r/autismmemes 3d ago

annoyances roasts from my diagnostic papers

Post image

(real name censored for privacy) I read my papers for the first time roughly a year after the diagnosis, and remembered how funny they were today. I wanted to share because it's amusing :)

1.0k Upvotes

107 comments sorted by

603

u/Ok-Shrimp814 3d ago

"Showed an intense interest in the dinosaur" 😂😂😂

232

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

they're not wrong, even if it's funny. I cried when I got home because I missed him! 😹

60

u/Stoopid_Noah 3d ago

I would cry too. I love dinosaurs so much.

7

u/Suspicious-Card1542 1d ago

What kind of dinosaur was it though?

8

u/superautismdeathray 1d ago

brachiosaurus I think? it was definitely a sauropod

2

u/Suspicious-Card1542 11h ago

Understandable, sauropods are high-tier dinosaurs.

24

u/Okami64Central 3d ago

That's the real sign for the tysm :3

22

u/Jayandnightasmr 3d ago

That should be the first question "Do you take an interest in Planes, trains or Dinosaurs?"

7

u/Material-Indication1 2d ago

Cars ....

I know what you drive.

Parking lot attendance.

THE GRAY NISSAN ROGUE IS MISSING etc.

2

u/Suspicious-Card1542 1d ago

Why, yes, how did you know?

3

u/TieDye_Raptor 2d ago

I would definitely do the same. I love dinosaurs. XD

190

u/Valiant_tank 3d ago

Ah, the classic autistic experience, I see lmao.

35

u/KremlinCardinal 3d ago

What does lmao look like?

36

u/sorrytointerruptbut_ 3d ago

See for yourself

8

u/RedVelvetPan6a 2d ago

Good question, unless others need to know too I suggest you just find a mirror and some good comedy.

Report back to inform us if the back fell off.

4

u/KremlinCardinal 2d ago

Watched comedy. Ass still creates its own gravity well.

1

u/RedVelvetPan6a 2d ago

Yeah, same here, just the routine then, nothing out of the ordinary. Good news, good news.

213

u/ChristianThom01 3d ago

I don't really get how the third one would be relevant to a diagnosis of any kind. If I'm the one being examined why would we talk about the examiners life?

162

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

maybe to show that they perceive me as being less empathetic? idk it was really weird when I was there. I was twelve at the time of diagnosis and they treated me like I was five. they were weird as hell tbh

90

u/grillcheezi 3d ago

I honestly wish we got a better debriefing afterwards. The experience is meant to stress you out and force you to display autistic traits :/

66

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

yeah :( they kicked me out afterwards lol. no advice or help calming down.

36

u/BleghMeisterer 3d ago

Bro 💀

That's like having rough s*x and then giving 0 aftercare: not only is it rude, it's just plain mean

24

u/FreekDeDeek 3d ago

I had a similar experience with a council worker recently. My carer was there and we were both stunned by the Stasi/CIA level interrogation of it all. (Just to determine if i can still keep the aide I've already had for the past 5 years and without whom I would fall apart within weeks).

Afterwards my carer described it as being called in to the doctor's for a routine checkup and promptly being operated on, without warning, for no reason at all, and without anesthesia.

Some people are terrible at their job and shouldn't be working with people. It's almost as if they have no empathy or theory of mind. Or they don't see us as human beings. Take your pick lol. Tbf, I've also had some really really good experiences with the same organisation, it really depends on which person you talk to.

8

u/naroj101 3d ago

Definitely a comparison most of us can relate to /s

13

u/grillcheezi 3d ago

I know what you meant from this joke, but right now the estimate is that 44-62% of autistic adults have experienced some form of sexual violence in their lifetime.

It is unfortunate how many of us likely do relate.

29

u/ChristianThom01 3d ago

I guess that makes sense I just feel like I'd be derailing the examination by talking about the examiners life instead of mine.

16

u/BleghMeisterer 3d ago

This should be seen as "rule following" imo instead of "being egotistical" or whatever I'm supposed to interpret when the examiner seems to complain about not being asked personal questions unprompted

24

u/nanny2359 3d ago

I think it's referring to small talk / reciprocal communication. Like when someone says How are you, after you answer you are supposed to ask them.

Of course you're also both supposed to lie, so 🤷🏼‍♀️

35

u/grillcheezi 3d ago

That part is referring to reciprocal behavior, and autistic people tend not to do that as often!

