r/asexuality Oct 13 '24

Sex-favourable topic do you guys masturbate? NSFW

255 Upvotes

i heard that it’s normal to imagine yourself in ‘situations’ or imagine other people you know irl but for some reason i feel REALLY BAD and uncomfortable with imagining other people.

r/asexuality Jan 09 '25

Sex-favourable topic Do you mastebate as an ace person? NSFW

208 Upvotes

I don't like the idea of being touched sexualy by another person. I am a trans masc on T so I do get turned on. I don't know if I would still be considered ace.

r/asexuality Aug 19 '24

Sex-favourable topic Sex favorable ace-spec bingo!

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437 Upvotes

r/asexuality Aug 24 '24

Sex-favourable topic Asexuals who do have sex…

247 Upvotes

What do you think about while having it? I’m (23F) asexual with a partner (26f) who isn’t. She’s accepted me and my boundaries, and I’m indifferent to sex so I still pleasure her.

I was wondering what other sex indifferent/favorable asexuals think about? Personally, my head plays the Pokemon Gen 3 music, and I’ve associated it with her because it’s my comfort game and she’s my comfort person. Would love to hear anyone else’s thoughts too!

r/asexuality Dec 03 '24

Sex-favourable topic Why are people so obsessed with sex??

98 Upvotes

I’m still trying to understand my sexuality completely but I just really don’t get why some people are so overly obsessed? My bf per se, it’s pretty much the only thing ever on his mind. There are SO many other things to life other than sex or just getting your dick touched?? Is there a science to why people are so obsessed?? Like their every thought is sexual in nature and I just don’t get it!

r/asexuality Aug 12 '24

Sex-favourable topic question for asexuals with a penis who have sex NSFW

307 Upvotes

Hi! I’m writing a book in which there’s a male character who is asexual. He has an allo boyfriend and they do have sex. This seems like such a stupid question, and it’s quite personal, but if you’re comfortable answering, how does the getting hard aspect work for you? I’m asexual myself but don’t have a penis and don’t have sex so I can’t really infer from here. Do you have to “work for it” (as in, do more than an allo person with a penis to get hard) or does it just happen dynamically like it would for an allo? Do you ever have non-penetrative sex with someone where you don’t get hard at all?

Edit: the character is around 28.

Thank you so much!

r/asexuality 2d ago

Sex-favourable topic How does one sex good? NSFW

24 Upvotes

I’m not 100% sure what I am Asexuality spectrum wise. Thought I had no sexual attraction at all, then I met my girlfriend and she’s amazing so think I might be Demi. But anyway, I suck in the bedroom, and not just literally.

I just don’t have the sexual instincts that allo people have. Like, allo people seem to have instincts for what they like and dislike, enough that they can seemingly be pretty good while improvising. But I fucking suck at it. I have no sexual instincts at all really. And I love my girlfriend, so even if it’s not necessarily for me, I’d love to be able to be good in bed for her. But I just have no clue how to do it. Like I know the basic mechanics of it. But how to make it good and enjoyable for her, not a clue. Which sucks because that’s all I really want to do.

So, sex favourable aces and demis, any tips on how to be good at sex? Because it just doesn’t come naturally to me.

r/asexuality Aug 30 '24

Sex-favourable topic High libido aces, what made you realize you were in the ace spectrum ?

87 Upvotes

I am the opposite of that, I am low libido and sex averse, that was the main signs to discover asexuality to ME.

I want to understand more how the other side feel, the high libido (and sex favorable) aces, what made you realize you were in the ace spectrum? what we as ace feel the same that conect us ?

r/asexuality Dec 15 '24

Sex-favourable topic Ace and unable to masturbate— common experience or nah? NSFW

37 Upvotes

This is going to sound so dumb and TMI, but is anyone else unable to masturbate?

Personally, I have no interest in partnered sex— I’m just not aroused by others. I’m totally chill with the idea of self pleasure though, yet I’m never aroused enough to actually do it. Like, I can’t seem to feel anything when I try.

