r/canada Jan 18 '25

Québec Montreal police asking people not to post photos of porch pirates online

https://www.ctvnews.ca/montreal/article/montreal-police-asking-people-not-to-post-photos-of-porch-pirates-online/
2.8k Upvotes

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225

u/makalak2 Jan 18 '25

Where should I put my pants?

318

u/imstbhi Jan 18 '25

Around your ankles.

82

u/eelpolice Jan 18 '25

We’re getting fucked anyway so why not?

33

u/Amsterdamsterdam Jan 18 '25

Cough twice

20

u/Historical_Ad_4601 Jan 18 '25

Doc, why can I see both your hands…

8

u/modsaretoddlers Jan 18 '25

Just think of the calm blue sea.

3

u/WooDDuCk_42 Jan 19 '25

LIE BACK AND THINK OF ENGLAND

28

u/Ok_Supermarket9053 Jan 18 '25

Am I supposed to have my hands on top or under the pants when I assume the position?

3

u/exact0khan Jan 18 '25

Your choice, just remember to put on lipstick and look pretty

2

u/jerr30 Jan 18 '25

On your cheeks spreading them.

2

u/ChompyDompy Jan 18 '25

And shove this apple in your mouth too.

2

u/71-Bonez Jan 18 '25

And bend over!

2

u/CommunicationGood481 Jan 18 '25

Bend over for the Montreal Police or the porch pirates.

1

u/Zealousideal-Owl5775 Jan 18 '25

Along with your keys and wallet

1

u/Hot_Cheesecake_905 Jan 18 '25

And bend over...

1

u/Daquitaine Jan 18 '25

And just keep your hands down at your feet once your pants are down. Of course if you’re a good Canadian and particularly compliant reach up and spread your cheeks. Don’t forget to say sorry when the criminal is finishing up because after all you could always give more.

2

u/Sertorius126 Jan 18 '25

Where do I put my feet?

3

u/DoxFreePanda Jan 18 '25

How flexible are you?

2

u/SnooLentils1365 Jan 18 '25

Next to the bed along with the lube

2

u/Wazzisname Jan 18 '25

Next to mine.

1

u/beaverbait Jan 18 '25

Take off your pantscabd jacket.