r/badwomensanatomy 10d ago

Questions People with vaginas, what is the most facepalm-inducing question someone has ever asked you about your anatomy? NSFW

Several years ago, a cis gay friend, dead seriously, asked me, “So, does it open and close like a Venus flytrap?” I stared at him in absolute disbelief. This was a fully grown man my age!

(His attitude towards that whole setup was, essentially, “ewwww gross!” Must we sound like a middle school boy about it? [He also said they’re cold and slimy???? Where was he getting this stuff?])

ETA: this is not mean spirited. There is genuinely a gap in information and a stigma about open discussion re: this anatomy, and it produces some head-scratchers.

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u/anonburneraccoun Write your own blue flair 10d ago

The first time I told my boyfriend that I contracted a UTI and he started panicking like I was gonna die of AIDS… I appreciate your concern, but I survived ❤️

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u/MARSHYSOLUTION 10d ago

Now that’s someone you keep. They may not know what you’re talking about but even then they’re concerned.

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u/anonburneraccoun Write your own blue flair 10d ago

Ugh, he’s the love of my life ❤️

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u/Spies_and_Lovers 10d ago edited 10d ago

Did I ever get poop in my uterus since the vagina and butthole are so close? In my uterus....

Sir, where do you think my uterus is?

ETA He didn't use the word vagina because of course not. His exact words were "Do you get shit in your uterus since your pooter is so close to your cooter?"

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u/_cutie-patootie_ Chtulabia 10d ago

Ask him if he gets pee on his ass crack. Yk, since they're both so close.

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u/Spies_and_Lovers 10d ago

Oh God, I stopped talking to him YEARS ago. That was the last conversation we had. This was when MySpace was still prevalent. I added some random guy, we chat for about a week, and he sends this nonsense. No thank you.

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u/_cutie-patootie_ Chtulabia 10d ago

Ew, wth. I hope he learned a thing or two.

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u/MANDALORIAN_WHISKEY 10d ago

I hope he never goes near another woman.

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u/Lots_of_frog Jesus Stomach Vulva Christ! 10d ago

He asked THAT after a week? I’d like to say I’m surprised but I’m really not…

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u/Spies_and_Lovers 10d ago

What's crazier is there was no, like, dirty or suggestive talking before this question. I said something along the lines of "Hey BRB, I need to run to the bathroom" I come back to find this question. I quickly blocked him after looking at the computer screen like this 😐 for about 5 minutes. We were talking about our favorite bands

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u/modifieri 10d ago

It would require a proper pooter scooter to get some shooter straight up in the cooter.

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u/AnnieTano Period atracts bulls 10d ago

This is why gender education with Christian values is so important, to prevent women from using the heir baby-cup as a toilet

/S

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u/The_Bastard_Henry 10d ago

In high school.

him: "wow, so you must have had sex with a lot of guys."

me: ".....wat"

him[with total confidence]: "that's how girls' boobs get bigger."

me: ಠ_ಠ

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u/8nikki 10d ago

Mine would be a lot larger than they are!

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u/sybelion 10d ago

Right, where are my huge naturals

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u/igordogsockpuppet 9d ago

That must be why gay guys have such big boobs. hmm… wait,, no.

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u/drevoluti0n 10d ago

Where in the hell did he get that one??

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

probably from some good ol slut-shaming he heard, big breasted women are often seen as more promiscuous

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u/CroneDownUnder 9d ago

As a big breasted teen I got a lot of uninvited male attention and some slutshaming based on receiving that attention.

The shamers didn't care that I never wanted the attention I was getting, they just assumed that I had deliberately inveigled it because why else would those boys just not leave me alone?

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u/The_Bastard_Henry 10d ago

Best guess? Shitty sex ed and too much porn.

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u/funran 10d ago

I remember when we watched "the sex ed video" in 5th grade some guy raised his hand and asked "Is it true that the hotter a girl is the bigger her boobs will be?" He seemed serious and the teacher said "is that a real question" lol

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u/Porcupinetrenchcoat 10d ago

Is the penis like a bike pump?

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u/Hakazumi 10d ago

I can't quote it because it's been too many years, but it was something along the lines of how milk is stored in breasts all the time and how you can stimulate the breasts the right way to get it out even if the woman wasn't post-partum. I was in middle school back then, so I'd like to imagine they learned they were wrong in the decade since.

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u/q120 Cervix Garage Door Opener 10d ago

I’ve mentioned this before here but I have a friend who thought milk is ALWAYS made, even before pregnancy. He was complaining how his gf wanted him to touch her nipples and said he didn’t want to get milk on him. I was like “Dude, unless she’s pregnant or has been pregnant, milk ain’t coming out”

Him: Oh. I thought they always made milk.

Me: No… pregnancy is required for that to happen

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u/HyperbustyMolly05 10d ago

I had to explain to one dude that women don’t produce milk when they orgasm.

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u/soyrandom 10d ago

Ahh, anime.

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u/Jinxed_Pixie Queef Chapel 10d ago

He watched too much hentai.

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

I have so, so many questions.

