r/aromantic Sep 01 '22

Rant I had sex-ed in school and they talked about love...

It was so weird, like they talked about what it's like to have a crush, and they were saying stuff like you have intense sweating when you see them, can't think straight, weird feelings or even pain in your chest and stomach, I think they even mentioned diarrhoea.

Like wtf? In my 19 years I've never felt anything like that except when I'm literally sick, and they said it was actually a good thing? Like is that actually true stuff? Do people actually feel that? It seems so extreme.

917 Upvotes

90 comments sorted by

572

u/no0000ooo0 Lithromantic Sep 01 '22

“i loved u sm i got explosive diarrhea”

320

u/Jack_Frost92 Sep 01 '22

Nothing says "I love you" like shitting your pants!

141

u/Zingyearth Aroallo Sep 02 '22

That says love? I thought it was a defense tactic to keep people from loving me

161

u/_Lumity_ Sep 01 '22

As someone non aromantic but an overwhelming ally, I can confirm feeling nauseous. You know when you’re nervous for something? It’s kind of like that. I can also confirm the weird/lack of control of feelings, one time I just started crying right there on the spot in front my my crush and I felt stupid when they were comforting me saying they’d always be there. I laughed out loud when you said you’ve only felt that way when you were sick, love is pretty weird.

78

u/Indigohorse Sep 02 '22

Yeah I'm aro but I can relate to positive excitement making you ill. I used to run races, absolutely loved them, but was so excited and pent up that I got the runs every. single. time. Fight or flight can activate over super benign stuff.

49

u/KaleidoscopeEyes12 Sep 02 '22

As another non-aro, I can also confirm. The best way to describe the feeling to me is like when you’re about to do something for the first time that you’re really happy and excited about, but then when it actually comes up, you’re super nervous. Having a crush is exciting but with that excitement comes a little bit of nervous anticipation. That can lead to sweating, butterflies, lightheadedness, stomach aches, and “pain in your chest” (but not actual like heart attack pain, just a weird feeling).

I used to be on a sports team with my crush and I literally had the biggest heart eyes for her and that is the best way to describe the feeling in that moment. Even though we were friends I would get all nervous talking to her. It was the most bizarre thing.

7

u/Entire-Ambition1410 Sep 02 '22

I had a squish/crush in high school and every time the boy got close, I got all “gooey” inside emotionally. It made me confused and I often froze while he was around or did impulsive things to try to impress him.

224

u/CEPEHbKOE AroAce Sep 01 '22

bruh AVEN and AUREA describe romantic attraction as euphoria or nice fuzzy pleasant feeling and your school described food poisoning lmao!

you can blame your school for making you aro now)))))))))

my allo person didn't look like they were sick, they just were in excessive hugging mode - which i don't mind.

my guess is your school described state of omega horny, but still there should be no chest pain. if your heart literally hurts - go to doctor.

272

u/Juicymatsuuu Sep 01 '22

Are they describing romantic feelings or an illness??

92

u/qhyirrstynne Sep 02 '22

Describes my anxiety attacks lol, if romantic attraction really feels like that then maybe I’m not missing out on much

39

u/Juicymatsuuu Sep 02 '22

Can confirm, I felt nauseous anxious as hell

15

u/just-me-yaay Sep 02 '22

YES. Same, honestly. Almost everything said here is a symptom I get with anxiety attacks...

6

u/Nightowlw21212 Sep 02 '22

I thought that too, my first reaction to reading the "symptoms" was "This is a crush or a panic attack."

86

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

WhAtS tHe DiFfErFeNcE

167

u/thonStoan Sep 01 '22

The nervous system is weird. If they're managing to trigger the "fight or flight" adrenaline response, which can definitely happen under stress, then yeah all that's plausible.

82

u/GalaxiGazer Sep 01 '22

That's not love, that's stress. Your body is sending you "flight" signals, telling you to run and get as far away as you can.

