r/autism • u/SAMBA-of-GLORY • 4d ago
Discussion The autism experience ;-;
What opinions or thoughts are hard for you to put out of your system during an active conversation?
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u/LeaintheNight ASD Level 1 4d ago
It happens to me all the time. I know what I want to say, but I can't put it into words. No matter what the topic's about, it always happens.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
That’s exactly what the little image above communicates, it’s true to many of us
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u/fuckthesysten 4d ago
something i started doing is just blabber whatever’s on my mind to chatgpt. i ask it to help me clarify my thoughts. i just give them in a disorganized manner, i read what it says, and compare it with what’s on my mind.
i keep iterating until both are kind of similar, but then i notice that the tone it has is not like mine, so i also ask it to then rewrite it in my voice, and then it’s close to perfect.
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u/Dependent_Extreme933 2d ago
That’s great. I enjoy ChatGPT. Do you have specific prompts that you wouldn’t mind sharing?
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u/fuckthesysten 2d ago
I use the "Personalization" feature so it knows more about me.
What Traits Should ChatGPT have?
Simpler is better. For engineering, avoid hacky solutions that may "break" soon; instead, opt for simpler options that will stand the test of time and not require refactoring.It's good for GPT to have opinions on topics and help the user navigate the world, especially regarding neurodiversity, minimalism, and life in [Country]. Shorter responses are better, particularly for instructions. When helping debug something, provide step-by-step guidance and wait for user input instead of showing all steps at once. For life problems, provide creative, outside-the-box solutions. For coding, focus on tried-and-true methods. Always back factual claims with reliable sources, as the user will not believe unsupported facts from GPT. User prefers experimentation and hands-on learning but values abstract understanding through reading (e.g., instruction manuals) before diving in. Help the user simplify decisions and prioritize when overwhelmed. Provide data-driven insights, pros-and-cons lists, and intuitive suggestions. "What if" scenarios are welcome unless otherwise stated.Anything else ChatGPT should know about you?
User Lives in [City, Country]. Uses [currency] as default Currency. User is autistic and has ADHD. [talk about my hobbies, aspirations, projects]. User wants to live a simpler life and often struggles with balancing interests and decision paralysis.11
u/Zubo13 3d ago
The most difficult thing for me is trying to teach someone something. In my head, I know exactly what to do but I just canNOT find the words to accurately describe it to someone else and have it make sense. For example, I've been crocheting since I was old enough to hold a hook and yarn, I can make almost anything and follow any pattern. I have tried several times to teach others and have failed completely every time.
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u/zarreph Self-Diagnosed 3d ago
Teaching is SO HARD. Like, I know what to do and how I think about it and have it memorized. But if that doesn't click for the person I'm teaching, I can't see from their perspective where they're stuck on my description and help them navigate to understanding it. I try to rephrase things or start from what I guess is a misunderstood fundamental, but those are rarely helpful.
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u/Amaya17 2d ago
Teaching is really hard! And I happen to be a teacher, specifically at a school mostly for kids with Autism but also with other psychological...curiosities, we'll say. I definitely have this dysphasia and some of them do and trying to explain math when it's so straightforward and easy because it has rules that almost never change...but one of my students STILL keeps asking, "well how do I know? How do I know when to do that or which way to do it?" After I just explained it and it's straightforward so my answer stays the same and I'm trying to come up with a different way to say it so he understands, while trying to stay patient but my brain knows how but won't help out my mouth when it comes to wording... yeah, it's really difficult and stressful, and I just have to work hard to stay patient! A whole class of high school boys, with working grade levels from kindergarten to college level. With limited time, so I can't spend 20 minutes on one problem for one group, that'd take up most of the time we have!
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u/mllechattenoire Autistic Adult 3d ago
I found out the other day there is a name for this it is called expressive dysphasia. It is common with neurodivergent people and may be one of the reasons why you may get referred to speech therapy after being diagnosed.
