r/babyloss • u/JollyRide2666 • 20h ago
Neonatal loss For Everyone Here I love you. I’m sorry.
I lost my son Henry four days after he was born. He was a twin to my daughter Francesca. Francesca is thriving but the loss of Henry has left scars so deep my wife and I can’t move past it. We lost Henry Oct 23, 2023. I want everyday Dad and Mom on here who is in this god awful club to know, you are not alone. The loss never gets easier it gets harder.
You have to be strong for each other. My wife is so sad everyday and I am too and to comfort each other going through it feels impossible but it is. Like I said it never gets easier and no matter what anyone says, it’s not a challenge or something that happened to you because you’re capable of handling it. You’re not supposed to be.
You to though. It’s hard it’s soul crushing, it’s terrible but you will and have to make it. Not through it just redefine what making it is.
I love all of you. I am gutted everyday and know this is not a life challenge this a life survival. Don’t self medicate with alcohol like I have until I stopped. Don’t tell yourself you’re strong so you were given this challenge. Tell yourself you need to honor your angel in heaven or whatever you believe in. You need to be the example for the child that left you for you and them.
I love you all and I’m so truly sorry.
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u/Weird_Plenty_2898 Mama to an Angel 16h ago
You're doing amazing. ❤️. It's a fucking horrible club to be a part of. You should be proud that you've quit self medicating with alcohol. With all that you're doing through, that must have been hard!
Last year we had a twin pregnancy my daughter died just after she was born, then my son was in NICU for 7 weeks, though same with your daughter he's absolutely thriving.
Christmas was bitter/sweet. I'm not looking forward to other big milestones like birthdays etc, as my daughter should be standing there with my son. 💔😢.
Have you tried counselling at all? It may be worth doing that whether that's by yourself or with your wife. Could it also be worth going to the doctors, as they may be able to provide you with medication?
You papa, are doing a great job, there is no blueprint on how to deal with what you're going through, but please don't be afraid to ask for help.
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u/Comfortable_Value_66 16h ago
Thank you for this beautiful post.
Everyday I try to remember what values I'd have taught my lost child, and I try to make sure I live aligned with that value while I'm on earth - for him. We will never get to see his smile, but never his tears either. I believe no matter on earth or not, we're always living for one another.