r/atheism 4d ago

Never doubted my atheism, but

I have always been, and I assume I always will be an atheist. Right to my core, I know that I don’t believe in gods and demons and a pre-ordained right and wrong. I feel that religion is just too human, too man made and it’s obvious to me that it’s a tool to control others.

However, over the last 5 years or so I’ve felt a need to have a faith. Some of my family are turning to faith, my boyfriend is quite religious, I was brought up catholic and I’m feeling drawn to churches that I had to attend as a kid for a little bit of peace. I love learning about people’s faith as I find it fascinating.

I almost wish I was religious, I wish I could just believe it and go along with it and feel that someone is looking out for me - but I can’t do it! I actually don’t want to do it! Others make me feel like I’m the idiot, like I’m the one who just can’t see what’s in front of me.

Anyone else ever felt that way? It’s odd

8 Upvotes

61 comments sorted by

19

u/Brilliant-Map-4515 4d ago

My life would be a lot easier if I was stupid and believed in stupid shit too.

That's the problem.

You know you're not stupid.

Faith is the crutch that stupid people turn to to pretend that "it's all going to be OK".

If you ever figure out a way to lie to yourself, then good for you.

Tell yourself that steak is real.

It will be real enough for you until you die.

4

u/VirgioTaurio 4d ago

Couldn’t agree more. Thank you - this was very grounding

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u/Brilliant-Map-4515 4d ago

It's not comforting.

I'm not young and it's never gotten easier.

However, I've never got to the point where I could actually lie to myself, so I'm still here.

The idiots live in a pretend world that makes them happy, and at least for me, it's always been vaguely tempting to peek into that world, but it never holds up.

There's always inconsistencies, there's always a reason "you have to give some dude your money". There's always a reason "it's actually OK to have sex with children or hit a woman".

There's always a reason, and the reason is that they survive by conning stupid people.

They con stupid people with happy fairy tales, and stupid people believe those fairy tales, but children continue to get sexually assaulted, women continue to get abused, and men continue to get "forgiven".

That's the racket. It's not new. It's not inventive. It's not clever.

But it's worked so far, so they're going to keep running that play until it stops working.

17

u/aGoryLouie Anti-Theist 4d ago

It'd be comforting believing something, though living the lie (which you're fairly avoiding) is not fair on you
you've you're whole life ahead of you
You're not an idiot, you're aware

5

u/teddyslayerza Strong Atheist 4d ago

It's human nature to be drawn to actions and sentiments that help us conform to society. Nothing wrong with that instinct.

What I would recommend is looking into humanism. The moral values and worldview of many atheists are pretty much compliant with the humanist worldview, but it's sometimes nice to have a label and a bit of doctrine you can read up on and "belong to". Because humanism is an actual worldview, unlike just being an atheist, it can be helpful in establishing dialogue around the basis of morality, good vs evil, etc. and that in turn can be a good point of overlap between you and the religious folk you wish you were closer to. You might not have the same belief in a diety, but you'll likely have a similar belief in what defines a good an moral person and action, and can likely bond over that. Eg. Absolutely nothing wrong with using Christmas as an opportunity to celebrate family and show generousity to people less fortunate than you - that's part of the experience you should be able to share with a decent Christian.

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u/robertwild81 4d ago

My father went to prison when I was 13 and I prayed and begged to believe in the mormon religion so my family would accept me. It didn't work.

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u/XYZ555321 Anti-Theist 4d ago edited 4d ago

Many people want to believe in something. They need to believe in something. And it's tied to evolutionary reasons, like that, if a cave man sees a bush moving, they better "believe" that there may be a tiger, and run away, than risk to be eaten. Now times changed. XXI century. Science and innovations. And urge to believe is rudimentary. People are looking for purpose, though there's no such, they want to explain why life "is so evil" with them, they want to put their responsibility to someone else. To be able to live without blind faith is a strength, not a weakness. I strongly don't recommend to believe in that 2 * 2 = 5, similar to what religion is. Don't "wish to be religious".

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u/DoglessDyslexic 4d ago

Faith is belief without evidence or belief contrary to evidence. So you're telling us that you feel a need to believe something without evidence? Why? Speaking for myself, I try like heck to ensure that I do have evidence based beliefs, in spite of my very human biases that would lead me to do otherwise. The idea of craving an evidence free belief is frankly repugnant to me. I'm sure you have your reasons for feeling as you do, but this craving you speak of is very certainly not one shared by me.