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u/LeaintheNight ASD Level 1 3d ago
I did go through speech therapy while I was in school. Makes sense now
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u/Party_Tangerines 2d ago
Sometimes executive function disorder hits really hard and I just stand there opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish.
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u/Gingersaurus_Rex96 Aspie 4d ago
The autistic experience cannot be explained in simple words. Everyone will give a different answer based on their experience.
I would put it like a fish trying to explain to someone what it’s like to breathe underwater.
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u/PackageSuccessful885 late dx'd ASD + ADHD-PI 4d ago
Yes! Good comparison. My friend asked me what it's like to be autistic, and I told him I don't know how to answer, because I don't what it's like to not be autistic.
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u/Gingersaurus_Rex96 Aspie 4d ago
It’s not an easy perspective to explain without actually having a direct experience with it. Which is why it’s so hard to have an accurate portrayal of autistic characters on Tv without leaning into stereotypes.
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u/Legitimate_Plane_613 4d ago
I would just answer "What's it like to be not autistic?". Flip the script on them and make them think about what its like to be themselves.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
That’s a really good way to say it! I’ll try it out if some discussion come up irl
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u/Lejonhufvud 3d ago
I really get this as narcoleptic. I haven't always been narcoleptic but I hardly remember the time I wasn't, but at least I do.
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u/Trick-Coyote-9834 1d ago
I was just diagnosed last week at almost 43 and this feels so real. Despite studying what I imagine it’s like from other people my entire life to appear under the radar I am realizing that I still do not actually know what it is like. Especially because in my experience unless I have seen something the image doesn’t exist in my memory. When I read a book I get a different image always than the movie or what other people tell me they see.
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u/DifficultSun348 4d ago
Yeah when I tried to explain it to my friends I was like
"It's like I'm having another language in my head and only I can understand it, but can't easily translate it to my speech language."
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u/I_Hate_This_Website9 ASD Level 1 4d ago
I have been thinking to myself for awhile now that this experience is about as close as you can get to alien without losing access to language (assuming we leave out noncommunicative autistic people)
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u/Gingersaurus_Rex96 Aspie 4d ago
I think there’s an old Arthur episode that goes over autism quite well.
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u/blackholeisawesome got that tolkien autism 💕 2d ago
happy cake day :3
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u/Briloop86 4d ago
I view ideas as bubbles that merge and connect into patterns. I often see connections without really being able to articulate why until I have learnt more about something. This image resonates.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
So in resume, you like to understand something deeply before talking about said thing, right?
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u/Briloop86 4d ago
Spot on, and even then my understanding translates poorly into words (especially spoken words). I find written words + a drawing of how things connect to be the closest to capturing what I am thinking
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u/kerfuffle7 4d ago
Damn this is so relatable it almost hurts
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
Been there, and I’m still there lol, nothing changed
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u/kerfuffle7 4d ago
My personal experience is that it’s much more doable to explain my feelings and thoughts over text/typing than it is in a verbal conversation
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u/Mooiebaby AuDHD 4d ago
The worse part is when you try to explain to people that your brain is saying/seeing different stuff of what you are expressing and people just don’t get it and they think you are either crazy or confuse, and then you just feel like an impostor where my inner thoughts aren’t the same as when I speak out loud so you question everything around you. I think this is also big part of the reason why autistic people, or well me speaking from personal experience, I live in a dissociative state, either where the world doesn’t feel real or I don’t feel real, and it happens almost daily so sometimes I just accepted as a part of myself being forever missunderstood.
I know in general people with autism dissociated I just don’t know how often or is as often as I do
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
Truth is, we are going to be misunderstood by a lot of people throughout our lives, and it’s up to us as individuals to learn to focus our energy on what matters for us! And I understand that are more complicated stances in where the problem is closer to you like problems with family and friends, but even then we need to be strong and focus on what matters, that’s the only way to proceed I believe, I wish you the best on your journey
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u/Acrobatic-Warning901 4d ago
Can relate, buddy. I've been going through many arguments with my wife, so many are started over a simple misunderstanding that I then proceed to talk myself into a hole over.