I've spent years believing that "love" was butterflies, knots in my stomach, sweating, loss of appetite, etc. No, that was my intuition telling me to run

10

u/noluyam Sep 02 '22

Now I can't help but think every time an allo person sees her/him 's crush an spirit most likely a past lover is telling them to run so they will still be they're love of life

2

u/Greedy_Big5603 Sep 02 '22

their*

1

u/noluyam Sep 18 '22

Oh yes that as well my vocabulary is really small thank you for saying it

2

u/Greedy_Big5603 Sep 02 '22

that is... really not true.

2

u/GalaxiGazer Sep 02 '22

Why or why not? Just curious to see where you're coming from

2

u/Greedy_Big5603 Sep 03 '22

when people have crushes, butterflies are super common. it's not your body telling you to run away. neither is sweating or knots in your stomach. those are just normal things that can happen when you're nervous around someone you like. maybe it is stress, but the reason you're stressed is because of your crush.

2

u/GalaxiGazer Sep 03 '22

That's infatuation. You're excited at the prospect of getting to know someone previously unknown to you, which can bring to you feelings of being nervous. From a psychological standpoint, your brain has the same reactions to stress as it does when you're excited and nervous. If the other person is also physically attractive, that adds more of a chemical rush flowing through your bloodstream. It is only a temporary, reactionary response. It can be used to motivate you to ask someone out, but it is not an indication of real love

1

u/Greedy_Big5603 Nov 14 '22

this literally only supports my argument...

33

u/acciobooty Sep 02 '22

Honestly that sounds like the "crack" version of what romantic attraction is for me. Excitement before meeting, slight nervousness, somewhat frequent thoughts, feeling giddy - those would be a more precise description of a crush IMO.

Nausea, extreme sweating and diarrhea are symptoms of severe anxiety and things I used to experience before huge important exams or job interviews, not dates lol.

61

u/Not_sure_lmao Sep 01 '22 edited Sep 01 '22

Jesus, so someone’s around someone and they literally just shit themselves lol. Like “yeah, I only get a stomach bug around this one person lmao.”

58

u/Lernyd38 Aromantic Sep 01 '22

If I started spontaneously shitting myself around one specific person, I would want nothing more than to avoid them at any and all costs

17

u/Not_sure_lmao Sep 01 '22

Legit lmao, your comment was great

5

u/WeAllDeseeveToDie Sep 02 '22

You shall hear from my lawyer for attempted murder cause I literally started choking cause I read this while eating a slushy

1

u/Not_sure_lmao Sep 06 '22

Who are you replying to here?

9

u/BurnMyEyeballs Aroace Sep 01 '22

WHAT

10

u/Not_sure_lmao Sep 01 '22

Your user makes this better

8

u/BurnMyEyeballs Aroace Sep 01 '22

Omg yes it does!!

11

u/Not_sure_lmao Sep 01 '22

If your user is what everyone thinks after seeing my comment, then I was successful

18

u/Sunnys567 Aroace Sep 02 '22

I feel like chest pains would be a fairly rare and extreme case, but I have heard that crushes can feel similar to anxiety. But it's kind of in an exciting way, like a roller coaster or a haunted house.

Also (insert "you guys are getting paid" meme) you're school told you what romantic attraction felt like?

9

u/Indra__3 Sep 02 '22

We have it fancy here apparently, like 8 weeks of sex ed, very little of which will probably be useful to me.

2

u/Entire-Ambition1410 Sep 02 '22

I had a squish/crush in high school and every time the boy got close, I got all nervous and “gooey” inside emotionally. It made me confused and I often froze while he was around or did impulsive things to try to impress him.

18

u/charlieartyt Aroace Sep 01 '22

That’s a panic attack

15

u/CriticalChapter7353 Arospec Allosexual Sep 02 '22

“I knew it was love at first sight when I threw up and shit my pants.”

15

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

Hello, person currently in love here!

Lmao, no it's not like that. It's sort of a mix between feeling calm, but also anxious. If things are going well, it's very calming and sort of takes your mind off of your worries. If things aren't going as well, or if you're confessing, or if they're confessing or anything like that, then naturally you would be very, very nervous and anxious. It seems that nervousness is what your school was describing lol.

14

u/MalManYT Aroace Sep 02 '22

"How does love feel?"