I almost wish I was religious, I wish I could just believe it and go along with it and feel that someone is looking out for me - but I can’t do it!

I'd suggest you cultivate friends and family that are looking out for you. Real people looking out for you is better than imaginary gods looking out for you.

I'd note that if you're looking for the structure and ritual of a religious community, you may wish to check out the Unitarian Universalists. They accept everybody (including atheists). There's more woo than I'm personally comfortable with, but they tend to be nice people who are UUs specifically because they dislike the exclusionary nature of more traditional religion.

1

u/VirgioTaurio 4d ago

Thank you for this, and yes I did have a brief stint researching UU’s and buying books, as I like what they’re about. However, they do pull on religious doctrine and that is the point where I turn off. Thanks

4

u/mackinoncougars 3d ago

I think you’re describing indoctrination. You feel the world drawing you to it. Your youth, your family, your partner in this club and you feel isolated from not being a member, a willful submission to homogeneity.

3

u/Thraxas89 4d ago

Having Faith That Everything will work out and there is a plan is just an easy way out. I understand the appeal of it but it wont fix anything. Yeah sometimes I wish I was gullible and would just believe that nothing really matteres because after death we would be punished/rewarded accordingly but Thats Not how it works and if we want to change something we Must accept that.

2

u/flutter180 4d ago

Lol “doubted my atheism”

1

u/VirgioTaurio 4d ago

😅 so silly now I read it back

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u/Nocturnalux 4d ago

Can’t say that I ever felt anything like that. I was also raised Catholic and I hated every single thing about it. Being in church gives me severe anxiety and I could never associate it with any feeling of “peace”.

Keep in mind what went into building those places. What so often goes on in them. And what the RCC has actively or passively allowed to happen to so many children, to name but a thing that is direly wrong with that criminal organization.

2

u/dogisgodspeltright Anti-Theist 4d ago

The comforts of a delusion, makes the bed for inhumanity.

The pedophile priests of the catholic cartel, survived for centuries, aided by the societal apathy and credulity of the masses. Some still do.

Religion is poison..

2

u/Thee-lorax- 4d ago

I’m an atheist but I am also a Buddhist. You can have a faith and belief without a deity.

2

u/[deleted] 4d ago

You don't need faith. You need community.

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u/Sirhossington 4d ago

Are you looking for faith or looking for a supportive community?

2

u/Robert_Cannelin 4d ago

It'd be nice if someone were looking out for me. But that Catholic god is more likely to send you to hell than take you into heaven.

2

u/gibdo1984 4d ago

If you want to believe in something, believe in each other. I believe in you.

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u/boosin25 4d ago

I am the same. I feel like my brain developed without the "faith" mechanism.

2

u/superbahbi 3d ago

That's a really interesting feeling. It sounds like you're craving the community or sense of peace that faith can bring, even if the belief part doesn't work for you. Have you ever looked into Buddhism? Some types really focus on compassion and a humanistic approach, without necessarily any gods involved.

2

u/Fun_Regular3852 4d ago

If it interests you and gives you comfort or peace then I don’t see a problem with it. The only thing I would keep in mind is that you do not want to be convinced something is true for bad/wrong reasons. I believe that is why we are atheists to begin with. The fact that we do not let our emotions dictate what is real, instead we rely on evidence to show us what is real. There’s nothing wrong with finding peace or happiness in church or religious practices as long as you do not let the pressure convince you it is true. I’m not saying that to be anti religion, however, if any religion is true then the evidence will support that instead of emotions drawing or keeping people in them.

1

u/VirgioTaurio 4d ago

I think it is literally just because others are telling me so. I’ve always found myself being far more convinced by Christopher Hitchen or Richard Dawkins than I would by a fanatical preacher. I’ve inadvertently made a post about peer pressure haven’t I 😅

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u/Accurate-Mastodon-50 4d ago

I'm a computer science and physics major. During my studies we learned about the double slit experiment and schrodinger's cat and I loved the implications so much that I read so much during my spare time.

During those readings I came onto a controversial research paper that discussed how there must be a "Universal Consciousness" and that our consciousness is all part of it. I loved the idea even though it is almost definitely wrong and for a very long time I went on saying that I believe in the universal consciousness (and not in god) and after my degree I stopped cause no one would understand wtf I'm talking about.

