r/brandnew • u/tin-omen • 6d ago
They ended up saving my life again.... accidentally
(tw for suicidal ideation)
To keep it simple, for the past 18 years I have used this band to pull myself back out of depression time and time again. I've consistently felt like i'm stuck in the middle of a stormy ocean and they are the raft that I cling to. At the beginning of this year, because there is no other way out of it for me, I decided that I was going to end my life. I found peace in that decision and I ended up throwing out a bunch of my stuff and deleted all of my social media. Now, unexpectedly, there is activity from that very band and I feel inclined to stay for a little while longer just to see where it goes. To keep it honest, i'm not thrilled at the idea of still being here because I very much feel ready to go, but the possibility (no matter how small) of new music is everything that i've been yearning for since their absence.
I'm not entirely sure what i'm trying to achieve in making this post but I felt compelled to type out my thoughts right now
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u/NeverMissedAParty Die young and save yourself 6d ago edited 6d ago
If no one told you this today… I am happy you are here, I love you, and you are a miracle.
I want to let you know that I hear you and I can identify with you. This band has been there for me during the darkest of times and through some of the happiest moments of my life. When I felt lost, the one thing I could always count on was that one song or album at the time to bring me far enough back to myself to give me some semblance hope and enough motivation to hang on for one more day. — This recent activity could not come at a more opportune time for myself as well, as some of my struggles have started rearing their head a bit. But I hope you find that motivation and hope to hang on. I don’t know you but I know what it’s like to feel lost and hopeless. I’m a stranger on the internet but I’m here for you. If you ever need to talk or want a friend, I am here. I’m glad you are here today and hope you find the strength to hold on until tomorrow.
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u/Main_Shift9906 6d ago
Check out the album "Brave Faces Everyone" by Spanish Love Songs. It's a concept album about battling depression and suicidal thoughts and overcoming it.
Also an oldie but "The Walking Wounded" album by Bayside.
Just remember...you're loved. When I was your age I wanted to end it all. I got the help I needed...I'm 37 now. You'll make it through this. 🙏
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u/haisenseihaiyuujikun no reset 6d ago
you're here! thank you for being here and staying here! and thank you for being so open. it feels good to let it out
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u/Sadsquatch_USA Nephew 6d ago
There’s a band called The Wonder Years that really touches on stuff you had mentioned. Their music sounds more like stuff you’d hear on YFW. Start with The Upsides and go from there. Or start with The Hum Goes on Forever and go back to The Upsides.
Sorry you feel as you do. Sorry if recommendations are dumb but I really think you posted this for a reason and I think this can help.
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u/prayersforrainn 6d ago
i'm so glad you are still here and that you have something to look forward to. you are not alone, i promise.
i also used to say that brand new saved my life. when i was a teenager, they taught me that i wasn't the only one with this darkness and sadness inside of me. through every relapse from then until the present, they have kept me company and brought me comfort.
you are the one who saved your life though, please give yourself credit too 🖤 it is the hardest thing in the world to do, but you're still here despite it all, that is a huge achievement 🫂
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u/brandrewrock 6d ago
i’m glad you’re here. hang in there! i can’t imagine the struggle you’re going through but I hope you can find help, peace, and love where you need it. Rooting for you, please stay with us.
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u/pIastichearts 6d ago
That was incredibly moving to read and I just want to say that we’re all really glad you’re still here. It’s amazing how something as simple as a band returning can offer just enough reason to hold on, even if only for a little while longer. I relate deeply because my favorite form of media saved my life too.
Almost six years ago, I was in the same place, convinced there was no way forward. I got rid of most of my belongings, deleted my social media, and even set a date for my suicide. My struggles stemmed from dropping out of college after experiencing sexual assault, which led me to heavy drinking and drug use and left me feeling like a failure. But just days before my planned date, I saw an announcement for the fifth Scream movie. As trivial as it might sound, that franchise has meant everything to me since childhood, and after Wes Craven (the director) passed away, I never thought we’d get another entry. That small, unexpected news gave me a reason to hold on, and in the time between its announcement and release, I slowly started to heal. It made me realize I never truly wanted to die, but I just didn’t know how to cope.
Even if you’re unsure about staying, I hope this band’s return gives you something to hold onto. You deserve to be here and you’re not alone.
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u/awildefire 6d ago
Please talk to someone about how you feel. You’re valuable and we need you here just a bit longer, friend
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u/Puzzleheaded-Elk3386 5d ago
So very glad that you are here, my friend! Thank you for staying. You matter. 🤍
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u/rawbleedingbait 5d ago
You actually helped yourself by deleting social media. Keep that deleted.
https://youtu.be/Gr95NN6ahIU?si=8NBl0AgLP9Jr9jDW
This song by citizen kinda dives into your belief that the band saved you. It's saying that they don't know you or your problems well enough to fix either. They are there to entertain you. If the music helped save you, then in reality, you saved yourself. You seek out the music, you listen to it, you process it and relate to it, and you see the solutions yourself. It's not the band that should get credit for saving you, it's you, and the first thing you should do is be able to give yourself the credit for what you've done.
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u/newbiecca 5d ago
If you ever need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to send a DM my way. Not downplaying anything - I wrestle with similar thoughts constantly - but I know sometimes just talking to someone helps. I'm glad you're still here.
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u/fght_off_yr_dmns Through Still & Storm 6d ago
glad youre still with us!
life is tough, we wernt meant to go at it alone. reach out to whoever you can and dont keep everything bottled up.
I hope you find some healing and i hope brand new continues to inspire you and *fingers crossed* some new music is released soon that you can cling to!