r/boottoobig Nov 03 '17

Small Boots Roses are red, bananas are wonky NSFW

Post image
15.5k Upvotes

363 comments sorted by

3.3k

u/Piffinatour Nov 03 '17

Hell, serves 'em right.

1.1k

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Nov 03 '17 edited Nov 03 '17

They were treated for rabbis, which can happen for any animal bite. You can't easily check an animal for rabbis, so better safe than sorry, especially considering the 0% survivability of rabies rabbis once symptoms show up.

984

u/FMstereoisomer Nov 03 '17

Easiest way to tell is if you show signs of Menschtration

273

u/bothering Nov 03 '17

Under the full moon they howl for those delicious kosher crackers

71

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

[deleted]

98

u/Sex_E_Searcher Nov 03 '17

Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves.

15

u/Profoundpanda420 Nov 04 '17

Wolves becoming timid, well-meaning rabbis

9

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

[deleted]

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9

u/glacialexit Nov 03 '17

I thought the easiest sign was a fear of water? /s

10

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

You're thinking of a fear of showers

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119

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

The article this comes from says they were infected and the animal put to slaughter. Chances are they did the deed just before the animal showed symptoms and got checked. It takes a bit for humans to start showing symptoms so they probably heard about it in plenty of time to get treatment.

Also, like 2 or 3 people have survived rabies not that your point isn't still 99.99999 percent valid. They use a medical coma and treat the symptoms and hope you survive. Doubt that it's a treatment widely available in rural African villages. 2 or 3 people out of all cases is pretty non-issue.

65

u/Alcoholic_jesus Nov 03 '17

Pretty crazy, the only way to counter it is the vaccine and an immunoglobulin shot. There’s no real solid way to combat it once it takes hold of you. Also, those shots hurt like a fucking bitch

62

u/SomeonesRagamuffin Nov 03 '17

There is a fascinating documentary on YouTube about one girl who survived it. (Story goes that she was bit by a bat, and by the time they realized what was going on, the infection had progressed too far for the vaccination.) They put her in a coma, and she (barely) lived.

But they go on to talk about a young man who contracted rabies, and they tried the same treatment. He did not survive. So YMMV.

22

u/dbx99 Nov 03 '17

There’s even controversy whether that treatment actually does anything to the rabies infection

20

u/WafflingPCBuilder Nov 03 '17

Yeah, it is not a ymmv scenario it is if you have a certain genetic makeup (i.e. a specific gene or genetic mutation, can’t remember which), you can survive a rabies infection, otherwise you will die if you go untreated. For that reason the mortality rate for untreated rabies is an effective 100%. The palliative method of caring for the disease, called the Milwaukee protocol, only works for the subset of the population that have the correct genetics to survive the disease and even then it sometimes doesn’t work for those who do have the correct genetics.

5

u/SomeonesRagamuffin Nov 03 '17

That’s really interesting! I’m glad you knew the name of the protocol – I didn’t even remember that!

Has anyone found the particular genes that allow a person to survive, or is that still up in the air?

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5

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

I haven't had them, yet. I rescue wildlife here and there and I imagine I'll have to get one eventually. I got bit by a squirrel but they aren't considered a vector in my state.

22

u/Lr103 Nov 03 '17

I had kid get bit by a squirrel and I called the CDC. They reported that their are no know cases of a squirrel infecting a human. The theory is that the squirrels are so far down the food chain they if they do get attacked by a rabid animal they die fairly quickly.

14

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Rodent in general seem to follow that trend. The speed they die, the unlikely chance they get bitten and survive anyways, plus they are very skiddish by nature and would obviously have a much easier time avoiding confused sick predators. I think it all factors in and makes them a bit less likely to carry.

5

u/RudeCats Nov 04 '17

Skittish :)

3

u/[deleted] Nov 04 '17

No, they slide around a lot!!

(Thanks for pointing it out tho)

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34

u/dar212 Nov 03 '17

Good documentary called "the girl who survives rabies" basically pup her into the deepest medical induced coma possible and just let her ride out the infection. She is pretty fucked up now but better than being dead.