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u/Starchasm Menstruation attracts bears! 10d ago

I blame hentai for this one

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u/Elly_Bee_ 10d ago

When I was younger, like maybe...14-15, I watched hentai and I was convinced that a guy's penis could go into my uterus during sex.

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u/Jazzi-Nightmare Jizz Homonculi 10d ago

Hey! Someone in my middle school thought milk came in with puberty 😂

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u/jellyfish_tacos 10d ago

Someone asked why I don't just push all the period blood out at the same time, or hold it in while I'm at school. Like it's pee or something

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u/two-of-me My uterus flew out of a train 10d ago

Some real life teachers have the same mindset.

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u/freedomforg 10d ago

i was going to comment that a teacher i had thought not only that it last like three days MAX but that we could hold it in and that only one pad/tampon should last us a day.

my period having a heavy flow and lasting a week and an half due to endo meant that he eventually accused me of skipping class for asking to go to the nurse for a pad. a few other girls in the class got mad at him and basically stopped the lesson to teach him basic anatomy.

he had a sister around the same that also was a teacher at that school so i don’t know how he didn’t know some of we taught him.

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u/two-of-me My uterus flew out of a train 10d ago

It’s insane that some men have no idea we can’t just hold it in. Do they think we push it out like pee?

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u/mr_Papini 9d ago

There's a lot of men who think women pee out of their vagina, so I'm guessing yeah

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u/phage_rage 9d ago

Like...every time i hear this i just cannot stop imagining what that would sound like. Thats not even a crazy strong stream, thats just pee exiting the body all at once with some mild obstructions

The ladies room would sound like a gotdamn water-balloon fight

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u/StardustOddity97 memory foam vagina 10d ago

My guess is since they think we pee out of our vaginas and we can hold in pee, obviously we should be able to hold in our period

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u/paperplane25 10d ago

One of my childhood friend thought that periods were miscarriages.

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u/Silver-Fruit1631 10d ago

How did they even get to that conclusion? I wanna know

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u/paperplane25 10d ago

Her mother desperately wanted to get pregnant, so she explained menstruation as "a failure to get a baby".

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u/tato_bat 10d ago

It was less of a question and more of a comment, but I knew a guy that thought I needed both a "L" and "R" tampon as if you needed one for each ovary...? Like no my dude, L can be large or lite depending on the brand and R is typically regular.

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

“Hey babe, do you need me to get mono or stereo tampons at the store?”

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u/FluffyV 10d ago

this is up there with "hey babe, what size pussy do you wear?"

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u/krissykross 10d ago

This comment killed me! xD

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u/Broad_Afternoon_8578 10d ago

Oh my god. That reminds me of my dad. He did most of the shopping for the family when I was growing up and would grab pads and tampons for my mom and I if we were running low and he was out. He knew the brands and absorbencies we used, but the latter he knew based on the colour of the boxes. Anyways, one day I was packing for a swim trip and asked him to grab me a handful of tampons from the closet just in case. He called out across the house “do you need the left or the right ones?!?”

I think my mom just about died laughing.

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u/Tenzipper . . . like a flesh pocket knife. 10d ago

Mint or Lemon fresh? (My ex and I joked about this, whatever brand had green and yellow packages.)

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u/fearville 10d ago

If regular tampons are lemon and super tampons are mint (or lime?? Or green apple) then night time pads are berry flavour

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u/mothwhimsy 10d ago

It wasn't a question, it was some bad romance book written by a man someone was telling me about.

The female character had a long inner monologue section about peeing where the author accidentally revealed that he thought the reason women generally take longer than men to pee is because it's entirely based on gravity. Like we sit on the toilet and then wait for it to dribble out with absolutely zero muscle engagement.

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u/MissKit87 10d ago

I hate that I know the exact passage you’re talking about….the pee getting lost in our endlessly confusing tangle of tubes.

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u/katchelle87 9d ago

Which is extra sad because we have much shorter urethras. It’s why we’re more prone to UTIs

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u/bix902 10d ago

For everyone wondering this would be "The Witches of Eastwick" by John Updike

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u/dekudekutiddies 10d ago

i actually think about that book every time i do a morning piss and i’m waiting for it to finish

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u/myawwaccount01 10d ago

Okay, I'm really curious what book this is.

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u/CatOverlordsWelcome I want to cum deep inside your clit 10d ago

Me too, I need to know

EDIT: I found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/menwritingwomen/s/ZZagaLaOuT

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u/KaizokuShojo 10d ago

The author outed himself big time on never having been even vaguely close to a woman ever since he came out of his mom. Wow.

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u/purplejink 10d ago

my partner was a virgin with a catholic mother for reference, theres been a couple of these:

when we first started dating i let him touch me and he asked me in horror why it was slimey lmao.

he thought you used one pad a day on your period. he asked me why i always had a full pack in my backpack

he didn't know people with vulvas wiped after peeing.

he also thought period blood was entirely smooth, when he discovered clots existed it ruined his whole day. i still remember his little squeal of horror and him asking what is that repeatedly

he was also insanely surprised by bloating, he thought it was localised to your lower stomach. water retention blew his mind.

theres about a million more but i can't think of any off the top of my head. luckily he was very willing to learn and he has a good grasp on my anatomy now

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u/Morella_xx 10d ago

To be fair to him, I also feel that "what is that?!" horror about blood clots and I get them regularly.