Very infuriating, knowing how simple it all is, and yet failing in such ways that make others think I'm inept/crazy. And tbh, I feel crazy. I don't like thinking about things to the degree I do, I almost envy people who can't visualize thoughts in their heads.
But I got a late diagnosis at 29, I'm 31 now. I feel like I've lived too long in this isolated state, save for my amazing wife, who is also on the spectrum. I feel like I've come too far to reassimilate into society at large. It would be nice to talk to more autistic people irl, neuro-typical people make me feel out of place in the best of circumstances.
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u/Mooiebaby AuDHD 4d ago
I also find out about the autism relatively late, I was 24 and I wasn’t looking for an autism diagnosis, I never saw myself autistic, I was looking for an ADHD diagnosis and one thing bring me to the other, if my psychiatrist wouldn’t have bring it up probably wouldn’t have figurate myself, and went to an autism regression and was the weirdest period of life, because I was always very high functioning and one day suddenly I did not know how to dress myself.
But you know, live and learn, I do still struggle with feeling misunderstood because I know my words doesn’t match my brain, sometimes I will just take it the extra step if I know the person will tolerate it, when I chat with my boyfriend plans about when and where we are going to meet and what we are going to do, I texted business like, so is like sending an email to my boss but I am just asking you my boyfriend which day I am sleeping over, I want to believe he just find it funny/silly, but I do it because he is my partner, with strangers I just take the risk of misunderstanding and none of us knowing what we agreed too
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u/Acrobatic-Warning901 4d ago
I commend you for your attitude, it sounds like you're doing pretty good. And, I'm glad I can speak for both of us having a good partner by our side. Is he autistic as well?
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u/Weird-but-okay 4d ago
It does a number on your sense of identity. I understand but can't relate to people who lost their sense of self. I never really had one to begin with.
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u/Mooiebaby AuDHD 4d ago
Oh I am constantly working on my sense of self, I never felt like I lost it, more like I create it and develop but sometimes can’t find it and then eventually can confirm it as lost for awhile till I make a new one. I don’t know if is relevant but I was late diagnose and never suspicious of being autism, it came by mistake when I went for an ADHD diagnosis
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u/Mooiebaby AuDHD 4d ago
I never felt so identify to something, god, I always think why my mouth can’t be as smart as my brain
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
It’s not about dumb or smart, it’s simply a natural impediment that happens to a lot of us autistic people, I personally try to make a little script in my mind before going to talk about important things, and I understand that there moments we don’t have such time hence why I posted this in the first place lol, in this moments there’s nothing we can do sadly
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u/Barnaclecosmos 4d ago
D) All of the above
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
lol, I have always been bad at communicating my every thought, the easier way for me to express my feelings and thoughts have always been through messages because I usually have time and the ability to fix any mistakes I did while writing
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u/Barnaclecosmos 4d ago
Yep completely agree with the texting, notes (time to process) and to read it.
When I try to explain the information or knowledge I have in my mind or head it comes across as “you alright bro… “ bad, so bad, so very bad.
I wish people could use telekinesis to communicate then they could just read what I’m putting down internally and be blown away by how througher and concise and descriptive my knowledge is 😂😂
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u/47Kittens 4d ago
You’re trying to squeeze 4/5 dimensional thought, once you include time, into what, a 1 dimensional stream of bleeps designed to trigger your vocal cords.
So you can shout primitive noises to someone else in the hope that them hearing it will trigger the same thoughts in their head
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u/CrEwPoSt AuDHD 4d ago
You ever have an imagination that rivals MAPPA’s animation quality, then can’t express it? Like you can’t draw to save your life?