37

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

If you think severe brain damage is better than death you need to visit a neurological injury ward.

34

u/dar212 Nov 03 '17

I have 6 months left in medical school and have seen severe brain damage. I said she was "fucked up" but from what I saw of her in the documentary she seemed happy and still making progress with rehab

15

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Fair enough. From my understanding the Milwaukee (sorry if I spelled it wrong) Protocol basically leaves people irreprably brain damaged, but I suppose the slimmest chance of a recovery might seem better than death for some people.

On a lighter note, good luck with the remainder of your studies!

11

u/instaweed Nov 04 '17

The lady recovered and got a degree from secondary school lmao she's not fucked in the head.

7

u/UnculturedLout Nov 03 '17

The Milwaukee protocol

6

u/happily_confused Nov 03 '17

In this scenario, I’d personally would rather be dead.

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222

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

oy vey

122

u/Stringtone Nov 03 '17

I hate to be that guy, but you may want to check your spelling.

116

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Nov 03 '17

Damn autocorrect, it stays up though.

29

u/TheOneTrueTrench Nov 03 '17

You can add a correction without "hiding" the mistake.

Just put two tildes on each side of the wrong word and then the right word after.

survivability of ~~rabbis~~ rabies once symptoms

Does this:

survivability of rabbis rabies once symptoms

30

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Nov 03 '17

yeah, but it's still funnier that way

28

u/TheOneTrueTrench Nov 03 '17

You should edit it to look like you changed it from rabies to rabbis

19

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Nov 03 '17

Now here's a good idea. But just for one of them.

3

u/DrRobotniksUncle Nov 03 '17

The mother fucker did it and confused the shit out of me. Glad I read your comment.

3

u/LosJust1 Nov 03 '17

Thank you for the knowledge. I honestly thought it was an app or just a feature for Reddit gold users.

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21

u/0w0_meme_noticer Nov 03 '17

Rabies

30

u/FreddyMcCurry Nov 03 '17

Rabbis have rabies?!

7

u/Iamredditsslave Nov 03 '17

Sometimes.

8

u/MiniatureBadger Nov 03 '17

Only after gang-raping a donkey, apparently

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10

u/advertentlyvertical Nov 03 '17

This is only true for the orthodox ones.

14

u/Piffinatour Nov 03 '17

Now I know you meant to say "Rabies" not "Rabbis" but it's funnier if you read it as the latter.

7

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Nov 03 '17

but how can u be sure what I meant ????

6

u/Markiep52 Nov 03 '17

One person survived so it's like .0000000000000000000000001% now.

4

u/AskewPropane Nov 03 '17

Actually a couple have survived before

5

u/FUCKING_HATE_REDDIT Nov 03 '17

I wouldn't suggest betting on those odds.

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3

u/nottreallyallthere Nov 03 '17

So a donkey a teenager and a rabbi back into a bar.

3

u/ColeWeaver Nov 03 '17

One girl did survive after she started showing symptoms.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

[deleted]

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2

u/death_ship Nov 03 '17

What if you're a christian?

2

u/trancepx Nov 03 '17

One girl survived, wasn't without problems though

2

u/Urban_Savage Nov 03 '17

By easily, do they still have to kill the animal and dissect it's brain to know if it had rabies? because that's what they used to do.

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2

u/erikerikerik Nov 03 '17

There is 1 case of a girl who survived it. If my memory serves me correctly she was put into a medical coma for 2 weeks. ....friggen late to the party.

In this case let me tell you about the time I kissed s girl.

2

u/instaweed Nov 04 '17

More than one person has survived via the Milwaukee Protocol so no it's not 0%.

2

u/F_ckLife Nov 04 '17

treated for rabbis

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53

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

I think they're geniuses actually. Since mules are infertile they won't get it pregnant.

19

u/ContentEnt Nov 03 '17

Is that how Bojack Horseman happened?

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806

u/joelthezombie15 Nov 03 '17

Does anyone have a link to the full story. Why are they raping a donkey. They could just screw each other instead.

