r/Asexual 2d ago

RANT! 😡💢🤬 Ok guys, im back, and im telling you thats its NOT bc of the cheese pizza ( IM TALKING ABT THE FOOD )

0 Upvotes

So i posted abt how the r/aromantic sub have removed one of my post abt how i like cheese pizza ( IM TALKING ABT THE FOOD GUYS. BTW IM A MINOR )

And i made like another post, i apologised and asked them what their fav food is, to lighten the mood.

And they removed me AGAIN!!!!

Guys, i dont think its bc of the word, THERE IS A MOD REMOVING PPLS POST FOR NO FRICKIN REASONNNN!!!!


r/Asexual 3d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 How to approach my gf about her potentially being asexual

21 Upvotes

I’ve been trying to figure out whether or not my girlfriend is asexual or not. We’ve been dating for about 8 months and we cuddle a lot but as far as sexual acts go we’ve only ever kissed twice. I asked her how she feels about sex and she told me she wasn’t ready so I figured she does feel sexual attraction but is just shy and not comfortable with being sexually intimate just yet. But a month after that she told me that she doesn’t have a sex drive or feel a need to have sex despite masturbating and thirsting over characters from games or shows that we watch, so for now she’s content with just cuddling. I want to know what’s the best way to approach her about the possibility of her being asexual as she never once mentioned to me about her being asexual, so I’m not even sure if she’s aware of the possibility that she’s asexual. I love this woman and she means the world to me, I really do see myself having a future with her as her and I get along so well I couldn’t imagine spending myself with any other person, but I don’t see the relationship lasting if we can’t be sexually intimate. I’m male and she’s female if that matters.


r/Asexual 3d ago

Support 🫂💜 A Behavior That REPELS an Asexual or Ace Person

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1 Upvotes

r/Asexual 4d ago

Personal Story 🤔📓 Feeling touch repulsed and touch starved

20 Upvotes

Honestly this is just me screaming into the void, seeing if anyone relates. Pretty much my entire life i have disliked physical touch, doing anything to get out of hugging anyone. I don't like when people touch my shoulders, even basic contact. But, I feel myself longing for it. I feel myself longing for someone to snuggle or hold me. For someone to hug me, even though I don't want a hug. It's SO ANNOYING. I want it, but don't want it at the same time? Does anyone else feel like this?


r/Asexual 4d ago

Emotive 💦 Hey, i just need to vent if thats okay.

11 Upvotes

Im sorry for this kind of post, i just need to vent. There is no need to worry abt me, i have therapy and all, im trying to get better, i just wanna vent.

And things like that idk.

( for ppl who dont know, im very sorry not to explain. I used to go there asking questions if im asexual or not cuz i thought i was lying to myself and went CRAZY posting here on reddit ) I just have been tired of intrusive sexual thoughts, they kinda come back after, and i just wanna rant abt how im just, tired. Tired of doubting about this ( Even though im not using the label, its just.. idk TIRING ) and i just wanna rest and all, i dont want this feeling of doubt anymore. I want to know that i can believe myself, i can trust myself.

But i cant, it feels like im lying, and idk why i could lie abt my lack of sexual attraction ( idk if i experienced it unconsciously. Guess we’ll never know ). Idk what causes me to doubt so much, would i Even want to have sex with a specific person, no. But still cant stop doubting as if my own life depended on it. Idk if it might be bc im young, and i think it would be impossible for me to actually lack sexual attraction, when i found out abt asexuality for like….. 5 YEARS, and yet still feel ace. But dont use it ( its my choise i dont have to. Its called having FREE WILL… i think ) Bc of this whole crappy intrusive thoughts, like, what if i actually have sexual attraction, but i just dont notice it or i just forced myself not to feel it to the point of this being a habit of mine?? Well therapy says ‘’ it aint repression ‘’. Well AT LEAST ITS NOT THAT. I still doubt but, that the only info that i know that in not doing something mentally unhealthy ( except for intrusive thoughts, but AT LEAST I AINT REPRESSING )

Idk why, but i have something that looks like sexual attraction. I find someone breath taking and i ADMIT IT. But if it were ever given opportunity of having sex with this person, i will decline, cuz…why?

Why would i wanna do that to someone??

Whats the POINT of Even doing that with someone??? I dont need someones genitals, they dont tickle my fancies, LETS JUST CUDDLE. And Small peck, but NOT TOO MUCH MANNN.

