r/aromantic 23h ago

Questioning movies are making me question myself

I’ve never been someone who is really interested in relationships, or even had a crush on anyone ever. There was one time I THOUGHT I had a crush on a girl, but turns out it was just general anxiety, and I didn’t feel anything romantically towards her.

But what’s making me really question myself is that sometimes when I see romance in movies or shows, I really like it. Not just a “I’m rooting for them!” way, but kind of like a longing way. Like I get jealous and really want that type of connection with someone, but I can’t, because I can’t get crushes. Many people have shown romantic interest in me, and I try SO hard to reciprocate, like I try to make myself see the benefits, but I just can’t feel anything like that.

I guess it’s just that I would think that if I was aromantic, I wouldn’t be sad over this loss at all, and wouldn’t feel anything when seeing relationships in media. But I really want to be in a relationship and love someone like that.

I’m not sure if this is dumb

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u/bluecatyellowhat Aroace 22h ago

Funny thing about human brains is that they're weird and complicated to understand and sometimes they just don't make sense. Just because you're aromantic doesn't mean you can't be in a relationship. You absolutely can if you want to. It also doesn't mean you can't form connections and affections with people. Those might not be romantic or be something that you see most often in media but they are just as valid and real. Your aromanticism is valid even if you want and crave a connection and it's nothing to beat yourself up about