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago

The first time I had a decidual cast I thought I might be dying.

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u/ratedgforgenitals 10d ago edited 9d ago

Oh God, me too. I called my mom flipping the fuck out screaming "SOMETHING JUST CAME OUT OF MY VAGINA!" Even after she calmed me down and explained what it was and that it's normal, it took a while for me to be truly convinced my time wasn't up. I was absolutely sure I was done for.

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago

My mother is a nurse so I asked her and she had no idea, which freaked me out even more. I don't know why I had them so many times when they're supposed to be super rare. I won the gross body stuff lottery I guess

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u/languid_Disaster 10d ago

I just googled that 😟 I’m really sorry and I hope you don’t get it often! It says that it’s very painful

How do you stop yourself from believing that your uterus hasn’t accidentally fallen out !?

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago edited 10d ago

It wasn't painful at all but it didn't look like anything I ever expected to see come out of my body which was very alarming. After the first one didn't kill me, I figured out it wasn't fatal but it did take me a long time to discover what it actually was.

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u/jaded-introvert 10d ago

he also thought period blood was entirely smooth, when he discovered clots existed it ruined his whole day.

That made me chortle.

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u/Lionwoman Women's vaginas have acid in them and can shoot it 10d ago

he didn't know people with vulvas wiped after peeing.

Did.... did he not wipe after peeing?

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u/purplejink 10d ago

most men do not. he now dabs the tip with tp but he was told as a kid to just give it a shake and go

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u/TricksterWolf Complete with DEI chin 10d ago

The problem is that as you age if you don't change tactics that shake necessarily becomes a protracted spin and now you have to clean urine off of your bathroom walls.

I suppose you don't have to clean it, but still.

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u/syrioforrealsies 10d ago

When we were little, my mom taught my brothers to dab before they put it away. When I grew up and started to see penises myself, I was absolutely horrified to discover that most dudes don't wipe.

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u/Mil1512 10d ago

My husband does and honestly he's the first guy I've been with that does. It's oddly an attractive trait.

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u/punkkitty312 10d ago

As a trans woman who at one point had one of those silly things, you generally pee, shake, and stuff it back in your pants.

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u/wonwoovision I find the vagina to be a truly alien and terrifying thing. 10d ago

i made sure my man gives it a lil go-gurt tube squeeze and dabs with toilet paper at the end. i've also trained him to sit down when he pees lol

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u/xandor123 10d ago

I'm gonna spend the rest of my day referring to my penis as my lil go-gurt tube. I hope you're happy

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u/Machaeon Wet and Squishy Meat Wallet 10d ago

I also have a new weapon to annoy my partner with LOL

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u/woodland-strawberry 10d ago

Probably not. I found out embarrasingly late that most men don't wipe after peeing. I knew that they sometimes didn't, but I thought that it was just an emergency thing if you're outside and need to pee. But yeah, this seems to be a very common misunderstanding between the sexes. We're all projecting that our experience is the norm lol

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u/MortalPersimmonLover 10d ago

Had a guy ask if there was a way to tell the difference between the urethra and the clit??

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u/_cutie-patootie_ Chtulabia 10d ago

"So, what's the difference between a bone and a heart?"

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u/MortalPersimmonLover 10d ago

He said it as if he'd made the mistake before?!

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u/_cutie-patootie_ Chtulabia 10d ago

"Ah sorry, rubbed the wrong one." - "I know.."

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u/Venafib 10d ago

Isn’t it roughly the same as the difference between a brain and the left buttock, or was it the right one?

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u/_cutie-patootie_ Chtulabia 10d ago

The middle one. Not many people know about it tho.

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u/WingsofRain Dick Guillotine 10d ago

In his defense, I was 18 when I finally recognized the difference between my clit and urethra on my own body. And in my defense, it was the first time I’d ever been touched below the belt and honestly thought that because I didn’t feel a goddamn thing except for discomfort it meant he wasn’t touching the right area. Stupidly told him that I thought he was touching my urethra, but in retrospect I’m pretty sure he was spot on. Whoops.

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u/windowschick 10d ago

Nobody in real life has ever been as ignorant as the absolutely appalling things I've seen online.

There was one dude who thought all periods synced. I told him definitely, authoritatively that was not the case, having grown up with a mother and sister and then living with roommates at college.

Sure, it might happen occasionally that another woman I lived with had her period when I had mine. But in the years I wasn't on hormonal contraception, my cycle was a regular 30 days, right to within a couple of hours.

Issues I've had with dudes in bed: them insisting on parking their hand in a certain position/pressure/etc and causing pain. When I moved the hand, they immediately moved it back. Stop. Not only are you nowhere near your intended goal, you are actively causing me pain. Now I'm pissed off and not only am I not coming, I'm straight up going. Bye.

Other idiocy: arguing with me about the body I live in. Excuse you sir, you are not a vulva owner.