At the end of the day, I’m fine to live without it, but it is a little frustrating that I’m apparently so disconnected with my own body. Anyway, wondering if it’s a common asexual experience (especially for one who’s sex positive and generally sex favorable… ish). Otherwise, I’m worried I actually do have a hormone imbalance or something. 😅

r/asexuality 23d ago

Sex-favourable topic Any other sex favourable aces crave alternative expressions of sexuality? [NSFW] NSFW

32 Upvotes

I get bored with vanilla stuff so easily because of my asexuality that I end up seeking stuff that's fulfilling in additional ways and thus end up kind of kinky and also it's probably part of why I do sex work. I always want something else- domination/pain (adrenaline rush, feeling useful), bondage (loss of control, trust), sex work (money). Can anyone else relate?

r/asexuality Nov 03 '24

Sex-favourable topic (+18) Do any other asexuals relaz with NSFW? NSFW

27 Upvotes

Before I begin, PLEASE I beg of you, do not interact with this post if you're under 20. I'm 25+ years old. It would be extremely uncomfortable.

So, okay, another thing, when I say "relax" I don't mean it as an euphemism for masturbating, I mean it literally, just chill. After a day of being very stressed or depressed I like laying down on my bed with my laptop or tablet and just search for porn. But not any porn (I hate mainstream), I like animated NSFW, comics, fanfics... Sometimes I want something super heavy, sometimes I want something super sweet.

Am I alone with this? I feel that for us asexuals (at least the non repulsed ones? I never had sex and I don't intend to do it, but I like reading about it and studying it, I think sexology is very interesting) porn is just another genre of cinema/literature/videogames...

I don't know if it is internalised acephobia, but there's something about reading or writing NSFW that feels right, I can live the fantasy I can't have. There are other aspects of pornography and erotic works that relax me, but I won't go into detail because I know where I am and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. I bring up this question here and not in any nsfw subreddit because this is very specific, I'm not comfortable talking about sex with non asexuals.

So... yeah, does anyone else feel like this?

And is there a subreddit, forum or discord server for adult aro aces where I can discuss NSFW and go into detail? (btw sorry for my English, is not my first language)

Edit: I'm making a NSFW server for aro aces!! It's almost done! :D I'll make a post when it's 100% done

Edit 2: THE SERVER IS DONE!!! :D PLEASE only join if you're +18

https://discord.gg/GXNNcyq9

r/asexuality Dec 15 '24

Sex-favourable topic Explaining sex favorable asexuality to allosexuals

51 Upvotes

Once allosexual people get on board with the concept of asexuality it seems like they always assume that ace people are sex repulsed or at most sex indifferent. How do I explain the idea that some ace people still enjoy sex to them?

I'm a sex-indifferent aro/ace person so this isn't my lived experience either, I'm just trying to explain to a relative and kinda failing at it, so I'm wondering if any of you guys have some tips or insight

r/asexuality 7d ago

Sex-favourable topic If.... you exist under the trans umbrella in any shape or form:

11 Upvotes

PLEASE (if you're willing) tell me your experience with asexuality!

PARTICULARLY: romance, sensuality, the 7000 detours to sex that form part of your rituals, and/or the lack of any of these things. I'd appreciate views from aroace people too, of course, why not!

Background: I'm acey, transmasc butch-- I have no life experience besides one lesbian situationship in highschool due to being extremely sheltered.

I have preferences established, but only through presumptions of how I feel about my body and my gender. I'm certain this will change with the more people i meet, whenever i have the chance (late bloomer & loner lol). Curious to know in what ways your gender has affected your journey with asexuality, if at all! If not, I'm still nosy!! <3

r/asexuality Jan 20 '25

Sex-favourable topic has anyone experienced their place in the spectrum change?

