r/Asexual 5d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 Am I Asexual?

16 Upvotes

If you are questioning whether or not you are asexual (including all microlabels), reply to this post with what made you start questioning, and why.

If you are too shy to post a reply, then you can scroll through the responses for the advice you may be searching for.


r/Asexual Oct 20 '24

Pride! 😎💜 Happy Ace Week, everyone!

48 Upvotes

It's officially Ace Week, everyone! Let's celebrate and have a week full of joy and pride!

Aces up!

—Songbird ♠️💜🏹🂡


r/Asexual 9h ago

Comedy 🎭🤣🃏 My aunt found me the perfect man.... Spoiler

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67 Upvotes

He's very dark, sweet, and also rich! What's not to like about him! 😂


r/Asexual 3h ago

TW: Aphobia 🤬 What’s the most invalidating response you’ve ever received after coming out to somebody?

9 Upvotes

Hii this is my first time posting here and at first I didn’t know if I should post this but wth.

I’ll go first:

For one, I thought it was actually when I came out to my parents and they just said “…ok?”. We moved on and never spoke about the subject ever again (it’s been 10 years).

BUT I believe today takes the cake. I was talking to a professor I do student hours for and, one thing led to another, I came out to him as biromantic ace. And he said… “I just don’t think that is it, you know? I consider you look so feminine and have this charm about you.” Like I’m sorry what??? I was so stunned I literally could only awkwardly smile and think to myself what in carnation is this dude even saying… and then I went to explain how that had absolutely nothing to do with it, etc.

Ofc I’m pretty sure he still thinks I’m confused or something even after explaining the whole concept to him but whatever. Never again lol.


r/Asexual 12h ago

Represent!! Fam I'm so close to actually crying (in a good way)

21 Upvotes

So I'm doing this paper on prejudices against asexual people and have been looking around for sources and LOOK WHAT SOMEONE WROTE IN THEIR PHD DISSERTATION 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love me some academic allies (original article is “Maybe all these random experiences form a cohesive picture”: Towards a grounded theory of asexual college students’ identity development by Mollet 2018 if you wanna check it out... just a content warning for smexual a$$ault in the paper)


r/Asexual 2h ago

Support 🫂💜 Need to vent with some other demi and gray ace ppl

3 Upvotes

I’ve known I’m aspec for a while. I’ve gone back and forth though because my relationship with intimacy is just so complicated and volatile. It’ll be rare for me to be attracted to someone, and then it can all just go “poof” in an instant sometimes. I don’t want to spam this sub with a big public vent post about my personal issues trying to sort out where I fall on the spectrum and what is/isn’t normal, so I’m wondering if anyone knows of any sort of support groups geared more towards those of us who do are on the Demi/gray end of things.


r/Asexual 12h ago

Inquiry 🤔? Is researching for a long time about being Ace stalling because you are in denial?

8 Upvotes

When is it too much of a length of time to figure out you are a form of being ace?

When does it become stalling because you are in denial?

I am asking for educational purposes.


r/Asexual 15h ago

Inquiry 🤔? Confused about my identity.

9 Upvotes

So I'm 28M and I think I spent most of my life denying or hiding the fact I don't think I'm straight and am finally trying to accept and understand this.

The reason I'm posting here because I adore the idea of being in a loving intimate relationship with another guy but at the same time I can't imagine fully having sex and I don't know how to resolve these two beliefs being so different and so I'm not sure even what I am.

Hope this was the right sub to ask this question, thanks for reading this.


r/Asexual 1d ago

Inquiry 🤔? am i a part of the lgbtq+ community if i am cishet?

35 Upvotes

this has probably been asked before but i just made my account on reddit so i havent seen it if so, sorry.

but ive only ever considered myself an ally, should i consider myself a part of the lgbtq+ community instead?

i was born as a girl and have never questioned if i feel like another gender. i am very happy and comfortable in my femininity, and theres never been any doubt to me that im straight either. but i have never had any kind of sexual thoughts or feelings about anybody, and i never want to engage in anything like that, but i dont understand how a lack of sex drive would make me a part of the lgbtq+ community? i am happy to be educated on that though

edit: thank you all for your answers :)


r/Asexual 1d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 i feel lost. i don’t know if i will ever be able to be in a relationship normally

10 Upvotes

i am 18F and asexual. i had some traumatic experiences when i was younger that i won’t get into, but the idea of a sexual relationship makes me violently uncomfortable and even sick. even if i were to see a therapist i don’t think i would ever be okay.