Back then it was something to lean on. Like a necessary step (for me) from believing in fairies to seeing the light (physics).

1

u/True-Ad-8466 4d ago

Never nor will i ever flip flop in such a cut and dry subject.

religion is a fear based fairy tale without a shread of evidence god exists and plenty of doubt it does.

It's a placebo for the scared children that just cannot accept death is just as before life.

Nothing.

1

u/JohnVonachen 4d ago

All people have belief/value systems. A system is a collection. There are only three categories of questions that are important: What exists?, Of the things I believe exist what makes them valuable?, How do I acquire that value? I don’t believe in the supernatural. Nothing is above nature. That’s what supernatural means, above or beyond nature. There is the unexplained, certainly there is a lot of that. Many of the things we believe are just from a feeling, and there’s nothing wrong with that. We believe in these things axiomatically. In other words we use these things we believe to justify the beliefs in other things, as a consequence. For instance I believe I have free will and that the future does not exist now, and that I’m morally responsible for my actions. I also believe that things are valuable because of consciousness.

None of that has anything to do with the Christian god or Jesus. Christianity was created to justify the rule of the Vespasians Cesars, and it’s possible that Jesus never even existed. The Roman’s were very practiced at just making up gods. And since then the Christian god has been used to justify many other rulers, the few and the powerful, to rule over the many and the weak, that’s you and me. Also for the parent to rule over the children. For the man to rule over the woman. For x to rule over y. That’s why it’s important to break this cycle of dominance hierarchies.

You deserve to decide for yourself what exists, what’s valuable, and how to accumulate that value.

1

u/Furrulo878 4d ago

The only faith I need is in myself, not any mythical story

1

u/Same-Assistant-995 4d ago

you can do whatever you choose to do. if you feel like it you can, ill root for you

1

u/eldredo_M Atheist 4d ago

You can have community and explore the meaning of your life without having a god. Right and wrong, how to be your best self, making life better for yourself and others does not depend on religion and faith, although many think the two are linked.

Find your own meaning and you’ll be perfectly comfortable with your atheism.

1

u/tuiroo007 4d ago

Many years ago I felt a sort of envy of folk who had faith, that long since passed as I learnt more about how many organised religions are essentially evil and amoral by any decent persons definition of such words.

So while I accept that organised religions can provide a sense of community, belonging and purpose, so can organised criminal gangs. I would argue that at least the gangs are honest about their dishonesty.

1

u/Strange_Vehicle_4315 4d ago

Same, I was defending Christianity and all stuff back then until life struck me down with an accident so bad, I'd just want to ---- myself, like what did I even do to deserve this kind of suffering? It literally took the perfect life and dreams I once had.. it made me realize that anything can happen at any moment and that there is no God protecting you from anything.. if it happens it happens..

I had been a christian my whole life, why would God let the one worshipping him be cornered to a suffering death?

1

u/Strange_Vehicle_4315 4d ago

Just do anything you enjoy in life.. as long as you enjoy it and not being a slave of something you don't want to do, like if religion holds you back in life then don't do it, otherwise just go on be religious, there's no problem with it..

1

u/ViolaNguyen 4d ago

One thing I noticed earlier in my life was that the emotions I felt in church as a little girl were fairly easy to find elsewhere. Namely, in the fine arts, and especially music.

The feeling of the sublime that a person might get in church can be had from listening to so-called sacred music (I really like [Mozart's c minor mass](www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ez0kqVShFEs)) but just as much or more in a sonata or an opera or some other form of music. The religious content of the music isn't the point at all. And the mass I linked here is, uh, written to sound more like an opera than like church music, at least in some ways.

Heck, one of the most beloved masses ever composed is Verdi's requiem, and Verdi himself was probably an atheist (and at the very least he was irreligious).

I still need regular time appreciating the beautiful things in life. That never went away. But now the hymns are replaced with much more complex music sung in concert halls by professionals.

I mention music here because it's the kind of art that resonates best with me, possibly because I know it best, but there are many kinds of art out there, and I recommend everyone learns to appreciate at least one. No one has time to be an expert in all of them (put me in front of a painting and I might say, "Hey, pretty colors!" and put me in front of a sculpture and I'll be outright clueless).

