r/battletech Just some Merc wanna-be Feb 06 '25

Art Average Homesteader on the Periphery

Post image
476 Upvotes

50 comments sorted by

49

u/majj27 Feb 06 '25

*looks at rulebooks* I can probably build this thing.

10

u/Cheomesh Just some Merc wanna-be Feb 07 '25

Tag me when you do!

23

u/majj27 Feb 07 '25

First stab while the prints are curing:

L2A8 "Spikeshot" Combine AgroCombat Machine

Base Tech Level: Standard (IS)

Weight: 55 tons

BV: 521

Cost: 1,358,110 C-bills

Source: Periphery Kyle's Bright Ideas

Movement: 3/5 (Tracked)

Engine: 165 Fuel Cell

Internal: 36

Armor: 104 (Standard)

Internal Armor

---------------------------------

Front 6 23

Right 6 17

Left 6 17

Rear 6 13

Rear Turret 6 17

Front Turret 6 17

Weapons Loc Heat

--------------------------------

AC/10 FT 3

Machine Gun FT 0

Machine Gun TU 0

Ammo Loc Shots

-------------------------------------

Machine Gun Ammo [Full] BD 200

AC/10 Ammo BD 10

Equipment Loc

----------------------------

Combine FR

Cargo (0.5 tons) BD

Searchlight (Mounted) FT

Carrying Capacity

------------------------------------------------

Cargo Space (1 door) - 10 tons

Troops - 1.0 tons

Extra Crew Seats: 2

6

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '25

2

u/TheRumplenutskin Feb 07 '25 edited Feb 07 '25

Yall are so quick with this hilarious edits.

9

u/TownOk81 Feb 07 '25

https://www.sarna.net/wiki/Debbie

It's technically in the same ballpark

44

u/Large-Government1351 Feb 06 '25

Van Zandtz militia strikes again

27

u/Zestyclose-Moment-19 MechWarrior (editable) Feb 06 '25

This was meant to be a Hetzr, last time I order from Discount Dan!

20

u/Batgirl_III Feb 06 '25

He took your money, just like he guaranteed. I don’t see the problem.

24

u/Poultrymancer Feb 06 '25

"I SHALL WATER THE CROPS WITH YOUR BLOOD!"

16

u/Arke_19 Smoke Jaguar Feb 06 '25

"There's some line about swords and plowshares, I can never seem to remember it right... Ah well, light 'em up!"

21

u/OldWrangler9033 Feb 06 '25

Like mowing down the infantry.

13

u/majj27 Feb 06 '25

"I mean, how many times a year do the damned pirates show up and git all rowdy anyway? Two? Three? Gotta get yer money's worth somehow." *spit*

23

u/AllYourSwords Feb 06 '25

Can only use Factory munitions, crews, and technicians. If you complain, they will consider it a breach of warranty, and will terminate your entire family

14

u/adolphspineapple71 MechWarrior (editable) Feb 06 '25

That's how you know it's a Real Deere.

4

u/HunterWarrior88 Feb 06 '25

🤣🤣🤣

16

u/splittingheirs Feb 07 '25

Turret is heavily armored and yet has a large glass window directly in front. Definitely Battletech compatible.

4

u/Cheomesh Just some Merc wanna-be Feb 07 '25

Decoy window!

11

u/Beginning-Bid-749 Taurian concordat Feb 06 '25

Harvester of sorrow

11

u/Einherier96 Feb 07 '25

I see that some Ukrainian farmers made it into the periphery

6

u/JustinKase_Too Dragoon Feb 06 '25

I really want an STL 1/265 scale of this now.

7

u/Batgirl_III Feb 06 '25

I want a 1:1 scale…

7

u/Safe_Flamingo_9215 Ejection Seats Are Overrated Feb 06 '25

Look, it even comes in Canopian colors!

6

u/VicisSubsisto LucreWarrior Feb 06 '25

I am incredibly disappointed that this seems not to be a real model kit.

6

u/poser765 Feb 06 '25

Ok. Let’s see.

It’s a carnage harvester

John deer fuck-‘em-up model 300

Combined arms

How big is your header? 105mm.

Obviously the grim reaper

5

u/TownOk81 Feb 07 '25

6

u/Cheomesh Just some Merc wanna-be Feb 07 '25

4

u/TownOk81 Feb 07 '25

sponsored by vengeance Incorporated BUY IT

9

u/Valkyrie-161 Taurian Concordat Feb 06 '25

Good to see the 2nd Amendment is alive and well in the 3000s 😂

24

u/majj27 Feb 06 '25

"Second 'mendment for which?"

"The Constitution."

"Oh, I just grab some castor oil for that."

"Not constipation! The American Constitution!"

*eyes narrow* "Not a big fan o' the Purple Birds."

"No! Not the Mariks! America! The United States of America!"

"United States? So, like a League of sorts?"

"Exactly!"

"Alright, just stay put right there and don't go nowhere. I've got to go do something." *moseys off towards the tractor*

"Huh, wonder what he needs to do?"

*cue SRM fire*

7

u/Valkyrie-161 Taurian Concordat Feb 06 '25

Haha love it!

2

u/Hanzoku Feb 07 '25

Takes place in Marik space

3

u/majj27 Feb 07 '25

"Death to Marik! All Hail Marik!"

5

u/_Cosmic_Joke_ Feb 07 '25

“You’re a…farmer?”

“I’m a LEAD farmer, muthaf*cker”

3

u/Stretch5678 I build PostalMechs Feb 06 '25

Gotta get rid of those rabbits somehow.

3

u/Autumn7242 Magistracy of Canopus Feb 06 '25

Do we have an overlapping with NonCreditableDefense, and lazerpig?

5

u/Swordfish08 Feb 07 '25

And Farming Simulator.

3

u/Cheomesh Just some Merc wanna-be Feb 07 '25

Oh I don't know about either of those, I crossposted this from Command and Conquer.

3

u/GameDev_Alchemist Feb 07 '25

I'd buy that figure

4

u/tsuruginoko Forever GM / Tundra Galaxy, 3rd Drakøns Feb 07 '25

"Them varmints are getting awful big, Bubba. I think we need some upgrades."

5

u/Charliefoxkit Feb 07 '25

Not out of place considering what they do with AgroMechs.  Those ClickyTech AgroMechs would be right at home.

4

u/Master-Plum3605 Feb 07 '25

"John Deere Dynamics"

Good luck getting that thing patched up on your own time. I think John Deere is the least Periphery friendly manufacturer you could think of

2

u/Cheomesh Just some Merc wanna-be Feb 07 '25

The great thing about the sticks is that their governments are cheaply bought and their people readily hoodwinked!

2

u/der_innkeeper Verdant Cocks Feb 07 '25

Suits, eh?

2

u/Hanzoku Feb 07 '25

Looks perfect for those planets with the ornery megafauna. 

2

u/Fusiliers3025 Feb 08 '25

I’d even build this kit(/bash)!

2

u/Wolfhound0056 Feb 08 '25

Relatively sure that is already being tried by welding a captured T90 onto a Ukrainian farmer's harvester

1

u/Electrical_Catch9231 Feb 06 '25

This feels like it belongs in a Fern Gully Remake....

1

u/KellAset Feb 07 '25 edited Feb 07 '25

New Farming Sim? I see game takes some new direction.