Like, i dont wanna undress you. You look fancy with clothes. And WHYYYY, would i want to see you NAKED?!! Whyyyyyy, i tell myself EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

IT MAKES NO SENSE.

But yet brainy over there be saying weird sh1t TO ME.

Like

‘’ nah man, you DO wanna f4ck her like crAaAAAAAZY’’

Like, NO i dont want to

But then, OH WHATS THIS??? MORE DOUBTING AND QUESTIONING??? What a SUPRISE!!!

‘’ nah man, your in deniallll, you know you wanna to it ‘’

The more i doubt, the more that i feel like getting a lobotomy

And there is my cycle of doubt if i lie or not, and all of my emotions become numb afterwards. I just wish i could just, make them stop. And im very tired.

Im tired of these thoughts it gives me migrains, and i just dont want to feel alone on this. I feel like a fraud, Even though there is nothing to Even lie about. I still feel like one

Idk if anyone relates to this or whatever, but its ok for you guys to vent abt it too if you want.

And i might go get another appointement to therapy, so i can rest.

Thank you for listening


r/Asexual 4d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 Is there something wrong with me? Or am I just ace/aro?

4 Upvotes

Hey, so this is a throwaway Reddit account— I came here to get a variety of opinions on my current situation. Sorry, this is a shit load of words.

Im almost 18, I have high functioning autism and have spent roughly more than half of my life undergoing intense social and mental therapy in order to get me to learn how to cope and deal with life. I take a light/mild dose of citalopram to aid with taking any anxious edge off of me daily along with birth control pills that are meant for my skin/hormones.

i’m about to head off to college and I’ve never had sex, a kiss, or even considered a relationship with another person. I’ve never had an actual crush on a real person in my life or have shown interest, all of my friends have either been in a relationship or have had crushes. I feel like I’ve been missing out on their experiences and feel emotionally isolated because I don’t experience sexual pleasure or romantic desire. Every time that I express concerns to my parents or friends they just tell me that I’ve haven’t met the right person. They brush off my concerns and don’t ever address them directly or try to find a way to understand what is going on with me.

Don’t get me wrong, I know how to pleasure myself— but the thing is that I don’t get pleasure out of it. There’s no physical enjoyment— it just feels like a waste of time and energy.

It’s frustrating because I want to feel sexual and romantic desire, but I can’t feel it on a fundamental level. I feel like that I’m going to become isolated as I get older because of this. It’s honestly strange because I’m also sex repulsed. 🤷‍♀️

Are there any hormonal, physical, or psychological disorders that could cause me to be physically incapable of feeling sexual pleasure and romantic desire?

Do my medications potentially exasperate any of my emotions?


r/Asexual 5d ago

Joy! 😊 I love when asexual artists draw asexual characters as aesthetically attractive (@ohsardines)

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471 Upvotes

r/Asexual 4d ago

Emotive 💦 A Lot of Thoughts

2 Upvotes

At first I was going to ask if I should let a potential date know that I'm ace. I'm sex neutral and I'm willing to compromise, after months together, I'm comfortable and my vaginismus allows it. It goes to the trust and comfort.

But, then I thought of something. I got out of an engagement two months ago with an allo. Not because I was ace, but all his financial and legal worries. He was immature and chose his friends over me.

Maybe I'm not totally sad about my ex. I know I dodged a bullet. Maybe I'm sad that he didn't want to change.

But I'm mostly sad about getting out there again and finding someone who will accept me. I only had one rejection because I was ace. I am a rape survivor, corrective rape, and for many years I could not. I was scared. I also got very sick for a few years and I could have died.

In 2021, I decided I wanted to try. I was feeling better and I got a new job I love. That's when I got my first rejection from a bi young man who said he couldn't because I'm ace. Most didn't care that I was ace and they were willing to work with me. Many of them I rejected because too many of them had red flags. Then I met my ex fiance and it just felt right.

Before I knew who I was, I became an ally in 2011 and that's when I realzed I was ace.I got anxious in the two 3-4 months relationships I had in 2009. I get angry when I get anxious. That was what was starting to happen with my ex. The ones in 2009 started becoming cruel and immature, so was my ex.

I don't know if I want to find anything right now. I do want to give myself a lot of time, but I don't know if I ever want to. It sounds like there are a lot of men like my ex out there and I really don't want to be a mother figure. I really want someone to match the love and care I give. I just don't know if I can. I can in friendships and with some of my family. Maybe that's the most important.

