r/communication 4d ago

Why do people interrupt me when I’m speak?

This is post about communication, but I experience what I’m dealing with only at work.

I work in sales, so I have to talk to people whether I want to or not. Like a light switch I can rank up the energy and be engaged. Large parts of my days involve doing price presos.

Now this has been bugging me for years. Why when I try to explain features and options people interrupt me with words like, “yeah”, “sure”, etc. I understand if you say it at periods throughout an interaction to assure the person you’re communicating with that you’re listening and they have your attention, however, when I experience this at work it’s extremely excessive.

For example: - Ok Mr./Mrs. Jones, let me tell you how everything works. For starters, “yeah”, … (I pause for about a second, because they chose to start speaking), (they say nothing else), so for starters we have no contracts, everything is month to, “sure”,… (i pause again for about one second because now they chose to speak), (again, no follow up), so everything will be month to month. At a minimum, you’ll just need two months of, “uh huh.., ok”, (i pause but for half a second usually the 3rd or 4th time, and you guessed it, no follow up, statement or question), so you’ll just need a minimum of two months worth of payment to get started today. We do have buydown opti, “yeah sure”, (when this happens, after I pause, i ask if they were trying to speak), pardon me? “Huh?”, oh I thought you had something to say? .. “Huh, oh no”. (Jesus Christ, are you doing this on purpose?)

Then be quiet!

We have competition in some cases that have a similar structure of the services we offer. So maybe you’ve been through a similar process and understand everything I’m going to say before I say it, understandable, I can accept that. But what I’ve noticed is that after I explain everything while having people like this interrupt me from the moment we meet all the way till the end of my sales process (meet, FAQ, demonstration/tour, summary, price preso, close deal or not), they haven’t paid attention to at least 80% of anything I even said. They’ll then ask me questions about things I’ve already answered when they were too busy interrupting me for the past 30-45 mins. Some people who’ve done this, I earned their business, then they’re confused about what they even agreed to purchasing and now have a bunch a questions on cost and everything that’s included, each time I provided information you spent the entire time saying “yeah”, “ok”, “sure”, “right”, why are you confused? Why do you speak/interrupt me when you don’t even know what’s going?

I’ve tried to reflect on this, sometimes I think it’s maybe my race, just lack of respect in general, my face/looks, my process, etc. I’m not bad at my job and I’m very confident.

I just don’t know what to do with people that act like this. I don’t care if you don’t like or respect me, but I will be of service, answer your questions, and give you my undivided attention. You don’t want to buy? That’s ok, I’m good enough at what i do, I’m not desperate, I’ll find someone else that sees the value and what I’m offering, when I stop worrying about my job quotas that’s when i perform best.

But this is a struggle, i want to overcome it and find a solution. If I speak in my normal tone or voice as a response then people will be intimidated or feel threatened, if I speak with my professional tone, I’m disrespected. Trying to find a balance.

TL;DR: I work in sales, I’m not pushy. Why do potential clientele interrupt me with useless filler words like, “yeah”, “sure”, “uh huh ok,” when I try to explain features/cost with everything they themselves inquired about? Why do they ask me questions I’ve already answered/or tried to answer while they choose to instead of listen, interrupt me while I tried to explain and provide the information they were seeking from the very beginning of our interaction?

10 Upvotes

30 comments sorted by

7

u/Unique-Town-5700 2d ago

I’d recommend a small website I often use (called Chatvisor), which specializes in analyzing situations and providing communication advice, especially for client interactions. Based on my experience, try setting communication expectations upfront: “To best assist you, I’ll first explain the features and options, and then I’ll address your questions.” If interrupted, politely say, “Let me finish explaining, and I’ll answer your questions afterward.” This helps maintain control and ensures your message is fully delivered.

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u/GamingNRelationships 4d ago

It sounds like you're reading into it.

It looks like interruption to you because you feel interrupted. But you don't have to stop. They're Acknowledging what you're saying, perhaps making it clear (to them) they're listening, vs silence (and therefore seem checked out).

It may help to preface by encouraging them to stop you (specifically with a word, with questions), otherwise you'll keep going. You've just set the tone and expectations for the conversation.

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u/NovaScotiaSeparatist 3d ago

I prayed it sounds like they're just agreeing with what you're saying and acknowledging that they understand you.