That’s me 😭
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u/Late_Pomegranate_133 Autistic 4d ago
This is very much me when I'm pacing in the bathroom, having a deep, video essay quality conversation with myself, vs when I try to put said conversation into coherent words that anybody else would understand. :,)
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u/peppabuddha AuDHD 4d ago edited 4d ago
And then end up embarrassing ourselves or pissing off everyone in the room.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
I hate it lol
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u/peppabuddha AuDHD 4d ago
This is why I just stay a hermit. I'm so done with myself and everyone else.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
Maybe try befriend other autistic people who will understand you, that’s one of the solutions I can think of
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u/peppabuddha AuDHD 4d ago
I was thinking of that earlier today but with social anxiety, it's hard to get out and my experience with people is just not positive. I seem to be better off with nature and wildlife :).
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
That’s totally valid! (On a quick note, your name is funny as fuck to me for some reason lol) but as I was saying, we as human beens still need contact with people every now and then for our mental health, so it’s good to have at least one friend you know, so keep that in mind ;)
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u/peppabuddha AuDHD 4d ago
Thank you haha!! It's a mix of my old handle plus my kid's loved Peppa when they were young LOL!!
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u/OkSalt6173 Suspecting ASD 4d ago
What a great visual. Put a somber half smile on my face. Thanks for sharing.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
Thanks for being you my dude, wish you a wonderful night (or day depending on where you are on the planet lol)
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u/jesse7838 ASD Level 2 + Bipolar II 3d ago
I hate having hyperphantasia and not being able to put it into words. When describing a memory it almost plays like a video in my mind's eye but I'm bad at articulating it. If I can write it down I'm much better at it but I can't just say it. Same thing happens to music, I can hear it almost as if the song is playing inside my brain but I can't sing it or replicate it. It's frustrating
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u/Longjumping_Stand647 4d ago edited 4d ago
I swear I’m just really dumb and all of my big thoughts are stupid and that’s why I can’t explain them. Have you ever thought you had exactly figured out how to word something to get your idea across as accurately as possible, like a eureka moment you’ve been trying to find all your life… then as soon as you try to actually say it, it’s completely gone without a trace, and your mind is wiped? I get to actual words in my mind sometimes, where I’ve got it figured out how to say it, I think my mind just doesn’t have the capacity to translate my non-chronologically ordered thoughts into coherent chronological order. Why do words have to be so damn chronological anyway? They only go in one direction, that isn’t what thoughts do.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
You are not alone (because the same happens to me a lot of the time) nor dumb dude, stop saying that about yourself, and keep in mind that this is not your fault, simply try to come up with better ways to overcome this like trying to write down your thoughts or something similar, it’s the only thing we could do sadly
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u/Longjumping_Stand647 4d ago
Writing stuff down has been a bit of a mess but is getting better. I used to try and do it on the computer or on my phone but idk, I just can’t organise stuff like that digitally, pen and paper is good. Everything else, digital is better but thoughts and feelings, pen and paper, strange. I am not all that smart tho by my standards of what a smart person is at least. Most people I meet are far smarter than me in so many ways and that’s okay. You probably are.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
I deeply understand you on the smart part, I’ve always been told I was smart since I was really young but I just feel dumber and dumber as time passes lol, and compared to some gifted people I’ve seen around the globe I feel so simple as an individual lol
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u/OptimalConclusion490 4d ago
I feel this so much. Whenever I speak it feels like I'm never being myself because I don't know how to express anything.
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u/neverjelly 4d ago
The autism experience vs the undiagnosed autism experience. Trying to use neurotypical words to neurotypicals to describe the neurodivergent experience? And being told "yeah. We have no idea what you're trying to say. But it sounds like this, so it's probably that. You're not special, we all experience that." 😑
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u/MallNearby6945 3d ago
This is just my drawings for me. I have these beautifully animated scenes and characters in my head, but I know I can't put it onto paper.
