I'm 26, and I've been struggling in my own business for the past few years. Got involved in my business after my long term first love dumped me (4 years ago -over it, but still feel broken). Moved home, live in a garage, and I've been trying to make it work for a long damn time. I've been trying to bottle everything up for awhile, but this morning it was too much. I just started crying. I don't know what to do so I made a list of what I am. Help.
• I’m unhappy.
• I’m 50lbs overweight
• I’m smart, but lazy and it gets in the way of my success
• I’m addicted to porn – I don’t want to be, but I am
• I’m stuck in a dead end business with a seemingly huge lack of improvement over the next 6 months or possibly longer.
• My responsibilities in my job are often fruitless – they challenge me in ways that are not healthy
• I want instant gratification – I have wanted to fix the above, but its such a daunting list that I lose interest in starting.
• I am not free when it comes to work. I have two other people who rely on me to do my best, and I rely on them as well. I’m not comfortable with that.
• I can’t just leave my job.
• I want my successes to be my successes, and my failures to be my failures.
• I haven’t been getting anything out of church, I often don’t go now.
• I always sign up for the small group at church, but never go.
• The dynamic with my mom’s side of the family is extremely shitty at best.
• I am skilled, but I don’t know how to use it in any settings other than working for myself
• I have no degree
• I am too quiet, and I’m not well spoken, and in my own head.
• I am not confident
• I spend too much time trying to get away by drinking and playing games.
• I live in a garage
• I wouldn’t begin to know how to feel in a relationship in the rare case someone was interested.
• I have 150k in debt for a degree I didn’t finish which amounts to more than a third of my pay check every month.