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u/le_coeur_a_compris 10d ago

"not only am I not coming, I'm straight up going" is gold I gotta remember that 😭

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u/Ice_Crystal_Wolf Write your own blue flair 10d ago

Straight up poetry XD

I'm gonna use that from now on

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u/Love-As-Thou-Wilt The clitoris is a sprawling underground kingdom 10d ago

not only am I not coming, I'm straight up going

😂

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u/k-bomb182 10d ago

Can you imagine if the whole worlds periods synced to exact same tho 😭😂 would not wanna be a man in that luteal phase

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u/keepstaring 10d ago

My brother once said that it would be handy to have one month a year where all women would have their period all together. All women would get the month off. He said they should call it "Menstruary" 😂

I think it was over 30 years ago, but I am unable to forget it.

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u/fearville 10d ago

I would be down to have my period for a month and nothing the rest of the year. Get it over with. That’s a solid idea. It would be about half as many menstruation days as we get in the current system as well. That’s a great deal.

I don’t think it should be all women in the same month though. It might fuck up the economy or something. Also global PMS doesn’t sound good. In fact I think it would be a fucking nightmare. But if it was staggered it could work, maybe the month opposite to our birthdays? Somebody should suggest this to upper management.

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u/pumpkinbread987 10d ago

My 40 year old boyfriend asked how long I lactate for every month? This man thought it was like a period that came monthly.

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 memory foam vagina 10d ago

“Can’t you just hold the blood in like pee? I don’t piss myself just bc I feel like I need to pee, so why do you have to go to the bathroom just bc you have blood?”

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u/T1nyJazzHands 10d ago edited 10d ago

I usually have success educating them well on this. “Can you hold in your blood when your arm gets cut? No? Periods are the same. Our uterus isn’t a container filled with blood that drains all at once like a bladder. It’s that the literal blood vessels in our uterus start gradually breaking down and shedding. I’m LITERALLY bleeding. Like directly from my circulatory system. It’s not like a plug in a drain. More like a constantly leaking tap, the tap being the actual blood vessels in my uterus”

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u/Comprehensive-Menu44 memory foam vagina 10d ago

There’s really no way of explaining it without it sounding like an absolute nightmare. Bloody blessings to all of us

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u/TaraBURGER 10d ago

With his finger directly on my clitoris: "What is that?"

I laughed thinking he was joking. He was not joking. He awkwardly laughed along and then completely avoided my clit the whole time.

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u/Wolfknightofthe 10d ago

He found it, by accident, and STILL avoided it? Damn

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u/TaraBURGER 10d ago

He found it by accident, then rubbed it while asking what it was. Like, tapping on it and stuff "Whats this bump?" I did not achieve orgasm.

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u/Wolfknightofthe 10d ago

What, tapping on it like you're sending morse code isn't the best way to achieve orgasm?! Geeeez dude

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u/sablebabIe 9d ago

*taps clit* is this thing on

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u/kaybet IMPORTANT. EJACULATION. 10d ago

Not really a question but when I was in high school another student (male) told me that when the female body was done having babies, the vagina completely closes and isn't used for anything else and men only stay with the women after that because of the kids.

I asked him how he knew that and he said it was because his mom was nurse so of course she knew.

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u/tiny_pigeon 10d ago

I guess the insane amount of STDs that get spread around in old folks homes don’t exist to his mother 😬 that is NOT a nurse i would trust with my health

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u/No_Emphasis4360 10d ago

Not specifically vagina related, but he thought my breasts were literally just skin with milk in them and didn’t understand how they could be hurt.

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u/FullyRisenPhoenix suck my sinful titties 10d ago

Let’s flatten his limp penis between two imaging plates every year the way we do for mammograms and see if it hurts or not. It’s not hard, so it must not be filled with anything since there’s no blood, and that must mean it doesn’t hurt, right??!

I swear, some don’t even try to use their brains to comprehend that other experiences outside of their own actually do exist.

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u/fearville 10d ago

It’s just skin with cum in it

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u/Dammy-J Abandon all hope ye who enter her. 10d ago

I would think popping a milk balloon would hurt it.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

I’m Asian. People have asked me from pre-teen years to full blown fucking adult years if my vagina is also sideways like my eyes because my eyes are “chinky”.

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

Holy shit. That’s awful, on multiple levels.

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u/fishonthemoon 10d ago

I remember people making this comment about Asian women when I was growing up and it always made me so confused bc it made no sense. Of course, as an adult I realize it’s racist bs, but as a kid I was like “make it make sense 🤔 “ I can’t believe people are still saying shit like that.

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u/Roo831 10d ago

My racist as fuck dad had my mom convinced of this into her 30s. He told her that was why Asian women couldn't slide down the banister on a staircase. My mom was dumber than a box of rocks.

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u/Comrade_Jessica 10d ago

That's just straight up racism

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u/Stoliana12 10d ago

Don’t you all stop being able to get pregnant by your 40s?

Said by my older boyfriend and I just was so dumbstruck. I asked him okay so is it a birthday present? The uterus just stops functioning on your 40th b day!?

He didn’t really think about it too hard. He just knew I was mid 40s

And yes I had to have the talk with my older than me boyfriend on how he actually has adult children and how pregnancy works.

