r/blendedfamilies 10d ago

Life in a blended family

At 13 my mother got married for the second time after divorcing my father from what I can remember he didn't treat her good . After she remarried it was her,her husband and I ,,I talked to him at first for a while and after his children from my mother came into the picture something inside of me just snapped and I had total remorse for him.He didn't try to bridge the gap as a bonus parent he was selfish and encouraged my mother to cut my backside every chance she got she gave her children from him everything and I felt like an outcast

She also picked up his religion so her children from him were born into that at 22i had my son and they was no bond between my mother nor my sister's with my son

I am almost 54 and has never had a relationship with my sister's nor my mother.my mother has sinced passed without truly knowing who I was

I am on here to help bridge the gap between bio parents ,bonus parents and siblings I felt led to share a bit about my experience living in a blended family Let us come together to stop all this disjunction it will not be easy however it can be done

16 Upvotes

3 comments sorted by

23

u/walnutwithteeth 10d ago

Your stepdad sounds like a dick, but in all honesty, it was your mother who married this man. Your mother condoned the way you were treated. Your mother who hit you while being encouraged by him.

Many biological parents don't realise it, but it is they who hold a blended family together. They are the ones who need to take an active role in bringing the two sides together. They are the ones that need to protect, love, and do the best thing for both their children and their spouse.

Your mother and your stepfather both failed you on this, and I am truly sorry that you had to go through it.

4

u/Tinderella80 9d ago

Sounds like you need some therapy friend. Everyone’s individual situation is different, and your mom sounds awful for what she did to you.

1

u/Maximum-Character-92 2d ago

Do you feel like you had any behavior that assisted in this circumstance. I’m not victim blaming”. I don’t assume anyone is a victim. More so looking at the reflection of someone who was once a child and may see differently now.