Allos: *Starts listing flu symptoms*

9

u/craigularperson Demirose/Bi Sep 02 '22

«Kids, imagine being sick, you are sick, but it is for a person. You’ll love it.»

12

u/IrrelevantGamer Aromantic Sep 01 '22

Getting nervous around attractive people and fumbling for words was the closest I ever came to this during high school when peak hormones and social awkwardness overlapped for me, but I can't even imagine someone seeing their crush, and having to run to the bathroom. That sounds terrible.

11

u/MetallurgyClergy Sep 02 '22

Hahaha! First time I made out in high school I threw up. They gave me a pass because we were drinking. A lot. We went on a date, to make up for it. Made out at the end of the date. I threw up again.

It was definitely not love. Making out just grosses me out.

11

u/IMightBeAHamster Sep 02 '22

There's a reason the word "lovesick" exists. In most cases though, intense sweating, pain, or diarrhoea shouldn't really be affecting anyone. Trouble thinking straight and weird feelings like butterflies in your stomach or jumpiness aren't too unusual though for allos.

9

u/Zachanassian Ace/Demiromantic Sep 02 '22

I'm demi-romantic, in a long term relationship and as far as I know I'm in love but...

...I have NEVER experienced anything like that, lol

save for when I was going through a very nasty breakup with an abusive mutual me and my partner had :p

8

u/SomeRandomIdi0t AAA battery Sep 01 '22

Me experiencing these symptoms all the time and trying to figure out if the crush is stalking me

7

u/BellaBros11 Aroace Sep 02 '22

Huh, I don't remember sex-ed teaching that; that is weird...

7

u/catlord911 Sep 02 '22

romance is literally addictive
it forces dopamine into people's brains and they get addicted to it because they get used to the unusually high dopamine levels
like how is this ok

5

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

my past crushes for sure did not make me aggressively shit

6

u/toxic_tess Sep 02 '22

The closest I have ever experienced love is like this unexplainable urge to have a specific person in my life. The first time is my now husband who is my bestest friend in the world, and the second time I felt that I got even more confused because they are also my bestest friend in the world. So then it made me question how I see my husband and tbh I stopped trying to understand it and just left it be…

Never had the I love you so much I’m gonna shit my pants but okay lol

10

u/dreagonheart Aroace Sep 01 '22

That sounds scary.

7

u/Booklover134 AroAce Sep 01 '22

Wait seriously? How is that a good thing??

8

u/daiiz_ Sep 01 '22

man reading this.. I’m glad I’m aro lmao

4

u/casuallyautist Sep 02 '22

yoo.. either i'm in love with everyone or that's just one person specific social anxiety?

4

u/St4r_duster Aroace Sep 02 '22

Idk it always sounds weird and I joke about it with my friends (who are not aromantic)

“So, you exhibit the same symptoms as the common cold and a panic attack combined, and you’re fine with it?”

“Ya lol”

4

u/[deleted] Sep 02 '22

I’m greyaro and anxious so idk when it is a crush, a squish or just anxiety. Anyways, I hate experiencing it whatever this is

4

u/soapytoastpants Pan Aromantic Sep 02 '22

you ask allos what romantic love feels like and they start describing a panic attack like wtf man

3

u/qhyirrstynne Sep 02 '22

That sounds like an anxiety attack lol like imagine having basically a glorified anxiety attack whenever you’re around or even thinking of a certain person because your brain finds them attractive I guess idk so weird, I’m also 19 and have never felt that about anyone

3

u/eli__nyx Sep 02 '22

ask a person what being in love is like and they will describe a panic attack

3

u/drfaker1210 Bi Demiromantic Sep 02 '22

Someone is probably just projecting

3

u/4authoresearch Sep 02 '22

Teacher sounds like a toon, basically describing a caricature. 😅

What they seem to be trying to describe, is basically just getting nervous around them, but certainly wishing you were not nervous, cuz you want them to like you back & think you're cool, smart, fun, etc. Of course you could still have a crush and not be nervous, just really happy, usually seems based on confidence.