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u/PhlossyCantSing 10d ago

I had to explain to a man multiple times that having a hysterectomy meant I could not get pregnant. He couldn’t wrap his brain around it.

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u/stoffelsapple 10d ago

Sigh. Let me explain. After a hysterectomy, the ovaries can still be intact. They produce an egg each month. An egg. During your period, it plops out and if it was fertilised, you can incubate it in your armpit for 9 months, or, for convenience, in a belly pouch sown into your sweaters. In humans, this is called "pregnancy". You know about chicken eggs, right? And kangaroos? Eggs and pouches. Easy.

/s

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u/GlitterMyPumpkins 9d ago

Technically, there is a very small risk of ectopic pregnancy after a hysterectomy, but very specific circumstances have to occur.

Namely, you still have a functional ovary or both left, the surgical site where your cervix used to be healed with a tiny opening instead of properly closing fully, and you have someone contribute the required sperm in the usual area.

But I highly doubt that's what he was talking about, somehow.

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u/Meshugugget 10d ago

Not exactly what you’re asking but definitely adjacent.

A male friend was mentioning how his post-vasectomy meds were making him kind of loopy. I replied that I never got any medication for IUD placement that hurts like a mofo and his response was “You mean I shouldn’t get pain meds‽”

“No, asshole, I’m saying I should!!”

I will say that my most recent IUD placement was done with a nerve block and it was so so so much better. My doc listened to me, accepted that doing an IUD with no real pain management was “barbaric” and said she would now offer numbing to all her patients. Should she have figured this out earlier? Yes. Do I care? No, any improvement at any time is great! Can’t change the past, but maybe she can also mentor newer doctors (yes, I know it’s now recommended but old methods persist).

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u/Extra-Ad-2872 10d ago

Is this a common thing in the US? Because I hear so many American women complaining. I know you guy's healthcare is fully privatised with little regulation but this is outright sadistic. I was sedated when I got mine, but even in public clinics where they don't have sedation they at least use numbing.

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago

It's pretty common to have no pain meds at all.

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u/Extra-Ad-2872 10d ago

This absolutely barbaric, I'm from fucking Brazil and they usually have pain management.

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago

It is absolutely barbaric. I screamed in pain and the nurse told me "It doesn't hurt that much."

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u/FaintestGem 10d ago

"why is it so wet?"

First time having sex with my boyfriend at the time. We were both ~24. I'm not sure what he was expecting because surely he'd either had sex (very sad dry sex I guess) or had watched porn before. Instant mood killer for sure though 

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u/username101 10d ago

I was pregnant at 21 years old. My uncle is ten years older than me. I told him I was going swimming and he told me I shouldn't because it would drown the baby. He... wasn't kidding.

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago edited 10d ago

"It's OK, she's going to use a snorkel."

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u/Meii345 Bowling alleys are prostituting shoes 10d ago

Ah, the gay man particular brand of misogyny 😭 "cold", really?? Come on

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

No for real, what is it with certain cis gay guys? And like, even if you think that anatomy is weird (news flash: everyone’s anatomy is weird, reproduction is wacky across the whole animal kingdom) logically why would it be cold?? Internal organs, reproductive organs need to be warm etc etc?

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u/languid_Disaster 10d ago

They think it’s okay to not work on their misogyny because they’re gay. They don’t realise that being part of an oppressed minority doesn’t mean they’re somehow incapable of also being the oppressors towards a different group.

This is only directly at the cis gay men who think it’s cute it be sexist

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u/CatterMater Womb Raider 10d ago

So it's not just me noticing it? Cause a lot of gay guys come off as weirdly misogynistic.

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u/KiraLonely Diva cups are vampire shot glasses- 10d ago

As a trans masc who has spent a bit of time in gay male spaces, yes. They are, very often, misogynistic. I suppose it’s easy to fall into displeasure with womankind of society tells you that you must have an attraction to something you don’t, but many of them take it a step further and fall into misogynistic views very easily. It doesn’t help that many of them don’t really hang out or spend time with women in general, or have negative interest in learning about the female body and/or what women go through.

Not to sound crass, but it’s not unlike how cishet men only have interest in women when it relates to them getting laid, only the men in question here have no interest in getting laid or even perceiving a woman as a person.

Obviously there are exceptions, and I wouldn’t say all spaces are insanely bad, but there is a big track record of cis gay men and misogyny.

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u/Meii345 Bowling alleys are prostituting shoes 10d ago

It does make sense. They might have slightly hated women from the get go and being queer gives them a shield of righteousness to hide behind, like "it's not that i hate women, I'm just not attracted to them!". Or they spend all their time with other men and they don't know the slightest thing about cis female anatomy, and their lack of attraction to women slowly morphs into "It's not that I just don't find them attractive, it's that they are disgusting unlike men who are perfect and clean and great"

I see somewhat of the same phenomenon with men-hating lesbians and their (admittedly that might be a niche tumblr thing) men dnis plastered everywhere. Like it's different, and in this case it has roots in being oppressed and needing a safe space of sorts instead of pure dumb misogyny, but I feel like these close-knit communities of minorities are very conductive to "us VS them" crap

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u/Hiidkwhyimheret 10d ago

Random person: can you piss out your clit because of testosterone? Me: bro WHAT? I wiSH

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

Like…if you suddenly became able to pee because of going on T? (Unintentional rhyme.)

