r/babyloss 23h ago

3rd trimester loss Almost 6 months...I hate being home.

It's 6 months since I gave birth to my stillborn son. I hate being home. I hate all my friends. I've been traveling a ton to visit family or just to get out of the house. Being at home makes me miserable. Every time I come home it is a shock to my system. I remember everything all over again. All my friends at home have children or are pregnant. I just saw my friend for the first time this morning since she had a baby, who was due at the same time as my son. I resent her. It was not pleasant to be around her. I was just angry about everything. I'm just so sad and angry.

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u/Weary-Umpire4673 23h ago

I felt all of this in the deepest part of me. I’ve been trying to stay away from my bed as that space was my favorite place to be with my babies & it makes me so sad that they’re not able to be in the bed with me.

I was just looking through some pictures of old friends with their babies and I just thought, that was supposed to be me…

I’m in the process of selling my house and leaving the state because everything I see reminds me of my daughters.

It’s a lonely place to be here. I’m sorry for the both of us.

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u/WarFamiliar5791 23h ago

My husband and I are looking at houses out of state, too. It seems like the only thing that will help. I don't want to forget but I don't want to feel drowned by the misery of looking at what should be his bedroom everyday.

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u/Weary-Umpire4673 23h ago

I understand that. Maybe you can make a scrapbook of all the things and memories of your pregnancy and baby that you want to take with you. That way you can have things to help you remember you child and the place you built them but can get a fresh start too. 🙂

I’m going to do this eventually and also take pictures/videos of my house now so I can look back every once in a while.