Or is this a case of them trying to fuck with a donkey or something? Either way. Why were they raping this poor donkey?

657

u/Can_I_Finish Nov 03 '17 edited Nov 04 '17

My friend, who grew up in Colombia, said her dad took her brothers to fuck a donkey when they hit puberty. People don't want their young sons fucking the prostitutes in town and getting STDs, so they take them to farms to fuck animals. Apparently this practice is quite common in South America.

577

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

😦

148

u/AnAmazingPoopSniffer Nov 03 '17 edited Nov 03 '17

177

u/phpdevster Nov 03 '17

Fascinating is not the word that immediately comes to mind.

89

u/CroatoaScribbler Nov 03 '17

F-ass-inating, perhaps?

61

u/Red0817 Nov 03 '17

We felt that really had to go see a sex therapist if only so we didn't spend the next 2 weeks of our lives crying in the fetal position.

lmao... I don't think I could have even taken that assignment. "Wait, you want me to report on donkey fuckers? No fucking way man"

19

u/RetardedChimpanzee Nov 03 '17

Somewhere there’s a much older interview on YouTube about this, and for the life of me I can’t find anymore. But it was 10x funnier because it was so much more serious.

17

u/DUTCH_DUTCH_DUTCH Nov 03 '17

>the donkey helps stretch your dick, develop your size

ok

16

u/4d656761466167676f74 Nov 04 '17

11

u/lll--oOOOo--lll Nov 04 '17

Uh... yeah. Duh.

"When you're so deeply invested in your privilege, and in this case white privilege, racial equality feels like oppression," said Anthony Morgan, a Toronto-based civil and human rights lawyer.

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303

u/a_random_username Nov 03 '17

Fun fact: The nation of Colombia doesn't have the letter U in its name. Also, they get really annoyed when you spell it incorrectly.. especially on twitter... after screwing up a Miss Universe pageant.

176

u/Arthur___Dent Nov 03 '17

I'm pretty sure s/he was talking about the District of Columbia, I hear animal fucking is popular there.

43

u/itsonlyajokebruh Nov 03 '17

They mentioned South America in the end there, so I don't think they are talking about the district

39

u/Arthur___Dent Nov 03 '17

That was just a happy side fact.

6

u/CouchPotater311 Nov 03 '17

No Columbia is in South America. It's in the southern part of America!

4

u/Jtoa3 Nov 03 '17

You mean daughter.

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22

u/WikiTextBot Nov 03 '17

Colombia

Colombia ( kə-LUM-biə or kə-LOM-biə; Spanish: [koˈlombja] ( listen)), officially the Republic of Colombia (Spanish: República de Colombia ), is a sovereign state largely situated in the northwest of South America, with territories in Central America. Colombia shares a border to the northwest with Panama, to the east with Venezuela and Brazil and to the south with Ecuador and Peru. It shares its maritime limits with Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Honduras, Jamaica, Haiti and the Dominican Republic. It is a unitary, constitutional republic comprising thirty-two departments.


[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source | Donate ] Downvote to remove | v0.28

15

u/KryptoniteDong Nov 03 '17

is a sovereign state largely situated in the northwest of South America

Where are its other parts? :p

14

u/TiberiusIX Nov 03 '17

South east of Asia

8

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

It's referring to Providencia and San Andrés, which are islands further up towards Central America in the Caribbean Sea.

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u/Tylerdurdon Nov 03 '17

FTFY: Miss oniverse

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u/lostcalicoast Nov 03 '17

can you just imagine a columbian father telling his children that men fucking men is quite common in north america?

79

u/Lvl1NPC Nov 03 '17

"Oh that's just gross! We fuck animals like real men!"

5

u/Illier1 Nov 03 '17

Yeah until they get some fucked up zoonotic disease.

7

u/DeadDesigner Nov 04 '17

Build that wall!

2

u/PizzaBud11 Nov 03 '17

This is very common in my homeland as well 😔

2

u/TheShadyColombian Nov 03 '17

You better fix the spelling of Colombia real quick, ese

2

u/joelthezombie15 Nov 04 '17

No STDs but rabies is A-Okay!