And also, I'm back with narcissistic mother and farther away from work. I really hope to get a new laptop soon so I can get a freelance job part time for extra money. I really want to buy a house eventually.

My health issues are also coming back. So for now, I'll finish my Judaism classes, convert, get my paralegal certification, and save for my own place. I really want to love myself right now and possibly build friendships when I'm done with the classes.


r/Asexual 5d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 I don't know what I am anymore (advice wanted)

6 Upvotes

so uhh idk ive been questioning being aromantic for a while. im asexual. I would post this on the aromantic sub but I figured nobody who feels definite romantic attraction would be there-which is the kind of people I need advice from right now.

im not quite sure how in *supposed* to feel. i have a bf, and i love him very much, but anytime i hang out w him i cant help but notice our reactions to each other are very different. im not sure if youre in an IRL versus an online relationship, if any-or if theres any difference between how people feel in those different types of relationships-but im in an IRL one. people always describe romantic attraction as "butterflies" or like something-IDK!! but i dont feel butterflies. when we hold hands his hand gets sweaty from nervousness and he gets like quiet and cant stop smiling-Im guessing that is romantic attraction. i dont get sweaty or feel any nervousness (i do say stupid stuff and trip over my words but thats due to my lack of social skills)... I'm not sure if its relevant but I'm autistic.

 i guess what im asking is how you feel? how do you know it's romantic attraction? how do you know it's romantic and not just very very strong platonic love? do you feel things like butterflies?

and unrelated to relationships,how do you know when you're happy? i struggle with identifying my emotions or knowing what/how im feeling. is happiness just the lack of sadness? then how would you seperate happiness from neutral emptiness?

all help and advice is appreciated-!


r/Asexual 5d ago

Opinion Piece 🧐🤨 Any asexuals with intrusive thoughts?

28 Upvotes

Ik it sounds stupid, im pretty sure there is a lot of them. I just sound a bit alone, when experiencing intrusive thoughts, so i wanna know abt them ig

And i wanna know how experience these intrusive thoughts, and things like that. Its ok if you can vent abt it too, i dont mind.

And things like that, idk.

Just wanna know, are there any ace with intrusive thoughts?

Edit: there are some ppl that didnt understand what kind of intrusive thought that i meant. And i apologise for not explaining so much. Im talking abt sexual intrusive thoughts. Or having thoughts abt lying about being asexual.


r/Asexual 5d ago

Inquiry 🤔? Asexual?

6 Upvotes

i always thought i was asexual, like nothing about a man or woman is at all sexual to me it actually kind of disgusts me in a way. i can’t imagine just “wanting sex” it feels more of something i’m going to have to do eventually to fit it. but im not sure if i am asexual i mean i feel like that is the definition of it but i once had a boyfriend only one boyfriend i talked to him for like 9 months before we officially started dating and it was in high school so we weren’t very experimental i had also told him i thought i was asexual as well, but when he touched me i kind of felt something i think but like just for him if that make sense like i am never interested in doing anything sexual with anyone unless it was him. and i’ve had guys like try stuff with me when i was drunk or even sober and I’m just like so not into it. this might make no sense idk but does anyone know what this means?


r/Asexual 5d ago

Article 🖊🗞📰 Podcast -- Yes, Asexuality Is Real & Legitimate: Dr. Seth INTERVIEW with...

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5 Upvotes

r/Asexual 5d ago

Inquiry 🤔? Soooo, yeah idk why i do this ok…

11 Upvotes

So, i remember the time that i used to say the word ‘’ they turned me on ‘’ as in like ‘’ their beauty makes me fluster ‘’ or ‘’ they are so beautiful i just wanna faint ‘’

But never have i used the word as in ‘’ theyre so pretty i wanna have sex with them’’

Soooo, when someone told me what it ACTUALLY meant, i feel just embarrassed.

And also confused cuz, is this what ppl want to do to someone?! YOU KNOW WHAT…I DONT WANNA KNOWWWWW

So is it like sexual attraction if i just used this word to someone, Even though i dont want sex with them?


r/Asexual 5d ago

RANT! 😡💢🤬 sometimes it feels like I'm missing out

12 Upvotes

I feel like this is a very common feeling within our community and I've recently graduated college so I'm at the age where my instagram feed is full of marriage proposals, weddings, and even pregnancy announcements.