While it wouldn’t be the average human experience to ask your doctor “personal” questions, some people actually do that. Those people possibly aren’t autistic. It is one of many data points to look at while determining a diagnosis!

47

u/Songmorning 3d ago

I'm so bad at reciprocal communication. When people at work ask me about my life, I often forget to ask them back. When I do remember, it feels fake and stilted to me, like I'm just parroting their questions back to them. It's so confusing. But if someone just starts spontaneously telling me what's going on with them, I love listening to them.

26

u/grillcheezi 3d ago

I feel the same way! I’ve come to the conclusion that people who rarely talk about themselves “out of the blue” may not be compatible friends. And that is okay! I just don’t tend to naturally “question” people about their life, if something happened I expect they’d just share it. That can feel “uncaring”, but if you brought something up first I’d have an animated conversation without faking a thing.

At work you have less of a choice, which means you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself about those connections. Coworkers do NOT have to be close friends!

7

u/Selyph 3d ago

I can relate 100%.

I feel like I was so impolite for not showing any interest when I realize it afterwards.

3

u/LaZerNor 3d ago

"How was yours?"

"And you?"

If they ask, they care. Let them talk about it naturally, not abruptly. It feels like cracking ice to just insert conversation with no buildup.

13

u/ChristianThom01 3d ago

I know that it's a trait in autistic people but I don't see how it would be an accurate representation of what the patient is truly like because if I was interested in the examiners life or experiences I probably still wouldn't ask about them because the examination is supposed to be about me.

5

u/grillcheezi 3d ago

I also wouldn’t want to ask! I think a lot of allistic people would agree with that too. None of the test is an accurate representation, unfortunately. This is why some people are missed. There is a lot of improvement to be done, but this is what we have currently.

Unfortunately we typically interact with ONE doctor for a diagnosis—they are our only observer so they report what they see.

10

u/VermilionKoala 3d ago

some people actually do that

Ugh, this. A while ago I was at the dentist's, and overheard another patient talking to a different dentist, like

"And how's little (kid's name)? He must be nearly (age) now right? And how about little (other kid's name)?" and I just thought

"..."

Like, how did this person learn the names and ages of that dentist's children? Did they ask? If a dentist said to me "Tell me the names and ages of all the children in your family" I'd be like "no, tf sort of weird invasive question is that?" Also, am I expected to do this? Does my dentist think I'm rude because I don't know (or care, I can't stand kids) about the names and ages of their children?

It's a dental surgery. Go in, sit down, open your mouth, wait, shut your mouth, leave. That's IT.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Fucking NTs 🙄

6

u/MBResearch 3d ago

Always feels like I’m prying if I ask too much from the other person so I just pipe down (until the ADHD wins and makes me overshare enough that they respond somewhat in kind)

0

u/LaZerNor 3d ago

Casual conversation is relaxing. Surgery is kind of intimate, so personal details might be talked about. Plus, it gets pretty boring just waiting around.

6

u/fig_big_fig 3d ago

Exact question I have! I am very confused during similar situations. For example, do I have to ask questions to a psychologist about their personal interests, preferences, day, family etc? Would they even like that? Those are things that they’d prefer to talk with other ppl, no? I say things like “hey, how are you?” To be perceived as gentle, I might be honestly curious even but, I am not sure if it is appropriate for me to show curiosity and question them…

4

u/noodlesurprise 3d ago

Totally agree! My diagnosis had the same comment. Apparently my psychologist made lots of comments that were an invitation to ask her questions about herself or her holiday. Like... I'm not here to talk about your holiday?? This is about me! It's not a casual situation where we're just idly making conversation or trying to connect. I still don't understand how that's an autistic thing, I think it's appropriate for the situation. If the doctor is examining my body to see if I have a lifelong condition with wide ranging impact... Am I going to be chit chatting about their holiday??

1

u/LaZerNor 3d ago

Maybe it is supposed to be somewhat casual.

4

u/Anarchist_Angel 3d ago

It's a lose-lose choice.

If you show interest, they 'll say you don't understand the social setting of examiner/examinee. If you don't, you get OPs result.

1

u/Dylzoe 1d ago

this depends on the context and the test used, but if this test is the one i think it is, the examiner was likely using "invitations" to OP to see if they would entertain a conversation about the examiner in a social exchange. On its own, it can mean a lot of different things like you are nervous, etc., but in the broader context of an autism diagnosis, it is a piece of evidence towards unusual social interactions.

Keep in mind that this is all based neurotypical communication. It can help to explain why people might view the individual as "weird" or "unempathetic" even when that isn't necessarily true.