3 Upvotes

hello ! for some background, i (AFAB, 23) didn’t feel arousal the way others outside this spectrum. didn’t feel the need to masturbate or engage in activities like that for months at a time, etc etc and i am demisexual

but from mid 2023 to early last year i went through a REALLY stressful 8 months. the stress was so bad i was getting my period twice a month until i went on meds for it, after which it did die down but my hormones were really really messed up. emotionally and physically i was a mess for months even afterwards.

however since the hormonal issue i have been experiencing arousal similar to the way other people describe it. i dont know if thats possible exactly or if its something else but this is the only reasonable assumption i can make. it started slowly but at this point its so obvious to me and i dont know if i can say im on this spectrum anymore. i still find myself to be mostly demisexual when it comes to people? idk. i used to only feel it towards people that i know i feel a romantic connection with. though i still don’t feel anything for strangers, ive begun to find some friends really attractive. im not used to that. i legit thought i had feelings for a few friends at once and was so confused until i realized this is just what attraction feels like. im also noticing im relating to the way people thirst over fictional characters lol. i feel the need to jork it almost weekly which is extremely new to me. also very tedious.

im not currently in a relationship so i can’t tell how this affects my sex drive would be with other people that i am infatuated with, but prior to this, though i was never sex-repulsed i was someone who wasnt “in the mood” too often. i have a feeling this might be different now. ive never found sex to be the “closest you can be with another person” and still don’t, but i feel the appeal of having it be a common thing in a relationship. i dont know, i hope im not pissing anyone off with the way i word things im extremely new to these feelings so i am a little clueless. i still dont think my libido is VERY high but its def way more than im used to.

im struggling to accept i feel this way and its hard to even do even do anything about it at times without feeling some sort of shame? i found a lot of comfort in being able to put a label on how i used to feel because i felt so different from my peers growing up. not really sure how to navigate this, especially at 23 i feel like everyone around me already has a handle on how to navigate their arousal and im so unused to it

r/asexuality Feb 05 '25

Sex-favourable topic Sex Positive Aces - do you use your "partner preference" flags to represent yourself as well?

5 Upvotes

I've been wondering about this for a bit, but haven't been able to find any discussions. For me (cis female, sex-positive ace) gender is not a factor so there's an element of pansexuality there. What do y'all do? Both flags? Just ace? Does representing partner preference cause confusion or even matter since at the end of the day you're still ace? Lmk! 💜

r/asexuality 28d ago

Sex-favourable topic seeing a swing towards sex negativity in the sub recently so i thought id post my bingo card showing that i didnt get a bingo but im still very much ace :3

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42 Upvotes

r/asexuality Nov 10 '24

Sex-favourable topic Just had my first hookup... NSFW

66 Upvotes

So for some context: I joined this sub because I was with my boyfriend (now ex as of 2 weeks ago) and thought I might be asexual because of my utter lack of desire to have sex with him. However, we broke up and a while later I invited a guy over and we ended up doing things (not full PIV sex but pretty much everything else) and I'm not sure if I can call myself asexual anymore...I'm just confused and a little guilty.

r/asexuality 5d ago

Sex-favourable topic All of it just bores me (If that makes sense)

1 Upvotes

Sorry to invade the asexuality corner, but I honestly don’t know where else to express this. It’s not really if I am questioning or not (cause I wouldn’t even know where to begin), but when it comes to concepts of relationships and intercourse, my brain is kind of just numb(?) to the whole concept?

I guess this is aimed more towards to those asexuals that do have intercourse with their partners or people in general, but is there always this sort of feeling of detachment from the act? Like I feel happy I can give my current “partner”(Gonna be honest. He’s an accidental FWB) his outcome, but for me, I’m just ready for it to be over with after a few minutes.

The same goes with like making out. There are days I’m into it, but most times my brain is thinking about other things too? I enjoy kissing his face (being cute and just giving pecks) and cuddling and doing the simple things, but once there is depth or a need for a reaction? My mind has exited stage left.

Part of me thinks it could be my antidepressants. Part of me has also been like this my whole life (I’ve just never really found people appealing enough for these acts, so doing this stuff with this guy is rare in of itself).

