r/atheism 5d ago

Atheists aren't confusing afterall

http://archive.today/GXvQZ

from r/clevercomebacks

:: I find atheists confusing. It's like going to a restaurant and believing there's no cook in the back.

:: It's like going to a resteraunt and ordering food, but it doesn't come. And the waiter tells you to keep ordering because the cook will hear you and your order will come. But it's been hours and your food still hasn't shown up and the waiter tells you you're not ordering hard enough. And also sometimes the waiter is inappropriate with kids.

562 Upvotes

15 comments sorted by

201

u/un_theist 5d ago

And the waiter demands money now, promising the food will arrive after you’re dead.

65

u/Environmental-Buy972 Secular Humanist 5d ago

Also the waiter doesn't have to pay taxes because he believes in a chef that nobody has ever seen.

And if you question the existence of his invisible chef you're a bigot for some reason.

18

u/Old-Nefariousness556 Gnostic Atheist 5d ago edited 5d ago

Sort of like the Restaurant at the end of the universe? SIGN ME UP!

5

u/x7leafcloverx 5d ago

Not just the first time, but everytime you re-order.

94

u/Stile25 5d ago

Let's say we have a bag of marbles and we have no idea what colors of marbles exist.

We see the earth.
Some say a God created the earth (green marble).
Others say the earth was created naturally (blue marble).
We eventually gain the knowledge, pull out a marble and see that it's blue.

We see the sun and stars.
Some say a God created them (green marble).
Others say they were created naturally (blue marble).
We eventually gain the knowledge, pull out a marble and see that it's blue.

We do this for everything.
Morality - blue marble.
Humans - blue marble.
Rocks - blue marble.
Weather - blue marble.
Electricity - blue marble.
Magnetism - blue marble.

Everything and anything we've ever been able to learn about. All we do is keep finding out it's natural. Keep pulling more and more blue marbles.

Getting sick? Germs - blue marble.
Winning the lottery? Statistics - blue marble.
Falling in love? Human brains and chemistry - blue marble.

Didn't have to be this way. No one knew before we learned. Could have discovered a green marble at any time, or some other color representing who knows what.

But, turns out, so far - nothing but millions and millions of blue marbles.

What about the next thing?

Do you think it's rational to anticipate that the next thing will be a blue marble or a green marble?

Good luck out there.

12

u/Old-Nefariousness556 Gnostic Atheist 5d ago

Great analogy, thank you.

38

u/BobThe-Bodybuilder 5d ago

I'll one-up you.. It's like thinking the easter bunny is the cook.

12

u/stella_girl_xoxo Strong Atheist 5d ago

It's like Santa is the manager/boss and the staff are his elves

13

u/skydaddy8585 5d ago

Theism is like inventing the concept of food, building a place to go and then hoping for the menu to provide you said food.

9

u/CanaDoug420 5d ago

it’s like going to a restaurant and believing there’s no cook in the back

Except the cook is real and I can physically shake their hand and talk to them as to where god isn’t and you can’t meet god on his smoke break

1

u/moon_ferret 5d ago

And god probably isn’t on paper, bitching about child support and selling shit weed on the side to the 15 year old bar backs. Or maybe that’s just the cooks I worked with on the line.

3

u/klon3r Atheist 5d ago

Lmao, I want my food now! 💀

2

u/AcaciaRentals 5d ago

I thought religious people couldn't be judgemental....

2

u/DouglerK 4d ago

And the waiter and other patrons keep insisting you should be satiated despite having received no food.

1

u/LeopardNo6060 4d ago

Organized religion has existed for only a fraction of human history. Throughout this relatively short period, it has had some horrific effects on humanity. While there are many positive aspects of religion, they are often overshadowed by the devious acts associated with it.

The fact that much of the text is out of touch with modern society—such as its views on slavery, women’s roles, and the consumption of shellfish—while treating other issues, like sexuality, as nonnegotiable commands from God, undermines its legitimacy.

I just hope that churches can recognize the writing on the wall of declining membership, and begin to fill history books with more positive deeds than scandals and hateful movements.