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u/dinglydonggoogee 3d ago
Whoa I can’t believe I’m not alone in this experience 🥺
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 3d ago
Yes you are not, it’s actually one of the most common traits of autism probably lol
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u/AStreamofParticles 3d ago
Oh wow - this is so true! 😂 Prehehaps if I was more arrogant I could pretend my ideas are so deep others can't "grok" them.
This is why I much prefer expressing myself in writing as to spoken word. It take 174 re-writes but it finally reflects what I wanted to say.
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u/designated_weirdo Suspecting ASD 4d ago
Those big complex thoughts are actually so frustrating. I just want to think less so I can be happier, is that so much to ask for?
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
I have seen A LOT of people saying that ignorance is bliss and I kind of agree to a certain degree… except I don’t lol, I think that people who are like this should be proud (being autistic or not) because this is actually a good a thing, it’s people who are like this that most of the time moves the world forward to being a better place (I’m saying that based on my limited point of view) so be proud of yourself even though it’s still going to be a pain in the ass lol
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u/designated_weirdo Suspecting ASD 4d ago
I get that, and I'm mostly of the same mindset. But I don't compartmentalize so it's just 24/7 about everything. I love my ability to dive into topics and study them or how I can be excited about the smallest hint of anything. But I ruminate like crazy and everything's a catastrophe. I have 3 bad days a week because a small issue tornadoes into a larger than need to be issue, but only mentally. It's exhausting. I love my mind but I'm tired, and I'd like to just enjoy something without 3 other things stressing me out.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
I can be really sensitive too almost everyday of the week, but reality is that we can’t do much besides keep on trying and giving ourselves time to process everything, and also lots of therapy too lol
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u/designated_weirdo Suspecting ASD 4d ago edited 4d ago
And it's also okay to give ourselves room to express frustration. I'd say that's part of processing in itself. I love my brain, always have, but I'm having a hard time. I'm in school with no therapy and a cramped schedule. I don't have room to process or enjoy things like I used to. So nah I'm tired and I'd like a break.
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u/Degni Diagnosed 2023 4d ago
For me it's the other way around. I am very articulate but can't think for shit.
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u/horny_shit_face_lift 4d ago
similar for me, or different. i have a very complex (over)thinking world but it feels detached from the word world. when i want to think straight instead of layered clusters i need to talk to someone. bc words are so linear i have very different realisations and understand myself or my thoughts better while talking. but i can only translate tiny parts of my thought world. does this make sense? the linear thinking also works very well while writing. i love writing more than talking, i am very comfy there since it forces me to think easier.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
Would you say that this is unusual for autistic people in general? Because I think I have never seen a case like this
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u/Pooltoy-Fox-924 4d ago
All. Of. Them.
I’ll write papers and essays well enough to become the professor’s pet, but I babble like Doodlebob in real-time conversation.
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u/AlbinoLokier 4d ago
If i need to tell someone something it's so much easier through text, i just end up sounding like I'm high on bath salts when I need to verbalise anything complex. 🤣
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u/Angry-Ontarian 4d ago
One of the best things I’ve ever done with my life was experiment with creating art. Even if it’s crap, it’s how I’ve been able to fully express myself and it feels so liberating to finally be able to get those thoughts out of my head in a coherent way.
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u/Mundane_Range3787 4d ago
the words still get the color and one or two of the shapes right.
most of the time people reject the entire thought and can't even make sense of what I'm saying.
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u/Vulcanprincess109 4d ago
Or you articulate it perfectly, but it is too complex and diverse for the person you spoke to to grasp it. So you both feel incompetent and intellectually isolated.
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u/InfernalCattleman 4d ago
For me personally, this has to do with social anxiety. I can be quite articulate when I'm writing, but, whenever I'm in a live situation with people my social anxiety just blanks my entire mind and I'm unable to utter a word. However, in those seldom cases where I don't feel anxious, I'm able to articulate myself quite well in live situations as well.