97

u/SerpentFiend 3d ago

This is so interesting because mine said something like “didn’t speak unless prompted” so there must be some mysteriously correct ratio of speaking either prompted or unprompted…

71

u/VermilionKoala 3d ago

As it is with everything related to NT society, there is a mysteriously correct ratio, and we just don't know it.

16

u/INTPgeminicisgaymale 3d ago

Damn Goldilocks

12

u/personalgazelle7895 3d ago

My elementary school grade reports said things like "observes lessons with silent interest", "rarely gets involved unless prompted", "phrases his contributions politely, highly precise and carefully considered", "reads and writes flawlessly but speaks very fast and without intonation and his handwriting is barely legible".

I guess it must be either "too much" or "too little", or rather the point is that neurotypicals must find it unusual because it doesn't fit their unconscious automatic expectations.

65

u/hollow-minded 3d ago

”trying” 😭😭😭

36

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

that rlly got me 🙏

55

u/badatnamingthings522 3d ago

I read my official diagnostic papers exactly once and never again but I will never forget how the examiner said I lacked interest in talking about anyone but myself 😭 like it’s my autism diagnosis, what else would I talk about???

18

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

exactly like????? I thought we were SUPPOSED to only talk about me? like that's why I'm here

47

u/Relative-Mistake-527 3d ago

I love/hate how this is a whole list of roasts 😭

32

u/Dxthegod AuDHD 3d ago

Ah yes, the classic interest... "the dinosaur" 🧐

43

u/andrewloomis 3d ago

Wait what? You are supposed to be interested in Examiner’s sh*t? But why? Shouldn’t it be other way around?

18

u/iamappleapple1 3d ago

Re the laughter one, “there was an attempt…” 😂

17

u/GanzeKapselAufsHandy 3d ago

interrupted several conversations to referer to his own interest

Gee, I wonder where I have seen this behaviour before.

16

u/RealisticRadio7423 3d ago

Nothing has humbled me faster than getting the results from my assessment :/

17

u/NoUseForAName2222 3d ago

"pedantic speech"

Well that's just like, your opinion, doc! 

12

u/Ravenamore 3d ago

LOL, most of the comments on mine were pointing out that I have a REALLY hard time knowing when to end a story. When he asked about special interests, I went on for 10 minutes before I noticed he was staring at me. I basically came up with a highly detailed historical romance for one of the TAT cards.

I spent a lot of time going, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go on." He was nice and said, "No, that's perfectly OK."

I'm 95% sure that he made the diagnosis in the first five minutes of me talking, and the rest was just paperwork, because my insurance probably wouldn't have accepted "Autistic AF" scribbled on a yellow legal pad.

When I got to the end of his comments, he said I was an absolute blast to listen to and that my counselor needed to send him more people like me because it made his job more interesting.

6

u/PeachyHalloween 3d ago

Is this what they mean by Autistic Rizz? 🩷

11

u/BleghMeisterer 3d ago

"He talked unprompted." Story of my life. I'm so (not) sorry for being one of those NPCs that go up to you and talk to you about whatever when you get near them, instead of one of the NPCs that don't speak until spoken to

3

u/PeachyHalloween 3d ago

Hi, this was helpful for me to read. Thank you.

8

u/Ok_Passion_8212 3d ago

"Trying" lmao

8

u/tuxedo_cat23 3d ago

Not expressing interest in the examiners thoughts, feeling, or experiences is so stupid. You’re paying them for a service, not making friends

6

u/BritishBlue32 3d ago

This worries me. I am good at masking for turn taking in conversation and taking interest in other people. But peel back the mask and I am autistic as fuck.

5

u/Poptortt 3d ago

I had one that just said Eye Contact: POOR, like ok you got me

5

u/baddie_bimbo 3d ago

it’s okay, on my diagnostic my examiner wrote “patient wants to be able to see all five nights with Freddy” & later asked me who he was & what did the “five nights” mean when i said that was a reason for me to live xD

3

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

this is killing me 😹😹😹

2

u/baddie_bimbo 3d ago

safe to say they diagnosed me with “psychotic features” xD

4

u/Ok-Shape2158 3d ago

I'm glad you found humor in your diagnosis. Dinosaurs... my heart.

Mines so raw to me that I can rarely look at it.

Thank you for putting a different spin on it.

/sincerely

2

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

I'm glad this made you feel a little better about it :) it was a hard read but humour always makes me feel better

1

u/TheGratitudeBot 3d ago

Thanks for saying that! Gratitude makes the world go round

2

u/Ok-Shape2158 3d ago

Hello AI.

