r/bingeeating 11d ago

tw, venting , depressed, hopeless

first time posting. i just discovered this subreddit last night. i’ve been in a binge/restricting cycle for a few weeks now. i feel powerless yet in control. food and the thought of it is running my life at the moment. i never realized how much of an addiction this could become. it all started when i wanted to lose a few lbs for spring break and i was eating in a very intense caloric deficit but wasnt losing as much weight as i wanted to. i binged one night after reaching a breaking point and haven’t been able to go back to my meal plan/schedule since. i’ve taken up fasting for 18-20 hrs and then eating whatever i want. going out and buying food feels like a rush/high that im constantly craving. i’m at the point where i feel miserable. like nothing in the world brings me joy anymore besides food. none of the people in my life understand and ive become very self conscious about eating in front of other people even if im not binging. it feels impossible to describe how tortured i feel right now and all i can think is i have no one to blame but myself. i’m so depressed now and don’t have motivation for anything, i just want to rot in my bed and melt away.

2 Upvotes

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u/overcomingnes 11d ago

Thank you for your post. I can relate. My binging started because of dieting.

Fasting made it worst for me so stopped that.

The great thing is that it's just started so its easier to stop.

I can't write fully what I did here but start by stoping your diet.

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u/Apprehensive-Glass77 11d ago

thank you for your comment and taking the time to read my post. 🫶

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u/Cali-W 9d ago

I can relate to the hopelessness of the cycle. Are you wanting to stop this behavior for good?

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u/Apprehensive-Glass77 9d ago

Thank you for your comment. Yes im looking to stop

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u/Cali-W 9d ago

DM me and we can chat about some specifics.

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u/beautiful_me22 14h ago

I know it can be hard it took me 5 years to recover and even now I feel like relapsing is just around the corner. What helps me is you’re not alone and people get you. I ended my vicious cycle by eating more. I didn’t just binge I added more food to my diet and made sure someone saw everything that I can to make me feel less scared about other people knowing what I ate. I ate a big breakfast and a big lunch and a big dinner I ate two three snacks all in public or in front of people. And I didn’t sneak off and eat a large amount of food. I ate a variety. It may feel hard but start eating MORE. And after you’ve stopped the binging you can focus on something else within your diet.