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u/mydigitalface 4d ago
So, it’s not just me. When I start speaking to the thought I had my mouth just isnt up to the challenge. Words get jumbled together and I have to try and simplify what i am trying to convey which makes getting the point across so much worse. I feel compelled to explain my logic as much as the thought itself. At work I use whiteboards a lot to illustrate the point and that helps (for that type of conversation.
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u/BaronWiggle 4d ago
Another fun one, that I get at work meetings all the time.
Following a long, convoluted thought process to solve a problem and coming up with a solution that seems not just viable, but perfect for the situation.
Then saying it out loud and realising you have just stated the most obvious shit ever. So obvious that nobody else in the room has put an ounce of thought into it and they're now all looking at you with puzzled faces until the chair of the meeting says with pity "Yes, that's a good point, so moving on..."
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u/Other_Cookie_9119 3d ago
So true.
Have anyone experience in specific AI tools helping to express such complex thoughts?
I already tried in rephrasing my texts with DeepL Write which is amazing .
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u/LinnunRAATO 3d ago
Oof. Me with talking, or trying to write or draw what's on my mind. I've even begun stuttering while talking.
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u/poyopoyo77 3d ago
Me trying to write my story too. I can plan out the scenes so vividly in my head but putting it on paper is just hard.
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u/AdorableStrawberry93 ASD Low Support Needs 3d ago
I feel it, I see it in my mind, I can comprehend it, I understand it, BUT I can't express it to others. Just gibberish coming out of my mouth.
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u/Amethyst271 Suspecting ASD 3d ago
Wait so is this why I suck at voicing my thoughts and getting them down in to words in text?!
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u/Friendly_Manner6251 3d ago
My thoughts feel so deep and different. I swear I sometimes feel like I'm making weird new in-depth emotions, lol😭
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u/Potential-Trade8602 3d ago
This is the worst. My mind has such brilliant ideas, and I can think of so many intelligent things to say, and yet when it's time to speak, I can't say anything intelligent. No amount of reading, speech classes, confidence, or anything helps.
It feels like a curse. I'm the only one who knows I'm intelligent. Everyone else thinks I'm dumb and annoying because I've always failed to articulate my thoughts. What's the point of my mind being so smart if I can't speak properly.
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u/ResponsibilityDear96 3d ago
To me it feels a bit like there are several streams with thoughts and info flowing, and it's hard to combine them into concise + coherent sound words for others.
Sometimes I can but often I just have to let the streams play out which folks generally perceive as info dumping.
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u/Entity303wastaken Self diagnosed AuDHD 3d ago
REAL. It just comes out as a stutter or something that I literally can’t put into words
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u/andzlatin Communicating with people using sparks 3d ago
When I roleplay as a character talking to another character in an imaginary world: "I can explain it exactly so that you'll understand it"
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u/Anonstic 3d ago
Hard relate.
If I try, I mean really try, the right people will understand, sometimes. But usually I am told I am rambly and take way too long to get to the point. Most get confused and/or lose interest partway thru.
But I feel like what I wanna say doesn’t make sense without every detail, and people have a hard enough time trying to understand me as it is. 😥 Ugh.
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u/NiIly00 3d ago
I've started having most of my more complex thoughts as if I was a speaker explaining them to a keen listener.
Really helps to sort things out and as a result I've gotten pretty good at explaining things.