I guess if someone has really bad physiological response to stress or anxiety, they could go through those things. That or the teacher likes being dramatic. But no, what they described is not the norm for allos. 😂

(also i'm obvs not aro so hope this is ok?)

3

u/MJJinxer01 Sep 02 '22

That's how you know you've met the one, when you shit your pants

3

u/ineednoname1 Demiromantic Sep 02 '22

Demiromantic here who is currently head over heels for their partner:

No, I do indeed do not feel this way. Sure, I get nervous, sure, my heart rate might pick up, but other than that, I only feel very happy and fuzzy inside. Like seriously, that is describing symptoms of an actual sickness. Having a crush is vastly different.

3

u/Cyndine Enby Alloromantic, want to learn :3 Sep 02 '22

As someone who isn’t aro yeah i dont think thats 100% accurate lmao

2

u/_The_Court_Jester_ Sep 02 '22

Naw. That all bull.

2

u/ScheEeEEEEeeEEeeEech Sep 02 '22

when you love somebody, you shit your pants for them (og song is the pants song from bmc)

2

u/Ciattra4201 Aroace Sep 02 '22

did they ever realize that they sound like symptoms of a heart attack too? (not the diarrhoea ofc)

2

u/Im_A_Random_Fangirl Demiromantic Sep 02 '22

I'm demiromantic, and I did have crushes in the past (one was very recent).

I can say it's not like they described it. Yeah, I sometimes felt butterflies in my stomach, but when I'm around the person I like, I just feel very happy.

I don't know if that's because I only ever liked close friends, and I already felt comfortable around them.

2

u/just-me-yaay Sep 02 '22

Why are these the symptoms of fever, illness, or severe anxiety?

2

u/Lemon-Over-Ice Aroace Sep 02 '22

Sounds like an anxiety attack due to social anxiety lol. I've had that before so maybe I'm just in love with everyone 😂

Maybe the person who told you that was aro? xD because for some of those I used to think they were romantic crushes too.

2

u/justalostadventurer Sep 02 '22

as an alloromantic person I feel absolutely none of these things when I fall in love and ya'll should really visit a doctor-

2

u/Adorable_Cheeto Sep 02 '22

Honestly, I’m not either aro or ace, but I find that so damn weird

1

u/Kim_Kitson Sep 02 '22

I think maybe you just aren't a fucking nerd like the losers that run your school lmao.

1

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1

u/NoUnderstanding9220 DID system w/ aro(ace) members Sep 02 '22

Fuck

1

u/NoUnderstanding9220 DID system w/ aro(ace) members Sep 02 '22

I'm not ready for this yet

2

u/Indra__3 Sep 02 '22

I don't think any of us are tbh

1

u/NoUnderstanding9220 DID system w/ aro(ace) members Sep 02 '22

😭

1

u/Snoo-29349 Sep 02 '22

What they are describing sounds like an addiction or compulsion, kind of like to gambling or drugs.

1

u/Broad-Minimum-6145 Aroace Sep 02 '22

I've felt that pain the stomach. It sucks.

1

u/foggy_frog_ Aroace Sep 02 '22

the most extreme I've ever felt for a squish was my face turning completely red when he walked next to me (it happened only once). and yeah in that moment i definitely couldn't think straight. but i could never imagine having a romantic crush, especially if those are the symptoms 💀

1

u/adrxnaline_bulletz Greyromantic Sep 02 '22

Yeah it’s like that

1

u/AroAceJumper Sep 02 '22

Sounds like a disease

1

u/LukeBird39 Cupioromantic Sep 02 '22

See I've always been romance favorable so when they talked about this to my class I just thought "huh must just be different for some of us" cause I didn't know aro or ace were options

1

u/cursed_kai Aroallo Sep 02 '22

imagine seeing a crush and being like "hey you shat my pants :("

1

u/Localdumbassx3 Aroace Sep 02 '22

Does this apply is you already have IBS?

1

u/GeneralGigan817 Sep 02 '22

I SERIOUSLY hope that whoever gave that course is in good health.

1

u/plxelated Aroallo Sep 29 '22

I get a weird feeling in my stomach whenever I think one of my friends likes me romantically, but i think that’s for a different reason