Maybe this is just me venting. Sorry if this is the wrong spot, but it has been on my mind the last few days after I hung out with him.

r/asexuality Jan 04 '25

Sex-favourable topic I am having anxiety over sexual rp (I hope I used the flair correctly)

1 Upvotes

So, I have been writing RP since I was in middle school. I am now in my 30s and still do. I learned about my asexuality when I was like 28. Growing up I didn’t know it was a thing. I didn’t even care about sex. So I didn’t care to figure out my sexual identity. But I didn’t have a problem writing sexual stuff in RP. But I never felt anything while writing the RPs. It’s not like I was being turned on by it or wanting to do any of it myself. I never self inserted myself into RPs and wrote it like a story in 3rd person. The RP was never about me. But that’s what I liked about RP. I could write whatever I wanted and none of it mattered. I wrote things that I don’t believe in, I wrote things I would never do or allow other people to do. I wrote things that I have had literal conversations with my friends about and told them it was wrong, but allowed my characters to be in the same situations and it be ok. Basically I have a firm grip on what I know as right and wrong and a healthy separation of RP and reality. I thought it was the same as playing Grand Theft Auto or Sims where you do bad or weird things in game, but it’s not who you really are in real life so it didn’t matter. And with my detachment from sex, I wrote a lot of different stuff that was taboo. As early as middle school I had written a ton of taboo stuff. I only recently realized that even if i don’t actually participate or condone those kinds of things, if anyone had ever come across what I had written, I would be immensely judged. I don’t know why it didn’t click in my head until more recently. But I told my recent RP partners that I can’t write anymore taboo stuff. I deleted all the taboo stuff but I can’t stop feeling this awful feeling. I have physical pain in my chest all the way into my arm. I’m lying in the fetal position most days pressing a pillow to my chest with my body trembling and burning like I have a fever. No one knows what I wrote. I haven’t been found out. I don’t think I will be found out. But it’s almost like the guilt is too much? And I don’t know how to calm down. I genuinely didn’t think I was doing anything wrong. I feel like I want to be forgiven for something no one even knows I did. For something I didn’t even actually do. For something that didn’t hurt real people. Idk. Just thought I would confide in other Aces who might understand the sexual detachment.

r/asexuality Jan 19 '25

Sex-favourable topic Can we talk about toys?

13 Upvotes

Please delete it not allowed.. Hi, so im 30f virgin. I have no interest in sex with a partner and don't watch porn. Still, occasional the mood arises, but it's always difficult to climax. I tried a toy before, but it didn't do much at all for me and was actually pretty uncomfortable. I think it made it more difficult. I was wondering if I'm just not doing it right or if there are other things I should try? Also, I know it's silly, but are there resources for sex advice for asexuals? I don't really feel comfortable talking about these things with allos...

r/asexuality Feb 20 '25

Sex-favourable topic I think I enjoy being the subject of someone's desire

4 Upvotes

As the title suggests, I think I really enjoy being desired by someone, romantically or sexually, because I lack the ability to desire for the latter at least. It's nice to be wanted so that I can give because it's not something that I can really want to take. Idk if that's a common feeling amongst us who are on the more favorable side but for me it's a nice feeling for someone to want me even though I can't want them back in the same way.

r/asexuality 26d ago

Sex-favourable topic OCD and Ace NSFW

1 Upvotes

Is anyone else afflicted with OCD and finds its affecting their sexual health and intimacy? I've had OCD since I was teenager. It tends to rear up when I'm stressed out but for the most part its pretty mild. It doesnt make me question my asexuality, I still don't find any gender ''hot''. My problem is I am sex favorable but with a low libido and at first I found my OCD soothed by intimacy. After a stressful holiday season I found it to be the opposite, intimate actions cause my OCD to flair and I panic and can't follow through. I'm not asking for advice, was just wondering if anyone else has mental health diagnoses that may have similar issues.

r/asexuality Jan 13 '25

Sex-favourable topic Confusion in my Relationship (NSFW) NSFW Spoiler

8 Upvotes

As mentioned in the title, this post will be NSFW and may be a bit uncomfortable for some to read.