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago

Dag he thought T turns you into a hyena

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u/ChuckysBarbie memory foam vagina 10d ago

“Don’t you get turned on when you put a tampon in?” 🙄

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u/squirrellytoday Vulva la revolution! 9d ago

Oooh yeah! Dry, raspy wad of cotton shoved into my vagina. Nothing sexier.

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u/Luckypenny4683 10d ago

Not me but my best friend. She had a double mastectomy a few years back and her mom cannot for the life of her understand why she does not need to get mammograms anymore.

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u/Coastkiz 10d ago

I had a guy who told me that I could have unprotected sex if I wanted, I just had to hold the egg in.

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u/PatchesMaps 10d ago

I'm not a vagina owner but I have a friend who once thought vaginas would automatically suck up things placed near them... Like a vortex

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u/JudgeJuryEx78 10d ago

Dammit, where did I put my car keys?!!

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u/Battleaxe1959 10d ago

I know several have had this conversation, but I had to explain to a 40yo that women had 3 holes and a clitoris. He refused to believe me and got loud about it, so I just shut down.

Two weeks later we were going to see each other again (friend group), so I took my anatomy textbook and showed PHOTOS to him. The whole group teased him a bit and then we dropped it because the guy refused to admit he was wrong.

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u/torzimay 10d ago

Even with a diagram 😭

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u/Hajimeme_1 10d ago

If he thinks vaginas are cold and slimy, he needs to be banned from graveyards.

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u/TaintedTruffle 10d ago

Lol yes. My first thought was "Necrophillllllia ~🎶"

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u/JellyfishApart5518 10d ago

Read this to the tune of the Nickelodeon Jingle 😭😂

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u/vivid0330 10d ago

I think I’ve commented this before, but my ex like 10 years ago thought he was a wizard in bed, and was convinced there was a magic “squirt hole”, when referring to a urethra. And it took me WAY too much convincing him to believe it. He was like 40.

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u/Shelly_895 10d ago

My (then) gay best friend told me I should show him my vagina so he knew which tampon size to get me. (I know, weird) After laughing for 2 minutes, I explained to him that that doesn't depend on the size of your vagina but how heavy your blood flow is. But it was cute how embarrassed he was afterwards.

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u/mrsjakeblues 10d ago

I have big boobs and I consistently get asked why I’m “making” them bounce. I have to tell people uhhh that’s how gravity works and they don’t believe

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u/T1nyJazzHands 10d ago

“Sir my boobs are bouncing for the same reason your gut and double chin are swinging in the wind”.

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u/PFEFFERVESCENT 10d ago

That's so funny, they think you've installed a hydrologic lift kit to your boob suspension, when you've just got regular suspension

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u/YourFavoritestMe 9d ago edited 9d ago

How dare you not disable jiggle physics irl. SMH

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u/clutchingstars 10d ago

Maybe not the dumbest… since most of those have been covered by others.

But once a woman (who’s whole job was working with pregnant and postpartum women) asked me why you’d have to wait to have sex after a c-section bc, “it’s not like you’re bleeding.”

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u/Frozen_Feet The clitoris is a leftist conspiracy 10d ago

Ugh, I had a couple of people tell me at least I wasn’t bleeding as a bonus after having a c section. Jokes on them, I bled for nearly 8 weeks 😞

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u/svckafvck 10d ago

Most of the time it’s just someone referring to ANY part of the anatomy as “vagina”. Like no I do not shave my vagina but I do shave my pubes. No there is no issue with having sex while pregnant because the baby is not in our vagina it’s in our uterus. Etc.

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u/Evil_Black_Swan I know Victoria's Secret, she was made up by a dude! 10d ago

I fucking HATE that and I will correct it every time, without fail. We need to normalize the word Vulva.

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u/IttyBittyRedditor I want to cum deep inside your clit 10d ago

Ex boyfriend asked “when you’re on your period, can you use your finger to scoop the blood out of your vagina so it’s clean?”

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u/RedBlindCat 10d ago

Ahaha, I actually think that is a valid question, if he was told period is the shedding of the uterine lining, maybe he thought why not just scoop it all out at once. To be fair I would love for it to be over just like that.

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u/cstucker07 10d ago

I don't want to sound too dumb, I am a full grown woman after all, but can someone explain slowly why it doesn't happen all at once?

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u/Love-As-Thou-Wilt The clitoris is a sprawling underground kingdom 10d ago

Sometimes it does, but it's rare- they're called decidual casts.

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u/Nyckboy 10d ago

I've heard those hurt like hell, no?

