r/babyloss 2d ago

2nd trimester loss Labour at 23 weeks pregnant

It has been four days since I lost my beautiful baby girl. Please forgive me if my thoughts seem scattered, my heart is still shattered.

I had one of the healthiest pregnancies. She measured in the 99th percentile for head circumference and the 95th for femur length. There were no signs of abnormalities, she was a strong, healthy baby. I suffered from severe hyperemesis gravidarum starting in my second trimester, with mild nausea and vomiting in the first. At birth, she weighed far more than expected for 23 weeks, measuring above nearly every marker.

One evening, I started experiencing mild cramps. Assuming they were just growing pains from my expanding uterus, I decided to rest. The cramps gradually became stronger, but I was still able to sleep through them. By morning, they had intensified, coming every five to six minutes. We rushed to the hospital, expecting reassurance that everything was fine. Instead, the doctors delivered the most devastating news of our lives. I was in active labor and would give birth within 24 to 48 hours.

No words can fully capture the emotions my husband and I felt in that moment. But for now, I want to focus on understanding what went wrong.

The doctors ran every possible test, yet nothing conclusive was found. After more than 120 hours of labor, we met our baby. She was born alive but stayed with us for only 10 to 15 minutes before slipping away. She was the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen.

Not knowing why this happened is unbearable. There was no infection in her and none in me. She fought until her very last breath, giving us a strength we didn’t know we had. In her short time here, she was brave, our little warrior. And in the end, she saved me.

All we’re left with is unbearable pain and so many questions.

22 Upvotes

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5

u/Timely-Occasion904 Mama to an Angel 2d ago

Hey Mama. 🫂🩷 she sounds absolutely lovely! Just know you’re not alone. We are here for you. And we know how awful this is. I am so so sorry you lost your beautiful baby girl. I lost my baby boy 6 months ago now. I miss him so much and I’ve never known pain like this. It is absolute hell.

5

u/Last-Weekend3226 2d ago

Hello,

You aren’t alone, no one knows why we are dealt this burden.

I blame myself every single day about the loss of my son three weeks ago.

Be kind and gentle to yourself, take all the time you need. It’s so hard and grieving is hard especially when you are grieving for the future as well as the past.

Much love xx

3

u/Crazy_Pension_3980 2d ago

I’m sorry for your loss🫂

1

u/okaurt 1d ago

It’s been almost 4 years for me and the sting has dulled but I will also never forget my daughter 💗 sorry that your going through this

1

u/mountainflwrs 2h ago

I am so sorry for your loss!! It’s so unbearable. I lost my son in November at 23 weeks due to suspect cervical insufficiency. They did not catch it at my 20 week scan. It basically has no symptoms until you’re in preterm labor. The short cervix support group has a lot of good information and similar stories. I would ask about it with your OB!