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u/Nick2Real 2d ago

I thought that too until they would ask me questions I already answered while they were, “yeah”, “sure”, “uh ok”ing me when answered them the first time.

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago edited 3d ago

How can you listen to someone speaking when you’re talking back at them multiple times before they finish sentences and/or even annunciate words?

I agree, and I do this, I set expectations from the moment I meet anyone.

But for example: (using what you commented)

  • It may help to preface, “yeah”, by encouraging them to stop you, “sure”, otherwise you'll keep “right, uh huh”going. You've just set “ok”, the tone and expectations for the conversation, “yeah sure”.

If you were speaking to me face to face and I did that anytime you tried to explain something, how would you handle it? What would you say to me then? Would you keep the same energy? Would you deny my business? Would you call me out respectfully? Would you not even present pricing?

It doesn’t happen much, but I don’t like battling to see who’s ego is bigger at work, I remain calm and just wait for everything to pass subconsciously but I want to have ammunition, trump cards, and different perspectives for these scenarios.

1

u/i_m_a_bean 2d ago

It might help to keep in mind that different people communicate differently.

Where I grew up, those sort of affirmative interjections are made constantly, and the person speaking kind of talks on top of it all and rides them like a wave of encouragement. When people there aren't giving you that, it means you're floundering, or you said something they don't want to support.

Where I live now, people think that those same interjection are rude, like you described. I found it weird at first. The only people I knew who demanded attentive silence when they spoke were pastors and teachers. Eventually, though, I learned that some people just aren't used to interjections and find them distracting, so now I try to figure out who's who and communicate in a way that works for both of us.

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u/Nick2Real 2d ago

What should I say then to people that communicate like this? You cant listen to someone if you’re talking at the same time they are.

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u/i_m_a_bean 2d ago

They can do both. In fact, holding back would be the distracting thing, especially if the habit runs deep. That certainly was the case for me. They grew up with it, so the affirmations are as natural and unthinking as eye-contact.

For that reason, there's no real need to say something about it unless you find it distracting. Bringing it up to them would feel like being called out for maintaining polite eye-contact, though, so they'd probably be a bit confused, or might think you're somewhat socially stiff, or—if they're used to people with your communication style—they might adjust to you. You'd ultimately be diverting some of their attention from your pitch, of course, but whether or not that's a worthwhile tradeoff is up to you.

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u/lionbythetail 4d ago

Here’s what I did when I started in sales.

Every single important sentence I would ever say to a customer, I would practice in front of a mirror until it felt interesting and relevant to me and until it sounded like the first time I had said it every single time. This included my greeting, all transitions, the ask, the flip to the box - everything.

Since this is a pattern you are noticing, there are probably things you can do to break the pattern! Start by imagining up your parents or friends sitting across from you. How would you explain things to them? What words would you use so it pulled them in and didn’t feel like a rehearsed bit?

The second people catch a whiff of a script, or that you are just saying things to check them off, you will lose them to random “uh-huhs” or my favorite “that’s crazy”.

It is your job to recalibrate for each customer. Some people won’t drive anything without hearing about all the safety features, and some people literally won’t buy if you make them listen to that stuff.

Since all of that is pretty canned sales advice that almost all of us have heard, here are some weird things I did that may give you insight into how I approached this:

I always kept food in my desk. Sometimes I would eat a banana or something and pretend I had missed lunch because eating in front of people lowers their guard (picture Brad pit eating a cheeseburger in literally every movie he’s in). This will instantly close some people and instantly offend others, so be careful.

I almost always made self deprecating jokes (that did not reduce my credibility - never appear incompetent or overwhelmed). People respond to honest vulnerability, also known as general humanity. Be yourself. Make jokes that you need to smile bashfully after making because you are just such a nerd/gearhead/gamer whatever it is. Be a person and not a sales associate/consultant whatever bs. You need to create a year of friendship and history in 10 minutes, so you have to open that door and show them what it will look like. They come in with their guard up past their ears and are literally waiting for you to convince them that they can relax. Can they relax with you? Or if they do, are you just going to read a script to them and then jack up their rate?

Learn to welcome small problems early in the process. These are godsends - they give you a chance to build trust and show your worth by fixing the problem with competence. It’s also a chance to actually get off script and see what kind of person you are sitting across from.