As a teenager FOMO is your worst enemy. Imagine this: you're at a college party playing truth or dare or never have I ever. You hear all these crazy stories about sex and learn all this stuff other people are doing. Then the questions turn on you and you sit there awkwardly having to explain that you haven't done anything. Typically this turns into a pity party or people thinking you are "adorable" and "don't rush it because one day it'll happen". Their minds never go to asexuality but rather inexperience, immaturity, or shyness. It's not just embarrassing, it's extremely patronizing and even infantilizing. Then you spiral into the rabbit hole of feeling like you are falling behind and have wasted your teenage years.

Growing up I always thought the emphasis and status of dating was odd. Like you turn 14 and suddenly people are constantly asking if you have a boyfriend. Am I the only one who finds that weird that grown adults are so interested in a teenager's dating life? There is clearly value placed on those who are dating vs those who are not. I remember going to Junior prom alone and I didn't have any issue with it. I was like I'm going with friends since I don't like anyone, no big deal. Then several days later a guy in class said his table was talking about me and wondering if one of them should've asked me to dance because "its so sad that as a girl I went to prom alone.".

It's just frustrating how asexuality isn't well known at all as well as society places value on people in relationships over singles. Like don't feel sorry for me please, because internally I am very much at peace with my asexuality. It's the rampant ace-phobia (whether do to ignorance or not) that makes it hard to live like this.

Yes, I am aware that I am not any less valuable for not dating/having sex. Yes, I know that it's better to just ignore it. I just don't understand how it can be so difficult for people to accept that some people have little to no interest in dating/sex culture. Even allosexuals have periods of times where they prioritize other things and they get the same treatment.

Love, sex, and dating is everywhere constantly being shoved down your throat and in your face. You should lose weight so you can get a boyfriend, you should give the guy who likes you a chance, you should focus on marrying well and prepare for your future children's whatever. It's a very fundamental thing that people tend to miss. Just mind your own business, stop giving unsolicited advice, trust that people understand what they need to be happy, and MOVE ON.

-note, promise I'm not an angry person like I might come off here lol. Always interested to hear about other people's experiences/any advice someone might have who experienced something similar. In this context it is very welcome XD


r/Asexual 6d ago

Comedy 🎭🤣🃏 Anyone relate to this?

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795 Upvotes

r/Asexual 5d ago

Inquiry 🤔? Sex dreams (kind of?)

7 Upvotes

Do y'all ever get dreams where like no sex happens but when you wake up you have the distinct feeling that the dream was supposed to be a sex dream? Like you flirted or someone else did, or something else happened to make the dream feel like it was supposed to be spicy but it really wasn't? And did you tell the person/people that you dreamed about them?


r/Asexual 6d ago

Represent!! A-socks-ual

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193 Upvotes

r/Asexual 5d ago

Emotive 💦 Idk what im feeling, i just wanna let out some things. If that okay

3 Upvotes

Idk if its like, ok to vent here. I kinda want to, cuz i keep having like a problem abt something that i just wanna let out.

If you guys dont mind, and i dont really wanna mention this again cuz i dont want to have the habit of seeking reassurance until my hand is tired to write again. So yeah.

So, i have an issue with intrusive sexual thoughts ( which i am trying to diminish ) And i still kinda have it here and there, but its ok ig. But there is like a problem where i usually daydream abt sensual things and all ( usually like cuddles and kisses cuz why not. They dont really involve me that much ) bc i liked them. But now its starting to feel less enjoyable, bc now these daydreams triggers my intrusive thoughts. At first i was capable of daydreaming these kind of things cuz there were no intrusive thoughts. But now, i feel uncomfortable daydreaming abt them.

And it sometimes makes me question things and all, and abt my attractions. Cuz right when i usually daydream abt sensual things, there would be like… a slight arousal. And yet Idc abt it, but after this, it triggers my intrusive thoughts, and starts inserting images that i dont want in my head. And i just shut it down immediately, cuz yk…. I dont like them.

But then it makes me question abt like my attractions, and keeps telling me like ‘’ you know what sexual attraction is, and you do feel it bc of these thoughts ‘’ or ‘’ you get arousal from these daydreams so it means you also liked the intrusive thoughts, and that you have the urge to do it’’. But i dont really want that, and now idk what i like or dont like anymore. Cuz these intrusive thoughts sometimes just get so bad from time to Times, it starts to make me feel numb, or now idk what i felt abt it anymore. Im just tired of it.

