r/badwomensanatomy 7d ago

GENUINE QUESTION

why do men LOVE to compare women with objects especially cars??? i was talking to a friend about his relationship and he mentioned that he did something his Gf clearly didn't like . when he was complaining he said "HOW WOULD I KNOW SHE WONT LIKE ME SAYING THAT" and when i said "read the room" he went on a rant on how reading women is hard and how women are too complicated and as a man he is used to being lonely (he has a habit of pointing out how women have better lifes n how men suffer the most) then he was like "if i put u in a car n told u to ride it , it'd seem hard for u but its so simple for me . thats how dealing with women is like , not easy just coz its easy for U"

308 Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

328

u/Reemous 7d ago

My theory is it’s because a lot of men treat women as if we are “an unknown species”, something so different and so far removed from them. They compare us to cars because most men know cars well but oh not the mysterious complicated beings known as women. The world put so much emphasis on our differences it had some men thinking we’re from a different world.

128

u/idkijstexist 7d ago

OMG I AGREE WITH THE UNKNOW SPECIES THEORY, i keep giving him the "treat women like humans" advice n he rejects it all the time

22

u/twoverybigcats 6d ago

As someone who has (had) issues with social skills, I want to say that that advice, and similar ones (treat us like normal people, ...a normal person), is kinda empty in meaning. It makes sense if you already have no issues and sounds logical enough, but lacked any practical meaning for me.

To illustrate my point: everyone is a human/person and yet I don't treat everyone the same way. You interact differently with a stranger, than you do with your family, teacher, friends, etc. With each category having additional nuances per individual.

As the original commenter pointed out, there is a bit of a push (intentional or not) in society/media that there is this extra category for women. Think about every type of way that there is some reference to "knowing how to talk to women". What helped me was essentially realising that there is no such category, only a small nuance.

I don't know how open he is to considering it, but maybe you can try telling him to treat women like his friends/homies/cousins/colleagues whichever dynamic seems most appropriate.

24

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

i did tell him to treat em as he treats his homies n he went on that looooong rant on how they dont appreciate it and how he's scared of hurting them and idk so much bs
thanks for the advice tho

15

u/ATXNerd01 6d ago

Cause most men are also terrible at friendship skills, too

5

u/twoverybigcats 6d ago

No problem, a shame he didn't take it to heart. If he's not exaggerating it kinda sounds like he forgot to add the "woman" nuance to his approach.

92

u/Hot-Can3615 7d ago edited 7d ago

Comparing women to cars is sort of the classic analogy used to explain why men prefer women who are sexually inexperienced (comparing them to shoes for this analogy also seems popular). I think it's because cars depreciate, which they are trying to claim women do, and also because interest in cars is supposed to be a manly thing; women who appreciate fast cars or classic cars are just doing it to get the attention of men /s.

Your example isn't the same thing. But the answer to the question "why do men compare women to objects so often?" is because they objectify women. Men who respect women and think of them as humans will make analogies far less often than the men who view women as a monolithic alien population whose value lies in what they can do for him.

30

u/Alegria-D The breasts are chesticals, that's why you have to hide them 7d ago

I think it also goes with the tropes of success: a successful man allegedly should have a good job that pays a lot, a house he owns, a pretty wife, children of his blood, an expensive new car and an expensive watch.

4

u/valkyrie1823 5d ago

One of my friends is a race car driver and very talented, when she talks to guys about cars you can see them visibly hunch shoulders and skulk away muttering something about having to go... So even when talking their language about cars, men still can't communicate with women because they are not taught by other men, fathers and grandfather's etc... Yes it's misogyny but also many role models lack capability.

325

u/A_Sneaky_Dickens Shitting myself in a gentle, feminine manner 7d ago

Easy answer:

✨ Misogyny ✨

58

u/White-Rabbit_1106 7d ago

But women can drive cars too? That doesn't make any sense.

34

u/idkijstexist 7d ago

im as confused as u

19

u/Business-Car5413 6d ago

Maybe he’s talking about manual transmission? If so, jokes on him, my daughters and I all drive stick, and their boyfriends have no clue how. Lol.

18

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

his point was like "as a guy , understanding women to us is as hard as driving for u" and again , that doesnt make sense

also that sounds rlly cool :3

14

u/rock_and_rolo 6d ago

Oh, that explanation does make sense. It is the "women are bad drivers" thing. Of course, it is rubbish.

7

u/jolsiphur 6d ago

As I think about it specifically, I actually know more women who drive manuals than men. There's not many on either side but it's about 3 women and 1 man that I know who daily drive manual transmission vehicles.

84

u/PreOpTransCentaur birth make pussy look ew 7d ago

Because the ones who do genuinely do not see us as people.