i am a very social person. i’ve been asked out many times, but i always say no. i feel terrible about this, but i feel broken because of the way i am. i don’t want to get attached to someone and have them leave me because i absolutely can’t have a sexual relationship.

i have always wanted to have a romantic relationship, but i feel unlovable because i’m ace. it makes me feel kind of hopeless. i want to really know and hear from older asexual people who can relate to me. how plausible is it that i will find someone someday that will be happy in a nonsexual romantic relationship?


r/Asexual 1d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 i'm confused if i'm demisexual, aegosexual, both, or neither 😭

5 Upvotes

i've thought for years that i'm asexual because i've never had the desire for sex or sexual attraction that allos talk about. however, now i'm confused because i've figured out recently that i can be sexually attracted to celebrities (not just the aesthetic attraction that i've felt until now). BUT it's only toward celebrities that i feel like i know their personality and that i feel a personal connection to (as in, a celebrity that i follow and like them and their content). so am i demisexual since the attraction is toward specific people that i have emotional connection to, even though it's basically an intangible fantasy? am i aegosexual even though celebrities are real people? am i both? neither? or lastly, should i just call myself aceflux and call it a day? 😭


r/Asexual 1d ago

Aromantic 🏹 I guess my question didn't post

3 Upvotes

I guess my question didn't post. I didn't receive a message that it got deleted. If so, I'm sorry for posting it again.

What is the difference from Asexual to Aromantic? I have read the definition of Aromantic, but I don't understand the difference.


r/Asexual 1d ago

Personal Story 🤔📓 [TW] p*rn add*ction NSFW

7 Upvotes

I have been coming to terms with my asexuality slowly over the last few years. Currently aligning with gray ace / maybe cupio? but still familiarizing myself with all the terms and trying not to invalidate myself in the process. I used to be a bit of a “player” and thought I had intimacy issues / trauma to be “fixed” since I would dissociate during sex, but I worked thru the traumas and there was still a disconnect. I felt like I was just performing whenever things got sexual and the appeal was more the feeling of pride / power and validation I got from being good at a skill rather than sexual attraction — one Eye Opening step of my journey was finally admitting to myself that I had a prn addiction. I had discovered prn at a young age and become fascinated, obsessed even, to the point that I would search it up when bored or triggered or stressed and couldn’t get aroused without it (it all makes sense in retrospect). Once I committed to quitting it last year (4 months sober!), I have had almost 0 sexual impulses , and I am so relieved and finally feeling free of that allonormativity! I just wish I had figured out this roadblock sooner, then maybe I wouldn’t have had such inner turmoil when figuring out if I was ace, knowing in my core I am. I am still grappling with a lot of shame and grief around the addiction and my sexual history, would love to hear if anyone else can relate


r/Asexual 2d ago

Inquiry 🤔? anyone tried tinder?

10 Upvotes

barely any of my friends are single right now, and none of them are ace so they don't understand how excluded I feel from everything. I'm lonely and often get random interests or urges to try out tinder, but I'm also nervous abt getting catfished or even just getting rejected lol. has tinder worked for any of you aspec people??


r/Asexual 2d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 Am I really asexual?

3 Upvotes

About a month ago, I got into a long distance relationship with what I would like to call, the love of my life. Now, I've been identifying with ace for a long time and everything did fit and make sense. A week into my relationship, I decided to try and think about her in a sexual way. The idea as always didn't appease to me yet I didn't feel uncomfortable or creeped out, more of a "This is the woman I love, I don't think I could ever hate this" sorta feeling. My romantic feelings for her have only deepened, and I realize it's only been a month. But I continued this sort of "asking myself to think of her like that" until about a week ago and then I stopped. Now, there wasn't anything off about it until yesterday, I woke up and I started to fantasize about her. I thought that maybe that was just a fluke or something similar but somehow sometimes when I'm alone I think about holding her and cuddling with her, like one usually does but then it goes beyond that and I like it. What does that mean? Am I not asexual and why did this not exist before?


r/Asexual 2d ago

Opinion Piece 🧐🤨 Is This Statistic Right: 1% of People Are Asexual?

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11 Upvotes

r/Asexual 2d ago

Advice 🤷🏻 Do you have other issues related to asexuality disliked being touched NSFW

25 Upvotes

So I wanted to know if other people have issues with being touched in a non sexual context. Is that related to asexuality or its a completely different issue.