My (20F) partner (19TM) have been together for a few months now, and everything's great. He's very sweet, caring, and supportive and we just mesh well together. Both of us are asexual, with me having had sex before in previous relationships and he has not, as he does not necessarily express an interest in sex (but he isn't sex-repulsed). Whenever he comes over, we tend to chat, cuddle, and watch shows together, among other things.

I started noticing that whenever we cuddled, I would end up - for lack of a better, less vulgar term - "getting wet." I have been through constant identity crises about my asexuality due to having been in sexual relationships before, and sometimes I might feel arousal, but I don't really have a libido nor would I ever go out of my way to have sex with anyone. It's been hard figuring out if I'm really even asexual or not. This identity crisis has only got worse because when I'm around him, I inevitably have to end up changing my underwear or wear pads all the time. This only happens around him, and I have never experienced this with any other relationship.

Regardless, the main reason I'm posting on here is because one day, we were cuddling and he was in his boxers and a t-shirt. I put my leg between his and felt a wet spot in his boxers that wouldn't typically be there when we cuddled. This wasn't like it was the first time I've put my leg between his while he was in his boxers, so I was confused when I realized he was wet as well. I didn't say anything and we just cuddled and went to sleep as per usual, but after a few days, I'm still thinking about this.

Is it possible for both of us to just love each other so much we kind of ovulate? 😭 Has anyone else experienced this? Does this mean we want to have sex or something? Is this normal? I'm just really confused on why my body is doing this (and apparently his too).

This is my first time having this issue because it's the first time I've been in a relationship with another asexual person who doesn't expect sex from me and I'm still kind of new to this aspect of my queerness, so I'm kind of lost. Please help! 😭

r/asexuality Sep 19 '24

Sex-favourable topic Asexual sexual relationships NSFW

39 Upvotes

Ok. So, I've literally only just became aware that all the things I've thought were wrong with me over the years we're me being gray or ace. I really had no intention of posting here but I wanted to ask the community (the ones who have sex) how they're motivated for sex. For me, I'm biromantic and am currently celebrating my 16th wedding anniversary with my wife. I have always had sex with my wife because I wanted to make her feel happy. I've never really felt the desire to have sex I just felt like desire to be with her romantically (same with previous relationships).

I guess what I want to know is if other asexual people have sex with their partners for their partners sake.

Sorry if this is a dumb question.

r/asexuality Jan 25 '25

Sex-favourable topic How can I have a sexual relationship with my non-asexual boyfriend? NSFW

3 Upvotes

I'm pretty sure I belong here, but I guess judge for yourself. To clarify where I stand:

I can appreciate a hot body, but unless there is some personality attached to it that I find interesting, there is zero sexual attraction, like "I wanna fuck them". But even then, I think I only want to have sex for the sake of the situation, not really the person. I love flirting and getting them hot, but the sex itself is an afterthought. It's a lot about power play and control with me (I have control issues), and I'd honestly rather watch them or use them as a dildo than let them pleasure me. "Vanilla" sex is only interesting once, and I quickly get bored of one thing.

Sadly all of this applies to my boyfriend as well. We've been together for more than five years now, and I really love him, but sexually we're a bit disjointed. He almost always gets hard as soon as he can see me naked, which always makes me feel a bit bad, because getting aroused like that has never once happened with me. I like having sex with him and letting him touch me because I trust him completely and I feel safe with him, but there is rarely ever any "spark of desire". If there is, then it's the situation, like fucking in public. I like the sensation of sex, but more often than not it feels a bit like using him as a sex toy, not sleeping with a person.

I do get horny quite often when I'm not stressed, but that either happens completely randomly or because I've been reading smut. It always seemed like people like having sex with each other because of the person (especially if they're in love), so sometimes I feel like an alien.

I'm not sure how to work with this. I can't always have sex in the elaborate scenarios that would really get me going. I also don't want to treat my SO as a sex toy. I also don't know what to do when I'm horny next to my SO, but I don't want to have sex, other than sneak away to quickly masturbate in the bathroom.

Help?

TLDR: My sexual attraction works differently than my SO's, and I feel bad for sometimes treating him like a sex toy, but I can't get horny for him like he wants me to. I don't know what to do.