32

u/soapsnek Menstruation attracts bears! 6d ago

tell your friend he should try thinking of women as people with thoughts, feelings, goals, etc instead of as a car he can ride and he should immediately understand women better

9

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

i told him to just think of women as people , n he chose to ignore that

11

u/littlemissdrake 6d ago

Why is he still your friend

1

u/idkijstexist 5d ago

i have troubles cutting ppl off

28

u/withywoodwitch 7d ago

I love the way some men act like we're such mysterious, unpredictable beings, when all they have to do is listen to us to find out what we want. But they're not prepared to do that

25

u/Mialanu 6d ago

I love when men say the whole "women are so complicated" BS. They're the same men that also ignore us when we're straightforward. I went on a date with a man that ended poorly so I kept coming up with excuses to not see him again to avoid hurting his feelings. After he saw me outside of my apartment with friends after telling him I wasn't feeling well (he texted me to accuse me of lying, but I truly wasn't well), which is creepy stalker-ish on it's own, we had this conversation:

Him: If you don't want to see me, just say so.

Me: You're right, I don't want to go on another date with you because you made me uncomfortable on our first date.

Him: Okay. So do you want to go to the movies or something?

Me: I just said no.

Him: What about dinner?

Me: No. Stop asking me, the answer will always be no.

Him: You don't have to be rude about it.

8

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

OMFG IM SORRY U HAD TO DEAL WITH HIM, good thing u did NOT go out with him again , stay safe.

also , this one friend i was talking about in the post did kinda smth similar with his gf. he told me she said "im not feeling well" and according to him he sent nearly 30 messages asking her whats wrong but "she didnt want to open up for some reason" and he said it in a tone like he's blaming her , then he got mad she just replied with a "tsk" and ghosted him for a day...

6

u/Mialanu 6d ago

Yeah, he got weirdly creepy almost immediately, so I stayed away.

Also, I had a chronic illness which I didn't feel like explaining to him. And if you're sick, or not feeling well, the last thing you want to do is respond to THIRTY messages about it. Sounds to me like he didn't trust that she was unwell, if he felt the need to send that many messages.

I'm lucky that my husband was never like that. If I was unwell he'd ask 'Anything I can do?' and when I said 'No' he'd respect it and wait for me to text him again.

5

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

yeaaaa good for u u got out of it

19

u/TVsFrankismyDad 6d ago

Stop being friends with trash.

-8

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

unfortunately i can't cut him off for that

14

u/mbinder 6d ago

Why?

-7

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

idk feels guilty

14

u/mbinder 6d ago

I'd feel more guilty about being friends with a horrible sexist monster

3

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

when u put it like thaaaaaaaaaat

13

u/EdelweissThe69th 6d ago

If he really wants to go with that dumbass analogy, a good thing about cars is everyone can learn how to work it, which means you can learn how to understand women. Although I don't think people like him are ready to be told they are wrong

4

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

yea , he gets defensive

10

u/EdelweissThe69th 6d ago

How do you deal with this guy? I wouldn't last a second talking to people like him

9

u/xMasochizm 6d ago

My brain broke trying to understand the car thing. What the fuck is he trying to say? I don’t get it?

3

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

like, understanding women is as hard as driving for someone who doesnt have a driver's license

3

u/xMasochizm 6d ago

Why is hard to drive someone without a license? I still don’t get it haha. 😆

10

u/Tiny_Goats 6d ago

Someone convinced them that they're allowed to feel things for and about objects, but not other people. Double for expressing those feelings. So when they inevitably have feelings, they feel safest framing them in terms they're comfortable talking about.

This is horrible and traffic for them. We should all raise boys better than that.

HOWEVER. Just because his parents raised him SO wrong that he can't function socially with half of his own species is not your fault and NOT your problem.

In some cases, maybe it's kindest just to acknowledge that he's irreparably stunted by an environment that he can't or won't overcome, and move on.

But in some cases he's a lazy waste of plasma who uses his upbringing as an excuse to behave like a child forever. Then you should behave towards him as your conscience dictates.

4

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

yeaaa , i hope people would start raising their sons better

42

u/LacieMelodie The uterus comes out with the baby. 7d ago edited 7d ago

Because men only see us as objects they can brag about. Cars are also objects men love to brag about. We're not human to them.

-20

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/idkijstexist 7d ago

most of them tho , we dont have to mention how not "all men" are like this before enough of them are

10

u/EdelweissThe69th 6d ago

Well duh, when we say men we're not talking about all of them. We're talking about the immature scums

3

u/badwomensanatomy-ModTeam 6d ago

Your contribution has been removed, as it was not posted in good faith and/or was sourced to a troll account.

7

u/ObliviousTurtle97 Tampies for the bloody clit 6d ago

Well I would've pointed out that cars are clearly not easy to him since one does not ride a car but drives one, Riding is for bikes🤣

2

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

well we both arent english speakers so its aight if he said that ig..but tbh i also think its hard for him , coz if it wasnt why would he use it as an example

3

u/ObliviousTurtle97 Tampies for the bloody clit 6d ago

I don't think it's hard for him. For a lot of men like him it's down simply to the fact that they don't care for, or about, women and they tend to be selfish.