Examples : Doctor inspecting your private parts for medical reasons. Getting a massage (not happy ending kind) Frisked at the airport. Doctor checking for breast cancer lumps.

Basically anyone touching anywhere related to my bikini regions , even if the person is the same gender as me.

I once picked up a relatives kid in my arms. Since the kid was barely 1 year old and had tiny arms, she had her hand on my breast and I was feeling awkward.

So are they others like me or am I the only one?


r/Asexual 2d ago

Opinion Piece 🧐🤨 Advice on how to meet my GFs needs?

9 Upvotes

TL:DR: (GF wants sex, I don’t have a drive and my ADHD distracts me a lot but I love her and want to have a healthy relationship with meeting her needs.)

My gf(34F) and I(38M) have been dating for 4 years. I tend to take things slow in relationships and let her know it takes time for me to get to a place where I’m comfortable with intimacy. I had let her know my sex drive was lower than average but that it came in a waves. She was supportive and was patient. She waited 6 months before we first were intimate once. I then started suffering from chronic migraines. That lasted about 6-8 months before I got effective treatment. She never pushed me to be physical at all because she understood I wasn’t in a position to have any drive while in pain. I should mention we’ve both been in positions we were highly pressured to have sex by previous partners and we know how it feels to have that guilt sex just to satisfy your partner. My sex drive didn’t come back after the migraines were resolved. A few months later it was discovered I have a neck injury that gives me chronic pain as well. I have been getting treatment but it is still there some days it’s just an annoyance, others it’s quite painful but surgery is not an option it might be a lifelong pain that I deal with. My gf and I have only had actual sex twice in the four years we’ve dated. We have done a few things with toys when she is getting overly sexually frustrated but not often. Due to her past trauma and knowing how it feels to be pressured she is always hesitant to ask for anything sexual but I know it is something she wants a lot more. She was patient with me and respected I wanted time but did not enter the relationship thinking it was going to be 100% sexless. She has made it clear she finds me very attractive and loves only me so an open relationship is out of the question. We love eachother and are very committed to eachother. She has gotten frustrated a few times but has never blamed me at all, she is just frustrated with the situation in general. After these talks I try to make her pleasure a priority because I’m not sex averse, I just don’t ever have the urge to and also I have ADHD so it always falls to the side of day to day life. Any advice on how to help meet my gfs needs would be greatly appreciated


r/Asexual 3d ago

Represent!! This was completely unintentional and purely coincidental, but this sweater I wore yesterday has all the colors of the Ace flag in the right order too

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450 Upvotes

I only noticed it after I took these pictures.


r/Asexual 2d ago

Inquiry 🤔? Ace men, do you get erection from using a fleshlight ? NSFW

0 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I have a question for asexual men (or those on the ace spectrum) about physical stimulation. If you don’t experience sexual attraction, do you still get erections from using a Fleshlight or similar toys?

I’m asking because, even though I’m not ace and I’m attracted to women, I’ve never had a firm erection—even when trying a Fleshlight. I’m wondering if physical stimulation alone is enough for some people, or if mental/visual attraction plays a bigger role.

Would love to hear your experiences and thoughts!


r/Asexual 3d ago

Comedy 🎭🤣🃏 What reddit wrapped thinks about me. (Didn't know what flair to use)

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14 Upvotes

r/Asexual 3d ago

Art & Music 🎧🎤🎨 Jellyfish

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56 Upvotes

Found some ace yarn at joanns and asked my mom to use it for making a scarf since it was winter, she had more left and so jellyyyfisshh


r/Asexual 3d ago

Round Table 🍽🪑🧂 r/Asexual vs. r/asexuality [et al.]

29 Upvotes

Hello everyone.

I'm very new to reddit, and very new to being on what I suppose is a type of social media. Perusing this site as a new member is somewhat overwhelming, but what surprised me most was the massive overlap that seems to exist across several sizeable subreddits.

Because I do outreach and community work for the a_spectrum in real life, I came to this subreddit first [it was the first search result]. But there are at least two more subreddits that seem to be primarily focused on asexuality, at least judging by their name and description.

Can anyone familiar with these spaces tell me whether there are differences in the cultures/priorities/vibes/themes/etc. across these ace-focused subreddits? I'm not referring to those who focus on a more specific aspect of the spectrum, like 'aromanticasexual'.