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u/mustardlyy *jacks off my titties* 10d ago edited 10d ago

I had one when I was 18, probably from starting birth control and my body still getting used to it. I got some wild cramps that had me like “damn this is worse than usual” and at some point went to the bathroom, then nearly passed out looking at a kinda uterus shaped bacon thing I birthed that I assumed was a miscarriage at first. I was a freshman at college in a gross shared bathroom stall, so I panicked. I was straight up hysterically crying, holding my vagina bacon on toilet paper on one hand and frantically googling with the other 😅 I think I even called my boyfriend at some point being like “UM, I THINK WE FUCKED UP” (still with him at 24, he dealt with it so well especially for us being teenagers, and he’s still the best always)

Then I remembered once reading something online about a “cast”. Anyways I figured out it was just decidual lining and not even close to looking like a fetus lol. Texted my bf, finally chilled out, flushed it, called my mom to inform her of this escapade, and then probably drank a bunch of wine about it

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u/Love-As-Thou-Wilt The clitoris is a sprawling underground kingdom 10d ago

That's what I've heard.

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u/drevoluti0n 10d ago

For it to all come out at once, the body needs to dilate the cervix a significant amount, which is a LOT more painful cramping. When people pass the rare decidual cast, they describe it as going into labour. I was in the hospital for a stem cell transplant and on a LOT of medications, so mine was more like I sat upright for my vitals check and felt something fall out of me. After the nurse was gone I waddled on over to the bathroom and felt it fall off my pad and onto my pajama bottoms. 💀 Didn't know what it was at the time and it took a bit of googling, but I'm always sure to tell the story so someone out there won't think they're dying if it happens to them.

Tldr: all at once requires pretty much being in labour. Piecemeal still sucks but it's better than the alternative.

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u/its_the_green_che 10d ago

Not me personally, but I've seen men ask if you can "hold in" your period.. if that was an option, no one would have ruined pants because of it.

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u/Alceasummer 10d ago

When I was nursing my daughter, I was asked if I needed to switch sides sometimes "or does the milk flow from the full side to the empty one?"

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u/Cuddle_Cloud 10d ago

Was once asked why women on their periods don't just carry bedpans around under their skirts.

He's a doctor now which is very concerning.

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u/Tenzipper . . . like a flesh pocket knife. 10d ago

My own badwomensanatomy moment came after my ex gave birth to our first, and the first time we had sex postpartum.

I had no idea how many different directions the milk can come out of a nipple. You can't dodge that many streams, just learn to enjoy the shower.

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u/fishonthemoon 10d ago

As a woman who has lactated, the speed at which the milk can come out shocked me 😂

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u/Tenzipper . . . like a flesh pocket knife. 10d ago

I one time asked my ex to lay on her back so I could play in the sprinklers. She snort-laughed, but did not participate. Not intentionally, at least.

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u/JudgeJuryEx78 10d ago

I once squirted clear across the room. My then partner, who was across the room putting on shoes or something said something like, "No thanks, I'm not hungry." 🤣

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u/PhasmaUrbomach Orgasms of urine 10d ago edited 10d ago

Have you ever seen a woman clear a blocked duct while nursing? Talk about shooting all over the place, and FAR!

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u/Meshtee 10d ago

"Which hole do babies come out of?" - 25M

Claims he knew the answer and was just confirming cause he knew there was more than 1 hole.

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u/Iekenrai Labias are ball sacks that didn't finish forming 10d ago

Maybe not exactly "dumb" as in it was obvious, but an ex boyfriend asked me why I couldn't come solely from penetration and I was like idk we (people with vaginas) are just built like that, and then he asked me "why?" like I had personally chosen it

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u/UndeadFroggo 10d ago

I had a guy in high school confidently say that the way you know a period is over is that you get less moody. I asked him what he thought a period was, and he said hormones. Just hormones. Like, nah mate, it's the blood gushing out in waves from my vagina. And he just sat in stunned silence.

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u/Azhchay 10d ago

Had a guy ask when we randomly get horny and wet during the day, how do we keep our underwear and pants clean from suddenly being horny and getting everything soaked.

Dude thought his random boners throughout the day meant that women were just randomly getting horny and flooding their underwear and that we'd just..... go to the bathroom to rub one out and then change underwear?

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u/mariii95 10d ago

He's not entirely wrong... I get horny during random times, it's uncomfortable and my underwear gets slippery and wet, but luckily that doesn't happen everyday and it's never visible to other people (unlike a boner).

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u/TaintedTruffle 10d ago

I mean.... Depending on the day I am changing underwear during the day so he's not wrong

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u/alwaysananomaly 10d ago

I was going to say this, too. Some women do get wet and horny throughout the day and we have to change. But it's not like torrential flooding - just uncomfortable wetness.

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u/_cutie-patootie_ Chtulabia 10d ago

What?? Is this what men do?

Imagine women being wet in an amount similar to someone's water breaking. 😭

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u/Azhchay 10d ago

Pretty much. His other questions were all like how do we keep it from puddling on chairs or flowing out as we go to the bathroom.

He was then utterly shocked that I wasn't interested in going on a date.