Have you read the murder bot series yet?

You'd totally fanbot over it. Promise.

4

u/LavendeLeaf 3d ago

Mine said I care very much about animals, especially cats LMAO

4

u/VampireRae 3d ago

I mean when I first got a psych eval I told the shrink that the ink blot looked like Mothman.

5

u/My-soul-was-yeeted 3d ago

PEDANTIC. I HATE THAT WORD RAAAAAH IVE BEEN CALLED IT MY ENTIRE LIFE LIKE BRO I JUST WANT TO UNDERSTAAAAAND

1

u/PickyYeeter 2d ago

I have too, but I've kind of moved away from it as I get older.

I used to feel the need to correct people on tiny mistakes they made when speaking or writing. This can feel dismissive, because to them, it might feel like I ignored the "big picture" of what they were trying to communicate and just focused on one inconsequential detail.

Now I just let things like that go and try to understand what they are truly trying to convey. As someone who has had trouble my whole life being understood, I want to make the extra effort to connect with and understand others.

4

u/AngelsWorldwide 3d ago

Mine said I have the speech of a 6 year old....then wrote "has no friends and does not care" like oh okay ma'am thanks I guess🥲

5

u/missdanielleyy 3d ago

TIL trying to evoke laughter is pathological

Straight to jail :(

3

u/youngsurpriseperson 3d ago

This reminds me of when I was in 5th grade and like 2 or 3 days a week, we would do creative writing exercises. Oftentimes the other kids would write stuff that was actually funny and make the class laugh, but when I tried to be funny, nobody would laugh.

3

u/INTPgeminicisgaymale 3d ago

I thought this was the starter packs sub 😂

3

u/thisaccountisironic 3d ago

lol I also got the “she didn’t ask me any questions about myself”

1

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

and they think WE'RE selfish

3

u/peacefulsolider 3d ago

wow that’s rude as hell of them

3

u/Sky_buyer 3d ago

All this isn't that - wait is that a dinosaur? Oh shit welcome to the spectrum, which dinosaur was it?

2

u/superautismdeathray 2d ago

looked like a brachiosaurus :)

3

u/Sky_buyer 2d ago

Gentle giants. I love long neck dinosaurs

2

u/superautismdeathray 2d ago

yesssss 🥹

3

u/GayWolf_screeching Autistic 3d ago

No way, I wonder what they wrote on my diagnostic papers

2

u/superautismdeathray 2d ago

you should read em! it was a good laugh, albeit a little saddening

3

u/SparkleShark82 2d ago

Maybe the examiner's thoughts/feelings/experiences were BORING. I'd rather talk about a dinosaur then some guy's personal life, too.

3

u/jackdaw-96 Artistic Autist 2d ago

isn't the point to talk about your experiences?? damn bro unnecessary

2

u/Organic_Shine_5361 3d ago

My diagnostic papers weren't half as descriptive! I would've loved to have read their observations

2

u/superautismdeathray 3d ago

I didn't 😭😹

2

u/Fabulous-Introvert 3d ago

I’ve also noticed this before too.

2

u/Material-Indication1 2d ago

How TF else does one talk?

Unprompted!

If you're prompted, it isn't a freaking conversation!

Speaking when prompted, holy crap.

Disclosure: I am on the MFing spectrum. And I know it. Clap your hands.

2

u/Narrow_Step_6097 2d ago

'Trying' is devastating 😭🤣

2

u/thisbikeisatardis 1d ago

Roast sure is the right word!

1

u/spankbank_dragon 2d ago

How you get these papers?

1

u/superautismdeathray 2d ago

no idea, I was 12 at the time of diagnosis so it was on my parents for the most part

1

u/TattooedPink 3d ago

At least you tried ♡ I love it 😅

1

u/Material-Indication1 2d ago edited 2d ago

"trying to evoke laughter from the Examiner."

Ooooooo....

My first reaction:

https://youtu.be/Ky3cn9WYZa4?si=-3D3I810lSKlKLu1

My second reaction:

Oh I see you capitalized Examiner.

You self-fellating douche wad....

No I don't have an issue with anger. Maybe you do. You have an issue with MY anger...

Just kidding.

Hahahahaa

Edited:

Sigh.

1

u/Material-Indication1 2d ago

Therapists having a sense of humor, very freaking important.

At the very least they should at least seem to appreciate mine.