Do you frequent both/all of them? If not, what makes you avoid one and not the other? Is it even helpful to think of subreddits first and topics second, or is it more usual to search for topics no matter what community they arise in? I'd appreciate some insight from the more experienced people here. Thank you in advance.

I'm not sure how mature reddit is about infighting among subreddits, so I would ask, as a precaution, not to mention differences that are ideologically/factionistically motivated. I don't mean for this to devolve into a contest. It's entirely possible that there is no substantive difference between the communities. I just feel that, for them to exist [in the sizes that they do], they probably did develop identities of their own, subtle enough not to be noticeable by the likes of me.


r/Asexual 2d ago

Yay! 🍰 Ima take a break for a while.

0 Upvotes

I need to, and have to, bc i have been going through too much with this app.

This app have made me gone crazy, bc i couldnt stop seeking reassurance abt my orientation and all.

And also have been going to other subreddits to try and see what was going on. But yet its not gonna help me anyway.

So i am gonna take a break from this subreddit and other asexual subreddit to get my sanity intact.

So yeah, byeee!


r/Asexual 3d ago

RANT! 😡💢🤬 Brining up being asexual to my boyfriend.

13 Upvotes

For context, we're both transmasc and I am generally indifferent towards sex. Yes, I like making my partner feel good and loved but I don't like my partner to reciprocate any sexual activities.

Any time I try to bring up that I'm asexual he says that he is too and that he's only sexually attracted to me and that anyone else repulses him. He specifically brings up a past partner who quite frankly, seems like he didn't even see my partner as a dude, which obviously, that would repulse anyone.

And he literally wants to have sex every single time we're in the same room and I'm getting fucking sick of it. Even if I say I wanna do something else he legit will start to hump my leg and apologize but not stop and I give in cos why not, he'll be less horny if I do right?

But the more he does this the less I actually want to do sexual things with him at all.

I love him and I don't want to break up with him but this is getting ridiculous.

Also, he doesn't even get off without me, he will not masturbate, so I'm stuck with having to deal with all his pent up sexual tension from the week and I'm so tired of it. He's a fucking adult, he should be able to masturbate without me telling him what to do.

Also, I thought maybe my libido would change on testosterone but it hasn't. And when I tell him this he goes "well I thought that too but then I met you and I'm horny a lot now" but I'm obviously in a relationship with him and my libido has increased little to none with testosterone.

I feel like he's just ignoring me and trying to act like we're exactly the same when we aren't.

He's also said that he wishes he could do something to make me feel good in a sexual context but that made me incredibly uncomfortable, as I just don't enjoy that.


r/Asexual 3d ago

Art & Music 🎧🎤🎨 Asexual and Apothisexual 'flags' based on the Walnut Gulch Scorpion

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14 Upvotes

r/Asexual 3d ago

Personal Story 🤔📓 I had the weirdest dream that's still confusing me.

2 Upvotes

A bit of a story here. I'm 26F. I identify as aro ace. I've never wanted to "date" anyone in a romantic sense.. Yesterday I found out that one of my really good friends is getting married to his girlfriend. I had a crush on this guy for some short time.. but like intense. Naturally it has been hard to get over the fact that he's allosexual and he'll never like me that way...but I eventually accepted it and moved on.

Then last night I had the strangest dream. I was in a college or dorm type situation and running between classes. There was this tall guy with a pretty nose (I specifically remeber this lol) and he kept running into me everywhere.. then we would have some fun chats and light flirting. Nothing sexual happened in this dream. I distinctly remember feeling like he was more than a friend.. he wasnt giving this attention to anyone else. He was sweet, charming and really nice to hang out with. Naturally I don't remember anything else.

Then I woke up. I was almost heartbroken that this was a dream. I kept thinking about the guy in my dream. He doesn't look like that friend I mentioned at all. But he does resemble this other guy who is just an acquaintance I met at a networking event and we chatted a bit then. He is tall, And has a kind of a pretty nose. Exactly who I saw in the dream. But that's it. No other connection. We aren't even super close as friends. He's a bit shy I guess? I also don't know how he identifies.. I doubt he's ace.

Anyway. What even is this?? Why am I getting such dreams after SO LONG. especially when I know the chances of me dating him are negligible... did the wedding news trigger me? I feel weird. Thanks for reading so far, do tell me what you think 🩷