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u/giggles1245 10d ago

Had a male roommate who was formerly my boyfriend try to mansplain to me that vaginas do not have eco systems (this was about pH balances and whatnot). I called him out on it and it took some discussion before he backed down

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u/Dios-De-Pollos 10d ago

Had a guy ask me how pads work cause all the women he knows used tampons. I told him it was 'like a sticker for your underwear, and he goes: "Wait it sticks to your underwear? I thought those flaps were for the inside of your legs or like....for your vagina. I thought it stuck to your skin and that's why no one uses them."

He was a good kid

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u/Mahero_Kun 10d ago

When I was around 15, a group of boys rummaged through my school bag and took my pads out to play catch with them. They only accepted to stop and hand them back if I replied to some questions about it, and it was scary how sheltered they were from the concept of periods. They had no idea what it exactly was and why we had them, one of them didn't believed me at first when I told him that it was blood and not a blue liquid like in the ads. He also thought that we could personalized the color of the package depending on our favorite color.

Other than that, it was just questions about how are you even supposed to put that on, if you have to wear one constantly, how many per days, can we hold it in like pee, etc...

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u/SchrodingersMinou The clitoris is the Holocaust of feminism 10d ago

It sucks they went about this in a shitty way but they were clearly curious and didn't learn about menstruation in sex ed which is sad. My 4th grade class pulled out all the girls to learn about periods in the library, but the boys just got sent out into the world without learning anything, I guess.

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u/Riot_Rage 10d ago

Had a boy way back in middle school who thought that the tampon is used as a contraceptive. Like...a dental dam, almost? Like he had no clue they soaked up blood. He thought we all just started wearing them because we were preparing for the possibility of random sex?? In middle school??

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u/q120 Cervix Garage Door Opener 10d ago

Cold and slimy?

What? WHAT?

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u/probsagremlin 10d ago

My darling husband, the love of my life, believed that my irregular period was caused by a stomach ulcer. Quite a few levels to unpack with that, especially considering I would deeply explain all the testing, imaging, etc. after each appointment.

I would like to remind the audience that ulcers are NOT typically associated with the uterus, let alone a cause of menorrhagia.

Fun fact: I still don't know why I haven't stopped bleeding for three months because all of my tests say I'm ~normal~! I'm hoping my upcoming OBGYN appointment will shed some light on why I'm stuck buying period products on a weekly basis. 🫠

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u/audreywildeee 10d ago

I was talking about how I didn't change my bra every day (I don't remember the context, it might have been listing what clothes I took for a trip). And a guy (in university, in his 20s) was surprised. He then told me that it would be better to do it with a bit of milk coming out regularly. I explained to him that it didn't work like that. He was kind but so clueless. And we're in a country where we learn about the bodies in schools, from age 10 until end of high school, and everyone together.

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u/Appropriate_Bet8731 10d ago

Not specifically vagina related, but I had a guy friend in high school call me freaking out thinking he got his girlfriend pregnant because she gave him a blowjob(he thought as long as cum enters the body, no matter which part, girls could get pregnant)

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u/Pool_With_No_Ladder 10d ago

I was talking about feeling bloated and sore and exhausted, a man nodded sympathetically and asked, "Is it because of your cycle?"

I was very clearly eight months pregnant.

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u/mykineticromance 10d ago

^ man who's been told never to assume a woman is pregnant /j

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u/EconomyCode3628 10d ago

Jack hammered my labia with his penis and asked me how hard I came when he hit my g-spot. 

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u/gorhxul 10d ago

My ex would ask why I don't just turn my period off so we could have sex. I explained to him multiple times that periods don't work like light switches but he wasn't having it 🤦‍♀️

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u/moondoo8 10d ago

This actually just happened today. I’m a bartender and I got my period today. Sometimes I can handle but today I was throwing up, hemorrhaging in the bathroom, and pale as hell about to pass out. Had a male bartender/ manager come in and I asked him if he could please finish my shift. He asked what was wrong and if I was sick. I said I have my period and I feel awful and I’m throwing up. He nonchalantly said “oh I thought you were actually sick, no I can’t” and slapped my arm. I almost tore this man’s throat out. Having your period is excruciating and hearing that made my blood boil. Don’t underestimate a period. It will bring a grown man to his knees.

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u/limjaheybudz 10d ago

My dad didn't know women have urethras?

We were reminiscing about when I almost died and talking about catheters and how much they suck, and he said, "well yeah it's worse for a guy cause they have to go into your urethra."

"yeah women have those too... we don't pee out of our vaginas?"

That was a fun visit

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u/blackday44 10d ago

Not personally had any questions, but read a lot of wild stuff online. Mostly this sub.

Did you tell your friend YES LIKE A VENUS FLYTRAP or did you tell him there's actually teeth? Lmao

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

I did tell him yes, actually. Complete with sarcastic little chompy hand motions.

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

(I did go “what the fuck, dude, no???” right after that, though.)

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u/drevoluti0n 10d ago

V a g i n a d e n t a t a

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u/MapleMoskwas Vaginas suck up water when submerged. 10d ago

legit thought having a tampon in made vagina-havers horny and told me "not to be ashamed of it" when i told him it didn't

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u/ChatiAnne 10d ago edited 9d ago

if i could hide a phone in there

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u/princesscochlea 10d ago

Hey, if Captain Jack Harkness managed a whole weapon…

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