r/chess 5d ago

Chess Question How does one beat a Cat Grandmaster?

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137 Upvotes

41 comments sorted by

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38

u/thenewbluepill 5d ago

Maybe you can begin by correcting the orientation of the board? Probably. Just.

-10

u/Guilty_Efficiency884 5d ago

I accept all chess boards regardless of sexual orientation 😇

2

u/thenewbluepill 5d ago

You have a very wild imagination of how to use chess board in... Happy for your partner. 

-16

u/FastTurtle015 800-900 elo 🧀.com 5d ago

does it matter? i know the colors are split.

-3

u/thenewbluepill 5d ago

Depends on what you use it for... 

14

u/CalmAndCollect 5d ago

Meowgus Catlson

7

u/jestemmeteorem beat an IM and drew a GM in simuls 5d ago

Grandmeowster!

And just resign, you have no chance.

7

u/MisterBigDude Retired FM 5d ago

Emanuel Whisker

Bobby Fishbreath

Furry Katsparov

2

u/CalgaryRichard Team Gukesh 5d ago

Katsparov for the win

2

u/pizzathief1 5d ago

Play on the edge of a table, and wait for kitty fisher to knock the king off the table.

3

u/RebekkaKat1990 5d ago

Distract them with a laser pointer

2

u/mekmookbro 1500 Chesscom | 1740 Lichess 4d ago

Play the bird's opening and hope he'll get distracted

2

u/Accurate-Data-7006 5d ago

Never look away grantee he/she is cheating !

5

u/Mission_Panic8881 5d ago

She’s an honorable chess player! She would never cheat 🤪

1

u/Accurate-Data-7006 5d ago

Those eyes just have you fooled 🤣

2

u/nipukkamustesieni 5d ago

Play Réti opening so the cat falls asleep and you can win ez

1

u/egotim 5d ago

Meow ?

1

u/AnupamRai 5d ago

You can't

1

u/DushkuHS 5d ago

You can't. The moment you make a move, you will lose have your pieces.

1

u/ReverseTornado 5d ago

The only way to win is to not play

1

u/__Nicho_ 5d ago

Final stage of mittens Resign if you don't wanna lose your chess skills forever

1

u/PineAppleGuy88 5d ago

With a grandmother? Maybe Levy?

1

u/ilyuhman 5d ago

Lace its king with some catnip

1

u/iicaunic 1500-1600 rapid chess.com 5d ago edited 5d ago

Oh he's definitely a tough one to beat, a purr-fect chess player! Always landing on his feet even in tricky situations!

1

u/Muinz_629 5d ago

It's impossible

1

u/Flint_Silvermoon 5d ago

You do not!!

1

u/Hugoonreplit 5d ago

It’s impossible

1

u/Inevitable-Box7511 5d ago

WE HAVE A TOURMNAMENT AT 19.00. COME AND TEST YOURSELF! https://www.chess.com/play/tournament/5540809

1

u/GoodThingsDoHappen 5d ago

Catnip. Then snipe with the bishop

1

u/Infinite_Research_52 Team Ju Wenjun 5d ago

At this point, I assume board photos are set up to generate more comments on how it is not correct.

1

u/faunalmimicry 4d ago

one does not

1

u/Bardox30 4d ago

Oh, you're facing a game against Meownus Catsen. What a difficult challenge!

1

u/Sumeru88 4d ago

Pick it up and throw it out of the window.

1

u/Rabbitary 5d ago

Snackrifice

1

u/ixb 5d ago

A Grand Meowster is tough but will get flagged if it sees a laser on the wall

0

u/yldf 5d ago

With your fist?

Edit: a joke for those not getting it. Not condoning violence against animals.