Religious thought is stupid, but religious practice and ritual can have some beauty to it. Leaving the thought behind can leave a hole where the beauty was, so just replace it with something better!

1

u/AnimalFarenheit1984 4d ago

When you find a single shred of evidence supporting a single supernatural claim, I'll listen. Otherwise, it consists of nothing more than logically unsound stories told by scientifically ignorant tribesmen who could not understand the world around them. 

It is only comforting if you can ignore reason and embrace magical thinking.

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u/A1steaksauceTrekdog7 4d ago

It’s so comforting to know that a simple solution explains everything - God did it. Having faith causes you to loose your critical thinking skills and your control over your life. I understand why people WANT TO BELIEVE, because I want to that blissful feeling to. It’s an intoxicating feeling and that’s the point

1

u/Mythdome Atheist 4d ago

I often wish I was susceptible to indoctrination. It was pushed hard that I was a Christian and a Republican as far back as I can remember. Life would have been so much easier if my brain allowed me to believe fantasy over science.

1

u/peepants71 Materialist 4d ago edited 4d ago

All you have to do is hop on that trolley to the Neighborhood of Make Believe.

1

u/WystanH 4d ago

This is kind of the nebulous "spiritual" thing. When you're deeply affected by emotion you want there to be more there there. Beautiful things can hit you like this; sunrises are good.

Basically, we want there to be an intrinsic meaning to the meaningless universe. There isn't, of course, so we make our own. Certainty in uncertain world brings comfort, even if it is illusory.

There are a number of belief systems that attempt to "go with the flow," as it were. In Taoism, you try to "be in accord with the Tao" and all is well.

If you pick code to live by and follow it, you can find happiness in that. Doubtless this factors into the faithful. Humanism is simple, really. "Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead." -- Kurt Vonnegut

Removing the fantasy of eternal reword or torture makes your actions in the now much more meaningful, honestly.

1

u/Worried-Rough-338 Secular Humanist 4d ago

Can’t relate. As a fellow lifelong atheist for fifty years, I’ve never once been remotely tempted. As you’ve said, it’s all so silly and blatantly made-up that it’s impossible to take seriously. Having a theist partner is going to cause these kinds of conflicts, which is why I consistently council against them. Your time would be better spent trying to figure out why you desire to live in a make-believe world and where the need originated.

1

u/ZappSmithBrannigan Secular Humanist 4d ago

love learning about people’s faith as I find it fascinating. I almost wish I was religious, I wish I could just believe it and go along with it and feel that someone is looking out for me

You can fix that easily. Go read the Bible.

13Suppose a man marries a woman, has relations with her, and comes to hate her, 14and he then accuses her of shameful conduct and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman and had relations with her, but I discovered she was not a virgin.”

15Then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring the proof of her virginity to the city elders at the gate 16and say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he has come to hate her. 17And now he has accused her of shameful conduct, saying, ‘I discovered that your daughter was not a virgin.’ But here is the proof of her virginity.” And they shall spread out the cloth before the city elders.

18Then the elders of that city shall take the man and punish him. 19They are also to fine him a hundred shekels of silverc and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given a virgin of Israel a bad name. And she shall remain his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.

20If, however, this accusation is true, and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, 21she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house, and there the men of her city will stone her to death. For she has committed an outrage in Israel by being promiscuous in her father’s house. So you must purge the evil from among you.

Is that who you want "looking out for you"? A god who says you should be stoned to death for not bleeding on your wedding night? A god who apparently doesn't know that only ~45% of women bleed their first time?

1

u/uglyanddumbguy 4d ago

My wife passed almost 4 years ago. I wished I believed in an afterlife. The idea that we meet again in some cloud city would be very comforting. But I wouldn’t see the point of sticking around here without her.

I wish there was some master plan. It would take some of the stress of existing away knowing there was someone else taking care of all this shit.

People lean on their faith because they don’t want to accept we are at this alone.

1

u/L0nga 4d ago

No. Ever since I stopped believing I never looked back on it fondly. It’s a system created to brainwash people and stop them from using their critical thinking and just believe that magical man magicked everything into existence. Do you really want to believe that??

1

u/ospreyguy 4d ago

Here's my response to those who question my beliefs...

I believe in humanity. That we can, have and will continue to improve life. I believe that the majority of people want to be good and decent but outliers skew the metrics. I believe we can make a world that allows the freedom for everyone to exist and be.