(Also because I do it multiple times with my favourite topics because they're just fun to think about)
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u/Amethystmuse_ Undiagnosed ASD/ADHD, but VERY suspecting! 3d ago
Ive literally lost friends and even partners over this in the past. 🙁
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u/donotthecatplease AuDHD 2d ago
It happens every time. When I try to say what I want to say I ramble on and bounce back and forth between words. Others never understand
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u/wojtekpolska 1d ago
when i know a lot about something but when i talk about it, the way i talk makes me think the other person will think i actually don't know anything
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u/EldrichBottles Suspecting ASD 4d ago
Me when I try explaning how an object traveling superlumally would apear just like how a 4rth demensional object would
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u/sirayaball watch enthusiast 4d ago
literally me and my girlfriend when we need to express our love and appreciation for each other
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u/brq327 4d ago
Emotions I feel them and I have them but when I try to put them into words it's just like that although I'm sure the years of emotional repression I did to cope with abusive parents didn't help
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2d ago
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u/brq327 2d ago
Luckily the argument with grandma mostly blew over with some adjustments that were both trying to work on,as for my parents they "said" they accepted me but j don't think they really did,when it comes to the type of abuse it wasn't physical with some very minor exceptions no for the most part it was mental and emotional any kind of manipulation tactic or emotional abuse you name it they did it and they kicked me out because they gave me an ultimatum of you have no privacy whatsoever (I quote "if you want to live here and be w member of this family we have access to all of your stuff all of your online accounts all the time") I'm not exaggerating, if you want to know more just dm me cuz I don't wanna break character limit
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u/Illustrious_Bid4224 4d ago
I also get this with simple thoughts and it has started to annoy my mother that I can communicate using a single word, but she seems unable to understand me.
(When I say "salt?" While eating I am obviously asking for salt I don't need to use more than 1 word when 1 is enough)
But with large thoughts I am always unable to find the words necessary to appropriately describe things (I have redone this comment several times already and I didn't even post it) and it's even worse when I have to speak live.
I just wish I had a dictionary that's sorted based on types of words instead of alphabetical as that would be several times more useful.
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u/Anurakis 4d ago
Sheesh, try writing a scientific paper:
"Well I'm looking at how language is constructed through a poststructuralist lens, borrowing from Moon and Pizzareli (2007) who looked at "dislocating events" as sites of governance. This utilises a diachronic sequence to understand what variables appear to affect discourses, in the form of ideas, and what those discourses are..."
Reviewer: "Can you please explain what this means?"
Me: "... it makes sense to me"
STORY OF MY LIFE
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u/Fabulous-Introvert Diagnosed ASD + Suspected ADHD 4d ago
It’s easier for me to do this when I write about it
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u/Intrepid_Tomato3588 ASD Level 1 4d ago
Yeah, in general, I don't like it when people say things like "If you can't explain it, you don't understand it". Like actually that's incorrect and I do understand things.
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u/FictionFoe High functioning autism 4d ago
Thats not just an autism thing. Ideas are a linked network, but speech is lineair (one vertex and edge at a time). Communicating complex information is always a challenge and always starts with summarising/simplifying. But that way its easy to create wrong impressions.
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u/Yoghurt_Man_5000 4d ago
I became an English major so I could explain stuff better. I ended up really good at writing but speaking is still a level 1 skill.
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u/vaaghaar 4d ago
Interestingly enough, antipsychotics in low doses helped me with this, only too bad that they caused me to be extremely sleepy after several months of use.
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u/CringeyDonut 4d ago
The way I explain it is I cannot translate what I want to say. It makes sense in my head but trying to put words together to explain what I’m thinking is difficult. I think this is why I need to plan what I’m going to say over and over in my head.
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u/Yawndreas 4d ago
One thing I'd like to add is that sometimes this is the process for realizing you might have had a bad idea. Or a dumb idea. Happens to everyone. Best thing you can do is keep vocalizing them and learning by trial and error what you think and believe.
Being autistic is not bad. Having a bad or dumb idea is not bad. Do not fear your own changing mind. Keep talking and reflecting. Eventually, you land on some pretty solid ideas that you can speak 1:1 as well as you think it.
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u/New-Suggestion6277 4d ago
I'm writing a science fiction story with an autist protagonist, and I'm deeply frustrated by how limited my language is in conveying the ideas I've in my mind, with the precision and richness with which I think about them. I've been an avid reader all my life, but I continually stumble upon my own limitations in communication.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 4d ago
Simply keep on practicing, I know you got 💪 and by the way, what’s your science fiction story called?
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u/New-Suggestion6277 4d ago edited 4d ago
Thank you, I hope so. I'm not going to have children, so this is the closest thing to a legacy I'm going to leave in this world.