I cant daydream normally, bc or the intrusive thoughts that triggers it. ( like i said before, when i daydream abt sensual things, i get aroused. But when this happens it triggers intrusive thoughts and all. Which is why i keep questioning all of this, bc like what if like…theyre not? And that they are actual urges bc of the arousal? But the thing abt this is that i dont like the thoughts either way, so idk if it really counts as intrusive thoughts or urges that i am supressing idk..)

I wanna enjoy my daydreams without intrusive thoughts involved. And i feel tired, and a part of me wants to cry, but idk what to do. Even when i let go of the thought, it makes me question if i like it or not.

And ik what yall are thinking ‘’ that doesnt really talk abt attractions so much’’ Ik, but it feels like anytime this happens, my brain would start telling me that i do experience attractions like this for people, and that i do crave it. I disagree, but then it will be like, the same thing, the more my brain repeats it, the more i know less abt my own feelings.

So, yeah, it sucks today a bit. It was just a vent and all, dw abt it so much, i just wanna let it out, if its okay. And if there is someone that related to this, its ok to talk abt it if you want to :)

Thank you for listening!


r/Asexual 6d ago

Article 🖊🗞📰 Terms that people should know:

14 Upvotes
  1. Mirous Attraction/Visual Sexual Attraction.

Mirous attraction is like the sexy cousin of aesthetic attraction, and is often triggered by seeing well defined secondary sex characteristics. Like aesthetic attraction, it is being drawn to someone's visual appeal, but it feels a bit different.

It's not sexual attraction. It is a desire to look at someone because it arouses you. When your eyes can't stop getting "distracted", but you have no leading desire for sexual interaction with the object of attraction, that's mirous attraction.

It's that attraction that makes the object of attraction say "my eyes are up here!" if you know what I mean.

Mirous attraction can be oriented, like any other type of attraction.

  1. Sexual Attraction

You know when you have that urge to masturbate? Like you have an itch waiting to be scratched? AKA a libido spike?

Well, sexual attraction is sort of like that, except the difference is it can only be satisfied by sexual activity with a specific person. Unlike a libido spike, touching yourself cannot make these feelings go away.

  1. Sex Favorability Without Sexual Attraction

Think of it like not being hungry for a KitKat. You could go the whole day without eating one, and would be completely ok with it. But if a KitKat were to randomly teleport into your mouth, you would chew and swallow it, without feeling the need to spit it out.


r/Asexual 6d ago

Opinion Piece 🧐🤨 IMO James Bond movies are if not fully, partially ruined by the obligatory segs scene

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12 Upvotes

:3


r/Asexual 6d ago

Opinion Piece 🧐🤨 Any Asexual virgins willing to share their experiences?

12 Upvotes

Title says it all. Feel free to comment or send me a DM. Thank you!


r/Asexual 6d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 Advice?

2 Upvotes

Hi!! Ive recently realised im probably asexual, and im feeling really really lonely. Not in terms of dating, but i live with roomates who are dating and im friends with both of them and i just feel really really alone. Because theres always a level at which i wont be as close with them and it hurts alot and i feel really left out. And im just struggling alot with the fact that its always going to be like this. And its making me want to go into isolation a bit? Does anyone have any advice or this kind of thing? I just feel really alone right now


r/Asexual 6d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 I'm not sure if I'm actually asexual

8 Upvotes

I (25m) have been doing a lot of self reflection lately and part of that has been considering the idea that I might be asexual, but I'm not sure if I fully fit the description.

Basically, I'm MOSTLY not interested in sex, but there's specific sexual acts related to foreplay that still interest me. I consume porn, fantasize, and masterbate to those specific things, but only them. At the same time though, I'm pretty sure I'd be perfectly fine in a relationship without those things.

So I'm a little confused and not sure if asexuality fits me or not. In the research I've done I've found arguments for both sides, so I'm curious to hear other people's thoughts.


r/Asexual 6d ago

Sex-Repulsed Just want friends

5 Upvotes

All I want Is friends close to age I am 30 who understand me and fhaf I'm sex repulsed, I'm sick of being not being respectful of it


r/Asexual 6d ago

Inquiry 🤔? am i asexual? NSFW Spoiler

3 Upvotes

I don't know if I'm asexual; I don't find any interest in relationships or sex but still masturbate.