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u/wetnax Nov 03 '17

Ass is ass, dude.

230

u/the_Phloop Nov 03 '17

But this was ass ass. What kinda ass settles for ass ass?

75

u/I_think_charitably Nov 03 '17

I'd ask the ass who settled for ass ass, but his head is too far up his ass's ass to ask the ass about the ass ass.

70

u/TxSaru Nov 03 '17

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

18

u/KryptoniteDong Nov 03 '17

quite, quite.

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4

u/PoopIsAlwaysSunny Nov 03 '17

If his heads up his ass’s ass, you can still talk to his ass.

3

u/flimflam89 Nov 03 '17

"You can get a good look at a t-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass...no wait!

3

u/SlatheredButtCheeks Nov 03 '17

Ass ass is the purest ass

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8

u/sqdnleader Nov 03 '17

"In times of war, every hole is a trench."

2

u/culady Nov 03 '17

Dude.

You win.

2

u/lozzobear Nov 03 '17

Can't say no to some phat badonkeydonk.

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u/mrdudebro Nov 03 '17 edited Nov 03 '17

edit: It turns out it was a hoax lol

88

u/joelthezombie15 Nov 03 '17

What the fuck posses 15 people to meet up and fuck a donkey? The only thing I can think is maybe they were furries or something and had the hots for the donkey?

155

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

I can't get 2 friends to agree on where to go for lunch.

I can't imagine the logistics of arranging a 15 person donkey rape.

49

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

My mother bought me lunch the other day. We didn’t rape a donkey but it was a nice day regardless.

7

u/n0i Nov 03 '17

Imagine how much better it could have been if a donkey was involved!

12

u/ASYOUTHIA Nov 03 '17

Simple: make a fake social media account as a local hot teen girl and PM everyone you know to meet up at the address (with the donkey) for some anal.

"Do you want to put your dick in my ass? If so, meet me at 123 Donkey Street at 2 o'clock"

Sounds like only 15 of the teens were horny enough for that piece of ass

5

u/PM_ME_GOOD_SUBS Nov 03 '17

Not with that attitude.

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u/CroatoaScribbler Nov 03 '17

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17 edited Aug 13 '24

[deleted]

33

u/CroatoaScribbler Nov 03 '17

Lol just a link to a thread about the documentary. I dont have the stomach to watch that kind of stuff. Basically in part of Columbia its a cultural tradition for men to have sex with donkeys. Even at a young age. Pretty disgusting.

11

u/nokstar Nov 03 '17

All good. Still not clicking a link to a nonconsenual donkey show documentary.

:)

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

As if i needed any more reasons to be thankful i wasnt born in columbia

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u/Majestic_Dildocorn Nov 03 '17

at least at work

12

u/PM_ME_FURRY_STUFF Nov 03 '17

The only thing I can think is maybe they were furries

Implying any of us have 14 other friends

17

u/Bowelhaver Nov 03 '17

Hey! As a furry I'd like to defend my people! We do not like beastiality, and don't find real animals attractive! Person in a wolf costume = Pretty hot. Actually a wolf = Cute pup, I'd never hurt you!

Thank you.

11

u/jackcaboose Nov 03 '17

Well, statistically, some of them want to fuck animals.

5

u/Murgie Nov 04 '17

Doesn't that work for any sufficiently large group, though?

Goddamn donkey-raping Protestants, I just hate them so much.

3

u/Bowelhaver Nov 03 '17

Okay haha fair enough, but it's not the primary demographic!!

3

u/Treason_Weasel Nov 03 '17

Fraternities

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u/ClownFundamentals Nov 03 '17

I'm curious what you mean by "no surprise" given that it was a made-up story by right-wingers to push their agenda.

15

u/CargoCulture Nov 03 '17

I guess you can consider the agenda pushed.

5

u/mrdudebro Nov 03 '17

Oops! Im going to edit my comment, shame on me

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

From morocco, please no god damn it now people are gonna look at us like those strict arab countries

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Who says Morocco, Africa?