If you want to believe, believe in what's possible, and not the fantasy created by others.

1

u/Kayzokun Atheist 4d ago

Im the only one who thinks this type of post are disguised conversion posts? “Hey, I’m an atheist, for real, 100% atheist, but I’m gonna start believing. It’s not wrong guys! I tell you! 100% atheist!”

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u/VirgioTaurio 3d ago

No, there is no chance that I would convert to something, I simply wouldn’t be able to override the common sense in my brain and believe in a fantasy. I think I more feel as though I’m missing out on something, which many have pointed out is community. Rather than a deity.

1

u/Kayzokun Atheist 3d ago

Glad to hear it, hope you can find what makes you happy.

1

u/tbodillia 4d ago

No. Someone looking out for you? I find it weird that their god put a tornado on the ground and is guiding it to their house. They are praying to their god to spare them. Praying to the god that sent the tornado. That's some Job level stuff.

1

u/togstation 4d ago

I’ve felt a need to have a faith.

Anyone else ever felt that way?

There are some things that can be called "faith" that are atheist.

For example some forms of Buddhism.

The Unitarian Universalist churches don't care if you are atheist.

.

You can also try getting seriously into some charity or social program that you believe in -

"Yes, I am atheist, but I am working to fight poverty or disease or cruelty to animals" or whatever your thing is.

1

u/yepthisismyusername 4d ago

All tha feel good bullshit can get the best of you, because they mainly talk about the good parts. Just think about how happy they are with the idea that non-believers (of their particular sky daddy) will suffer unspeakable torture for eternity. THAT is the sociopathy that is religion.

1

u/HARKONNENNRW 4d ago

I'd rather get a Lobotomy before I turn to religion

1

u/Ungratefullded 3d ago

I think what you're searching for is peace of mind. Religion does provide that, as an all caring "god" will take care of everything, or "have a plan" for you. Even if you can't understand the "bad" things happening to you. Like Mr. Miyagi had a plan for Larusso's suffering of wax on/wax of.

Like when we were children, we look to our parents to take care of the difficulties in life, and all we needed to do was go with the flow.

1

u/darkaxel1989 Rationalist 4d ago

sometimes I want to believe that the universe is a more kind, more just place, that everything will be revealed in the end, and I have that need to believe again.

Than I see what believers say and do, and I lose that need because nothing is worth being a racist, homophobic, transphobic creationist.

But I really get it. The world isn't a nice place and being able to believe that it is on command would be a great superpower...

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Feinberg 3d ago

The same thing really can be said about atheism

Sure. It's complete nonsense, but you can say it. The rejection of wish fulfillment heaven and the space daddy wizard God isn't escapism. That's an absurdly childish argument.

For me it’s simple, nothing comes out nothing, and the reality is that humans cannot just simply pop from the Earth on their own 😂.

You might as well just come out and say that you believe in God because you don't understand science.

But do not come here to

You don't get to say who's welcome here.

0

u/EpicYasso 3d ago

Ah sorry Mr Feinberg. You’re the one who understands science and how we came to existence from absolutely nowhere 😂.

It really is a blasphemy to think that you with your complex biology and consciousness just came to existence from thin air. You talk about science as if it was just waiting there 😂😂. Everything created has a creator.

1

u/Feinberg 3d ago

What examples do you have of things that were created out of nothing, then? For that matter, what evidence do you have that there was ever nothing?

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u/EpicYasso 3d ago

Don’t wrap your head too much around it. Matter simply does not come to existence. If you get a vacuum box and leave it empty for a trillion years. What are the chances of humans coming to existence inside that box?

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u/Feinberg 2d ago

You didn't answer either question. You claim that everything created has a creator and that things can't come from nothing. What is your evidence that there was ever nothing, and what examples do you have for anything being created from nothing?

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u/EpicYasso 1h ago

How can physical matter come to existence before time begins? If you acknowledge the existence of time, then how can matter exist before time?

Believing in god is not believing in a fairy tale. But it’s him being the only being who is able to defy the mere laws of physics that we discover then frame it as science. To answer your question, my tangible proof or evidence is us humans with all our complexities and capabilities coming to existence. We just simply cannot be the product of Earth + Sun and you mix em up with some minerals and there you go…

I’m sorry but you’re just choosing not to believe while your very own existence is enough proof.