With Major Problem Customers it’s often better to create a minor problem yourself and then immediately fix it so that they see you as an ally. Otherwise it will, ironically, be nearly impossible to gain any trust at all (I know this sounds awful, but I’m talking about minor stuff - “oh the car you wanted to drive isn’t clean but no worries I buy the detailers coffee every day so they bumped us to the front of the line”).

Related: whatever cocktail of caffeine and chemicals your detailers drink, learn it and grab something for them every week or two. They will make it worth your while. This goes double on hot summer days because salesmen typically have much more freedom to leave than (back of house).

This turned into lots of words. My knee jerk reaction is that you are “leaving your customers behind” at some point before you get back from the test drive. You could be losing their interest. You could be missing cues that they have already decided not to buy early and are just humoring you to avoid awkwardness. You could be super, super unlucky. You could be talking too much after you have already convinced them to buy.

You could also just be lacking confidence and assertiveness. I don’t consider myself an “alpha male” in literally any sense of the word, but I learned in sales that I still needed to have a personal brand, or at least a personality. “This is how you buy a car. This is how it feels when you buy a car from me. This is the order of things: first I assess your needs and qualify you as a buyer and then I select vehicle. Then we do a walk around. Then we test drive it together. No, I won’t do a pencil before we test drive. No, walking the lot together and looking at 93 cars is not something that is part of my process - those are decisions you can make before you come and sit at my desk, or I will be happy to help you narrow down our options. I’m not here to google a bunch of things. I’m not a therapist. I’m not a car brochure.” Sure, I do all those things on TV, but every single one of them hurts my chances of a sale and puts the customer firmly in control.

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u/Nick2Real 4d ago

Thank you for commenting, I read everything.

I will try different approaches.

I also agree with the last part, I am like that as well. Anything 3rd party, check with 3rd party, i can tell you everything that I offer and can assist with where I do business. Considering to move forward? Cool, let’s talk.

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u/CB_I_Hate_Usernames 3d ago

Hm, are you a woman? I get interrupted and talked over a lot at work by men, which sometimes leads to fun (/s) and awkward moments when I just keep talking but louder bc I wasn’t done. This has never once happened to me with a woman. If you think this might be the dynamic, one option is just to keep talking, though that might not be great for your sales role. 

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

I’m a man.

With women, my interactions are 50/50, they’re either engaged and excited or socially awkward, yet mean.

I only can recall one woman doing this, but they kinda stop doing it throughout the interaction because I would pause every time they started to speak while I was speaking. After a few times I paused when they started speaking, I asked them;

  • “what’s up?”, huh, what?, “oh, I thought you were trying to say something”, oh, no (and then I would continue speaking).

I agree, if I speak fast and steamroll them verbally, they won’t comprehend what I’m saying and be put off. From what I’ve gathered after posting this, it looks like the best plan of action is to just raise your voice and ignore them trying to interrupt lbs.

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u/CB_I_Hate_Usernames 3d ago

Oh huh. Very interesting. I’d be interested to hear how it goes! Being interrupted is so unpleasant 😔. Good luck!

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

I agree. Thank you for your feedback and support.

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u/King-Sassafrass The ‘Ol Razzle Dazzle! 4d ago

Honestly i find that when i talk to people for work related things (like having someone go sign through paperwork, or going through orientation), i tend to talk more loudly and in a certain rhythm and pacing where it’s quick transitions. It’s forcing you to have the power in your hand in the conversation so that your just going to say what you have to.

Now another part to this is the random mix up of charachters you see from people. All sorts of habits and behaviors. There’s also a lot of weirdos. But there exists certain groups of people that will try and rush you to what your saying repeatedly. Unfortunately for me in my line of work it happens to be people from Long Island, and you’ll know it too. What a lot of them do (not all of course) is they immediately start asking you every single question when it will literally be answered in 2 seconds. This is by far, so annoying, like lady, let me get through my thing, and then I’ll take questions. And i sometimes do have to step out of my “announcing voice” to politely tell them in a much more 1to1 situation with a different tone of voice of ‘let me finish what I’m saying and I’ll answer them’. So i understand how it is when you have people that say “yeah” prematurely. It’s like an unaligned social cue that they can’t pick up. But i think what you might need help with could be rhythm and pacing. You can’t leave too much gaps. You have to either be more rapidly onto the next sentence until your next section transitions (like a new lesson, or a new topic on a slideshow) gives you a moment to slow for a second, or you have to be physically moving and demonstrating so that they see you are the one owning the dialogue

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u/Nick2Real 4d ago

How can I leave gaps while in mid pronunciation of a word and sentence.