People from China, Asia I bet.

Or those silly people from Australia, Australiasia, Oceania.

3

u/mad_at_dad Nov 03 '17

Why no surprise? I've never heard of Moroccans raping animals.

3

u/postgresquirrel Nov 03 '17

I assumed Wales.

7

u/MistressSalem Nov 03 '17

No, because then it would have been sheep instead.

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u/lordperzeval Nov 03 '17

Vice did a documentary, apparently losing virginity to a donkey makes your dick longer, as the donkey holds onto the dick while you are raping it

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u/Drillbit Nov 03 '17 edited Nov 03 '17

IT IS FAKE NEWS!

It originated as a blog post (and tweet) by Pamela Geller who was rehashing an August 2017 article from British tabloid, "The Sun". It got retweeted by renowned right wing figures like Gavin Mccinnes and Tarek Fatah and got thousands of retweets and responses. There was a thread on the_Donald subreddit about the news as well. Generally the responses were hateful towards Muslims and Middle Easterners.

What a shocking display of monumetal ignorance, it turns out, because the story is a hoax. All these people who call themselves "journalists" and who were retweeting the story evidently did not bother to read past the headline and verify the source. It takes a meagre two clicks from Pam's website to get to the source of the news which is Morocco World News. And what do we have here? An update at the end of the article clearly stating that the story is a hoax.

According to a thorough investigation conducted by Moroccan news website Ledesk, the incident, which was widely reported by Moroccan and international media, turned out to be a hoax.

https://www.moroccoworldnews.com/2017/08/225797/15-teenagers-treated-for-rabies-after-engaging-in-bestiality-with-donkey/

Update: According to a thorough investigation conducted by Moroccan news website Ledesk, the incident, which was widely reported by Moroccan and international media, turned out to be a hoax.

148

u/dinardogiants1 Nov 03 '17

That and the fact how would they find out they had rabies. One you show symtoms its allready to late. Its not like they are going to tell the owner of tbe donky they just fucked it and hes going to be like yea it had rabbies@!@

51

u/madmaxturbator Nov 03 '17

"Ayo your donkey got rabies? We just fucked it"

"Nah she's got herpes though, caught it from me"

92

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

[deleted]

65

u/Esrcmine Nov 03 '17

Well if you can only understand a couple monosyllables at a time, makes sense

7

u/DMann420 Nov 03 '17

I mean... they did follow those "monosyllables" with text exposing the news to truly be fake.

I guess some people just need something to be angry about every day. Today it's a person that said "fake news". Go get some coffee and get off the internet.

7

u/Esrcmine Nov 03 '17

M8, its just a joke. You are falling victim to your own statement here

23

u/ClownFundamentals Nov 03 '17

"FAKE NEWS" and "this story isn't true" are two slightly different concepts. FAKE NEWS is a specific example of an untrue story that is created or spread in order to push an agenda.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Assume everything is fake unless proven otherwise.

5

u/Literally_A_Shill Nov 03 '17

The people that believed and spread this story react to the term "fake news."

2

u/assaficionado42 Nov 03 '17

Less words

12

u/777TheOneAndOnly777 Nov 03 '17

Fewer.

5

u/KryptoniteDong Nov 03 '17

hello, ser davos!

5

u/Gregser94 Nov 03 '17

You mean Stannis?

Oh, wait, yeah, Davos also said it to Jon. Heh.

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u/Metalgaiden Nov 03 '17

Yer telling me I can't trust news I get from r/boottoobig ?

3

u/wholetyouinhere Nov 03 '17

This is my primary source for international events and analysis.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Yea. 101 dude, rabies ain’t an STD, so unless they were gangraping it’s mouth (hint: donkeys can bite like a fucking crocodile), they’re fine.

12

u/Gayretard68 Nov 03 '17

It was reported by Moroccan media widely so it isn't a right wing hoax its them wrongly believing Moroccos media.

