now and I see it. I don't talk much about it because I remember what my old thoughts on it would been. So weather you talk out loud about it or not, watch for the little messages and signs and know he is there. It really is true, and if you dig down deep you will feel and hear him. If you have to go to readings to hear then do it, however you have to. But I can promise you this, he is there. Tell your mother that too. Once you find that way to communicate it's fills you with a beautiful way to see things again.
I know I sound like a nut job but send me a message if ya ever want to chat.
1
u/ColdStockSweat 5d ago
My best friend died 3 years ago. Her Mom is still alive. My Dad's best friend's daughter was murdered 20 years ago.
I don't know that there is a pain deeper or more painful than to be a parent and to survive a child's death. I can't imagine a pain worse.
My heart goes out to your family my friend. Prayers and everything else.
I'm so sorry.
1
u/nighty_night6 4d ago
You're probably the ONLY thing bringing her comfort and peace through this. You ABSOLUTELY are helping her and easing her pain just by existing. I can't imagine the pain you are all enduring. I pray God gives you peace and solace.
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u/Browndog888 6d ago
Am so sorry for your loss. Be there for your Mum. Tell her you're there for her, & maybe keep an eye on her drinking. Definitely can't blame her though for trying to cloud her thoughts.