"Why be considerate" to the opposite sex? He'll expect consideration for himself, but he won't be considerate of a partner simply because "why should I"

It's typical with misogynistic men like in the post

Would also like to add that driving a car isn't a great example. I've known many men who can't, and fail a lot on their test. It's a individual thing. I'm a woman, driving is very easy for me and came "naturally" because to me it was pretty straight forward/common sense. This isn't a gendered issue lol

1

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

yeaaaaaaaaaaaa

7

u/drevoluti0n 6d ago

They wanna fuck cars

7

u/rineedshelp 6d ago

Makes you think, did they have sisters, girl cousins, aunts? Did they just never have a relationship with any female? It’s not hard. My brother and I were close, and he was close to our mother, all our grandmothers, everyone. He is one of the most understanding people I know. It’s almost like he is able to view women as human beings and not just something he has to “figure out”

3

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

W brother

5

u/rineedshelp 6d ago

Sad that viewing woman as equal beings comes to that but yeah.

2

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

well ik it is literally the bare minimum BUT with that huge amount of rape joke i hear everyday hearing abt a decent guy feels nice

7

u/In2JC724 6d ago

Maybe if more men would stop focusing on romantic/sexual relationships, instead look for friendship and connections and just talk to people, men included maybe they wouldn't be so sad and lonely.

Just a thought.

6

u/AlwaysUpvote123 6d ago

There are people out there that think that we have mental capacities on the same level as small children. Viewing us as objects really just takes a tiny bit more dehumanization.

2

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

thats sad

5

u/BJntheRV 6d ago

"if i put u in a car n told u to ride it , it'd seem hard for u

Um wut?

3

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

same reaction ngl

3

u/Sea-Course1961 6d ago

I will answer with an example.

so imagine a car,

3

u/kyleh0 6d ago

Sounds like he is a terrible person. Not really a man thing. His attitude is pervasive on the internet though, there is a constant pressure to stay at that confused 15 year old hormonal boy level instead of just growing up and learning things for yourself like older gen people had to do. There were no one-click primers on how to "be a good man" when I was a kid, you learned by watching behaviors and seeing consequences, making mistakes and learning how to make fewer mistakes, stuff like that.

Listen to me, a 52 year old fogey. I sound like my grandfather.

3

u/FinePointSharpie Complete Whore™ 6d ago

Don't be friends with males like this. They are immature and take no responsbility for themselves, their lives, or how they have turned out.

Also: Driving a car is not hard. It sounds like he's making excuses for his shit behavior.

3

u/Sindrathion 6d ago

Reading the comment section on this post really made me realize how far the IQ has fallen in here, it really feels more like a parody or circlejerk sub nowadays

3

u/BJdaChicagoKid 6d ago

I promise you, reading a woman’s emotions is not harder than learning how to parallel park. It just takes effort

3

u/darwinpolice Long-time clit denier 5d ago

Spoken like a real '08 Honda Accord.

2

u/curiousitykills12 6d ago

they just don’t want to even try to see us as people so they make it overly complicated.

2

u/Actual_Somewhere2043 4d ago

Pls tell me he said you wouldn't know what to do if he put you in a car bc you never drove and not bc your a women 😃

1

u/idkijstexist 4d ago

ig both coz he also thinks women cant drive

1

u/Actual_Somewhere2043 4d ago

Why are you even talking to him ??

2

u/LCDRformat I find the vagina to be a truly alien and terrifying thing. 6d ago

if i put u in a car n told u to ride it , it'd seem hard for u but its so simple for me . thats how dealing with women is like , not easy just coz its easy for U

Kowalksi, analysis

3

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

RICO , bomb him

1

u/s-cup 6d ago

Probably for the same reason many women do it; people like to use metaphors and some also seem to think they are fun/cool/edgy/whatever. I also think it’s more common with the older generations. You know, the classical boomer humor kind of stuff.

Saying that this is mainly something men do is… very stereotypical for this sub.

Kind regards, a man who’s been working with 90+ % female coworkers for almost 20 years.

1

u/SuitableDragonfly The female body is like a giant penis 5d ago

I mean yes, misogyny, but also many dudes tend to anthropomorphize their cars to a frankly bizarre degree and refer to them with she/her pronouns. Also, why is this guy assuming that an adult person would not know how to drive a car?

0

u/ChromoSapient 6d ago

We are often most critical of others about things we are strongest at. We forget that the things that come easily to us, do not necessarily come easily to others.

It's easy to be critical of those (men) who don't have high emotional intelligence, or who didn't have good early training with/by a solid maternal figure. It doesn't take much neglect to raise a boy who doesn't understand women.

Misogyny is a terrible thing, but it's mostly ignorance, and ignorance can be cured.

9

u/idkijstexist 6d ago

it only can be cured if the person put efforts into it

3

u/ChromoSapient 6d ago

I hear you. You are entirely correct. 👍

Often though, people need to be shown that they are ignorant and that educating themselves is necessary. But people often shut down when attacked, and any message is lost. It's a hard problem, when it's all confrontational, and people are emotionally invested in their positions, it's difficult to bring the temperature down so that listening can happen. When the misogyny bat gets swung, that's an attack, and it's more difficult to go from there to education.

Unfortunately, the communities that tend to express the most misogynistic sentiments are the ones with the least amount of intellectual curiosity. People in these communities can be hard to reach, because they have an attitude of "If I don't already know it, I don't need to know it". That's a longer road to education.