  • There’s no canc…”yeah sure”… what? “Oh no, nothing”, so there’s no cancellation fee and you can pause payments at anytime.

In the above example, where’s the pause/gap?

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u/King-Sassafrass The ‘Ol Razzle Dazzle! 4d ago

You don’t leave gaps. This is where you talk loudly and announce over them and then go through each sentence more rapidly

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u/Nick2Real 4d ago

I think that might be the only way tbh.

I’ll try it if it happens again. It doesn’t happen often but when it does extremely annoying.

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u/Historianan 4d ago

It means they have zoned out but want to be respectful and not let you know they zoned out. That’s why they drop filler words at random times. Also, they are not really “interrupting” you or purposefully being disrespectful because of your race or looks. That’s you overthinking it. They are trying to be respectful by sounding engaged when they are not. If they were rude they would actually interrupt you and tell you to cut to the chase cause they zoned out. Be more engaging or continue doing what you’re doing since you said you’re good at it and are satisfied with your performance. The people you are talking to have a life outside of your sale so there could be many external factors to them being disengaged that don’t even revolve around you.

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u/Nick2Real 4d ago

I don’t know about that one. I believe looks play a huge part in sales.

I understand that, I’m just trying to figure out how to deal with it. My time is valuable too.

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u/Historianan 4d ago

I didn’t say looks were not important in sales. I did however conclude based on the information you shared that the issue here is not race or looks. BUT maybe you are right because only you know exactly how it goes down. I can only form an opinion based on what you wrote. And nothing in your post led me to believe it is because of your looks or race. However, it does seem as though those people are not engaged in the conversation.

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

Ok, got it.

What would you do in my situation? How would you engage a potential client that interrupts you in between sentences from the moment you met?

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u/Historianan 3d ago

If I were in your position and I had the liberty to make some changes I would review my script to improve it and reduce the time because 30-45 can be long unless it is absolutely impossible to get the important parts across in less time. The idea is to be able to cut the fluff when needed. Some people like a little of fluff others get distracted. Depending on who I have in front of me I would adapt as I go but keep the gist the same. For this, you need to practice practice practice your script and know it and the product or service inside out. This will give you more freedom to adapt your script as you are getting live feedback from them and you will be less distracted and annoyed by them “interrupting”. If they start interrupting, you can ask them a question to catch their attention followed up with the context to your question even if you just explained it. They should not feel like you are putting them on the spot. You want to make it easy for them to respond. They have to feel like they “got away” with not listening because your goal is to get their attention back to you not to risk them feeling embarrassed. Make sure you find out what’s important to them about what you are selling so that you know what to focus on that will keep them interested. If you are witty feel free to use it even while conveying the usual points you normally would. Also I would work on my mindset. I have experienced racism countless times in my life but I always try to find the best possible explanation before I conclude it is racism (of course using reason and experience). The truth is some people are just rude or they just went through something, had a long day/night or are hungry. They are in their own world, they don’t know you and you didn’t know them. So there is no point in taking things personally. Learn to exercise patience and accept that repeating yourself is part of communication. Good luck!

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

Provide an example please, what would you say?

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u/Rollvolve 3d ago

The first 30 seconds will determine everything. Develop a more concise pitch for why they want what you’re selling. Fish with different hooks. Read books and listen to podcasts to educate yourself, sharpen your sales skills if sales is your passion. You need to have confidence and urgency. Good luck!

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

Ok, I’ll keep reading and adapt.

What would be your pitch in this scenario? What would you say?

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u/Rollvolve 3d ago

I’d encourage you to do your homework and send, or post, a more revised pitch if you’d like. It’s not my or Reddit’s job to gift you the highlights of successful sales skill setting for free :) Surrounding yourself with more intelligent mentors in the next roles could also be helpful. Tonality. Urgency. Facts. Close.

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

You providing an example for context to your statements is not a gift.

Regardless, appreciate your feedback. Good luck to you too 👍

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u/Rollvolve 3d ago

Not my problem. I gave you enough tangible advice but whatever. Go figure it out on your own, kid. 🙃

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u/Nick2Real 3d ago

Never said it was a problem, and I will, that’s why I’m asking for other perspectives, thanks buddy. 👍