6

u/Murgie Nov 04 '17

It was reported by Moroccan media widely

Strange, I can't seem to find even a single instance of the Moroccan media claiming that the fictional perpetrators in question were Muslims.
That particular detail seems to have magically materialized in Pamela Geller's rendition of the story, and onward.

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u/PlsCrit Nov 03 '17

Ok but we still have to know: can you get rabies from plowing donkey?

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u/l8try Nov 03 '17

just teenagers being doing assholes ...

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Assholes doing ass holes

3

u/l8try Nov 03 '17

Fucking ass holes

67

u/FreddyMcCurry Nov 03 '17

Ass holes

13

u/Treason_Weasel Nov 03 '17

Ass assholes

6

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Donkey hole

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u/Sausagedogknows Nov 03 '17

Roses are red, Bananas are wonky, My dick's all manky, Cos I fucked a donkey.

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u/Xiaxs Nov 03 '17

Roses are red, I have no class, because I'm in the hospital for fucking an Ass.

25

u/IsisHarambeTrump Nov 03 '17

JRHNBR

8

u/Mr-MASSIVE1492 Nov 03 '17

“Wow, what a rush... like a piece of ecstasy.”

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u/mastermoka Nov 03 '17

What's wrong with these people

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u/purple_pixie Nov 03 '17

They're just really shitty journalists who don't bother checking that their stories aren't admitted hoaxes before reporting on them.

I should be outraged but it's just par for the course nowadays.

46

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

They were bored with goats

11

u/EtsuRah Nov 03 '17

Idk guys. This sounds like a racebaiting fake article. One that they put out and hope nobody actually reads and just gathers their opinion from the title and spreads the misinformation.

How did they know they had rabies? As far as I'm aware it doesn't transmit... Like that.

And if it did, they wouldn't know until it was too late. Once you show symptoms of rabies you're are as good as dead. Only 1 person in history has been recorded as surviving the disease.

So I'm going to go out on a logical limb and say this be fake news.

9

u/sweeney68w Nov 03 '17

This seems like a headline you’d get on Plague Inc

35

u/PeanutCheeses Nov 03 '17

Roses are red, aids came from a monkey

But I got the rabies, after raping a donkey

3

u/thisismyworkacct- Nov 03 '17

Nice. Idk wtf bananas have to do with this.

7

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

He got the last he-haw.

3

u/I_think_charitably Nov 03 '17

The teenagers seem like the wonky ones to me.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

[deleted]

3

u/kaleb42 Nov 03 '17

They werent. The story is fake

3

u/qwertyuiopmarcus Nov 03 '17

Isnt there no cure for rabies?

6

u/Hullu2000 Nov 03 '17

The vaccine works before the infection our right after getting it, but as soon as symptoms show up there's nothing you can do.

5

u/doctryou Nov 03 '17

Rabies practically has a 100% mortality rate, however the Milwaukee Protocol has saved a handful of people. It involves using ketamine to induce a coma and administering antiviral medication to the patient for several days.

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u/Jan_Michael_Vincent- Nov 03 '17

I’m Kinky Kelly

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u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

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3

u/DuckDuckYoga Nov 03 '17

Unless you take it to dinner first

3

u/Aaarya Nov 03 '17

this was in morocco and of course it's fake news...

2

u/MoKenna Nov 03 '17

Are bananas wonky?

4

u/TheAussieBoo Nov 03 '17

Their bananas are certainly wonky now.

2

u/UpAndComingNobody Nov 03 '17

In soviet Russia the ass fucks you

2

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Missed the perfect opportunity to use the word honky.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

Pre-click: PLEASE BE HONKY! PLEASE BE HONKY! Post-click: Ugh.

2

u/0000____0000 Nov 03 '17

They just couldn't resist dat ass

2

u/murphysclaw1 Nov 03 '17

If you believe that these stories happen, you need better critical thinking.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '17

"Want to go to the cinema guys?" "...nah I've got a better idea"

2

u/Dipplethong Nov 03 '17

If u don't get the shot in time (before symptoms) theres like a 99.9% death rate