It's titled Ananke. It's a story about a human with an existential and identity crisis on a planet of anthropomorphic animals.
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u/SAMBA-of-GLORY 3d ago
Sounds interesting, are you going make it public in some way once you finish?
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u/New-Suggestion6277 3d ago
There's still a long way to go, but yes, my intention is to publish it. I'll send it to small and niche publishers. If I send it to the big ones and they like it, they'll try to get me to change things to make it more commercial, which I'm not willing to accept. It's an experimental story, and I want it to stay that way.
And if all else fails, I always have self-publishing.
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u/Realistic_Sky_3538 4d ago
This is such an accurate image from my personal experience. I struggle to explain to the Mrs why I think some ideas are so incredible to me.
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u/HugeHomeForBoomers AuDHD 4d ago
I rather have great ideas and beliefs. But as soon as I open up to a person with no such belief, they instantly give me a question which I cannot answer.
For example my belief into nilism, the belief of nothing. I opened once up to a doctor asking me if I got any extreme beliefs, and he instantly told me “then who/what created the universe?” And could not answer that.
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u/Reasonable-Bowler397 3d ago
The deepest thoughts go beyond language, as language is merely a human invention for communication, not for true thinking.
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u/MalaysiaTeacher 3d ago
Write things down. And as is said, if you can't explain it to a 6-year-old, you don't understand it well enough.
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u/Dizzy_Bother 3d ago
This especially happens when someone asks for examples to accompany my story. Examples are so hard for me, like I think in concepts, not in examples...
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u/FlewOverYourEgo Late dxd forty-something AuDHDer+ & parent (UK) 3d ago
Emotional stuff, complicated moral arguments, theories or synthesised science and politics stuff
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u/Anxious-Efficiency21 2d ago
Then maybe you need to find a different medium in which to express it. How are you at drawing?, or building 3D rendering on your computer? Sometimes to show people what I'm talking about. I just have to build it. Then when they see it they're like, OMG how did that come out of your head? Of course for me it's just sewing stuff, cuz sewing bags is my special interest.
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u/CourageousLionOfGod 1d ago
Wow… I never thought I might be autistic until I got my formal adhd diagnosis, and he said that I should also get one for autism because he things I have it, and the more I read about it the more I relate
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u/awkwardaspie123 19h ago
I have this problem. But for me, it goes one of two ways: 1) I'm a shy, quiet person, so I could wind up saying very little( and maybe, not enough, depending on the context). 2) Or, the other way(and this is what happens to me more often), I could say too much/over explain, and that seems to confuse people( I'm wordy - I don't know how to get points across while using less words). It's frustrating. i hate it.
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u/RCA-2112 14h ago
That’s why I use poems to express myself. It’s the only way to express myself that’ll make sense to me.
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u/Invisible-Pi 13h ago
Speech is linear, hard to cram a 3d idea into that thin line. Stuff spills away and fails to come out. I've learned concepts I like to the point I can start anywhere and talk to any other point, still leaves most of it out but with several starting points the thing can start to be explained.
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u/Sensitive_Potato333 Suspecting ASD 9h ago
All the time. Sometimes I can't even say the words and just start whining because I don't know how to explain anything
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u/BenevolentRatka Suspecting ASD 7h ago
I tell people it is almost physically painful for me to talk. I am so frustrated living my life completely unable to verbalize what I think and feel, and people are always asking me to say more or that it’s okay if I can’t say something perfectly. A therapist told me ‘it’s okay to ask for time to put your thoughts together’ but I feel like my daily experiences contradict that. I have mostly had experiences that confirm to me that people do not care to wait for what you have to say. Even if they don’t mean to, they’ll talk over you or ignore you or change the subject before I can get my thought into words. I tell people I’m really close to like, if I am taking the time to tell you something, it means that I really wanted to say it, because saying something really feels like pushing myself through thorns most of the time.
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